Defrosting Edward
by Aleeab4u
Summary: Bella's been trying to warm Edward up in more ways than one. With a little help from Alice, a broken truck and a few burned fingers, she just might have found his defrost button. Rated M with canon characters, based on "practice makes perfect." E/B AU
1. Let the Thaw Begin

**Updated A/N (Sept. 2012) **Hello, Readers. **Warning:** This story contains _tons_ of steamy, descriptive, romantic, loving, intense sex. _It is meant for adult readers only._ If you're not a fan of lemonade, this is not the story for you.

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Still here?

Great! Welcome to Defrosting Edward. :) This story is based on the "practice makes perfect" line from the series which was used in reference to Edward and Bella attempting to become more intimate with each other. The characters are mostly canon in personality, though of course it's AU in terms of their actions and choices which vary greatly from the books/movies. It was meant to be short, but somehow it got away from me and became so much more. I even began to affectionately call it my 'never-ending-lemon-monstrosity.' :P

Because this story was not planned or outlined in any way past the first 6 chapters, I often asked readers to chime in and give preferences for everything from whose POV to write, to specific types of content. I was extremely privileged to have many jump in and offer their thoughts, wishes, opinions and guidance. Because of that, I consider this story a joint venture between me and my readers, and I personally feel it makes DfE all the more interesting and fun.

In short, I loved every second I spent working on this story. It holds a very special place in my heart. I hope you'll enjoy reading it half as much as I enjoyed writing it. :)

Aleea

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**Disclaimer:** The characters in this story and certain elements of the plot belong to the Twilight Series and their creator, Stephenie Meyer. I'm just a fan who lovingly and respectfully wants to take them different places and keep them alive a little longer in our hearts and imaginations. No personal profit is obtained and no copyright infringement is intended.

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**Defrosting Edward**

**~~xx~~**

**Chapter 1**

Let the Thaw Begin

. . . . . .

I stomp down the final few yards of the Cullen driveway, not bothering any longer to even try and avoid the puddles or the mud that splatters my jeans in ever increasing amounts. I am soaked to the skin, freezing cold, and mad as hell.

What exactly is the point of having a psychic soon-to-be sister-in-law if she couldn't foresee that my ancient behemoth of a truck was going to break down over half a mile from here? In the middle of the pouring rain no less? And what is the point of having a fiancé with vampire '_superpowers_' if all it's going to get me is an insanely expensive and complicated cell phone I can't figure out how to use? Not to mention painfully burned fingers from trying to check a blown radiator hose I didn't have any business touching. _His_ fingers wouldn't be raw and blistered right now. Of course, I can't mention any of this to him. Not when he's been wanting, no _dying_, to replace my truck. No doubt with some insanely expensive vehicle with a name I won't even be able to pronounce, let alone drive. If I can't work a cell phone, I probably won't be able to operate some sleek foreign zillion dollar car. Has he thought about that? Irritating immortal that can't _die _anyway!

Full into sulk mode, I reach the door and wonder where everyone is. They have to know I'm here. Vampires can hear someone as heavy-footed and clumsy as I am approaching from a mile away.

No sooner do I begin to wonder if maybe they've all taken off on an impromptu hunting trip then the door swings open. It happens so fast I almost teeter off the steps and land on my ass in the mud. Not that it would matter if I did, seeing as I can't possibly get any wetter. Still, I'm grateful when Alice's very strong, very cold hands grab me just in time. Obtaining a few bruises seems like a small price to pay for whatever might be left of my dignity. That doesn't stop me from scowling at her, however. She, on the other hand, is smiling like the cat that swallowed the proverbial canary. I'm instantly suspicious.

"Alice! What the hell?" I hiss through chattering teeth.

She holds her finger up to her lips in a shushing motion, frowning back at me in warning. Her eyes, though, are lit up like Christmas tree lights.

"Oh, Bella, you're soaked. Get in here! What happened to you, you poor thing?" She winks, and I suddenly get that she wants me to play along. My scowl grows; I am so not in the mood.

Edward appears at my side, looking concerned as Alice pulls me into the house. I try to resist, which of course is pathetic. I don't have one ounce of her strength.

"Wait! Alice, stop," I cry. "I'm dripping everywhere; Esme is going to kill me if I ruin her floors."

Edward huffs. "Don't be ridiculous, Bella. Alice, stop pulling on her and go get towels." He sounds slightly annoyed as he pulls me from her grip, and I can't help notice how handsome he looks even when he's irritated.

"Bella, what happened? Look at you, you're soaking wet. You'll catch pneumonia." I don't know how I'm expected to answer him when I'm being suffocated in towels that seem to be coming at me from all directions. Somehow I manage to convey the need to breathe, and thankfully they let my head loose.

"M...m...my ttt truck died." My teeth are chattering so hard I can barely speak.

"Why didn't you call me, Bella? Did you lose your phone? Are you hurt?" Edward may be gorgeous, but his rapid-fire questions are kind of abrasive. I really just want to get out of these freezing cold wet clothes. Since vampires really don't require the comforts of heat, the temperature in the house isn't exactly toasty.

"Carlisle?" Edward calls as he is checking me over, scanning me from head to toe in a completely non-flattering checking for injuries way. Though I obviously look fine - drowned rat appearance aside - he apparently wants a second opinion.

"Edward, I'm fine, you don't need to bother..."

Too late, of course. Carlisle is already standing beside him. I see a brief smirk of amusement cross Carlisle's movie star handsome face before he quickly masks it and adopts the professional all-business look of a physician. "Bella, are you okay?"

I let him know I've seen the smirk by turning the full force of my scowl on him instead of Edward. It's really hard not to be rude when he's fighting not to laugh at me.

"Carlisle, I'm fine. Edward is just … being Edward." In my irritation I flap my hands, and Carlisle's sharp physician senses hone in on them.

"Let me see those hands, Bella," he demands, all traces of amusement vanishing behind sudden concern.

Before Carlisle can even reach for me, Edward has my wrists in his grip. He turns my palms up for inspection.

There is a shocked moment of silence, followed quickly by Edward berating me.

"Bella, what in the name of God have you been doing to yourself?" His tone is equal parts horrified and exasperated.

He relinquishes my hands to Carlisle, who also clucks disapprovingly, while I scowl even harder at Alice. I feel like a scolded child, and I don't appreciate it. She backs away a bit, shaking her head almost imperceptibly, her eyes imploring me to … What? Not rat her out? She obviously saw this coming; what is she up to?

My attention returns to Edward. He's down on his knees in front of me trying to absorb some of the water from my soaked jeans and warm me with chafing motions of the water-logged towel. The sight is enough to guarantee my cooperation with Alice, who obviously doesn't want me to implicate her. It's actually enough to make my mind go completely blank. Okay, well, not completely, but it certainly does a lot to improve my body temperature. In fact, the hot blush that consumes me seems to spread from his cold hands around my ankles all the way to the top of my head. I've had a recurring fantasy lately that involves Edward being in this exact position, although it doesn't involve rainwater or towels, or clothing for that matter. My frustrated human hormones are extremely inventive lately.

Still blushing, I force my attention back to Carlisle who's been speaking while my mind has been in the gutter. "I'm sorry, what?"

"We'll need to put some antibiotic salve on these, Bella, and they'll need to be bandaged I'm afraid, at least for a few days. The blisters could break and cause infection. These are fairly serious second-degree burns. It would be better if we don't take chances."

I instantly balk. The thought of a trip to the emergency room is enough to make me stubborn on any given day, never mind this one. "Carlisle really, I've burned myself before, it's fine. I mean, all this..._fuss_...isn't really necessary, is it?"

"It absolutely is necessary, Bella. Sorry." He smiles kindly trying to take the sting out of his demands. "Luckily I have everything I need to take care of that right here. So, if you'll accompany me to my office, we'll get you fixed up. Okay?"

Before I can reply, Edward scoops me up in his arms, cradling me like a small child.

"Edward, I can walk you know. My hands are hurt, not my feet," I mutter, sounding petulant in my embarrassment. Normally I'd never refuse any kind of contact with him, but I'm feeling more than a bit ridiculous right now. Not to mention human, unattractive, wet, cold, muddy... The list is nearly endless and not very flattering.

"This is faster, and I would hazard to say, safer." Case in point, he places me on my feet making me aware that we are already in Carlisle's office. I barely noticed the movement, and in my thoughts I grudgingly admit I probably would have tripped on the stairs. Definitely faster and safer, though I'm not about to tell him that.

A hard shiver racks me, and Edward takes his arms away, stepping back, frowning slightly. "You're freezing," he remarks.

It takes a lot of effort not to roll my eyes at him for stating the obvious.

"Edward, why don't you go and see if Alice has something dry for Bella to wear." Carlisle takes my hands, gently beginning the process of cleaning them with something that stings like fire and smells medicinal. I hiss in reaction and Edward groans. I know that he hates seeing me in pain so I look up apologetically. He sighs then brushes a soft kiss against my cheek before disappearing.

"So, Bella. How exactly did you do this?"

I turn my attention back to Carlisle. "Radiator hose." I'm not in the mood to explain and doubt I need to say anything more than that anyway. I've always been accident prone, something he is well aware of. This isn't his first time patching me up after all.

"Ah, I see."

His simple reply confirms my suspicion that a lengthy explanation isn't necessary, and he finishes with one torture and begins another. The ointment he applies on my cleansed hands smells medicinal as well, and even his cool, gentle touch hurts.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes gently, his eyes sympathetic when he glances up without pausing. "I know this is painful. The salve has an anesthetic effect, though I'm afraid it takes a few minutes to work."

I bite my lip, managing a tight nod in response. Edward is already back, and he reaches for me, turning my head towards him and carefully pressing it against his shoulder, effectively blocking my view of Carlisle's efforts. The comfort he's attempting to offer is more than welcome. I press my forehead hard against his solid granite muscles with a slight whimper while he rubs my back gently. I'm in too much pain to protest being babied, not that I ever protest any physical contact with him.

Still, this stings like hell. Aggravating tears prickle hotly behind my eyes, and I blink rapidly to get rid of them.

Luckily, Carlisle is done in only a few short minutes, and thankfully the salve is indeed beginning to work. The numbing agent in the ointment begins to kick in, dulling the pain to a slight tingle of discomfort. I flex my fingers a bit, wiggling them in the loose gauze bandages Carlisle wrapped them in. Already I'm foreseeing a world of difficulties ahead of me thanks to my impulsive attempt at being a mechanic.

Edward turns me away, guiding me out of the room as soon as Carlisle is done telling me all the things I shouldn't do until he checks the burns again later. I add to the list of difficulties ahead of me with growing dismay, unfortunately not concentrating at all on where we're going. Between trying to turn my head and thank Carlisle, and not trip over my own feet under the pressure of Edwards hand on my back, I almost run smack-dab into Emmett.

"Whoa there, Bells. Hey, what the heck happened to you?" He's already laughing before I can say anything. "Whatta'd ya do, fall in a swimming pool with all your clothes on?" He belatedly notices my bandaged hands, and laughs harder. "Wait, I know. You fell into a swimming pool while holding onto an angry cat."

"Shut-up, Emmett," I reply in exasperation. I'm really not in the mood for Emmett's brand of comedy at my expense. I'd actually like to think of something wittier to say in response, but intelligent comebacks are currently beyond me.

Edward steers me around Emmett, no doubt giving his brother the evil eye as he does it. Not that it would bother Emmett. He never misses an opportunity to tease anyone, least of all me. As if to prove that point, Emmett completely ignores me telling him to shut-up.

"Hey, Bella?"

I shouldn't, I know, but I stop and turn because I'm polite to a fault sometimes.

"Nice boobies."

Before I can react, Edward and Emmett both vanish from sight. The disappearance is instantly followed by a loud crash and a slight grunt of pain from Emmett. Another crash follows that, then, "Aw, damn it, Edward. Rosalie's gonna kill me! She freaking loves that chair."

Ignoring the continuing sounds of wrestling, I look down at my top and cringe in sudden realization. My wet blouse is nearly transparent. Luckily, I'm wearing a bra with a little built in padding that prevents a complete showing of my less than stellar assets. Unfortunately, the cold has puckered my nipples into rather prominent points, and well hell, could this day get any worse?

Edward returns, brushing something off his pants. Probably the remnants of whatever chair they broke. He resumes guiding me into his room and gestures at the bed. "Alice left you some clothes."

Apparently he's going to ignore what Emmett tactlessly pointed out. Though I guess he would've already noticed himself and chose to say nothing! Always the gentleman, and why am I not surprised?

I ignore the clothes to turn and glare at him. "You could have told me," I spit out angrily, crossing my arms over my chest in embarrassment."Oh, my God, Edward! I stood in front of Carlisle like this!"

He has the grace to look mildly repentant. "Sorry, I wasn't thinking. I was concerned about your hands, not a little bit of semi-transparent fabric. And Emmett was just being crass. You're not indecent, Bella."

I stare at him, trying to decide why that explanation makes me angrier, only to realize that I kind of wish he felt something else in addition to his concern for some minor burns. Shouldn't seeing me in a wet nearly see-through shirt do something for him? At the very least get him ogling me a little? His self control isn't very flattering, I decide. Before I can think how to respond, another shiver runs over me.

Edward reaches for the clothes on the bed, looking concerned. "You need to get changed out of those wet clothes before you get sick."

I start to reach out, planning on yanking them out of his hands, when we both realize at the same time that particular task is going to be a little difficult under the circumstances.

"Uh, why don't I go track down Alice. She can help you."

He smiles.

So do I.

Lately, I've been seizing every opportunity I can to push Edward's self-imposed limits, and this one is just too good to pass up. If I'm not mistaken, I'm pretty sure Alice has made herself scarce. The pieces of the puzzle are beginning to come together, and this wouldn't be the first time she endeavoured to help me with my goals of loosening up my extremely moral fiancé.

"I think Alice left," I'm quick to point out. Instantly I see that my assumption is right when Edward's expression falls. His face is almost comical as he looks down at my hands, barely avoiding an overly long pause on my breasts. That little slip, brief though it is, does a lot to alleviate my earlier irritation. Maybe he's noticed more than he's letting on.

His mild look of panic would be cute, if I wasn't standing here in misery. I think this is the first time I've seen him at a loss, and it's all I can do not to grin.

"Is Rose or Esme here?" I ask innocently. I know they're not, but I ask anyway. It never pays to be too obvious with Edward. Sometimes he's beyond stubborn. I wouldn't put it past him to think of some other highly creative yet much less pleasurable way of helping me undress if he knew what I was thinking.

He sighs loudly. "No."

"Oh," I reply, biting my lip a little and waiting for him to take the bait. He doesn't, of course, so I purposely play up the shivering just the tiniest bit. It's not hard to do; I really am freezing to death. "Could you maybe . . . ?"

His eyes snap up to mine, then back down to my breasts before immediately coming back to my face. He swallows hard, and I see that look, the one I'm beginning to recognize as desire cross his features. That's the look I'm after. The one I've been able to coax out a time or two lately, but not nearly often enough or long enough for my liking.

Trying not to appear too pushy, I take a small step toward him, closing the distance between us. "Or I suppose you could just get me a blanket. I guess I can air dry."

His eyes narrow suspiciously. I swear they turn darker, and I know he's on to me. Damn it, I went too far. I wait for the inevitable. Either he'll help me but keep himself so restrained it will be awkward and embarrassing rather than arousing, or he'll get me a stupid blanket.

The waiting is painful, especially since I feel like I'm turning into an icicle. "Never mind," I sigh, turning in defeat and reaching for the buttons on my blouse on my own as I head for the bathroom. The simple movement hurts a lot.

Edward suddenly stops me with one hand on my shoulder, spinning me around before I can get to the washroom. "Come here, Bella."

I sigh out loud, figuring we're going for awkward and embarrassing when his hand cups my face softly. He lowers his mouth to mine, placing a gentle, lingering kiss on my lips. The kiss does more to warm me up than all the dry clothes in this entire house. And between Rosalie and Alice and their penchant for all things fashionably current and trendy, that's saying a lot.

I feel his hands slide down from my face, reaching for the buttons I wasn't able to undo. My heart stutters, and I forget how to breathe when the first one slides effortlessly from its enclosing loop.

Edward chuckles softly against my lips, still continuing to kiss me senseless. I'd curse my stupid traitorous tell-everything heart if his tongue, ice cold and sweet as heaven, wasn't sliding over my lower lip in a teasing caress, stealing all coherent thought from my brain.

"Breathe, Bella," he whispers, parting the now gaping material of my shirt, already finished with the buttons. His hands only barely graze my flesh but it feels incredible. Little sparks of that familiar electricity that exists between us, dance along my nerve endings. I'm so cold I can hardly tell the difference between his temperature and mine, which is a startling first.

He makes equally quick work of the button on my jeans and then my zipper, before moving his hands to cup my hips and pull me closer. He groans softly, a completely different sound than the one he made earlier in Carlisle's office. I no longer notice the cold at all. Heat pools everywhere inside of me, the contrast between my outsides and my insides creating a tiny moan in the back of my throat.

Edward deepens the kiss, swallowing the sound with a slight growl that instantly starts to make me damp in a very new way. One that has nothing to do with rain or wet clothes. He slides his hands under the waistband of my jeans and guides them with excruciating slowness down my thighs. The touch of his fingers on my bare skin is almost too much. Combined with his continued kisses, my knees start to buckle.

Edward breaks away, lifting me away from the puddle of denim at my feet. "You are absolutely covered in goose flesh," he murmurs, letting his now very dark eyes roam my body.

Blushing, I pull the cold, damp edges of my blouse back together. His comment is not exactly the complimentary sweet talk I was hoping for.

He frowns at my actions, catching my arms. "Don't," he says, his voice sounding equal parts velvet-lined and rough. As he holds my arms out to the sides, he shakes his head, drinking me in. "Don't cover yourself. My, God, Bella. Do you have any idea?" He groans again, and it's all I can do to stay standing. "Any idea at all how exquisite you are?"

I try to move back into his arms, partly out of embarrassment at my near nudity, and partly because it's the only place I really want to be right now. He restrains me, and I can't help the slightly frustrated way I say his name. Unfortunately, the coaxing effect I was going for is completely ruined by my chattering teeth. Instead of sounding sexy, it just sounds silly.

He grins at my stammering and leans down to kiss me some more, careful to hold his body at a respectable distance. I realize he's concerned about his temperature making me colder than I already am, but it still feels a little like rejection. I'm soothed a bit when his tongue briefly touches mine, the little electric tingles feeling more like lightning bolts whenever he allows himself to be that brave. It's rare. He's hardly ever willing to risk any part of my mouth coming in contact with his sharp teeth and venom. Still, he continues to kiss me, the action a little more chaste yet still very pleasant.

"You can't shower with your hands this way, but I could draw you a warm bath?" He murmurs the question against my lips, barely even breaking the little kisses he's giving now. His sweet breath floods my mind and fogs it right up.

"What?" As usual I am brilliantly intelligent under the full force of Edward's dazzling abilities.

He smiles and pulls back, a slightly smug expression on his glorious face. "I asked if you'd like me to draw you a bath. You'll need to keep your hands out of the water, but a warm soak will help to thaw you out."

I can't help being slightly put out by his constant ability to deny me, even when I am trying to be my most alluring. I suppose to be fair, the whole drowned rat look I have going on probably isn't all that sexy, and a bath does sound wonderful. So instead of arguing, I sigh and nod.

He's gone in a flash, and only seconds later I can hear the water running in the tub. The sound makes me shiver harder at the thought of the warmth. It suddenly occurs to me that this is even better than what I was loosely planning in my mind. Edward isn't exactly going to be able to leave me alone in there. Not when there's no way I can use my hands for balance. Especially not when he's so hyper aware of what a klutz I am. The combination of those two things and the addition of a slippery tub just spells disaster for someone like me, a thought that won't be lost on him. His overprotective tendencies are suddenly my greatest ally.

Smiling, I glance at myself in the mirror. The smile grows as I contemplate my hair. I just washed it last night, but the wind and rain have made quite the mess. The only way to get that out is shampoo and conditioner, two things that definitely require fully functioning fingers for effective use. And just look at my poor hands. Suddenly, I'm beginning to see this day in a whole new light, and I'm not nearly as dismayed at that lengthy list of difficulties I was contemplating earlier. Especially since I'm not the only one who needs to thaw. Since defrosting Edward is my newest, most favourite activity in the world, this bad situation could actually be good.

_Really _good.

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A/N Bella, Bella, so devious... I kind of like this determined side of her. Let the defrosting commence. ;)


	2. Still a Little Frozen in the Middle

**A/N** Welcome back! Ready for a little more?

Lets see how far Bella gets with her plan, shall we?

Aleea

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**Defrosting Edward**

**~~xx~~  
**

Chapter 2

Still a Little Frozen in the Middle

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When Edward comes back from running my bath, I somehow manage to wipe the smirk off my face and adopt a suitably helpless look. It's not hard; I am currently pretty helpless. He instantly takes the bait when I throw in a small pout.

"Aw, love," he says softly, "do your hands hurt very much?"

"A little." It's not a lie, though Carlisle's ointment is keeping the worst of the pain at bay. I decide playing on his sympathies just the tiniest amount can't hurt, and I press my body close to him. Wrapping my arms around his waist parts the material of my blouse, and my naked stomach presses flush against him. The feeling is very nice, even if he does have a shirt on.

He holds me close and places a kiss on the top of my head. "C'mon, let's get you in that tub, you are absolutely freezing, I can hardly tell the difference between your skin and mine."

He leads the way into the bathroom, and I notice he's lit more than a dozen candles and filled the tub to almost overflowing with lilac scented bubbles. The soft glow of the candles is warm and inviting, and the fragrant steam instantly begins to dispel the chill.

I turn and embrace Edward again, genuinely touched by his thoughtfulness. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

He actually looks surprised and slightly taken aback by my comment, and I laugh at his expression and press a kiss to his mouth.

Smiling gently, he strokes my cheek softly with his fingertips. "I think the proper question is, what did _I_ ever do to deserve _you_."

He takes the kiss I meant to be nothing more than a quick peck and turns it into much, much more. Pressing me closer, his mouth moves over mine, his tongue dancing along the seam of my lips until I see stars and forget all about baths and breathing.

When he finally breaks away, its all I can do to stay on my feet. Groaning quietly, he says my name, and I'm elated to hear the unsteady rhythm of his unnecessary breathing.

"Turn around, love," he whispers in my ear.

I do as he asks, trembling slightly, though not from the cold. A sudden attack of self conscious nerves hits me, but I push them down, determined.

Carefully he slips the blouse from my shoulders and tosses it to the corner. I watch the material hit the floor as his hands slide over my arms. Slowly he moves them up until they reach my shoulders, and his fingers drift under the straps of my bra. I've only just recovered the ability to breathe, and I can already tell it won't last. With incredible gentleness, he pulls the straps down, caressing my flesh with a touch so light it's barely there.

He presses a kiss against each shoulder, sweeps my hair to the side and glides his lips over the nape of my neck sending tingles of awareness dancing over my skin. His cool breath makes the goosebumps worse, but I don't care, I just want more.

I must have said so out loud without meaning to because he laughs quietly. "You are a greedy little thing tonight, aren't you?"

I can't answer, I'm too lost in the feeling of his fingers moving over my back and skimming beneath the clasp of my bra. Suddenly the material lets go, though I felt nothing - no tugging, no twisting of the material that usually happens whenever I release the clasp myself. Once again he takes hold of the straps and slips them down and off my arms. It joins my blouse on the floor.

My nipples are hard from cold and tension and they seem to ache from within, heavier and more there somehow. I want him to touch me so badly it's all I can do not to beg. As it is a small whimper ripe with my emotions escapes my throat, and I bite my lip in a vain effort to contain it.

He continues to caress the flesh on my neck and shoulders with his mouth, then suddenly he's moving lower. The cool moist touch of his lips traces the bumps of each individual vertebrae on my spine, and any attempt to maintain my composure seems to go up in smoke.

"Edward." It's only his name, yet even to my ears the plea is obvious in the sudden husky quality of my voice. I'd be embarrassed if there were anything left of my brain.

Tendrils of heat spiral over my belly and lower, creating a soft wet heat directly between my trembling legs. My panties start to feel damp.

He makes a sound like a growl, and I wonder if he can smell me. Some small amount of embarrassment finally penetrates the fog of my thoughts. Cold hands cradle my hips as his mouth reaches the small of my back, and his fingers hook into the waist band of the final scrap of material left on me. Slowly, he drags the material down my legs until they reach my ankles.

"Step, Bella," he whispers, and his voice is the voice from my fantasies. Husky, edged with something dark and dangerous, and it takes every ounce of willpower I have not to turn around.

His hands move back up my body until he is once again standing behind me. Taking hold of my wrist he encourages me to step up, and with my back still to him, I sink into the tub. There are enough bubbles to cover me up to my chin and the warm water feels so heavenly I moan. The cold that has been making me ache melts away deliciously.

Edward moves to sit on the edge of the tub, and with eyes as dark as midnight he leans down and kisses me. I study his eyes when he pulls away trying to remember when was the last time he left me to hunt.

"Your eyes are so dark," I whisper. "Are you thirsty?"

His grin is devilish. "Only for you, love."

His words send spirals of heat through my body as the dual meaning registers. Still, I roll my eyes and use the toes of my right foot to flick water at him.

"Will you wash my back for me?" I lean forward in the tub and rest my head on my knees, being careful to conceal my overeager expression. The thought of Edward's hands on the bare skin of my back is suddenly unspeakably erotic.

He hesitates for a moment before I feel him move. Turning my head, I watch him pour a generous amount of body wash into his palm. He eyes the washcloth but thankfully ignores it, working the soap into a lather before placing his hands on my back.

His touch is cold especially in contrast to the warm water, but my reaction has nothing to do with the temperature. Every nerve ending in my entire body comes alive, and I can't help but let out a small, moaning sigh of utter pleasure.

He doesn't rush. Slowly he works his way from the back of my neck to my shoulders. Then lower, to the sharper bones of my shoulder blades before dipping beneath each one. Lower still across my mid-back, down the dips of my ribcage, allowing his slippery hands to curl just briefly against the sides of my body. Breathing is difficult.

Lower, once again tracing my spine, lower still, pressing his fingers just a tiny bit harder against the small curve of my lower back. His long pianist fingers just barely graze the cleft of my ass but it's enough to make me almost pant. Slowly, and with aching precision, he massages his way back up, his fingers a little braver now as he moves farther inwards toward the sides of my body. When his hands brush against the outside curves of my breasts, I give up breathing all together.

He lingers there as though he can't quite bring himself to move, and I find myself mentally willing him with all my might to just move his fingers a little further in…

Of course the second I really don't think I can stand not to beg, he moves his hands, sliding them back down and cupping handfuls of water to rinse the suds from my skin. I let the breath I've been holding out with a loud, shaky sigh.

"Bella, I swear you'll be the death of me." His voice is tight, still drawn with that husky edge that makes me ache. I can't help smiling, though I hide it in the inner curve of my elbow. He's just touched me in ways he's never allowed before, so his exasperation with me is a small price to pay.

"I'm pretty sure that between the two of us, I'm the more likely one to expire," I tell him. I'm tingling in every secret place I have and don't bother to keep the frustration out of my voice. He's right. I'm greedy tonight.

His laugh is rough, slightly shaken. "Touché."

I lean back again and look at him. I've completely forgotten about my hands. Luckily, he catches them just before I lower my arms into the water.

"Careful. Carlisle will not be pleased if you get these burns wet." His eyes are still dark, smoldering actually as he places soft, cool kisses against the exposed tips of my fingers.

I watch him, wondering if my eyes are anywhere near as dark as his. I bite my lip, and he groans, releasing my hands and swooping down to catch my mouth with his. His tongue licks lightly against the place I was just biting, making me whimper. I want so badly to deepen the kiss, but he pulls away before I can.

I watch him master his expression, smoothing it out into something even and placid.

"Can I get you anything, Bella? A drink perhaps?"

I study him carefully, and I'm disappointed but not surprised to see him emotionally retreating from me again. Desperate to keep him from leaving the room, I shake my head.

"No, I'm fine, but could you maybe help me wash my hair?" I hold my hands up again in silent reminder and smile, once again trying for innocence. It's a miserable failure, and I know it. No one as aroused as I am right now can look at all innocent.

Surprisingly he doesn't hesitate. Instead, he seems oddly pleased by me request. He instantly reaches for the strawberry scented shampoo he bought solely for my use whenever I came over, and starts the water again.

He adjusts the temperature, requests my foot for checking purposes, and when I nod that the water is neither too cold nor too hot, he gets to work, still with that oddly eager look on his face.

"Scoot forward just a bit, love, and tilt your head back."

I draw my knees back up and lean forward again, only this time I tip my head back. His touch is exquisitely light as he saturates each section of my head in water before working in the shampoo. The feeling is beyond lovely, and my body begins to relax.

"Ummm, that feels so nice, Edward."

He catches his breath slightly, and his hands falter for just the tiniest of seconds conveying a wealth of information. He likes that, my moaning, my telling him it feels good.

Hmm, interesting.

He sighs, his fingers once again resuming the task. "This is nice, Bella. You so rarely allow me to pamper you the way I want to."

His comment surprises me. I feel like he's always doing things to pamper me, and I tell him so.

He laughs. "Hardly, Bella. You are the most frighteningly independent creature I have ever met."

I sigh, deciding I don't want to argue, and tilt my head back farther as he rinses away the shampoo and starts on the conditioner. He works it in gently, moving from the scalp down, careful not to tangle the strands together. I can't stop from making a little moaning sound of pure pleasure, though this time I pay closer attention to his reaction.

"Ummm, oh, that's nice." I let my voice turn lower, purposely allowing the heat I feel to reflect in my tone. Huskier still, "God, Edward you have the most amazing hands, that feels so good."

He falters, again.

Oh, yes, I've definitely stumbled onto something here.

He clears his throat, something no vampire ever needs to do, and I have to bite my lip to keep from grinning triumphantly.

He hits the switch on the hand held shower to turn it back on, and rinses my hair a little faster and rougher than necessary. When he's done, he wraps the wet mass of strands around his wrist to ring out the excess water, before tugging my head back even farther with a sharp tug. He growl-hisses, a sound that instantly has my eyes popping open in surprise. His face is only inches from mine, and I watch as his eyes seem to rake over my chest before coming up to meet mine. The look on his face is positively lethal and starved, and my body instantly begins to melt as hot spirals of pure want erupt out of nowhere.

"You are much too alluring and desirable for your own good, Isabella Swan." Then his mouth is all over mine in a kiss so sinfully hot my heart skips several beats before slamming in my chest with reckless speed and force.

He pulls away just as quickly, and before I can gather my wits around me, he's moving away. "Remember, love, don't get your hands wet," he reminds, and then the door clicks quietly closed, and I am alone.

. . . . . .

* * *

A/N I think Edward needs a little space to...well, do whatever it is vampires do to cool off. ;) I'd say Bella has definitely '_defrosted_' him a little though, wouldn't you?


	3. Now We're Cooking

A/N Back for more? Awesome! You have no idea how happy that makes me. :)

Time to crank up the heat under our reluctant vampire, don't you think?

* * *

**Defrosting Edward**

**~~xx~~**

Chapter 3

Now We're Cooking

. . . . . .

With a frustrated sigh, I sink back and rest my head against the cool tiles. Really, how much is one girl expected to take? Damn infuriating vampire! One minute he's enjoying what he calls 'pampering me', and the next he's pulling one of his - _Bella's not behaving so I need to leave_ - routines. Okay, so to be honest and fair, I was pushing him a little hard, what with the whole moaning thing. But really, it did feel amazing and what girl doesn't use a little persuasion to get what she wants? My new found revelation was somewhat intoxicating after all, but was that really what set him off and made him run for the hills?

I run the last few minutes over in my mind. The feel of his hands in my hair, the intensity in his eyes, the way his gaze seemed to rake over my chest…Wait, my chest?

I glance down nervously and then groan, completely mortified. My once impervious covering of bubbles has disintegrated into nothing more than a very transparent film of foam. For a minute the full weight of my embarrassment has my entire face flaming, and I make the mistake of pressing my bandaged hands against my cheeks. Not a good idea seeing as how even a little extra heat makes them throb and burn like they've been doused in flesh eating acid. Now they really hurt, and Mister, 'I can't handle seeing my fiancé's boobs,' has left me all alone. Damn it. Well I'm not having it; this day has been bad enough without adding this to the mix. He can damn well get his gorgeous butt back in here and get me out of this damn tub!

With a huff, I call his name, much, much louder than is even remotely necessary. Stupid vampire super hearing. I hope it hurts his damn ears. "Edward!" No answer which is absurd, everyone in this house heard me so unless he really ran away? Oh, he so better not have.

"Fine, forget it, I'll get out myself." I place my hands gingerly on the side of the tub and instantly regret it. "Have it your way, Mr. Stubborn. I'll probably fall and break my neck but whatever. At least you won't have to see me naked!" I close my eyes just for a second, trying to think rationally on how to manage this without making my threat of a broken neck a reality. When I open them, determined to try again, Edward is there, standing at the side of the tub holding out a towel. He's studying my face intently, and I can't tell if he looks amused or exasperated. Possibly a combination of both?

"I'm right here, Bella. You didn't need to yell, love."

I glare at him in reproach, and he unfolds the towel, holding it like a screen so that when I stand up I'll have some privacy. Except the entire problem here is I...can't…stand…up!

"Edward, a little help here, please. I mean, I know I'm completely insulting your medieval standards of morality, but…" I don't have time to finish the sentence before he's reaching down and lifting me out. He stands me on my feet before him, and I'm more than a little disconcerted to find that he's already covered me with the towel.

He tucks it closed behind my back, his eyes glaring. "Medieval standards of morality? Did it ever occur to you that I was merely trying to be respectful?"

I glare back for a second, snort in disbelief, and turn around, attempting to make a dignified retreat. I stalk to the bed to stare at the clothes Alice has left for me, groaning at what she chose. "Oh, for the love of…I am _not_ wearing that!" I glare at Edward, daring him to challenge me.

He looks at the tight blue sheathe dress and sighs. "Alice," he mutters and shakes his head. "Okay, I'll go see if she has something more appropriate."

"No."

"No?" He looks confused and slightly worried by my current mood, which he should be. My hands are throbbing worse than ever, and so is my temper. Alice, seer-of-all, had to have known how things were going to work out, didn't she? I mean if this is her idea of helping, it's ridiculous. All I've gotten for my troubles today is a broken truck, painfully burned fingers, and a very aroused body with no relief in sight. It's going to be a very long night.

"That's right, _no_. Just get me my clothes; I want to go home."

He sighs and adopts a tone obviously meant to soothe and charm rabid animals. "Bella, love, I've put your things in the wash. They were wet and muddy, remember?" He seems to want me to reply, but I just keep glaring. He continues, still trying to soothe. "Besides, Carlisle wants to check your hands every few hours and reapply the salve." I'm still glaring. "So he's already called Charlie and explained everything, and you'll be spending the night here." He finishes this last part overly fast and looks like he wants to take a step back. Is it wrong, I wonder, to be a tad bit amused that my immortal, super-strong vampire fiancé is afraid of me?

Slowly, I allow his words to sink in. The fact that I will be spending the night here, alone with Edward, is doing quite a bit to improve my mood. He's watching me, looking almost nervous, and I have to fight the urge to laugh. Maybe things aren't as awful as I thought, and maybe, just maybe, Alice saw this coming. An entire night of Edward having to look after me has some distinct possibilities.

My mood is improving by the second.

He relaxes as he sees that I'm not going to bite his head off. "So I'll just go and find something…"

"Give me your shirt."

"What?" He looks down at himself and arches an eyebrow, totally confused.

"Give...me...your...shirt," I repeat slowly and emphatically. He still looks confused and it's honestly a little entertaining to for once be the one making his head spin. "Edward, if I'm spending the night I'll need something to wear to sleep in, right? So just give me your shirt."

"Oh."

_Yes, oh_.

"I can get you a shirt to sleep in, Bella. I have lots you know." He's smiling slightly now, and I wonder if he's on to me again.

I decide not to bother being coy. "Not one that you've already worn. Not one that smells like you."

His look is priceless. Shock and something else that flashes over his eyes, something heated and wanting. He hesitates for only a moment, then without taking his eyes off mine, he takes the shirt off. The mood in the room changes dramatically, and I forget all about the pain I'm in.

Slowly, he slips the fabric up my arms, doing up each button with exaggerated care, starting at the bottom and working his way all the way to the very top. Then he reaches beneath it and tugs away the towel. Tossing it aside, he steps close and cups my burning face in his cool hands. "Dangerous, positively dangerous," he mutters before kissing me in a way that makes my heart stutter.

Again it's over much too fast. He takes a step back, his eyes dark and intent. "I should get you something to eat."

Yet another diversionary tactic, but I'm not going to give him another out. "No thanks, I'm not hungry, at least not _that_ kind of hungry."

He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose in a classic - Edward is striving for patience - pose. I hold my ground; he's not the only one who's impatient.

"Bella."

"Edward."

He sighs loudly; so do I.

"Fine," I snap. "At least help me brush my hair before it dries." I'm half expecting him to bolt, but luckily he doesn't. He grabs a brush and moves behind me combing through my hair with a quick efficiency that lacks his earlier attentions. I know he is trying to disabuse me of whatever notions I might have in further seduction, but that only makes me want to try harder. I'm getting to him, I can tell.

When he's done, I go to the bed and kneel in the center, tucking my heels beneath my bottom. "You did up way too many buttons on this shirt, Edward. It isn't at all comfortable." He closes his eyes again. Risking his wrath, and my own pain, I manage to undo one of the buttons before his eyes snap back open. With a low hiss he moves onto the bed and kneels beside me. Brushing my bandaged hands away, he quickly loosens two more. Close Edward, I think to myself, but no cigar.

"Better?" he asks gruffly.

"No."

He exhales loudly. "Bella, you are playing with fire. You are going to get burned."

I match his loud sigh and hold my fingers up, wiggling them. "I already did that, remember?"

"Why are you doing this?"

I decide to stop the useless attempts at seducing him and opt for the truth. "Because I trust you, Edward, but I need you to trust yourself. And I really need to know that you want me too." I look down at my bandaged hands, wondering why this has to be so hard. I understand his fears, I really do, but it's like he's hiding behind them. Does he really even truly want me? "Edward, I just…"

Gently, he places his fingers beneath my chin and tilts my head up, forcing me to meet his stare. His eyes are still dark, but his expression is softer now. "Bella, you just what?" His voice is gentle, almost pleading, and I remember how frustrated he can get at not being able to read my mind.

"I just need you; is that really so hard to understand?" His expression seems to go blank for a minute and then I see it, a tiny crack in his defences. I rise to my knees and slide my arms around his neck. "I _need_ you, Edward," I tell him again, putting all my desires behind the word.

With a very deep and very loud growl, he rises onto his knees as well. His hands slide down my back and over my bottom, latching onto my thighs. Suddenly, in one quick move, I find myself on my back beneath him. My legs are splayed, and our hips are cradled together, and I'm instantly on fire.

"Ground rules, Bella?" His voice is pure heat, a husky tone that makes me tremble. I have no idea what he's talking about.

"Ground rules?"

"Yes, I need to know what you're after here, love. Everything?"

He isn't ready for that, I can tell. Neither am I. "No, not everything, just something, anything, God, Edward, please." I'm already panting, and he's hardly even touched me, but I push aside my embarrassment. This isn't the time to be shy. It hurts, but I grab his hair and pull him down and kiss him, trying to convey my desire, my need.

Catching my wrists, he tugs them away and places them beside my head on the pillow. "Careful, you're going to hurt your hands."

I'm not the only one having trouble with breathing, "I don't care!" And it's true, nothing else matters right now including that.

"Bella," his eyes bore into mine, a definite warning tone to his voice. "I'm willing to give you what you want, what we _both_ want, but you have to do as I say."

I nod, willing to do just about anything as long as he just doesn't stop.

"Let me lead, and for God's sake if you value my sanity do not move your hands from this pillow. Do you understand?"

I manage another nod, though it comes with a whimper. He barely waits for my answer before his mouth is on mine and he's kissing me. I can practically taste all the pent up frustration and need he's been repressing, and it makes me moan.

Moving back onto his knees again, he stares down at me and traces a cool lazy pattern over my thighs, higher and higher. Then with a deep groan that sounds like a curse, he bunches the material of the shirt in his fists and wrenches it open. I hear the fabric tear and see the buttons explode away only a millisecond before I feel cool air touch my bare skin. I have a knee-jerk reaction to cover myself, worried I won't be enough. It disappears when I see the obvious approval and lust in his eyes.

"My God, Bella, the word beautiful doesn't do you justice." He makes a very male sound of pleasure and runs his hands from the tops of my thighs to my neck. Somehow he manages to not touch any part of me that is currently begging for attention, and I arch my back, desperate for contact. The move presses a very tender and sensitive part of my anatomy against the rough denim of his jean clad thigh, and an electric shock seems to pulse through my body.

Edward places one hand directly between my breasts, and I know he's listening and feeling my heart beat. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?" His voice is a whisper, hoarse with his emotions.

"Show me," my voice matches the intensity of his.

Slowly his hands cover my breast, caressing the curves and running his fingers over my nipples. More electric bolts of sensation, and I arch up again. It feels so good I can hardly stand it.

"So perfect," he whispers, and that's the last coherent thing he says for a long time.

His hands are suddenly everywhere, as though he can't get enough of the feel of my body. Over and over again he touches me until I'm writhing beneath him, on fire. Then his mouth is replacing his hands, moving down my neck and over my chest. Moist cool kisses over my collarbone, between my breasts, and then finally over them. The touch of his tongue against the tip of my nipple makes me cry out loudly. I'd be embarrassed by the sound if I could think straight. Heat coils hotter and hotter down between my legs, and I press harder against him, trying to ease the ache. One hand balances his weight while the other caresses my hip, my side, my bottom.

The friction of denim becomes too much and not enough all at once. Somehow I manage to say the words 'jeans' and 'hurt,' though I doubt it was highly intelligible. He understands instantly, and his hand slides between us, cupping me almost protectively while pulling his lower body away slightly.

Slowly, he moves back to his knees until once again he's looking down on me. I can feel myself blush as I wonder what I must look like to him right now. His hand feels cold against my heat, and the fact that I am soaking wet makes me blush harder. I bite my lip and try and twist away as a feeling of vulnerability makes its way through the fog of my overheated brain.

Edward hisses, and his free hand grips my hip tight enough to stop my movement in its tracks. His fingers move over me, and stars explode behind my tightly closed eyelids.

"Open your eyes, Bella, and look at me, love," he demands. He stops moving his hand until I do as he asks. "Do you know what it means to me to feel you this way, sweetheart?" I turn my head, blushing even harder, and he laughs softly. "This," he groans, dipping his finger inside my body, stretching the tender flesh and causing the most exquisite sensations. "This drives me insane," he draws the wetness up and circles my clit, pressing slightly harder with each pass. "So wet, so warm for me…" I watch as his free hand opens his jeans and slides inside. I can see his hand moving, and I know what he's doing. It makes me impossibly hotter. I can barely breathe. I want so badly to see him, to touch him as well, but the building pleasure makes me mute, and I don't dare move my hands.

His eyes are locked on the hand that caresses me, and I moan loudly, beginning to tremble as he caresses over my clit with fast little strokes. His eyes dart to my face, and whatever he sees there makes him groan, makes the hand inside his jeans move faster as well. "Does this feel good, love?"

"God yes, unghhh, Edward, don't stop, please, don't stop."

"Tell me, Bella; tell me if it feels good, love."

"So good, it feels so good, Edward, don't stop…"

The pressure is unbearable. When it suddenly snaps, I open my mouth to scream as waves and waves of pure bliss wash over me. Edward's mouth covers my cry, swallowing it whole, muffling it.

"Yes," he growls against my lips, his tongue sliding into my mouth. His breath, cool and sweet, intensifies everything I'm feeling until it's like I'm going to splinter and fracture and fall apart completely. As it slowly ebbs, I'm left stunned and shaking. I can't imagine anything better, then Edward is groaning loudly in staccato rhythm, and I can feel him jerk against me as he reaches his own release, and that's better, so much better.

Panting, still murmuring his name my body goes limp as my bones turn the consistency of water. My hands come off the pillow and wrap around his back, needing to hold him, needing to be held. I feel a smile of pure triumph building and a giggle slips past my lips.

Edward lifts his head and looks down at me with a small smile of his own. "What is so funny may I ask?"

"Hmm, I was just thinking."

"About?"

"About the fact that I am remarkably unscathed for a fragile human."

He rolls his eyes at my mocking, and then rolls our bodies until I lay atop his. "Yes, well, let's try to keep it that way shall we?" He cups my head and begins pressing kisses to my jaw and neck. I can't help but moan and press my hips down against his.

"Insatiable little witch," he growls against my skin with a slight chuckle, pressing back up against me.

I press down even harder, letting him know I can feel him in all his still-aroused glory. "I'm not the only insatiable one, apparently." I slide my mouth against his teasingly, and he groans and caresses my back.

"Mmm, well, yes, but I think we'll need to hold onto that thought for a minute." He brushes my hair back behind my ears.

"Why?" I can't help but pout and look at him warily. He better not be thinking about closing this now wide open door.

"Because, love, Carlisle is getting a bit anxious to check your hands again. I'm afraid he's a little concerned that our current activities might be causing some, uh, irritation." He's fighting not to laugh at the look on my face.

Mortified, I push my burning cheek against his chest and groan. "Oh, God."

He laughs harder. "Not helping, Bella. Now he thinks we're at it again, he's debating whether or not to interrupt."

I try and wiggle away, but he won't let me. I bury my face in his neck and mutter, "Stupid vampire super hearing."

"Yes, quite, but um, not really necessary, love. We weren't exactly quiet," he laughs harder and rolls me beneath him once again. "Especially not you."

I huff and roll my eyes at his expression. "Proud of yourself, aren't you."

Slowly, he lowers his mouth to mine, and the look on his face makes my embarrassment disappear completely. Pausing just before contact, he smiles with that lethal smirk. "Yes, I am, but that doesn't mean that there isn't room for improvement. You know what they say after all. Practice makes perfect."

. . . . . .

* * *

A/N So, I'd say Edward is well and truly 'defrosted,' wouldn't you?

Read on if you'd like to crawl up inside Edward's head and experience his thoughts and feelings during the thawing process. ;)


	4. Smoldering

A/N Hi! Ready to see what was going through Edward's mind?

Good.

Read on, dear reader.

Aleea

* * *

**Defrosting Edward**

**~~xx~~**

* * *

Chapter 4

Smoldering

Epov

. . . . . .

Alice is reciting nursery rhymes. She started with Hickory Dickory Dock, and now she's well into an overly enthusiastic rendition of Humpty Dumpty.

I frown at her as I lift my fingers from the piano, the last few chords of the melody still hanging in the air. Until just now, I've been too concerned with the notes in my head to really pay attention to the thoughts in hers. Now that I am, I can't help but wonder what she's trying to hide.

"Alice?"

"Yes, Edward?" A_nd all the kings' horses and all the kings_… "Oh, Bella's here."

She skips to her feet and races to the door, and my frown deepens. Bella _is_ here, I realize. I was completely engrossed in my music, but a small part of my brain had still registered her approach. Now that I'm really paying attention though, several other things become clear as well, and I begin to curse my preoccupation.

Listening intently, I realize that even as involved in my current composition as I was I should never have missed the familiar and grating sounds of her ancient truck. That I registered no such noise means she's arrived on foot. Alarm bells belatedly begin to ring in my mind, and it occurs to me that I've gotten much too complacent with her safety lately.

"Oh, Bella, you're soaked, get in here. What happened?" Alice's comments are overly dramatic, oozing with falsity, but I don't need them to enlighten me to the fact that Bella is drenched. Her normally intoxicating scent is positively drowning in rainwater.

I arrive at her side in less than a second, just in time to witness Alice tugging Bella none to gently into the house. She attempts to dig in her heels, but Alice only pulls harder.

"Wait, Alice stop, I'm dripping everywhere; Esme is going to kill me if I ruin her floors."

Concern makes me short tempered, and I chastise them both. "Don't be ridiculous, Bella. Alice, stop pulling on her and go get towels." I refrain just barely from bodily removing Alice's hands. Bella would be horrified at such an action, though not half as horrified as I am at the red marks Alice's fingers leave on her ivory skin.

Returning with towels, and a new more annoying set of nursery rhymes, Alice sets to work vigorously. I growl a warning low enough that Bella cannot hear it, and Alice switches her recital from English to Swahili. She's definitely keeping me out. If I wasn't so concerned with the thought that Bella could catch pneumonia, I'd jolt her out of her concentration and try and figure out why.

Admonishing Bella gently gives me little in the way of information about what happened, though she does tell me her truck died. On any other day this may have been good news, practically cause for celebration, but today it's not. I curse myself mentally for allowing her to drive herself here. I knew the truck was on its last legs; my actions are unforgivable.

Bella's teeth are chattering, and she looks very annoyed. There is also something about her scent that is slightly off. If she didn't just come in from the current torrential downpour outside I'd almost swear she was near fire. Her muscles are trembling, not just with cold but with a reaction I would most likely associate with shock or pain. Her hands are curled in towards her body in a protective way, and my level of concern rockets upward.

"Carlisle?"

As soon as I call his name Bella turns her adorable scowl from Alice to me, and if I wasn't worried before I definitely would be now. She is twice as pale as normal and her blue with cold lips are definitely pinched in discomfort.

"Edward, I'm fine. You don't need to bother…" She sighs heavily with irritation and turns her scowl onto Carlisle as he appears at my side asking me if she's okay. Not bothering to hide her anger from him is very unlike her, and his thoughts confirm my suspicions.

Carlisle's temporary amusement at her appearance quickly dissipates into concern. _She's hurt, Edward. Burns?_ His thoughts confirm my senses, and I feel almost sick.

"I'm fine Carlisle; Edward is just being…Edward." Her scowl once again falls on me, though I barely notice as Carlisle's latest thoughts cement our suspicions.

_Ah, yes, definitely burns. _"Let me see those fingers, Bella." His voice and thoughts are calm, mine are anything but.

Not bothering to wait for her to comply with Carlisle's request, I capture her hands myself, horrified by what I see. Her small delicate palms and fingers are covered in raw red skin and already inflamed blisters. "Bella, what in the name of God have you been doing to yourself?"

Alice's nursery rhyme mind tangent slips just enough for me to see a sickening image of Bella grabbing hold of a steaming hot radiator hose. Not once, but twice. The image mercifully disappears as Alice begins reciting the Declaration of Independence in Russian. I somehow manage to pass Bella's hands to Carlisle, furious with myself for failing to protect her.

Needing to do something, I drop to my knees and wrap towels around Bella's legs. My mind spins through burn first aid while I try to ease some of her chill. I glance up only once to see Bella looking down at me with an indecipherable expression. Her heartbeat picks up, and I study her face feeling alarmed and helpless until she breaks my gaze and turns her attention back to Carlisle. If I didn't know better, I'd almost swear her expression was a familiar one.

I listen as Carlisle outlines the care she needs. I'm not surprised when Bella tries to sway him on his treatment plan. It's all I can do not to interfere. Standing, I instantly sweep her off her feet. Determined to speed up the process despite her obvious reluctance, I ignore her protests and carry her at lightening pace to Carlisle's office.

Placing her on her feet, she suddenly shivers violently causing me to inanely state the obvious. "You're freezing."

She looks like she wants to roll her eyes at me.

"Edward, why don't you go see if Alice has something for Bella to wear." _I've got her, Edward. Go, she'll be fine_.

Carlisle begins to clean her hands, and she makes a small hissing sound of pain. She instantly looks at me when I groan in reaction, her expression almost apologetic. It's almost as though her physical pain is inconsequential in the face of my emotional discomfort. I manage to place a small kiss on her cheek and slip away, needing to do something more constructive than heaping guilt on the woman I love. If anyone should be feeling guilty it's me, and though I do, I'm not the only one who should be feeling such an emotion.

I don't bother to knock on Alice's door. Jasper's thoughts are as clear to me as my own and I can both hear and feel him warning me to stay calm. He stands just inside the room, almost but not quite blocking my path to Alice. I ignore him completely. Alice has left the Declaration of Independence behind and is now blocking me with a twice as annoying rendition of Michael Jackson lyrics.

_It doesn't matter who's wrong or right, just beat it, just beat it. Wooh_. _No one wants to be defeated_…

"Very funny, Alice."

She sighs but doesn't relent.

"Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?"

"No, and before you go all ballistic on me, Edward, I'm only doing what you asked me to do."

Gritting my teeth, I turn my glare on Jasper as waves of enforced calm begin to surround me. His face holds a warning, and I roll my eyes at him. _You know how sensitive she can be, Edward. Watch what you say. She loves Bella, and you know that_.

Sighing, I pinch the top of my nose in frustration, knowing he's right yet finding no real comfort in the fact. "Do you want to tell me what you mean by that, Alice?"

"I _mean_ you've forbidden me from looking at visions that have anything to do with your sex life, or have you forgotten?"

I stare at her, completely stunned. "What the hell could any of this have to do with my sex life?"

_Or lack thereof_.

I give Jasper a withering look, and he shrugs apologetically.

"If I told you that, it would mean I'd have to look. Do you want me to do that?"

"No, I do not." Groaning, I close my eyes and sigh in defeat as Jasper batters me with more calm. "Alice, she's hurt! Did you not see her hands?" I can't keep the pain from my affecting my voice. When I open my eyes again, Alice's expression matches my emotion.

"I know," she laments softly. "I'm sorry for that. You can't imagine what it felt like watching her reach under that hood. She made a split second decision. There wasn't time to do anything about it."

"Why didn't she call me?" The question isn't really meant for him but Jasper snorts in derision nonetheless.

"Jesus, Edward. You bought her one of the most advanced and complex cell phones available. The damn thing hasn't even hit the market yet."

I ignore him, hating that he's right. Satellite capabilities seemed like a good idea at the time.

"Listen, Alice, I am formerly amending my last request, okay? From now on you have my permission to look at my future sex life if it pertains to Bella's safety." Which of course it did, in every facet, so I just effectively gave Alice permission to play constant voyeur. I can't think right now of a way to amend my statement without leaving loopholes in the matter that could adversely affect Bella's health.

Hearing another soft exclamation of pain coming from Carlisle's office has me quickly leaving Alice to her Michael Jackson obsession. She's just begun Thriller, and she couldn't have picked a better choice to shut me out.

Back at Bella's side, I'm alarmed to see she is even paler now. My heart breaks for her. I can't help thinking about all the ways this could have been avoided as I gently press her face against my shoulder. I watch Carlisle's sure, quick hands wrap hers and feel a sudden overwhelming gratitude to him as he quietly reassures me with his thoughts.

_She'll be fine; the burns are relatively minor, though most likely very painful_. I wince internally. He wants to give her something more for pain, and I can see his mind spinning through possibilities. Knowing Bella as I do, I doubt she'll take anything anyway. In the end he decides to see if the anesthetic in the cream works before looking for other measures. I nod my thanks, knowing he'll understand, and guide Bella from the room. My only priority right now is getting her dry and warm.

As we enter the hallway we almost crash into Emmett who is, as usual, barreling full tilt down the hall forcing me to literally steer Bella away from him. Of course he takes the opportunity to tease her, making a sarcastic remark about cats and swimming pools, though I give him a dirty look in warning. When Bella doesn't rise to his teasing with anything more than a muttered shut up, he raises the bar.

"Hey, Bella, nice boobies."

His crassness never ceases to amaze me. Without hesitation, I spin around, leap across the distance between us, and take him down hard. The impact carries us out of the hall, back through his bedroom door, and more than halfway across the room. I feel some item of furniture shatter under our combined weight while I easily avoid his left hook and land a right of my own directly in the center of his stomach.

"Aww, damn it, Edward. Rosalie's gonna kill me. She freakin loves that chair." Emmett looks more afraid of what Rosalie will do than of me.

If not for the fact that my main concern is still standing where I've left her, I'd continue to pummel him. My frustrations need an outlet and his body is the perfect vehicle for such a venture. Unfortunately, it will need to wait for another time. I growl a low but fierce warning, one that he can hear but Bella can't. "You will apologize to her for that, you ass. Oh, and Emmett, your apology better be authentic, got it?"

Standing up he grins. "Don't be so sensitive, Edward. I was only giving her a compliment. She does have nice ones. A little small for my tastes maybe, but you know what they say, more than a handful is a…"

I'm already heading out the door as he says this. When I turn around thinking I can spare a few more seconds, Emmett vanishes out the window with a laugh. I can hear his thoughts as he races around the house headed for the garage.

_I'm going with Jasper to rescue her rust bucket of a truck, man, so no worries. You go get your girlfriend out of those wet clothes and warm her up! Oh, and if you need any advice, you know, step by step instructions, I've got my cell."_ His laughter is loud.

In my mind, I'm already planning some creative, painful ways to make him pay for this later.

I find Bella where I left her, one delicate brow arched in question. I ignore it and guide her into my room.

"Alice left you some clothes there." I gesture to the bed. She ignores me, her eyes flaring in anger as her arms come up to wrap around her chest in an attempt to cover herself up.

"You could have told me," she accuses hotly. "Oh, my God, Edward! I stood in front of Carlisle like this!" Her cheeks blaze instantly in pink and my venom lets down in a familiar rush.

I swallow, very use to the sensation, and fight not to smile, though I do feel a bit bad. The truth of the matter is that it was the least of my concerns, and I tell her so. What I don't tell her, however, is how much I've struggled to keep my eyes in their proper place. With the near transparency of her clothing, and her body's natural reaction to the cold, it's a struggle I haven't really been winning. Thankfully she hasn't noticed. I attempt to soothe her by pointing out that Emmett's comment exaggerated reality, but she's having none of it. I try instead to reason with her another way.

"Love, you need to get changed before you catch your death." A very violent shiver wracks her tiny frame, and I hate that my cold body can be no comfort to her. The feeling is painfully reminiscent of the night before Victoria and her brood of newborns made their ill-fated attempt to exact revenge. This time Jacob is thankfully not present. This day has held enough angst for me without his adolescent gloating and space heater abilities being once again flaunted in my face.

When Bella reaches for the clothes, I realize my instructions are not going to be something she can carry out on her own. With her hands swaddled in gauze and still obviously painful, she isn't going to be able to do much of anything for the foreseeable future. I see the same realization arrive in her mind as well.

"Uh, why don't I get Alice. She can help you." The instant the words are out of my mouth an odd expression crosses Bella's face. It's there and gone too fast for me to decipher. At the same time, my mind registers that there are no longer annoying pop lyrics running through my head. Alice has left the house, probably with Jasper and Emmett. Bella points that out as well. Again I'm not sure of her expression, but I'm beginning to smell a set up. Alice's cryptic comments about my sex life are beginning to make sense. Especially when I remember that Rosalie and Esme are also inconveniently gone, meaning that other than Carlisle, the house is suspiciously empty.

Bella shivers again. "Could you maybe..."

Our predicament might be almost amusing. _Might_ be, if the sexual tension between us wasn't already at its all time high in the last few weeks. Ever since she agreed to marry me, and I agreed to _try_ and grant her wish for one last human experience, things in that area are impossibly difficult. We both agreed to wait for our wedding night to make love for the first time, but we also agreed to work at increasing our intimacy with one another. At the time, I was certain my self control was up to the task, but Bella has been tearing down every wall I put up lately. And right now she's carrying a king size sledgehammer. The meaning of her previous and current expressions finally dawn on me. She's striving to look innocent, but I'm cluing in. My beautifully tempting girl cannot resist any opportunity to push my limits, and fate has handed her quite the opportunity.

I feel like I should stop this, but I can't prevent myself from contemplating doing as she asks anymore than I can keep my gaze from falling down to her breasts. Besides, she does need help, and I am apparently the only one here who can provide it. It doesn't help that she's impossibly alluring and the idea of caring for her is impossibly appealing in so many ways, not the least of which is one born of pure lust for the female I love and adore. I strive not to show it, but if she knew even one quarter of how incredibly aroused she makes me with even the most innocent of movements, all would be lost.

I see that secret look fleetingly cross her face again, and I know she's reading my expressions just as easily. She may not know the extent of her powers, but she isn't oblivious to their existence. Hiding my desire for her has become a physical impossibility as of late.

"Or I suppose you could just get me a blanket, I guess I can air dry."

My integrity goes to war with my failing will power and it takes everything I have not to take her in my arms and end this increasingly painful denial. I want her with a desire bordering on madness. Somehow I reign in my need and watch as her expression falls. She's taking my lack of a reply to her ridiculous comment about 'air-drying' to mean I'm about to refuse her.

"Never mind." Bella turns away looking hurt, her hands rising to tug at her clothes. I hear the small hiss of pain she makes and it galvanizes me into action.

I'm moving before she can take more than a step away, turning her back to me. "Come here, Bella."

Instead of looking triumphant as I expected, she instead looks even more dejected and oddly resolved. Sighing, she lifts her chin in stubborn acknowledgement and waits.

The shadows in her eyes sadden me. I kiss her, both from the pure need to do so that always exists, and the desire to dispel the notion she constantly has that I don't want her as much as she wants me. She quits breathing almost immediately, and I can't help but chuckle against her lips as I remind her to do the necessary.

My fingers seem to move of their own accord and the buttons of her blouse slide open beneath my hand. Her skin feels so cold. I know I should be concerned, but it's hard to focus on anything except the way she feels.

Groaning because she makes me feel so many desirous things, I move on to the snap and zipper of the wet, cold denim encasing her lower body. Undressing her is a necessary task, and yet that makes it no less erotic to me. Her scent is stronger now as I push the material down her legs, her heartbeat carrying it to me in delectably fragrant and warm waves as it begins to race. I've imagined doing this more times than I would ever admit, and my mind and senses hungrily devour every nuance of sight and touch and scent revealed to me. I'm in heaven and hell equally. As I lift her away from her jeans, I'm fascinated by the bumps that cover every inch of exposed skin. In nothing more than an open barely-there blouse and matching panties and bra of the most delicate ivory color I've ever seen, she is the most desirable creature in existence.

"You are absolutely covered in goose flesh." I want to touch and caress every inch of her. I want to do things to her that will make her blush, right before they make her moan. My comment about her goosebumps was meant to be reverential, but I realize she doesn't interpret them as such. She takes a small step back and frowns, pulling the edges of her blouse over the skin I can no longer bear not to see.

"Don't." I have to swallow the sudden pooling of venom in my mouth as her heart stutters and then ratchets up yet another level in speed at my tone. I carefully pull her arms away, holding them out so she can't cover up again. "Don't cover yourself. My God, Bella. Do you any idea, any idea at all, how exquisite you are?" The question is absurd, the answer that she does not have any idea is even more so.

She tries to move closer to me, and I can see in her eyes that it is a move made from two motives: a desire to hide and another to be held. Her teeth begin to chatter again as she says my name in frustration when I can't allow the movement. If I hold her now I will not be able to stop myself from pulling her down to the floor, tearing off the rest of her clothing and putting my mouth and hands over every inch…

I groan, trying to choke off the thought and kiss her hungrily. Even the inside of her mouth is cold and it's that fact that finally brings me to my senses. Here she is probably only a few degrees from possible hypothermia and I'm ready to take her on the floor. Disgusted with myself, I pull away, determined to not add to her discomfort with my icy touch.

"You can't shower with your hands this way, but I could draw you a bath?"

She seems slightly dazed, and I can't help the thrill that alleviates a small amount of my guilt. She wants me almost as much as I want her.

I repeat my question and watch in fascination as different emotions paint themselves across her face. Disappointment, rejection, annoyance, and finally approval of my offer. She has to be uncomfortable being so cold. I watch as she smiles and nods, pleased I can offer something to ease her discomforts. I release her so I can run the bath, somewhat grateful for a very short yet entirely essential reprieve.

I need to gather my wits about me and re-strengthen my resolve with reminders of my very realistic fears. However, as I run the water for her bath, I find myself amending my earlier thought. It's not a king size sledgehammer that Bella is wielding at my walls tonight. It's a jackhammer, and those few remaining articles of clothing that remain to be removed are going to tempt me in ways I can't even begin to imagine.

I am unbearably excited by the prospect.

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A/N Oh, Edward. Ever the protective, gentleman vamp, lol. Of course you all already know he's doomed. You just don't know how he feels about it. Read on to find out if you're at all curious. ;)


	5. Feeding the Fire

**A/N This is Edward's POV of chapter 2. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 5

EPOV

Feeding The Fire

Leaning against the wall outside the bathroom door doing everything in my power to just stay put, I have come to only one conclusion. Bella is trying to drive me insane.

From the second she walked into my life she has so easily torn down every wall I've built. But this…this is just madness. I truly feel as though I am on the brink of insanity. I close my eyes and try to focus on something mundane and non erotic, like the periodic table of elements, but the sound of water moving around Bella's exquisite, perfect body makes every effort laughable.

Images keep spinning through my thoughts, torturing me incessantly until I ache with need. I'm beginning to think that the siren call of her blood is nothing in comparison to _this_. Her blood is something I can never have, no matter my desire my thirst for her was always inconceivably wrong. But this, this wanting, this insane craving for her body, _that_ is an entirely different matter all together. She is mine just as I am hers, and nothing except my fear and the tenuous bonds of a wishful promise are keeping me from tearing this door down and taking _what…I…want_.

More images tumble forth to torture me. Bella standing in the bathroom her back to me, a position I placed her in thinking that only seeing that side naked would give me some kind of edge. I groan under my breath at my stupidity. The curve of her back, the trail of her spine leading down to her perfectly curved succulent… _God_. Even the back of her knees were perfect, the soft slope of her calves, her tiny fragile ankles. She was so painfully beautiful, a perfect artists model and while I ached to do unspeakable things, I also ached for a sketch book and a pencil. Such an odd combination of emotions on their own, never mind the intense tenderness protectiveness and love that had battered me as well.

And the candles? What was I thinking? I hoped the dim lighting would put her in shadows but the candlelight kissed her skin and caressed her body in ways I couldn't, making her glow like a translucent angel.

Struggling with my self control, I helped her into the water and prayed with every ounce of my leftover faith and things only got _worse_. The soapy, slippery feel of her skin beneath my hands, her soft moaning sighs as I washed her, the pure intimacy of such an act, it was nearly my undoing. She was so innocent she didn't have any idea how close I came to ravishing her - in a bathtub no less. What would she think of me then I wonder, or would she even be capable of thinking at all? I could have drowned her, broken her…

I almost choke on the thought; I should choke on the thought.

And of course things only continued to get worse, no matter how implausible that seemed at the time.

"_Could you maybe help me wash my hair?"_

Such an innocent request, and I was delighted, the idea of doing something to pamper her so appealing to me. After all, how could a chore like that be anything more than sweet and comforting. I am a fool of the most foolish kind.

"_Ummm, that feels so nice, Edward_."

And just like that I lost all rational thought, thinking only of ways to make her repeat those words. Ways that had nothing innocent or sweet or comforting about them. Ways that I barely allowed myself to imagine, ways that would have made me cringe coming from the minds of others.

"_Ummm, oh, that's nice_."

No my mind taunted, _nice, my Bella, would be my hands all over you, sliding down into that water and over your hot, wet skin._ I was closer in that moment to losing control than I have ever been. Still I found the will to stay strong, dug it up from the very bottom of my reserves and clung to it with tenacity.

"_God, Edward, you have the most amazing hands, that feels so good."_

Washing her hair suddenly in that moment lost all appeal. I was hanging on by a thread as I imagined all the things my hands could do to make her feel good. And how would she moan then, my seductive little human love? Moaning? Oh, no, I would make her scream her pleasure; she had no idea the things I could, _would_ do to her. Over a century of knowledge, decades of seeing in vivid Technicolor all the possible ways of pleasuring a woman, my woman, my Bella.

I was forced to drag my will power to the forefront, forced to finish with her hair fast, needing to get away if only for a moment. Then I stood up and saw that the water I used to rinse her hair had rinsed other areas as well.

Those final images of her burn behind my tightly closed eyelids. Her face tilted upwards looking at me with flushed skin and eyes that conveyed her arousal and desire. The water glistening on her skin, her breasts so soft, so sweetly perfect, the tips tight and begging for my hands, my mouth. I still don't know how I managed to leave her, and even as I stand here outside the door proving my control is intact, I know I'm fighting a losing battle.

I listen to her. I can hear her breathing and her movements sound frustrated, angry, her heartbeat too fast. All clear indicators that she has had enough. All our play at loving, our 'practicing' as we like to call it, has become almost desperate as of late, and I know that something must give soon. I know too that in a small way this has been harder for her with her uncontrollable human hormones and her insecurities eating her alive. How many nights have I lain beside her, or sat in the rocking chair and watched her toss and turn, her sleep fitful at best after I've left her aching and unfulfilled. My fingers have carved indentations into the arms of that chair, watching and listening as her dreams take her places I haven't.

A woman's body is so different than a man's, and since my mind can see the thoughts and emotions of both no one knows that better than I. To stoke the fires in the female body is to create a heat that will smolder for hours, leaving her restless and full of need if it isn't quenched. Though I ache for her as well, my immortal powers have given me the gift of control over my body that she does not have. Although, as of late, that control has been growing more and more limite. Not because I lack the power, but merely because I've lost the will. I am so desperately tired of fighting, of worrying, and yet what we propose to do together is so reckless, so dangerous, so absurd…

"Edward." Her voice is very loud, and I can't help smile as she jerks me abruptly from my morose thoughts. Yes, she is definitely angry.

"Fine, forget it, I'll get out myself." The smile turns to a grin. Even with all this angst her kitten claws are still delightful.

"Have it your way, Mister Stubborn. I'll probably fall and break my neck, but whatever, at least you won't have to see me naked!"

Somehow I manage not to laugh as I quickly move to intervene before she can make her threat a reality. I'm standing at the side of the tub holding a towel before she even realizes I'm there. I might actually laugh at this point as she scowls at me in temper, but the bubbles that covered most of her body at one point are now only barely there. The ache is back worse than ever, and whatever powers for controlling my body I may possess they are nowhere in attendance now.

"I'm right here, Bella, you didn't need to yell, love."

Her scowl grows, and she looks positively fierce. I don't believe I've ever seen her this angry. She's glorious.

"Edward, a little help here please. I mean, I know I'm completely insulting your medieval standards of morality, but…"

I've lifted her from the tub and swaddled her in the towel before she can blink, never mind finish her ranting insult.

"Medieval standards of morality? Did it ever occur to you that I was merely trying to be respectful?" I strive to contain my own rising irritation. The fact that her emotions are beginning to turn from anger to outright pouting are too adorable for me too really lose my temper with her.

She doesn't answer, just scowls some more before turning in a huff and heading for the bedroom. I follow her warily, and a bit in awe. This is a side of Bella I've rarely if ever seen.

She stares at the clothing Alice has left for her and actually stamps her foot in irritation like a small, hot-tempered child. The image of a child vanishes instantly when she spins back to face me. Glorious is a poor choice of words. Superlative, magnificent, stunning, all are equally as poor. Her skin is moist, flushed with heat and temper. She's been biting her lip, and her mouth is swollen and red As she moistens them with her small pink tongue I growl internally with need. She looks like a woman who's just been meticulously touched, caressed, and readied by her lover.

"Oh, for the love of…I am not wearing that!" Her eyes dance with fire, daring me to challenge her. I manage to tear my eyes away from her long enough to see that Alice's idea of appropriate clothing leaves much to be desired.

"Alice," I sigh impatiently. "Okay, I'll go see if she has something more appropriate."

"No."

"No?" Her temper seems to be escalating into irrational behaviour. I wonder if she's capable of a full blown temper tantrum. I've seen quite a few of those from Rosalie, and Emmett seems to be able to find a way to calm her, though those ways are not open to Bella and I.

"That's right, no. Just get me my clothes, I want to go home."

Her voice is a bit calmer, but what I'm about to tell her may change all of that. "Bella, love, I've put your things in the wash. They were wet and muddy remember? Besides, Carlisle wants to check your hands every few hours and reapply the salve, so he's already called Charlie and explained everything. You'll be spending the night here." I take a small step back expecting an explosion.

I watch her face carefully, surprised to see her expression seems to clear. Her shoulders relax, and she appears to be thinking, hard. I can't read her; the sudden change is a bit disarming. I find myself contemplating the dates on the calendar, wondering if perhaps her impending period is to blame for all this emotional turmoil. The dates don't match, and though she has to be upset about her truck it's not like Bella to let even something like that get to her this way. I study her face further, looking for the telltale signs of a person in pain. Perhaps the burns are more serious than Carlisle realizes. No, she's certainly uncomfortable, but it isn't that either. I can't help sigh. Her emotions are due to one thing and one thing only, her utter frustration with me and our current situation.

Striving to sound calm, and to push my own inferno of emotion away, I speak softly. "So I'll just go and find something…"

"Give me your shirt."

"What?" I glance down, slightly confused.

"Give me your shirt, if I'm spending the night I'll need something to wear to sleep in, right? So just give me that."

"I can get you a shirt to sleep in, Bella, I have lots you know." I smile gently, trying to placate even as I realize she hasn't given up on the idea of seducing me. In fact, she's gearing up for a full scale attack.

"Not one that you've already worn. Not one that smells like you."

Ah, yes, there it is and I go dumb. Heat, raw need, fevered arousal; they all consume me at her words. I strip the shirt off and quickly dress her in it. I know I've lost the battle but I move now on autopilot, still clinging like a stubborn ass to the final dying strands of my arguments. When the last button is done up as high as it can go, I reach beneath it and tug away her towel. It's all I can do not to press it to my face, breathe in the lingering scent of her naked skin and chew on the hot, damp fabric. Instead, I toss it aside and kiss her, letting her know without words what she's doing to me.

"Dangerous, positively dangerous," I step back and try one last time to distract her.

"I should get you something to eat, Bella."

"No thanks, I'm not hungry, at least not _that_ kind of hungry." Her eyes flare and her body wails at me like a siren. I pinch the bridge of my nose, desperately trying to think of some way to deal with all of this, some way to give her what she needs without hurting her. Am I capable of that? Yes my body screams, but my mind is tormented with what ifs.

"Bella…"

"Edward…"

I sigh loudly, so does she, and a little bit of fight seems to go out of her. I'm confused at my reaction to that. I should feel elated. Once again I am wearing her down, and yet that is precisely why I _don't_ feel anything but anger with myself. How many times will I do this to her, hurt her this way? All the practicality of my arguments seems incongruous in the face of her pain, her feelings of rejection.

"Fine, at least help me brush my hair before it dries."

I do as she asks, striving to keep my head. I need to think. She's making it impossible. She smells so sweet, her intoxicating scent mixing with the lilac bubble bath, her strawberry shampoo, the soft allure of her sexual need.

She moves onto the center of the bed and studies me with a slight sexy pout. My growl of desire as I watch the shirt ride up over her thighs is so quiet she cannot hear it.

"You did up way too many buttons on this shirt, Edward, it isn't at all comfortable." Or perhaps she could. I close my eyes, still desperately trying to find a way.

Her movements make my eyes snap open, and I move quickly to intervene before she hurts herself. I tug open two buttons.

"Better?"

"No."

Sighing again even louder this time. "Bella, you are playing with fire, you are going to get burned."

Her sigh matches my own, "I already did that, remember." Fluttering her fingers.

"Why are you doing this?"

She looks at me and all her emotions come to the surface. I can see them in her expression, read them in her eyes, but most of all I hear them in the pain that laces each word. "Because I trust you, but I need you to trust yourself. And I really need to know that you want me too." She swallows, looking away from me as though the rest is too hard to say to my face. "Edward I just…"

I move closer, filled with sadness and desire. That I have done this to her, made her so insecure, breaks what's left of my resolve. "Bella, you just what?" I'm pleading now.

"I just need you, is that really so hard to understand?" She watches my face, letting me see her sadness, and I can tell the second she sees my will shatter. She moves closer, wraps her arms around my neck. "I need you, Edward."

Her soft plea ends my argument, and I give in to the inevitable as if there was ever any doubt. I want what she wants, I need what she needs and I've made us both wait long enough.


	6. Incineration

**A/N This is Edward's POV of chapter 3. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight, including Edward (sigh).**

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Chapter 6 

Incineration 

EPOV

In one quick move, I pull Bella close and slide my hands down her back and over her delectable little backside, down past the hemline of the shirt. The bare skin on the backs of her thighs is softer than silk, and with a groan I have her beneath me, legs splayed to either side of my body. I have exactly ten seconds of restraint left, and I need to know what she wants.

"Ground rules, Bella?"

"Ground rules?"

"Yes, I need to know what you're after here, love. Everything?"

She shakes her head, "No, not everything, just something, anything, God, Edward, please."

Her breathing is fast, her heartbeat faster, and my mind goes insane with images and ideas of _something, anything_. The possibilities are endless, and I wonder why I've never allowed myself to think about them before now.

My hesitation is very small, but she grows impatient immediately and wraps her hands in my hair, trying to pull me down. I wince internally at the thought of how that must feel with her hands so raw and painful.

"Careful, you're going to hurt your hands."

"I don't care."

Oh, dear lord she's going to be the death of me, the death of both of us. "Bella, I'm willing to give you what you want, what we _both_ want, but you have to do as I say."

She whimpers slightly as I tug her hands down to the pillow, though thankfully not from pain. "Let me lead, and for God's sake if you value my sanity do not move your hands from this pillow. Do you understand?"

I barely wait for her agreeable nod before I lean down and kiss her with a hunger and intensity that surprises even me. Her mouth is pure sin, hotter and sweeter in her aroused state, and though I want to devour her I move back onto my knees. I _need_ to look at her.

The skin on the front of her thighs feels even softer than it looks, the creaminess of her ivory skin, the heat beneath my fingers unbearably erotic. Lying there dressed in nothing but my shirt, she is the very embodiment of sex. With a loud groan I bunch my hands in the fabric that covers what I need to see, and I tear it away, hating myself for my impatience when I see her flinch. Yet not even my self loathing at my inability to take things slow tarnishes the image that lies beneath me. Perfection.

"My God, Bella, the word beautiful doesn't do you justice." Slowly, and with as much tenderness as I can convey, I touch her body, moving my hands from the tops of her thighs to her neck. So many places I want to caress, worship and learn. So many fragile, breakable, places. I rein my strength in even further and decrease the pressure of my fingers until I'm certain I won't hurt her. _God, I can't hurt her._

She arches her back with a soft heated moan, and it brings us together in a shockingly intimate way. I can feel her heat and her wetness penetrate through my jeans, and it's all I can do to stay still. The friction pleases her and her heart goes wild. Pressing my hand to her chest, I allow the vibration of her life to sink into my skin. I am instantly consumed by tenderness at the feeling that this girl, this _woman_ is mine.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

She smiles, a slow seductive tilting of her lips, and I grow uncomfortably hard. "Show me," she whispers.

Her small breasts fill my hands as though they were made for me and me alone, "So perfect." My voice is nothing more than a growl, and I can't wait anymore. Every inch of her is suddenly mine to discover. I can't get enough - enough of her scent, her taste, the feel of her bare skin beneath my hands, my lips.

I ache to please her as she pleases me. I want with every fibre of my being to convey how infinitely precious she is to me, and each one of those emotions is conflicted in others so much darker in nature. I want to make love to her, treasure her, take her, claim her, and bury my aching erection so deep inside her tight, hot body that it becomes impossible to know where one begins and the other ends. I want to rut like an animal and cherish her all at the same time, and her soft cries and moans only draw me harder and harder into those all consuming needs. Even as I lick softly at her delicate, pink nipples, the urge to bite is always there, mocking me, my desire for her blood never far from the surface. Through sheer force of will, I smash it down with each brutal, burning, swallow of the venom that pools in my mouth.

And still I somehow remain in control, my hands never faltering in their gentleness. As my conviction that I will not harm her grows, all my conflicting needs slowly melt together until I want only one thing. _Her_. The blood lust slips farther away as I press my mouth to hers, eagerly tracing her lips with my tongue. Her arousal surrounds me in scent and sensation, and her taste is sweeter than ever. _This_ is what I want, what I need, what I have to have. _This_ is what will sustain me for eternity; her blood can never hold such power.

She whimpers, and I instantly catch the hint of pain it carries. She says something barely understandable, and I move back quickly, easily interpreting her need and the fact that what was once gratifying friction is now just too much. Moving my hand down her body, I lay my fingers over her sex, watching as she opens her beautiful eyes. The vulnerability there links us together in this uncharted territory. The questions in her gaze so easily read as I grasp her hip and keep her from moving away.

Unable to move physically, she tries to hide by closing her eyes. Her ridiculous human insecurities are trying to take her away from me. I move my fingers, and her mouth opens with a small pant of pleasure. "Open your eyes, Bella and look at me, love." I cease the movements that seem to fuel her need and wait for her to do as I ask. She will not hide from me, I will never allow it.

"Do you know what it means to me to feel you this way, sweetheart?" She turns her head, blushing like the pure innocent she is and I can't help but laugh softly. I will banish that insecurity of hers, set it on fire with the flames I will ignite in her body. My mind is an open cavern of experience and knowledge never appreciated until this very moment.

I move my fingers and dip them just inside of her. The grip of her slick walls is unimaginable but this is territory I am not willing to explore just yet. My breathing is no longer even as the human side I'd thought long since dead and gone comes back to life with a vengeance, shutting the final door on the vampire.

"This?" I groan coating my fingers in her liquid heat. "This drives me insane." Carefully I draw the wetness up through her petal like folds and press them gently against her most sensitive spot. "So wet, so warm," I watch in fascination as her hips begin to rock against my hand, as her pupils dilate in reaction to my touch.

The painful restriction in my jeans becomes unbearable, and I use my other hand to open them, watching her expression carefully as I slip my hand inside. For the first time today, I feel a slight gratefulness for her injury. Her ability to touch me would add a level of intensity to this moment that could make our mutual desire to wait until our wedding night impossible.

Unable to keep my eyes from the sight of my hand moving against her most intimate flesh, I moan loudly as I wrap my hands around the base of my erection. It's a poor substitute for the touch I truly crave, but a necessary one if I am to stay sane. I quickly rake my eyes back to her face, wondering how she will react to my movements, wondering if she will be repulsed or offended. I should know better. My Bella is innately sensual, and I watch fascinated as her mouth opens on a sharp moan that communicates her approval absolutely. Her arousal grows as she watches me, and I can see her hands twitch as she fights the desire to touch me as I now touch myself. It's almost more than I can stand. As her soft cries grow louder, her escalating desire rapidly feeds fuel to my own.

I press my fingers just a tiny bit harder against her clitoris, feeling the silky little bud swell and firm, and dear God, she's so exquisite, beyond imaginable. The feeling of touching her this way combines with the visual of her perfect form, and I stroke both of us faster.

"Does this feel good, love?" My voice is no longer my own, turned raw in heat and burning venom.

"God yes, unghhh, Edward don't stop please, don't stop."

I thought the sounds of her soft moans in the tub while I washed her Beene were torture, but this…I'm slammed by the sound of her voice so drenched in passion, by her hot pleas until I'm at the very brink of embarrassing myself like the most inexperienced of adolescents.

I can tell she's close to her own climax as well, and I move my fingers just a bit faster. The thought that I am about to make Bella come is incinerating my mind. How long have I fantasized about seeing her this way, making her feel this way?

"Tell me, Bella. Tell me if it feels good, love."

"So good, it feels so good, Edward, don't stop…" Her entire body suddenly arches off the bed and locks there, one second, two, three, her heart skips, races, skips, and then she shatters. Her cry of release is mine, and I press my mouth to hers, swallowing it, drinking every last drop even as my own body explodes in shards of unimaginable pleasure.

Slowly the haze lifts, and she murmurs my name with the softest, most lovely of sighs before her body sinks back down onto the bed. She places her arms around my back, and while still keeping my weight balanced, I don't allow one millimetre of space between us. I hear her smile then giggle, and I lift my head to look at her with my own amused expression. She sounds like a very pleased, very gratified, woman.

"What is so funny may I ask?"

"Hmm, I was just thinking."

"About?"

"About the fact that I am remarkably unscathed for a _fragile_ human."

I roll my eyes at her playfully. "Yes, well, let's try to keep it that way shall we?" As usual her faith in me is unshakable, but of course she could have no idea of how precarious things were in the beginning moments of our lovemaking. I roll onto my back, taking her with me. Cupping her head, I sweep my lips over her jaw and neck, surprised at how easy it is to want her all over again. She moans as I press kisses just beneath her chin, and her hips move against mine.

It doesn't surprise me when her feelings obviously match my own. I've always known it would be this way for us, the perfect marriage of physical and emotional. Still, I can't help but tease her.

"Insatiable little witch," I growl.

She presses against me harder as she feels the growing evidence of my own desires. "I'm not the only insatiable one apparently." Lightly, teasing, she brushes her mouth over mine, her sweet, warm breath bathing me in her scent, her taste.

_I'm sorry, Edward, truly son, but I really do need to check on those burns of hers._

Cursing softly under my breath, I brush her hair back behind her ears as Carlisle's thoughts rudely interrupt a very promising moment. I want nothing more than to begin again, only this time I will take my sweet time and love her so slowly, so thoroughly…

Sighing, I try unsuccessfully to block his thoughts, but he's determined to get my attention. "Ummm, well, yes, but I think we'll need to hold onto that thought for a minute."

"Why?" her pout is adorable. I can easily tell she's getting ready to unleash some more of that delightful temper, probably imagining that I'm about to call a cease and desist. As if I could. The woman has no idea of her powers, it really is absurd that she cannot tell what she does to me, how irresistible she is, especially now. Now that I've felt her, seen her, touched her…oh, god, I want to taste her…

_I'll only interrupt for a minute, Edward. You know yourself how susceptible humans are to infection. The current…activity you two are up to, may not be the wisest choice. Any extra abrasion…_

His thoughts trail off into images I could live without thinking my father capable of.

"Because, love. Carlisle is getting a bit anxious to check your hands again. I'm afraid he's a little concerned that our current activities might be causing some, uh, irritation."

Instantly she turns beet red and groans, burying her hot little face in my chest, the sensation of which does little to help my current distractibility problem. Still, I can't help but laugh harder, especially when Carlisle's interpretation of her little groan of embarrassment has him chastising me.

"Not helping, Bella, now he thinks we're at it again. He's debating whether or not to interrupt."

She tries to move away and sit up, but I hold on, too attached to the feel of her naked skin against my chest…

"Stupid vampire super hearing," she mutters, still very red. I should really stop teasing her but just a bit more is irresistible. Plus she's going to need a thicker skin. There are no secrets in this house, and we are both exceedingly lucky that only Carlisle has overheard us. He will be very discreet, which is more than I can say for certain other members of my family.

"Yes quite, though not really necessary, love. We weren't exactly quiet, especially not you."

She huffs in indignation, yet rolls her eyes playfully. "Proud of yourself, aren't you?"

I let her see with her own eyes the veritable truth of her words before I roll her once again on her back and brush my lips over hers. Carlisle is on his way to knock at the door, but I have at least 10 seconds left before he interrupts. More than enough time for one very sweet, very intense, kiss.

Purposely breathing over her and employing my powers to dazzle, I pause just before making contact with her delectable little mouth. "Yes, I am, but that doesn't mean that there isn't room for improvement. And isn't it you, my sweet little love, that keeps saying we really should practice?"


	7. Fanning the Flames

**A/N I asked for opinions and by a landslide Edward's POV won! Yay for me. I adore writing EPOV. :)**

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Chapter 7 

Fanning the Flames - EPOV

Carlisle's soft yet insistent knock has me drawing back from Bella's tempting kisses with a sigh of resignation. As I move away from her, she instantly tries to scramble under the covers. It's impossible not to laugh at her awkward, adorable wiggling. Capturing her hands gently, I place one last quick kiss on the tip of her nose. "Wait, love. I'll get you another shirt."

In less than a few seconds, I have the tattered remnants of one shirt removed and another buttoned up to her chin. I tuck the covers up to her waist, spin into the bathroom to change my clothes as well, then long before he can get impatient I let Carlisle in. Bella laughs and shakes her head at me with an amused and awed expression, before glancing at Carlisle, promptly beginning to blush.

True to form, Carlisle's easy bedside manner and penchant for tact soothes Bella's embarrassment away quickly. If she could read his mind and hear his inner dialogue, which is almost praising me for accomplishing such a private act of love, she wouldn't be so easily calmed. Grateful that she is blissfully unaware and intending to keep it that way, I watch her closely. She relaxes back against the pillows I've stacked behind her while Carlisle unwraps the bandages.

"How's the pain, Bella?" He asks, gently turning each of her hands slightly in inspection. I can't tell anything from his expression, but I catch a hint of concern in his mind as he runs through the signs of infection. Her skin is enflamed, and the blisters look more pronounced now, though he seems to have expected this.

"It's not bad," she says, and Carlisle arches an eyebrow as he watches her bite her lip.

_Not a very good liar is she, Edward_, he thinks at me. Outwardly, he nods in seeming acceptance of her statement. "I need to reapply the salve, okay?"

Her brow wrinkles at the thought before she sighs and nods without argument. At the first touch of Carlisle's hands, she turns pale and closes her eyes. This is the only obvious sign she gives of her discomfort - her lips press tight, and she maintains silence. Using the full extent of his vampire speed, Carlisle is able to turn what would normally be several minutes of torture into several seconds, and when she opens her eyes, she blinks at her already re-bandaged hands. Smiling, she leans in and kisses Carlisle's cheek.

"Thank you," she says with a small laugh, holding up her hands and examining them herself.

Carlisle chuckles, his mind slightly overwhelmed by the sweetness of her gesture. It is very rare indeed for a human to so thoughtlessly bestow any type of physical affection on our kind, no matter how nice we may be to them. Some natural survival instinct seems to be strong enough to quickly quell any impulse that even the most grateful of Carlisle's patients have.

Standing, he smiles gently at her. "Have you eaten today, Bella?"

"I ate breakfast before I came," she answers, looking slightly confused by the question.

"Breakfast was quite a few hours ago, you need to eat and drink plenty of fluids. The healing process is slow enough for this type of injury without adding to it by denying your body the fuel it needs." Frowning slightly, I watch and listen to his thoughts on nutrition as he examines her more closely, checking for signs of dehydration.

She shrugs delicately. "I'm okay right now, maybe in a bit though? I'm just not feeling very hungry."

"You can wait a bit yet to eat if you'd like, but I would like to see you drinking at least. Fluids are extremely important, and I'm concerned you may already be dehydrated. The shock of an injury can deplete your body quite rapidly." He frowns, examining her even more closely, obviously searching for signs. "Have you…?"

Distracted, I answer his question before he has time to fully ask it, irritated with myself for wallowing in the joy of loving her body without fully taking care of it. "No, she hasn't."

"She hasn't what?" Bella asks, looking at me with mild annoyance. I realize my faux pas immediately. I might have saved her the embarrassment of having to answer the question herself, but that may have been the lesser of the two evils. Having Carlisle ask if she's used the bathroom since her burns occurred might have been uncomfortable, but my answering for her was probably worse. She'd be mortified to think I paid attention to such things, even though it's really just inherent to my nature. Just as I'm capable of thinking of many different things at one time, so too am I just as capable of being aware of many different things. No detail is too small or insignificant generally to catch my attention, and no detail in Bella's human life is _ever_ insignificant or too small.

Carlisle instantly becomes amused with my quandary, and I can't help but shoot him a warning look as I attempt to cover myself. "Carlisle was just wondering if you have a preference for a beverage."

"And I don't?" she asks with a small smile.

"Oh, well, sorry, love. I should have asked you first of course. I was just concerned that you really do need to drink something."

"Hmm, and here I thought he was going to ask me something way more doctorish, like when was the last time I peed or something like that. You know, since he brought up the whole fluids topic." She winks at Carlisle who begins to laugh. He tries to cover it up with an unnecessary cough, and then gives in to his amusement as Bella begins to giggle at the obvious look of chagrin on my face.

Still laughing, his thoughts letting me know that he thinks I have my hands full, Carlisle leaves the room. I roll my eyes at Bella, whose still giggling.

"So, Miss mindreader, do you?" I ask, purposely keeping the question vague as I watch her eyes twinkling in amusement. Her face is still tight with pain and much too pale for my comfort. I will gladly play foolish if it eases her in any way.

"Do I what? Have to pee? Not just now thanks, but maybe later." She giggles harder, and I can hear Carlisle's amusement rekindling as well as he closes his office door.

"Do you have a preference for a beverage?" I reiterate slowly, hiding my own amusement. She rarely misses anything now; I can only imagine what she'll be like as an immortal. The thought is both compelling and disturbing. I still haven't completely accepted the idea of her change.

"I'm really not thirsty, Edward. I do however, miss you." She mimes patting the bed beside her and smiles softly. I shake my head at her, tempted yet determined.

"Bella, you heard Carlisle. I won't make you eat if you're not hungry. You do need to drink, however. You can have whatever you like, love."

She sighs impatiently. "If I play nice and do what you want, are you going to come back and lie with me?"

"Of course, love."

She studies me with suspicion, then slowly nods. "Just a glass of water is fine, Edward."

I slip away and return as quickly as possible with a carafe filled with cold water and a glass, which I fill to the rim and delicately hold to her mouth. She frowns and tries to turn away.

"Edward, I can hold my own glass." She starts to reach for it. I pull it away.

"Bella, when the swelling goes down a bit then you can. If you try to do it now, you're only going to cause yourself more pain. Don't be stubborn."

Her frown grows, matching the hint of petulance I imagine is forming in her thoughts. Glaring, letting me know she is not impressed, she finally allows me to help her drink, though she takes only a few small sips.

"Bella…" She rolls her eyes again, and somehow I manage to coax her into drinking most of the glass.

"Happy?" she asks leaning back against the pillows with a slight grimace of distaste. I smile to let her know I am, and then refill the glass.

"Edward, seriously I can't drink anymore." She sounds rather alarmed, and I chuckle. "Really, I'm all sloshy and everything. If you make me drink that I will probably throw up."

I put the glass on the table and smile. "For later then. If my knowledge of human biology is correct, I rather think we need you to keep it down if we're to appease Carlisle's concerns." Her face flushes a pretty pink as I free her from the covers and pull her into my lap. I pull my t-shirt off and toss it to the floor, before taking her hands and gingerly laying one on my chest and another around my waist. The coolness of my body instantly begins to soothe her pain, and she sighs, leaning her forehead against mine.

"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you earlier, Bella."

She shrugs softly. "Having a mind reading vampire fiancé with super powers who is all too aware of my…human moments, isn't the worst thing in the world."

"No?"

"No, it even sometimes has its perks."

I laugh softly, brushing my lips gently against hers. "Such as?"

She wiggles her fingers, then shifts her hands, searching for a new cold spot. "Such as having my very own ice pack," she says with a small smile. I deepen the kiss, and her smile melts beneath mine as I trace the sweet fullness of her bottom lip. A soft little moan spills from her throat when she turns her body closer to me.

"Shall I get Carlisle so he can give you something for the pain?"

"What pain," she sighs as I move my kisses lower along the line of her jaw, the smooth curve of her throat.

"Bella." Very gently I cup her face and make her look at me. I search her expression, looking intently for the telltale signs of pain. I can see them in the shadows around her eyes, the slight tightness of her mouth, though even as I look I can see them dissipating, being replaced by arousal and desire. "You don't have to be brave all the time, love. You know I can't stand to see you hurting."

"Then distract me, Edward, make it go away." Pressing her lips to mine, she kisses me with a hint of desperation, her need already becoming acute. I groan and lay her back down on the bed, determined and eager to do as she asks, to pick up where I left off in Carlisle's interruption. I will love her slowly this time, thoroughly. Take my time and drown her pain in a river of pleasure, make her forget everything with the exception of my name.

She wraps her arms around my back, and I reach for them, tugging them down to the pillow once more. This time she refuses to submit, fighting me, whimpering a soft no against my neck. "Bella, you mustn't…"

"No, I need the coolness of your skin. Please, Edward, it helps," she pleads.

I groan, totally conflicted. I want to let her do as she asks, only I'm not sure I can trust her restraint. I pull back slightly, meeting her imploring gaze. "Okay, love. But you must be so careful. You have to remember your limitations right now. I won't allow you to hurt yourself."

Nodding, she lifts her head and licks gently at my mouth, making me growl at her taste and the sensual, warm, moist feel of her breath. "I'll be careful, I promise."

Wrapping my hands around her waist, I lift her once again onto my lap, only this time with her legs wrapped around my hips. Gently, I settle her body against mine, groaning loudly at the sensation of her soft heat pressing flush against my cold hardness. The feeling of having her so intimately close is oddly better than I remember, and as her warmth penetrates the thin soft cotton of my flannel pyjama pants, I literally shudder against her. She pushes her hips against mine, moaning my name as I slowly begin to unbutton the shirt she's wearing, determined not to ruin this one. It is, like all my clothes, nothing more than an article of fabric to me, or at least it was until today. From this day forward this is my second favourite shirt, and unlike my first favourite that lies in tatters on the opposite side of the bed, I want this one to stay whole.

"Tell me what you're thinking?" she asks, her voice tremulous and soft.

I kiss her neck, the soft silky place beneath her ear. "I'm thinking that I love you, that I adore you, that you've never been more beautiful." She moans as my fingers graze the flesh between her breasts as I continue to work the buttons open. "I'm thinking this shirt has too many damn buttons."

She smiles, her head falling back. My knuckles brush her thighs while I work the last few buttons free. "What else?" she breathes.

"I'm thinking…" I groan loudly as I part the open material and begin to gently work it off her arms, being ever so careful of her sore hands. "That you make me ache with wanting you. I'm thinking that I..."

She presses her mouth to my neck and licks my skin, kisses her way up the side and runs her tongue over my earlobe. I hiss in reaction as the scalding wet heat of her lips wraps around the sensitive flesh, scraping lightly with her teeth until my mind goes blank. I barely remember to be gentle as I push her back down on the bed, moving over her. I groan her name in praise and warning, and cover her delectable little mouth with my own, drinking in her taste like I'm dying of thirst. I pull back, scrabbling for my sanity and my restraint, shaking my head at her with a low growl.

"I'm _thinking_ you are making it very hard to _think_!"

She smiles and licks her lips, pleased by this.

Before my plan to take things slowly can crumble under the weight of my lust, I gently and quickly finish removing the shirt before I lay her back down. She keeps her legs wrapped around my hips as I stroke her thigh, struggling for control. She is so incredibly warm and lovely. Lifting her head from the pillow, she begins kissing my chest, her hands moving restlessly over my waist. I catch them with a loud groan and place them above her head. The movement makes her head fall back, her back arch. I lock her hands there, holding her wrists as lightly as possible.

"Bella, God…" I can't even find words. The skin on my chest that her mouth touched tingles, burning in the most pleasurable of ways and sending a flood of desire straight to my groin. I can't stop myself from pushing my hips against hers. Instantly she rewards my actions with a need-filled whimper, her legs tightening around me.

"Not fair," she moans as I lower my mouth to her breasts. They're begging for my attentions, each erect tip arching upwards from the ivory centers of her flesh. I kiss each one, brush my lips back and forth until she trembles.

Regaining control as the sweet scent of her skin invades my mind, I lift my head. "What's not fair, love?"

"You…," she arches her hips anew, trembling as her center presses hard against me. Her leg muscles clench and shake. I use one hand to continue holding her wrists while the other strokes the smooth line of her thigh, feeling the tremors through the sensitive pads of my fingers. She gasps as my hand moves to her hip and around to the side of her bottom, then finally underneath, kneading her supple flesh and lifting her harder against me. Her back comes off the bed, her succulent little nipples scraping lightly over my skin, making me hiss.

"You…I'm naked and you're…" I love that she's struggling to find words and failing. So much so that I purposely lick her lip and kiss her open mouth, teasing her tongue with mine and sending her deeper into her fog of desire.

The feeling of her body so completely pressed against mine is unbearably erotic. I'm getting off on her pleasure, on her inability to be coherent, to breathe. So much so when she turns her face away and groans my name in frustration, I'm surprised to realize she still has the power to completely undo me.

"Edward…no, I want you, too… I need to feel you, see you…Please." She's panting and trembling, and her heat, wetness and soft scent are draining my willpower, making me forget everything.

I groan her name in a low warning tone, imploring her without words to just this one time be complacent. She ignores me, digging her little heels into the backs of my legs, then dragging them down. I can feel the material sliding down my hips at her efforts. She repeats the manoeuvre before I can get my bearings and stop her. The pants slide farther down, exposing the tip of my erection which instantly brushes through the silken curls of her sex.

"Bella, stop," I gasp, as she repeats the action a second time.

She moans and arches again, though this time it is in frustration. "Why?"

"Love…I can't, it's too much, you're…" Now it's my turn to be incoherent as the heat of her rounded mons radiates over that exquisitely sensitive area of my body.

"I'm naked, you're not…it's hardly fair." Her breathing is erratic, her heart hammering against my chest so hard it almost feels like mine is miraculously reanimated. My throat erupts in flame as her warm scent floods over me. I barely notice it in the throbbing of my body. Slowly, I tear the seam down the side of my pants. The material parts like tissue and falls against her. Bella gasps, taking instant advantage, arching into it as though it's a caress. Slowly, I pull it away. Lifting her head, Bella watches with passion glazed eyes as I expose myself to her fully for the first time.

She doesn't move, her breathing shallow. Turning her eyes back up to mine, she watches as I stare back at her, trying to read her elusive thoughts. A smile, dangerous and heated, curls her parted lips. "God, Edward," she breathes, flooding my mouth with the taste of her breath, her life force, making me ache with desire and love. "Not fair," she whispers, licking my top lip and lightly sucking on my tongue when I touch it to hers.

Groaning, I seal our lips and kiss her as deeply as possible, not moving until I know she needs air.

"Fair? I haven't got any more clothes, love." I groan even louder against her, trying to control all the rabid urges, to ground my thoughts and unfulfilled desires with the sound of her voice. I want so badly to press the curves of our forms together. Instead, I hold myself steady, shocked at the moist heat that rises and wraps around my cold length.

"Not that," she replies gently, shaking her head. She blushes, the color heightening the flush of her arousal. "Even _that_ part of you is beautiful."

I can't help shake my head at her, "Some men might find that descriptive slightly unflattering, love," I murmur, amused. Her words accomplish what my will power alone was failing to do, and I feel my body slowly come back under my control, my mind once again reasserting its dominance. I chuckle as her expression turns thoughtful.

"Oh, right. This is where I'm supposed to use terms like massive and enormous, correct?" Her breathing is still uneven. I purposely make it more so by sweeping my fingertips over her breasts. The delicate, rosebud pink of her nipples seems to grow darker as they become taut beneath my touch. The caress makes her shudder and arch into my touch, wanting more.

"Hmm, yes those descriptives are much more acceptable. The male ego is a fragile thing." I gently use my thumb and index finger to tug lightly at each peak, delighted with her responsive cry.

"I doubt the word fragile…is a…term that anyone would…oh."

Done with teasing, I stop her words completely by pressing my erection against her core. A loud growl of pure unadulterated need consumes both of us in that moment. Her heat surrounds me, my coolness sending shockwaves through her, and suddenly nothing exists beyond this feeling. I press my mouth against hers, engulfed by matching sensations of hard meets soft, cool meets warm. The wetness of her kiss is almost, but not quite, as delicious as the wetness of her arousal. I move, feeling her opening around me, tender folds of feminine skin wrapping me in their slick, scalding heat.

"Edward, oh yes." She arches, and I push slowly until the head of my erection rubs against the swollen nub of her clitoris. The sensation is so intense, so unbelievably right, I can only moan her name.

"Bella, love, God, you are so hot, so wet for me, sweetheart, yes." She rocks her hips against mine, and I cup her hips, releasing her hands, and lifting her until she is right against me. There is barely any friction as our bodies glide together. When she wraps her arms around my shoulders, its heaven and hell. She's so perfectly, dangerously close to me.

"Careful, my angel, careful," I pant. Trying to pleasure her and protect her at the same time seems almost impossible. One careless move, one forgotten moment, and my strength could harm her. And now her raw, tender hands, so impossibly delicate without their injuries, never mind with them, only add to my concerns. And yet I can't stop the movements of our bodies, can't stop guiding her back and forth over me. The sensation is bliss I never knew existed until this moment.

Thankfully she lowers her hands, placing them against my ribs, locking them there and allowing me to continue. She's beginning to make a sound deep in the back of her throat, a soft purr that almost makes me lose my mind. I want that sound. I need that sound, and I repeat the movement that caused it, seeking more of her lush responses. Trembling, her legs clamp down around my hips. I quicken my pace, holding on by a thread, wanting to let go yet needing with every fibre of my being to take her with me.

"More," she moans, and I move faster, press just a tiny bit harder, making each gliding thrust shorter now, focusing directly where she needs it the most. The feeling nearly overwhelms.

Bella's hands drop away and fall to the mattress, her palms turning up protectively. I falter in my rhythm, afraid that she's hurt, but so far gone in lust I can't quite stop all the way.

Her eyes open, burning into mine, filled with her need. Using her arms, she pushes against the mattress, lifting her body, rocking her hips. "Edward, don't… Please...keep…going, oh, God, I need you so much."

Finding the rhythm I lost is effortless under the guide of her plea. She drops her gaze, watching the way we move together. Her expression at the sight is such that I almost lose it entirely, the power of my impending climax roaring down around me. "Bella, love…I'm so close," I warn her.

She whimpers at my words, small shudders wracking her tiny frame, her thigh muscles quivering, her spine tensing, her back arching.

"Yes," I growl as her body quickens, "I want you, Bella. Give yourself to me. Let me feel you come."

Her back arches farther, and she bites her lip. I instantly know she's striving not to scream, but I won't have it. "No, don't you dare," I groan, forcing my body to slow, pulling back just enough that she stays balanced on the very edge of her release.

She slowly tilts her head back up, arching her neck against the pillows to look at me, her eyes burning with passion.

"Don't bite your lip. Don't hide your pleasure from me, Bella. I want all of it." I soften my tone as tears of frustration and need fill her eyes. "No one's here, love. No one will hear you, only me." I'm already moving faster, my body beginning to shudder as her eyes roll back. She gasps my name and my primal instincts gloat.

"Yes, love, like that. Say my name and let go, let me please you…come with me." She makes one final very loud cry and repeats my name with the last breath she has. Her entire body surges upwards one last time before freezing. Like a small inferno she flares impossibly hot and consumes me completely. Her release demands mine. I shudder, helpless to resist, sane enough only to know I must stay careful, slow, gentle. With a deep moan, I call her name and allow her to take me under.

Time stops… oblivion descends…

"Bella." I growl her name again and again, anchored to the centre of my universe. Her.


	8. Fanning the Flames Bpov

**A/N Reader's choice from last chapter was for Bella's POV of chapter 7. I aim to please. ;-) Enjoy!**

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Chapter 8 

Fanning the Flames BPOV

Edward gently breaks our kiss and moves away, and it's all I can do not to whimper and beg him not to stop. Now that I've finally broken down some of his walls, I'm reluctant to let him get too far away from me. He's notorious for over thinking our relationship, especially when it comes to the physical aspects, and his fears that he'll hurt me could easily come back to haunt him despite our recent success. Still, it's obvious that Carlisle isn't going to give up and go away, so I try and scramble under the covers, even more awkward and clumsier than usual thanks to the fact that I can't use my hands.

Of course Edward finds it funny, and he laughs lightly, placing a cold kiss to the tip of my nose. "Wait, love. I'll get you another shirt."

He's gone and back again in an instant, and though I've seen it before I still get a little awed awed by his speed and agility. In less time than it takes me to blink three times, he's dressed me in a dark gray, sumptuously soft shirt and changed out of his jeans into a t-shirt and dark blue flannel pyjama pants. I can't help smiling athat's sight of him dressed that way. Who would have thought a supernatural being incapable of sleep would have pyjamas?

He winks at me. I shake my head as he opens the door for Carlisle. It's in my mind to call him a show off but the sight of Carlisle moving towards me reminds me that he's just been an auditory witness to our private recent activities. I can feel the heat of a blush creeping up my neck and over my face, half wishing Edward thought to dress me in clothes that didn't flaunt what we were just doing. Wearing nothing except his shirt, even with the added coverage of the blankets, leaves me feeling very exposed and slightly lecherous. Like the bad girl who's just been caught trying to climb out the window by her boyfriend's parents.

Carlisle smiles and sits next to me on the bed, his face layered in his professional physician's mask with no sign of even recognizing my discomfort. I relax a bit and sink back against the cool pillows while he quickly unwraps the bandages that swaddle my aching hands.

"How's the pain, Bella?" he asks quietly.

I can't tell what he's thinking when he's examining my hands, but I am determined not to be a cry-baby. After all, it was my own stupidity that got me into this mess, and the burns aren't serious. Ugh, they definitely look gross though.

"It's not bad," I say nonchalantly, grateful that my voice doesn't give me away. I'm lying through my teeth, of course. The burns might be minor but the pain is awful. In fact with the exception of those few minutes of pure bliss that I experienced with Edward, the pain has been unrelenting. I'm not so dumb however to give either of them an opening into the topic of burning. That would inevitably lead into a discussion about all the ways I can expect to suffer when the time comes for my change. No, my lips are sealed. If I can't cope with this, Edward will have a field day with it, and I will never hear the end of the comparisons.

Carlisle nods, but I see Edward wince and swear softly in my mind. Carlisle would know I'm lying and by default, of course, so will my mind reading fiancé.

"I need to reapply the salve okay?" He says gently, not really asking, though he's phrased it like my opinion matters.

I knew this part was coming, and still my stomach twists in knots at the thought. Even just the warm touch of air against my palms feels like acid eating away at my flesh, never mind what's next. Still, I keep my expression as neutral as possible, suck in a quick breath and nod. I'm firmly resolved to not be a wimp. Right up until the first pass of his fingers that is, then I have to close my eyes, lean back, and jam my heels as hard as I can into the bed. So much for not being a wimp. It's probably too much to hope Edward won't notice my actions, but I do it anyway.

It's over in only seconds, and I'm surprised enough I actually need a moment to think before I realize Carlisle has spared me as much discomfort as he possibly can. I say a silent prayer in thanks for the fact that my knowledge of his true nature has just benefited me in a very positive way. If I wasn't in _'the know,'_ he would have had to play human, and that would have been possibly more than my resolve could handle. The shock has worn off, and the pain seems worse than when I first did the damage.

I give Carlisle a quick kiss, murmuring my thanks and examining my hands in awe. I barely felt him rewrap them, and already the anaesthetic effect of the salve is slowly beginning to cool the fiery burning.

Carlisle stands up with a slight laugh, obviously amused by my human idiocies. "Have you eaten anything today, Bella?"

His question throws me. I can't make the connection, though I answer him anyway. "I had breakfast before I came."

He scowls slightly and begins to lecture me on the needs of my body, and though I feel he's overreacting, I politely nod. Edward is beginning to look concerned, and I can see that he's heading for the familiar territory of berating himself for not taking proper care of me. I want to tell Carlisle to knock it off already, and I grit my teeth in frustration with both of them. They really are ridiculous in their assumptions about how fragile I am. A human doctor would have long since slapped a little cream on my hands and sent me on my way. And a human boyfriend would have sympathized for an hour or so before leaving me to my own devices. I appreciate the concern, but it's overdone and it isn't going to take long for their attentions to become super annoying. Especially if it affects my just barely begun sex life.

I argue that I'm not hungry, managing to keep my voice level and hoping to end this quickly. If I thought it would help, I'd start demanding food and scarfing it down. Unfortunately, Carlisle's already launching into a new line of attack, switching from eating to drinking.

"Fluids are extremely important, and I'm concerned you may already be dehydrated. The shock of an injury can deplete your body quite rapidly." He sounds like he's quoting straight out of a medical textbook. I suppose that's an occupational hazard. It doesn't make it any less annoying.

I barely resist rolling my eyes and yelling enough already. Does he not hear himself? And Edward is definitely getting that look in his eyes. If I don't find a way to turn the mood, the only thing he and I will be doing for the rest of the night is fighting.

Studying me with way too much speculation Carlisle begins to ask yet another question, "Have you…"

Edward doesn't let him finish. "No she hasn't."

Oh, for the love of…Seriously he needs to get a life, it can't be healthy even for him to be so aware of everything. "She hasn't what?" I ask, playing dumb for the moment. I'm gratified to see him squirm a little.

"Carlisle was just wondering if you have a preference for a beverage." His lie isn't very good, and I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from grinning. It's fun to be the one making him uncomfortable for a change.

"And I don't?" I ask, playing along.

He blinks unnecessarily several times and even fidgets slightly. I have to look away so I don't laugh. "Sorry, love, I should have asked you first of course. I was just concerned that you really do need to drink something." That part at least is true, and I see his irritation with himself growing again. I strive to head it off at the pass before it can get out of hand.

"Hmm, and here I thought he was going to ask me something way more doctorish, like when was the last time I peed or something like that. You know, since he brought up the whole fluids topic." I wink at Carlisle who no longer looks concerned with me but now looks amused with Edward, and we both start to laugh. It feels good even if Edward scowls and looks annoyed.

He rolls his eyes at me as Carlisle leaves the room, though I can see the hint of amusement that keeps his expression light. "So, miss mind reader, do you?"

"Do I what? Have to pee? Not right now thanks, but maybe later?" Carlisle's laughter floats down the hall before cutting off with the sound of a closing door, and I giggle helplessly at the look on Edwards face.

"Do you have a preference for a beverage?" He speaks slowly, and though he's trying to sound cranky I can see he's actually trying not to laugh along.

I make an attempt to get him to give up and come lay with me again. Despite his concerns for me and my human needs, I can see in his eyes that he wants to do just that. It isn't going to happen without me appeasing in some small way his new found Carlisle induced concerns. Mentally snorting in irritation, I finally ask for water, and he disappears and reappears in mere seconds. Of course he doesn't just have a glass, he has an entire pitcher, and I grit my teeth in frustration.

A full glassful of water later, held by him no less because God forbid he let me be self sufficient in any way tonight, I lean back and make a face. I wasn't thirsty before, and now I just feel gross. I'm flabbergasted when he actually starts to fill the glass again.

"Edward, seriously, I can't drink anymore," I whine and then add that I'll probably throw up just for good measure, which thankfully gets him to set down the glass.

"For later then. If my knowledge of human biology is correct, I rather think we need you to keep it down if we're to appease Carlisle's concerns.

Once again I'm back to being the one who's uncomfortable. I blush ridiculously as he chuckles and pulls me onto his lap. My embarrassment fades rather quickly, however, when he tugs off his t-shirt and throws it on the floor. His body is unbelievably perfect, and I instantly feel warm in a whole different way.

Carefully he places my hands against his cold skin, and the burning eases. "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you earlier."

"Having a mind reading vampire fiancé with super powers who is all too aware of my…human moments, isn't the worst thing in the world."

"No?"

"No, it even sometimes has its perks."

"Such as?" he murmurs with a soft laugh, brushing his cool lips over mine and making it difficult to think.

"Such as having my very own ice pack." I shift my hands in demonstration and find a new cooler spot, loving the spreading cold that numbs my pain but hating that I can't really feel him. His tongue touches my lip, and the feeling sends lovely little jolts of pleasure skipping over my body. My belly tightens, and I shift, trying to get closer.

"Shall I get Carlisle so he can give you something for the pain?"

"What pain?" I sigh, and I'm not really lying. His touch, his cold skin, and the taste of his mouth are making the burn slip away.

Of course he's not so easily fooled. Cool hands cup my face, pulling us apart. "Bella, you don't have to be brave all the time. You know I can't stand to see you hurting."

His love, his concern, his impossible tenderness suddenly and potently overwhelm me with need. My body comes alive, and the desire to have him touch me is delicious. "Then distract me, Edward," I moan. "Make it go away." Not wanting him to refuse me, I press close and kiss him hungrily, surprised when he instantly groans in reaction and lays me down on the bed. This new less reluctant Edward is going to take some getting used to, though I already have plans to enjoy the process as often as possible.

I forget about my hands completely as his mouth devours mine, and I wrap my arms around his neck. He instantly captures my wrists and starts to move them back once again to the pillow, but I whimper and plead with him to let me keep them where they were.

"Okay, love but you must be so careful…" He says something else but the feel of him over top of me makes it impossible to concentrate. Soft sparks of warmth are quickly spreading everywhere, and my muscles feel soft and tense all at the same time.

"I'll be careful, I promise," I whisper, not really even knowing what I need to be careful of, just knowing that the words are the only thing that will ease his overprotective nature and get him to finally let go.

His hands wrap around my waist, and he lifts me effortlessly until I'm straddling him. His impossible strength thrills me, and I can feel myself growing wet in response to that thrill. I know that he will never hurt me but the idea that he could, the power I can feel in him that he leashes so tightly, triggers a response deep inside my core. I melt against him, rock against him, and when I press against his hardness, when I recognize his arousal, I practically come right then. He shudders against me, and the feeling intensifies.

"Tell me what you're thinking?" My voice is soft and unsteady. I _need_ to know. My body already feels out of control, and I desperately want to know if he feels the same.

Edward laces cool kisses over my neck and right beneath my ear, a place so sensitive I can feel it all the way down to my toes.

"I'm thinking that I love you, that I adore you, that you've never been more beautiful." His fingers brush up against the bare skin between my breasts as he slips the buttons open on the shirt, and I can't help moan. I always knew his touch would feel good, but I never could have guessed just how good. "I'm thinking this shirt has too many damn buttons."

Ahh, the first sign that his impatience actually matches mine. I smile and let my head fall back when his knuckles skim my thighs. Darts of heat radiate from that simple cool touch, and a slow soft throbbing settles between my legs.

"I'm thinking," he groans "That you make me ache with wanting you. I'm thinking that I…"

His words are making me hotter, and I suddenly can't stand to not touch him in some way. I barely recognize that I'm losing control, all I know is I need him. I tighten my arms around him and press my mouth to his neck. His impossibly sweet scent goes straight to my head, not to mention other places as I trace his skin with my tongue. God, he tastes even better. I move my mouth up his throat and lick the same place beneath his ear that he had kissed on me, hoping that it might hold even half the sensation that I felt. Then I suck the lobe of his ear into my mouth, scrape the hard cool surface of it with my teeth, and before I can even comprehend the movement, he has me laying back on the bed once again.

He growls with a sound that barely resembles my name, kissing me with a lack of restraint so unlike him it's positively lethal. My whole body feels this kiss, and I arch against him, needing some kind of friction. Oh, God, I want him inside of me so badly.

Pulling back abruptly he growls again and shakes his head. "I'm thinking you are making it very hard to think!"

I want to tell him not to think, but my own thought processes are falling apart faster than his. When he scoops me up and drags the rest of the shirt off my body, I lose them completely. I somehow manage to keep my legs wrapped around him when he lowers me yet again, and frantically begin kissing his chest. I need to be as close as possible to him, need to taste his skin, feel the coolness under my hands so much so that I don't even notice the pain until it's too late. Already he's grabbing my wrists and yanking them over my head, and it forces my body down onto the mattress and away from him.

"Bella, God…" I've never heard his voice so rough before. I watch in fascination as his face contorts and his breathing escalates. He doesn't even need air. I'm fascinated and turned on beyond belief by how incredibly glorious he looks, poised above me like a dark devil. His hips push down against mine, the flannel of his pants rubbing roughly and deliciously against my center, making me ache. Spasms of pleasure ripple outward from the point of contact, a tiny climax that does absolutely nothing to satisfy me. Suddenly the fact that I'm naked and he is not takes over. I want to see him, feel him. I want him pressed against my body, cold and solid and mine.

"Not fair," I moan, but lose the ability to form a coherent request when he begins kissing my breasts.

"What's not fair, love?" he asks. His cool breath, the soft touch of his lips brushing back and forth across my nipples, has me crying out.

"You…" I cannot finish the sentence. My hips are moving like I have no control over them, arching upwards, my legs squeezing around him. I'm beginning to tremble as another small wave of bliss spills over me.

Edward lets go of my wrists with one hand and uses it to stroke his fingertips over the shaking muscles of my thigh. Slowly he wraps it around my hip, and I arch again as his strong hands slide over my flesh, reach beneath us and lift me harder and closer against him. My chest presses against his, cold meeting hot, and I literally have to fight not to orgasm. I clench my legs tighter and hold my breath, aching but I won't give in until I get what I want.

"You…I'm naked and you're…" Poised on the edge, striving with everything in me not to let go, and he just pushes me farther. I almost hate how easy it is for him. I can tell he knows how crazy he's making me, and I groan his name in frustration.

"Edward…no, I want you, too…I need to feel you, see you…Please." I feel a bit smug when I manage to get the words out, I feel even better still when I see how my words affect him. His body grows even more rigid, and he stops breathing completely. I know without a doubt that he's fighting to stay in control, just like I know that if he has his way his pants will stay on. He really does have medieval standards of morality, and while he is more than willing to give pleasure he isn't about to take any more of it then he already has.

Stubborn,, gorgeous pig-headed, sexy vampire. Two can play at this game. More determined than ever, I raise my legs and dig my heels into the tops of his thighs, thankful that nothing I can do will hurt him. Pushing down hard with my feet, I drag them down his legs, taking his pants with them, bit by bit.

"Bella, stop," he groans, though there is little conviction in his tone. In fact he sounds more like he's begging.

"Why?" I'm suddenly frustrated with him, with this. I need more, and I'll be damned if I'm just going to lay her and be played like an instrument, no matter how amazingly well he hits every perfect note.

"Love…I can't, it's too much, you're…" I can feel the tip of him brush against me. My heart feels like it wants to slam out of my chest. Every inch of me is on fire with just this small amount of contact. His normally perfect and articulate language skills are falling apart, proof that he wants this as much as I do.

"I'm naked, you're not…it's hardly fair." I can feel him moving back, and I want to sob with frustration. Then suddenly his eyes are locked on mine, and his expression clearly tells me I've won. I hear a thin tearing sound and the flannel falls away from his body down onto mine. Slowly he pulls it away from us, and I watch feeling nervous and unbearably excited.

When I lift my head and look back up at him, I can barely breathe. His expression is anxious, hungry. Needing his kiss, I tilt my head up to his and whisper once again that it isn't fair.

Instinctively he gives me what I want, his lips moving over mine again and again, and when he finally pulls away I am trembling with need, on fire and almost desperate for contact.

He groans loudly. "Fair? I haven't got any more clothes, love."

It takes me a moment to even realize what he means. "Not that," I whisper. "You, even _that_ part of you is beautiful."

Shaking his head at me, he looks like he wants to laugh, but the tension between us has reached a level of almost painful intensity. We are both on the edge of losing all reason, though I can see my comment is helping him regain some of his lost control. At this point I'm actually glad for that. I don't have much left, and one of us is going to need to remember what our boundaries are. I can't even remember my own name.

"Some men might find that descriptive slightly unflattering, love." His voice is still soaked in a rough sexy quality, but he manages a very tight chuckle of amusement when he sees my expression.

"Oh, right." My experience is a bit lacking, but obviously I'd have to be completely oblivious not to know that men prefer better adjectives than beautiful. "This is where I'm supposed to use terms like massive and enormous, correct?" I'm trying to keep my tone of voice light and teasing because the truth of the matter is besides thinking him beautiful, those are the exact words I would have followed up with. My stomach tightens in an odd combination of desire and terror. There is no way in hell that we will fit, and the only thing that is keeping me from running away is the fact that I'm positive he isn't going to allow us to get to that point. That and the fact that he's returned his attentions to my breasts. The way he's touching me makes me rethink my ideas on whether or not I'm happy about what he will or will not allow.

"Hmm, yes those descriptives are much more acceptable. The male ego is a fragile thing." He's teasing, but I can't even roll my eyes. His touch is driving me insane, his talented fingers making the ache between my legs grow to unbearable heights.

"I doubt the word fragile…is a…term that anyone would…oh." Suddenly he moves against me, that part of him pressing completely against that part of me. His cool temperature slides against the burning center of my core and electric shockwaves of sweetness engulf every nerve ending in my body. I can feel myself opening, feel him sliding against me, and it's almost perfect and then…

"Edward, oh yes." He's there, the tip of him stroking firmly against my clit, cold against hot, hard against soft, and I'm melting all around him. I can't form coherent thoughts or words, I can only moan and press against his touch. I'm aching to take him inside and yet this alone is so perfect, so incredibly erotic, having him sliding against me, over me. Everything about it, him above me, the sound of his breathing so harsh and uncharacteristic, drives me closer and closer to the point of no return.

"Bella, love, God you are so hot, so wet for me…Unghhh, sweetheart yes." I've made him lose control again, and heat spreads across my skin at his words, at his praise. He cups my hips, releasing my hands and raising me further up against him. His skin feels impossibly cold and delicious, the perfect counterpoint to my burning, and I wrap my hands around his shoulders trying to hold on tighter, to get our bodies even closer.

His voice in my ear tells me he's feeling everything I am and more. "Careful my angel, careful." Panting, torn between keeping our bodies anchored together and still wanting to protect me. Always wanting to protect me even now when he should be consumed by his own wants. I quickly move my hands to his ribcage, locking them there so he won't break the perfect connection between us. Trembling, I brace my legs around his hips, moving against him, with him.

"More," I moan. My mind goes blank. I need more, he's moving but he's too controlled, too gentle. He gets it immediately, and his pace quickens, his hands pulling me closer, his body pressing tighter. A flash of pain skids over my hands, and I realize I'm hanging on to him too tightly. I let go, dropping my hands to my sides.

Edward falters, and I almost lose my mind. He has me so close, right on the edge, and though I can see he's afraid that I've hurt myself, all I can do is plead. "Edward don't…" I gasp. "Please…keep…going, oh, God, I need you so much."

Instantly he finds his lost momentum, and I can't help watching as he moves his erection back and forth over me. I should be shocked or bothered, but all I am is insanely hot at the sight of us moving together. Him and I as close as we've ever been…

"Bella, love…I'm so close."

Oh, dear God, he's driving me insane, my heart feels like any second it's going to stop. My entire body feels like it's going to explode, the feeling so powerful it's overwhelming. Everything inside of me is drawing in tighter and tighter with each stroking movement. I've never felt so out of control, and I whimper his name, arching hard against his body, against the feel of his hard cold length.

He knows I'm almost there, and I can feel his body growing harder, my own perfect, cool, marble statue come to life. His muscles bunch and contract. I can feel him growing, becoming even firmer between my legs, and oh I want him so badly, need him, only him, so much.

"Yes," the perfect growl spills out of him and over me, the vibration of it resonating through his throat and over my skin, his mouth on mine, his breath filling my lungs. "I want you, Bella." His words are like his touch, drawing me deeper and deeper… "Give yourself to me…" As if I could deny him, as if I want to deny him. I'm already his, but he won't stop… dear God, I don't want him to stop. "Let me feel you come."

My body belongs to him, my mind, my heart, every fibre of my being is his to control. With his words I can feel the tension grow to impossible dimensions, like a rubber band deep inside my body being stretched further and further, and I'm ready to snap. Some small part of me manages to remember not to scream out, though I don't know why, only that I can't, I mustn't. I pull my lower lip into my mouth, biting down and closing my throat muscles as I spin closer and closer to relief, clinging to Edward as I begin to fall apart.

"No, don't you dare." His voice is loud and commanding. Not a tone you'd ever argue with. I open my eyes, lock them onto his beautiful face so dark with his desire he's almost frightening. I'm hanging on the edge, and my heart throbs in time with my aching body.

His expression softens, turns tender. "Don't bite your lip. Don't hide your pleasure from me, Bella, I want all of it." There is nothing tender about his tone. His voice is dark, heavy with lust, commanding and powerful. He whispers my name and begins to move again, his eyes burning down on me. "No one's here, love. No one will hear you but me."

I want what he wants, and my eyes roll back as my body draws in one last final time, the band inside stretched to its very limit. I stay locked there, poised on the sweetest brink for the longest time, as though I'm waiting for his final command. I say his name, half plea half prayer, knowing with every part of my soul that I am his, only his, and that this, my final pleasure, belongs as much to him as it does to me.

"Yes, love like that, say my name and let go, let me please you…" His body moves faster, fused together with mine, and I feel him shudder, feel his body expand all around me.

"Come with me," he groans loudly, and the second I feel the cool spill of his release the band inside snaps. I cry out, disintegrating into a thousand pieces.

Edward growls my name again and again, and each time he says it a new wave pulls me closer to him, reforms my body until once more I'm whole. I wrap my arms around him, careful of my hands as I whisper his name, more than a little awed, more than a little loved.


	9. Turning up the Heat Epov

**A/N Once again reader's choice was an overwhelming landslide win for Edward's POV. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 9 

Turning up the Heat (EPOV)

"_Edward."_

Bella's arms slide over my back, a soft sigh escaping her lips as she says my name one last time. Slight tremors still course over her body like small aftershocks of her pleasure, and I press my lips softly against her temple. Her skin is damp and fragrant, and the flavour of her is sharper and sweeter as though the very essence of her blood has escaped through her pores. Her legs are still wrapped around my waist, our bodies still intimately pressed together, and she shudders slightly in reaction as I gently pull away. She makes a small sound of opposition, and I can't help smiling.

Swiftly, not bothering with human motions, I grab my t-shirt from the side of the bed and clean the traces of our lovemaking from her skin and mine. I have her back in my arms before her slower reactions can really understand what I've done. Or so I think until she sighs and smiles shyly.

"I hope you do your own laundry, Edward."

I watch as her cheeks, already flushed and lovely, grow darker, the warmth radiating off her skin onto mine. Brushing her hair gently away from her shoulder I kiss the satin curve, breathing her in and relishing the increased potency of her scent. The unique floral of her blood, the warm musk of her desire, the delicate perfume of her skin, all combining with the earthy scent of sex and _me_. As though I've marked her. I inhale slowly, drinking her in, filling my lungs with her, with us and with the love we've made before releasing it with a groan. The burn in my throat is different, no less powerful or painful, but definitely less distracting. My thoughts remain clear, and though my thirst is engaged no demons call for action. I slowly trail kisses over her shoulder and up her neck, pausing at her pulse and tasting the rhythm of her heartbeat with my tongue. A slight shiver of reaction makes her sigh, and I smile against her flesh. Her complete and utter trust is, as always, irrational and humbling.

"You do, do your own laundry, don't you?"

My smile grows, and I give her throbbing pulse that quickens even as she speaks, one last lick. Pulling back I immerse myself in her eyes, memorizing the way she looks in this moment, awed by her beauty. With her heightened flush of color and her lips swollen and red from my kisses, she is tempting beyond belief. Her tousled hair is slightly damp at her temples, and her eyes are sated and slightly drowsy. A feeling of pure masculine pride, unknown before now, fills me with happiness. Knowing that I have pleased her, that I have loved her well, is undeniably thrilling. Knowing that this is only the beginning for us and that I have only begun to learn her body is even more thrilling. Our limited success has lifted a weight from my shoulders and though I still have fears, I push them away and bask in our afterglow.

"A vampire kisses your throat and you're thinking of laundry? Whatever will I do with you, little lamb?"

She smiles slowly at the memory my words induce, and I lean back down to kiss her. I can taste the residual passion on her tongue, and it makes me groan softly. Her heart flutters briefly and its wild little beat sends more of her scent into the air. I instantly feel my arousal growing again. Carefully I pull away, remembering her fragility and knowing it would be so easy to overwhelm her. My needs and desires will always be secondary to hers, but if she knew how much I already wanted her again she would try to put me first, as she always does.

"I am a modern self sufficient man living in a house full of modern self sufficient women. If I didn't do my own laundry, it wouldn't get done."

She laughs softly, delighting me with her happiness and her contentment. "Hmm, well the way Alice shops you probably hardly ever have to do laundry."

Her brow furrows suddenly and a new darker stain of red paints her skin. "Speaking of family members? Did you mean it when you…uh, told me it was…I mean, when you said no one was here?"

She's so adorable, I'm unable to resist teasing her just a bit. Sweeping my mouth up her neck, I pause at her ear and whisper seductively, "I don't believe I said no one was here, love. I believe I said no one would hear you but me."

"Edward?"

She sounds truly upset and that fact has me quickly dropping the playfulness from my tone. "Shh, I'm only teasing you. Carlisle left to check on some of his patients at the hospital, and the others haven't come back yet."

Her body relaxes. "Oh."

"Bella, you do realize that it's impossible to have secrets of any kind in this family?" I keep my voice gentle, not wanting to upset her but afraid that when my brothers and sisters come home she may be in for a hard time.

She groans and then laughs quietly. "Emmett probably is going to be all over us for weeks, won't he?"

I join in her laughter, pleased that she understands and even a bit proud of her. I know Emmett's teasing will be hard to take, but she's always been strong.

Lifting her face to me, she offers her mouth for kisses I grant eagerly. A bit too eagerly apparently because when I draw away she studies me with a small sexy smile.

"So as long as we have the house to ourselves?"

I am more than tempted, and a slight ache rapidly makes itself known. I still haven't fulfilled my wish to take my time and love her slowly and completely, and that thought instantly has my body responding. Her human needs have to come first though, and I want very much to make sure those are taken care of. Still, when she presses her lithe, hot little body against mine, best intentions are extremely hard to keep in the forefront of my thoughts.

Before things get out of hand, I move off the bed and pick up the gray shirt I dressed her in earlier, holding it open to her like I would a coat. "Dinner first," I say firmly. Her expression puckers into a frown.

"Edward, I'm really not hungry."

I can see that she's not, and the fact that I haven't heard her stomach make even the slightest of noises is proof of that. I study her face, not surprised to still see the slight markers of pain, and wrack my mind for something that may tempt her appetite. Smiling, I latch on to the perfect one. "Not even for blueberry pancakes?"

A hint of interest sparks in her eyes, and she views me contemplatively. "Blueberry pancakes? As in real, homemade, blueberry pancakes?"

Knowing I have her, I chuckle quietly. "Yes, love. Real homemade blueberry pancakes."

Sighing slightly she sits up and allows me to help her into the shirt. As I do up the buttons I can't resist letting my fingers brush repeatedly against her skin. She pouts slightly when I reach the top one, so I undo it again and kiss the tip of her nose and her sensual little mouth, though I keep it light. She hasn't eaten since breakfast and it's now after five. She really does need something in her stomach.

I pull on a pair of pants quickly. "Do you want to come down and watch me cook? Or would you rather stay here and rest for a bit?"

"I think I've had more than enough rest for one day," she replies, already standing and making her way to the door. Her remark makes me smile; she has an odd interpretation of the word rest. Quickly I move behind her and sweep her off her feet and into my arms.

"Edward, I can walk."

"Yes, but that's not half as much fun for me, love." She laughs and shakes her head, and I carry her to the kitchen, maintaining a normal human pace so I can enjoy the feel of her in my arms as long possible. Once in the kitchen, I set her down on the island and immediately begin pulling ingredients, grateful for Esme's 'keeping up appearances' shopping. Since Bella has been in our lives, Esme's taken to stocking the cupboards even more methodically than before. I easily locate the ingredients I need.

"What do you do with all this food?" Bella asks, watching me curiously. She knows Esme shops every few weeks and understands the necessity of such an illogical action, but she's never seen the cupboards quite so full. I've tried to tell Esme that this isn't necessary, but her mothering instincts are too strong to fight. Her one human child will never want for anything even if she rarely actually eats here.

"All the non-perishables go to a homeless shelter in Port Angeles. Every time Esme shops, Carlisle or Emmett will clean out the pantry and make a trip to donate the food." Not just food but also money, the entire operation is completely dependent on Cullen funding, but I omit that fact from my explanations. Bella has no problem with my wealth in general, as long as it doesn't pertain to me buying things for her, and she'd no doubt be pleased by our generosity. However, the lengthy list of charities and organizations that we support has gotten so extensive she would probably find it overwhelming.

"The perishables are a bit of a problem. Esme tries to be careful with those. She chooses mostly things that can be turned into compost for her garden. Staple items like eggs and milk and bread are all dropped off immediately at the elementary school for the breakfast program." Again with money and dozens of other food items. Esme has managed to turn a necessary waste into a charitable blitz.

Bella, always observant, smiles. "So the very extensive playground equipment that was just put in the school yard, is that part of the breakfast program?"

I finish whisking the ingredients together and test the readiness of the pan with a licked finger before turning and kissing her mouth softly. "Possibly." Her intuitive intelligence never ceases to delight me.

Pressing her hands to my bare chest with a soft sigh she frowns at me. "Did you just touch that hot pan with your finger?"

I stroke her wrists gently with my fingertips, silently berating myself for reminding her of her discomfort. "Yes, sorry, under the circumstance that probably wasn't something you'd want to see." Carefully I raise her hands to my lips and kiss the tips of her fingers, purposely blowing my cool breath against her palms in an effort to soothe her.

"Did you have trouble with the cell phone today, Bella? Is that why you didn't call and ask me for help, or we're you just being independent?"

She sighs, and I feel some of the tension slip from her hands as my cold breath numbs her pain. "Both."

I arch an eyebrow at her before releasing her hands and turning back to the stove and her dinner. If I thought it would do any good I'd chastise her, but I know it's pointless. After today, however, I am determined that such a thing will never happen again. Regardless of the state of her truck when it returns, she will no longer be driving it. One of her new cars will be here in less than two days and with her hands in the condition they are she will be unable to drive for at least a week. Plenty of time to get her used to the idea of retiring that monstrosity of a truck.

The batter begins to bubble in the pan, and I turn and offer her one of the plump little berries from the bowl. She opens her mouth without protest and keeps her hands resting in her lap as I pass the round little fruit over her lips, laying it on her tongue. Her lips brush the tips of my fingers as her mouth closes, and I watch fascinated as she chews slowly, savouring the tart, sweet flavour that permeates the air with its fragrance.

"Ummm, those are so good," she groans softly. I feed her a few more, fascinated with the way her throat muscles flex with each swallow. She really has no idea how exquisitely sensual she is.

I quickly finish the pancakes and lay them on a plate for her, pouring the last of the berries in the bowl over top. Uncapping the syrup bottle, I hold it over them, letting the liquid drizzle out slowly. "Say when, love."

She waits until I've all but drowned them in a small pool before finally smiling with content and saying 'when.'

I can't help chuckle lightly as I cut them into portions. "They may need a life raft."

Slowly I offer her the bite and all amusement at her sweet tooth vanishes. For a brief second her eyes touch the food, and I can see her desire for it, then just as quickly her eyes move to me and the desire takes on a whole new meaning. Fascinated, I place the fork against her lips and watch as she slowly draws the morsel into her mouth. Her tiny pink tongue seems to stroke the underside of each tong. When she closes her mouth and I draw the utensil away, her eyes flutter then close. The softest moan spills from her throat as she swallows, and her head tilts back slightly for a moment. Gradually she opens her eyes.

"Good?" I can barely form the word as the sensation of heat coils through my insides, making me instantly hard. My voice is barely recognizable, and she nods as though entranced by the lingering trace of taste in her mouth. The fragrant steam rising from the cakes seems to fill the entire kitchen. Although human food no longer appeals to me, when I place another bite in her mouth even I can't deny its allure.

Bella's eyes have never left mine.

She savours the third bite, holding it in her mouth just a bit longer before swallowing so that the fourth bite that I'm holding at the ready begins to drip. The golden drops of syrup fall, and I catch them with the tip of my finger. When she swallows the next bite, I brush them lightly over her lips. Her tongue slips out to catch the sticky sweetness. When she turns her head and flicks her tongue over my fingers, it's my turn to moan.

More syrup drips from the next bite. Distracted, I fail to catch all of it. Hypnotized, my eyes follow that single missed amber bead down to where it lands on the pale creamy skin of her thigh. Licking the last of the syrup from her lips, Bella opens her mouth for the next bite. This time I don't even bother trying to catch the falling liquid. The heat from the pancakes has turned the sticky fluid soft, and the warmth of it against my finger is nothing in contrast to the scalding heat of Bella's mouth as she wraps it around the tip. She sucks softly, and I hiss in reaction. Pulling it from her mouth slowly it makes a popping sound, and as her tongue once again dances across her bottom lip, I almost lose my mind.

Somehow I manage not to take her right then and there. The electric heat between us is so charged I can feel it against my skin, and I know she can too. With each bite the syrup seems to lose more and more of its consistency so that it soon coats my fingers and her lips. A drop slides over her chin, and I watch fascinated as it slowly cascades down, disappearing momentarily in the shadows of her jaw line before re-emerging in a slow trickle down the pale column of her throat.

The fork clatters back against the plate hard enough to crack it, and I catch Bella's hand just in time as it begins to ghost up toward her neck. I groan her name softly, just once, and lean in and place my mouth over the end of that thin line of syrup. The taste is overpoweringly sweet and noxious, but only for an instant before the flavour of Bella's skin drowns it out, masks it with her perfection. I lick her clean, trailing my tongue along the entire meandering path it fell down until I reach her open panting mouth. With a loud growl, I seal it with my own.

My mind is almost entirely consumed by her taste, her feel, the vibration of her whimper. Even the part that is not struggles to digest the fact that each previous moment of passion that we have shared today only seems to fuel the next, raising the level of intensity. I need to slow this down immediately or I will take her, fully, right now, right here. Pulling away, I slowly lower her from the island and sink to my knees before her, using my tongue to remove the last sticky drops from her thighs. The syrup is repulsive, but her skin, ah, dear God, her skin is divine.

"Edward, oh..." The muscles beneath my hands tremble, and her words are soaked in heat, making her voice a husky, low, sensuous whisper that consumes and ignites me.

Her skin is so warm, so supple, so impossibly delicate. Her scent overpowers the taste of the syrup so I don't even notice its lingering vague unpleasantness as I move higher up, past the last traces of stickiness. When I reach the hemline of the shirt, I take it in my mouth, preparing to tear the fabric away from my goal with my teeth. The scent of her, the moist heat I can feel just beyond my touch, slips past the barrier of cotton as though it isn't even there. Dangerous, so dangerous what I want, what I need, I have to be so careful. Her knees suddenly give out. As she begins to fall some small part of my sanity returns, and I'm already up, moving, sweeping her away from the ground. I find her mouth again instantly, and she whimpers, twisting slightly in my arms, trying to get closer, and I _want_ her closer, God, I want her closer. I want to lay her down on the floor and spread her legs. I want to put my mouth on her and get drunk off the pure, sweet essence of her wetness. I want to join our bodies, bury myself in her, press so deep and hard inside of her hot wet warmth, and make her pant and writhe and moan my name again and again…

The sudden brush of her bandages against my chest drags me from my haze, and I break our kiss and groan her name. My breathing is rapidly shallow, and I stop the action completely, striving for control.

Bella's eyes are open. The desire I see there easily matches mine, and her heart beats like a butterfly's wings. I freeze all my muscles, lock them down and pull the tattered edges of myself back together, piece by agonized piece.

"Are you okay?" Her voice is soft, coated in silk spun from her desire. The faintest of tremors dance over her body.

I breathe out, slowly releasing the air I trapped in my lungs and refill them with her. Flowers, and berry, and syrup, and the pure ambrosia of heat and arousal.

"God, love, how I want you." I whisper, brushing my mouth against hers.

"You can have me, Edward." Her breath is warm and delicious, and I lick softly at her lip. She tilts her head back farther, trying to increase the contact but I pull away. "I want you too," she moans, frustrated by my restraint. I wonder if she knows how close I just came to taking her virginity on a freezing cold kitchen floor. If she did know, would she still feel the same?

My need to claim her is powerful, but I will not break our promise to one another. The fact that there are still so many things I can do, for her, with her, eases my tension and reminds me of earlier goals. She is far too tempting for her own good, not to mention mine. I'm determined to hold on to my self control now, though. I have waited so long for her, for this. Impatient aggression has been my enemy all day, but no more.

"Slowly this time, Bella. Let me love you slowly."

A stronger tremor races over her, and she nods. Allowing my locked body to relax, I move and carry her back to my room, kissing her passionately the entire way. I have no need to look where I'm going, and I don't break the kiss until I place her on the edge of the bed.

"Wait, I'll be right back." I move swiftly now, pausing at the thermostat that I've had installed that controls the temperature of just this room, increasing the heat by a few more degrees. Then I collect the rest of the things I need and return to Bella only a few minutes later. Taking her wrists, I gently tug her to her feet and pull the gold comforter from the bed, laying it on the floor. I add a few pillows and then kneel, gently drawing her down until she rests on her knees in front of me.

Her eyes show her trust, but I can see her looking at the items I've lain out on the floor with a slight tinge of anxiety. "What are you doing?" she whispers.

Smiling I begin to unbutton her top, forcing my overly eager fingers to follow mortal rules of pace. When I reach the last one, I slide my hands inside around her waist. Skimming them up her ribs and the swells of her breasts until I reach her shoulders, then draw the shirt down her back and off her body.

"You are so beautiful, Bella. I could spend eternity just looking at you and it still would never be enough to make me content." A small flush of color blossoms in her cheeks at my words, though she remains quiet and watchful. Brushing my fingers against her neck, I touch them briefly to a tiny sticky smudge and then hold my hand up for her in illustration. "I missed a few spots," I murmur, and her blush grows, entrancing me as usual. "I'm going to bathe you, love."

Her eyes dance over to the basin of steaming water and then back to me. Her hesitation is palpable. Before she can say a word, I lay my fingers against her mouth. "Let me care for you, Bella." My words are not formed as a request, and when I see her eyes flare in heat I realize she likes that. I allow a small grin of pleasure to touch my mouth. Leaning closer, I kiss her tenderly, drawing back the instant she begins to try and move closer to me.

"Be still, love." She looks surprised at my order but does as I ask, subsiding back away from me. A small frown creases her brow in consternation, a tiny pout pursing her delectable little mouth.

"I told you, I want to take my time, Bella, and I meant every word…"

* * *

**A/N Yes, I know - mean, lol. Sorry but you heard him, he **_**wants**_** to "**_**take his time**_**" and I'm certainly not going to rush him, are you? ;)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Once again reader's choice was for EPOV. Imagine that. ;-)**

* * *

"_I told you, I want to take my time, Bella and I meant every word…" Edward / Chapter 9 _

Chapter 10

Bella Ablaze (EPOV)

I've closed the shutters on the glass wall of windows. I've lit dozens of candles and placed them around the room. I thought about music, and then just as quickly discounted it. I want absolutely nothing to compete with the soft, lush strains of Bella's pleasured moans and sighs. When I'm satisfied with the room I move back to her, only returning to natural movement when I reach out and brush her hair from her shoulder. She jumps, slightly uneasy because I'd been moving too fast for her human eyes to follow.

"Sorry, love. I didn't mean to startle you."

"That was…interesting," she whispers. I watch, fascinated as her tongue slips out to wet her lips and she smiles nervously.

Combing my fingers through her hair, I gently twist it into a loose knot and show her the clip with a slight raise of my brows in question. When she nods her assent I snap the clip in place, pinning the mass just above the nape of her neck, before drawing her back against me. She shivers slightly as the warm skin of her back meets the cold skin of my chest although I can tell she isn't uncomfortable. Not with the ducts blowing a steady stream of warm air around the room.

I rest my slightly bent legs on either side of her hips and wrap my hands around her wrists, laying them palms down upon my thighs.

"I don't want to see those hands move, Bella. Not an inch, love; not unless I tell you to. Do you understand me?" I know the sensation of my cold skin will soothe her pain, and not having to be concerned with her movements will most certainly soothe mine. I want her desperately, with an ache that makes it hard to focus and the feeling is as close to physical pain as I will ever come. Her breath leaves her in a shaky sigh and she nods once again, the movement barely perceptible.

Chuckling lightly, I press a soft kiss against the delicate curve where her neck meets her shoulder. "Cat got your tongue?" A tiny new shiver has her sighing and arching her neck, trying to increase the contact with my mouth. "Say the words, love; tell me you won't move your hands."

"I won't move my hands, Edward." Her voice is velvet and silk, breathless.

"Mm, good girl." I am pleased by the way her heart skips a tiny half beat at my request, and even more pleased at her growing arousal. Rewarding her for doing as I ask, I press more kisses to her skin and touch the tip of my tongue to her pulse, feeling it scatter in a rapid flurry of uneven beats. I am almost certain that if I were to place my fingers over her sex right now that I could make her come almost instantly. The temptation to test my theory is very strong, an urge that only grows stronger when she moans softly. Only knowing that the anticipation, the waiting, will make her pleasure all that much more intense gives me the will to resist my hungry need for her response.

I've added a few drops of essential oils to the basin of water, and as I reach in for the cloth the scent of lavender rise's with the steam, enveloping Bella in comfort. The first touch against her skin immediately has her sighing and relaxing further against me. Smiling, I kiss her temple softly and draw the cloth over her slightly arched neck and above her collarbones. I watch in utter fascination as a few drops of water slip down her chest, disappearing beneath her sweetly upturned breasts. A longing to follow their path with my tongue has me groaning softly, but I rein in my desires and move the cloth back to her neck, sweeping it behind and then down her shoulders. I can feel the temperature cooling and so I place it back in the basin, soaking it again in the hot, scented water before bringing it back to her perfect, ivory skin.

Again and again I repeat the process, using an exquisitely gentle touch to wash every satiny inch of Bella's body. Her arms, the tender, inner skin of her elbows, lingering on the pulse point of each wrist, ever mindful of her bandaged hands. Down the nape of her neck, all along each small, encapsulated bump of her spine, the tantalizing curve of her lower back and over her hips. With fresh steam rising from the soft fibres of the washcloth, I tenderly draw it over each breast, watching with barely restrained heat as her nipples pebble into small, hard points beneath my ministrations. She shivers and arches her back as I linger, extending her pleasure, while resisting the ever strengthening urge to drop the cloth and use my hands, my mouth. Throughout it all I murmur soft praises in her ear, tell her how lovely she is, tell her how very much I love her, how much she means to me, how much this means to me.

Moaning she turns her head, silently begging me for kisses and I grant them eagerly as hungry for the taste of her as she is for me. Up until this point she has remained obedient, but as our kissing grows more passionate she shifts, trying to turn, and her hands slide from my thighs. With a low growl I pull my mouth from hers.

"Bella?" My voice is low, darkened with my need, and her eyes flutter open slowly.

"What did I say about moving your hands, love?"

A slight blush colors her cheeks. "Edward, I just want…"

"Do you want me to stop?"

She looks surprised at my question but shakes her head in negation.

"Place your hands back where they were, or I will stop. I've told you already, my love, I want to take my time and I won't have you distracting me or harming yourself with your impulsiveness."

For a moment she looks as though she wants to argue. "Or perhaps you prefer to stop now?" I ask softly, keeping my tone almost neutral, interrupting whatever thoughts she may have been having.

"No, I…"

"Then do as I say, Bella, because I won't say it again."

Her hands move back to my legs slowly, and with enough hesitation to make me smile, though her head is turned away and she can't see my amusement. Such a headstrong creature at times, but I can sense that my dominance, while frustrating her independent nature, is also arousing her. Her heartbeat is just a tiny bit faster, her breathing less steady, and when she settles her body back against mine I can feel a new tension coiling just beneath her skin. It's all I can do not to toss away the stupid barrier of cloth in my hands and touch her the way I really want to.

"Behave," I growl one last warning. Not just to her, but to my faltering self control as well before I resume my task of self imposed torture.

Her skin has taken on a warm, rose color where the heated cloth has touched her and I can't help but groan as I bring the cloth once again from the basin to her flesh. Carefully I sweep it over her stomach, tracing the fragile edges of each rib. Her legs are pressed together, turned and resting against the blanket on her right side, knees bent, and it's all I can do not to tell her to open them for me. Instead I run the cloth over her top thigh and then back again, before dropping it back in the water.

I lift her easily, turning her so that she's cradled within my lap, her warm bottom pressing against my painfully stiff erection. The dampness of her skin sends heat soaking through the thin fabric of my pants, and once again her scent saturates all my senses. Holding her carefully, I slide my arm up her back and wrap my fingers firmly around the base of her neck. Finding only the thinnest threads of control left for my grasp, I growl low in my throat. She shivers in reaction, a tiny whimper escaping her mouth.

"Put your arms around my shoulders, Bella." There is little hesitation in her movements now, and I kiss her deeply, in reward, in need. The honey sweetness of her mouth is far too intoxicating and her soft mewling of pleasure forces me to keep the contact brief. I pull away, reaching once again for the cloth I no longer want. The water is cooling, though still warm enough and her moan deepens as I move it over the tops of her feet, her legs, pausing to grace the impossibly thin, delicate skin behind each knee. Up over each thigh and her legs shift, beginning to part.

"No."

Startled again she hesitates, and I repeat my order. If I touch her now, even with the cloth I'm certain I will lose the battle I'm waging. "Not yet." My unnecessary breathing is becoming uneven and harsh.

"Edward, please," she whimpers, a tiny convulsive shiver wracking her body, and I can feel her wetness beginning to grow, smell the exotic scent of it, of her, and it pulls me in.

"I said no, don't disobey me, love." I keep my tone firm, in control, though I could just as easily beg.

Her groan is deep, almost angry. Her head falls back, but her legs stay tightly pressed together as I tame my breathing and battle my demons back into their respective corners. Slowly I resume my movements. The cloth is leeched of heat from my cold grasp and I'm not surprised when goose bumps break out over her skin as I move it against her thighs and up through her small patch of silken curls. I'm not surprised either when the coolness seems to fire her desire, knowing she feels the similarity between its temperature and mine. A human female should crave the familiar warmth she would find in another mortal, but not Bella. She has long since learned to crave the cold touch of my hands and mouth, and her response thrills me.

_Mine_. She is, and always was, made for me in every way.

My mind and body are at war and as her trembling becomes stronger, both from cold and desire I can't sort out one need from another. Sweeping the cloth against her lower abdomen then back up and around each small breast, I focus on her rapidly beating heart. Striving to distract myself while measuring her responsiveness. A deeper trembling rakes her body and I groan her name again, sweeping my hand back down and pressing against the soft mound of her feminine flesh.

Her eyes open, burning into mine, filled with need and silent pleading and I hold her gaze for a long intense moment, waiting, _waiting,_ until her need is as acute as my own. Softly, taming my voice and my emotions, I very quietly whisper, "Now."

Just as slowly she lets her legs fall open and I slide my hand down, pressing the cloth to her only momentarily, before balling it in my fist and sending it away from her body with a sharp flick. My fingers mold over her heat, press against her, opening the moist flower like petals with a low, deep moan of pained pleasure. Soaking wet, hungry, she arches against me and I don't hesitate, instantly pressing my fingers to her swollen clitoris and stroking quickly. She comes hard, almost violently, her body heat rising with each crashing wave of pleasure so that her skin becomes slick and its all I can do to hold onto her. I slow the pace of my fingers, allowing her to ride out each pulse of her climax without overpowering her, seeking to draw her pleasure out. I could easily take her body there again but I resist the urge, and when the last tremor fades I sweep her up and carry her to the bed. Placing her down near the edge, I drop to my knees and wrap her legs over my shoulders.

Her gasp of surprise barely registers as I pause, only once, to look up at her flushed beautiful face and seek with as few words as possible to bend her to my will. "Hands above your head, Bella."

She starts to move but it's much too slow and hesitant for my liking. A very dark, low growl strips my throat. _"Now!"_

My order, my fierceness, triples her heart rate, saturates her swollen sex with a fresh rush of wetness, and my mouth swims in venom. I swallow it impatiently not even noticing the fire and run my tongue along her inner thigh, one last test to see if what I want is possible. The venom causes only the faintest tinge of color to mark her skin, and she shows no reaction to the sensation other than a small moan.

I clamp my hands around her hips, much more forcefully than any other touch I've ever placed on her body. I can't allow her to move against me. Pinning her to the bed my eyes rake over her sublime form, drinking in the flush of color that marks her desire before meeting her eyes.

"Edward, don't…I… you don't need to…" She wants it. I can see the desire spilling from her eyes, smell and see how impossibly wet she is with need and I know it's only her frail human insecurities making her pause now. I smile without humour and let the full predator that I am slip past my guard.

"If you move your hands, if you move any part of your body, I will not be happy, Bella. You are mine, to do with what I will, now, always, forever. Never forget that, love."

I don't rush. Every instinct I have demands caution and I listen carefully. She is mine to do with as I will, but her soft moan and her arching body shows her complete trust. I must never break that. Slowly I press kisses up her incredibly soft skin, licking gently, tasting her flesh and allowing the full scent of her arousal to soak my every sense. I ache to touch her with my fingers, to open her for my mouth, but I can already feel the coiling tension beneath my hands. Despite my demand I know that there is only so much that Bella can control.

Finally I allow my mouth to brush her curls, greedily drawing in her smell and the full heat and moisture that bathe my face long before I really let myself touch her. One last groan before I lower my mouth to the seam of her sex and blow gently against her heat. Her shudder is hard, her leg muscles tense and I draw back, quickly rethinking her position. I move her farther onto the bed and rest her heels down on the mattress. Open, exposed, so exquisitely beautiful in her passion it's almost unbearable. My patience snaps and I'm on her at once. My mouth eagerly presses against skin so delicate that if not for my raging lust, I'd be terrified of hurting her.

As it is, I am not prepared for the absolute sublime taste of her. Heat and pure Bella. A soft, earthy musk drenched in her floral perfume and I lap at her, trying to find reason and boundaries. I cannot wrap my lips around her flesh; I cannot suckle her or pleasure her the way I want and the frustration tears at me. And yet despite my limitations I cannot get enough. My low groans of pleasure and need seem to add to her bliss as she trembles and cries my name, again, and again. I allow my tongue to dip inside her most intimate place, and she thrashes against my restraint. Though she is no match in any way for my strength, her own pleases me very much. No mortal man could be worthy of her. Still being as careful as possible I run the tip of my tongue up her soaked flesh, opening her further and flicking it roughly over her sweet bud, driving her higher. Her moans have become cries and her back arches hard, forcing me to tighten my grip as her legs tremble in tension. I want to draw out her pleasure, drink it in slowly and languidly, but my need is on fire and so is hers. I lift her hips from the bed, still anchoring her so she can't move, and send her over the edge with quick focused circles of my tongue.

Her loud cries of release rock me to the core and it's all I can do to move away from her. Pleasuring her this way is something I know I could do for hours, days if possible and never grow tired or bored. Suspecting she is overwhelmed I place tender kisses against her thighs and up over her stomach, seeking now to soothe her shaking form and ease any insecurity she might feel. As always Bella does the unexpected. Instead of curling into my arms with sweetness and relaxed satiation, she moves and twists away from me.

Rising to her knees and moving to the edge of the bed she forces me back to my former position at the side. She rests her hands against my waist, and the look in her eyes is such that I fail to notice their slow stealthy movement until they rest against the waistband of my pants. Catching her wrists I still them, and she sighs in barely restrained frustration.

"Take them off, Edward." Her voice is firm, slightly breathless from her climax, but insistent nevertheless.

"Bella…"

"Take them off or I will." She flexes her fingers beneath mine and winces slightly, making me hiss in displeasure.

"You will do no such thing," I reply, beginning to remove her hands from my waist. She can't have forgotten that she has nowhere near the physical strength that would be required to carry out her threat. As usual though, her next words remind me that physical strength is hardly necessary. She has something far more powerful.

"Please." Her gaze burns into mine and my defences, my pitiful excuses, crumble like a house of cards in the face of her desires. I can deny her nothing, not even this.

The pants vanish as though they were never there, and I watch fascinated, and hesitant, as she lowers her eyes. I am aching with suppressed need and her hands twitch in my grasp.

"God, Edward, I want to touch you so much." A soft blush colors her face and I groan in response, wanting it far more than she could.

"Soon, love," I whisper, releasing her hands and cupping her face, gently turning her gaze back up at me. She shakes her head in frustration and whimpers slightly before surprising me yet again.

"I can touch you with my mouth, Edward like you did for me." There is nothing soft about the blush that colors her face now, and I groan again, louder this time as she tries to move to do just that.

"No, love…I can't be sure that…" Her hot breath washes over me and my hands that still hold her face slide around to the back of her head without conscious thought. They literally tremble as I tangle them in the sleek strands of her hair.

"Please, let me…please."

Her breathless pleas undo me and I groan one last time. Tightening my hands I tug her head back, making her arch her neck and look up at me. "Bella…" I close my eyes against the power of her desire before snapping them back open and growling, dangerously low in my throat. A predator, warning their prey. Her reaction as always is off base and instead of being fearful, her arousal grows. Her shiver of reaction sends my lust soaring.

"Careful, love. Slowly and for the love of all that is holy stop the second I tell you to." Conflicting desires war within me. The need I feel is less than respectful. A man of my time does not ask a woman he loves for such a thing and yet I want it. Oh, lord how I want it. To know the feel of her soft mouth, hot and warm on my cold aching lifeless flesh...

Her nod is brief, eager, and I lessen the tension of my grip and watch in equal parts terror and lust as she lowers her mouth to me. One wrong move and I could snap her neck, one thrust too deep and I could do such horrific unimaginable damage.

No. I will not hurt her, I will not ever hurt her.

The very first brush of her lips nearly sends me over the edge, and I groan and tug her away. Her sound of frustration is almost guttural.

"Edward."

I release her again and she repeats the motion, skimming up the entire length of my shaft. Her breath, hot and moist spills over me and a soft purring moan slips from her throat to vibrate over me in the most sinful way.

"Jesus, Bella please." I yank my hands away from her terrified that I will lose control and hurt her. I curl them into fists and press them as hard as I can to the backs of my thighs.

Her silken tongue darts out and the contact seems to burn through my ice cold flesh. I can't help but press myself closer to her mouth. Nothing in my life has ever felt this good, not even the taste of human blood could tempt me from her now.

Rising up further onto her knees she makes a small whimper of need before her hot, little mouth slides over the tip of my erection, sucking softly and drawing me down inside. Desperately fighting the natural instinct to push farther in, I grasp the base of my length and wrap my hand tightly around it and preventing her from taking anymore.

"Bella…stop, sweetheart, don't…" Her arousal is growing with mine and she licks the underside of me moaning at the taste, pleased with me. I jerk back violently as my response slams past my control. I can't let her taste anymore, there are too many unknowns and I can't be certain that she won't be harmed by the fluids that seep from my body now. My free hand tangles once again into her hair cupping her head and I draw her fully onto her knees, claiming her mouth in a kiss that sears us both in intensity. Her tongue duels with mine, though she remembers to keep it away from my teeth, the one small rule she now instinctively obeys.

My other hand continues to move, the wetness of her mouth still coating me, driving me to the very brink of madness. Pressed against me she can feel what I'm doing, and she pulls away breathlessly and looks down, watching me with a hungry gaze. I try to gain control but she won't allow it.

"Don't stop, Edward. Please I want to watch you, don't stop."

My hand moves faster as I groan her name and lose myself to the pleasure of her words, her eyes upon me full of desire. Only at the very last do I draw her back up and seal my lips over hers, kissing her, groaning into her mouth while my body flares in one final explosion of pleasure.

As the pieces of my shattered control realign within my head I pull away, shaken completely to the depths of my nonexistent soul. Groaning I manage to clean up and return to her before she has even fully sunken back down on her knees. I cup my hands around her face, drawing her back up once again to kiss her softly. A small sigh filled with heat tumbles from her throat and her arms wrap eagerly around my neck. She's shaking slightly and I can feel the need in her body, taste it in her mouth. She whimpers my name against my lips. Her continued desires do not surprise me; they match perfectly with my own, torturing us both. Long denial has made us greedy.

"Hush, love," I murmur softly. "I'm here; I'll take care of you again, shh."

Lifting her slight weight easily, I pull her up and wrap her legs around my waist thinking only to lay her down but her heat and wetness engulf me and I freeze. I am still hard; my body having no mortal need for recuperation, and the contact between us is beyond electric. All our senses are on overload and I couldn't have put us in a more precarious position if I'd tried. If I lift her just a few inches and then lower her..._God help me._

Her eyes open slowly as her senses realign and realization pours over her. We are poised on the very brink of doing exactly what we promised we would not. Nothing in me moves, only my mind, wavering between right and wrong. My eyes stay locked on hers trying to ground myself in her, praying she'll be saner than I am in this moment. I know it's a futile prayer. I've just spent the better part of an hour driving her to the brink of insanity and her body is once again aching with unfulfilled need. An unfulfilled need that our current position promises to rectify completely. My control is gone, shattered like the foolish prideful illusion it's always been.

"Bella, please," my plea is twofold. _Please stop me, - please let me_…

Her breathing is hard, panting, her body trembling uncontrollably. She moans and presses closer, her legs locking harder around my waist, her tiny heels digging into my backside.

"For God's sake, Bella please, we have to stop…" _I don't want to stop, why do we have to stop? I can't remember…wait, God just wait…_

I watch her own struggling emotions, and suddenly her eyes clear and a new shudder goes over her. One I don't recognize at first, my scrambling thoughts unclear.

"Do it," she whispers, her voice off, still husky with wanting, but tremulous with something else, an undefined quality that my lust soaked brain can't quite identify.

"Just do it, Edward, get it over with… please."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N EPOV takes the vote again...Sensing a trend here... **

**Disclaimer - Stephanie Meyer owns all things including Edward and Bella. I'm only borrowing them and making Edward a super stud. lol.**

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Chapter 11 

Too Close to the Flame EPOV

"_Just do it Edward, get it over with…Please."( Bella from chapter 10.)_

Her skin is flushed with color, her mouth swollen from kisses, her eyes dark and limpid with desire. Her body is poised on the brink of acceptance, wet, aroused, mine for the taking. One small movement and I will be inside of her.

Promises were made to be broken.

My arms tighten around her, my body shifting, my mind frantically trying to conceive the best position to achieve our goal and then reality shifts back into focus. Sharp, instantaneous, reality.

Her expression is wrong, her plea is wrong. Even her heartbeat is wrong. Fast, not unlike the pace that marks her desire but unsteady, squeezing in static bursts as adrenaline pumps its way through her blood. Her jaw is set, tight; the body in my arms once coiled in passion is now just tense, and she worries her bottom lip with her teeth in a classic nervous gesture.

Cursing myself, I very carefully untangle her legs from around my waist and lower her feet to the floor. Cupping her chin, I force her to look up at me.

"_Get_ it _over_ with?" My anger with myself makes my voice harsher than it needs to be, and she flinches slightly. I caress her bottom lip gently with my thumb, trying to read her expression.

"I only meant that…we should…" She closes her eyes and sighs shakily.

"Look at me, Bella." Shaking her head she tries to pull away but I have no intentions of letting her, or this, go. Finally she opens her eyes. "Get it over with?" I repeat again, gentler this time, but no less insistent.

"I didn't mean it like that, I only…" At the rate she is worrying her lip with those teeth of hers; we could have a whole new set of problems on our hands. I use my thumb once again to pull the flesh free from her aggressive attack and stroke it softly, trying to soothe.

"I don't know why I said it that way. It just came out, can't we just forget it? It didn't mean anything, you're being too sensitive." The stubborn tilt to her chin, her refusal to meet my eyes makes me angry and I snort in frustration.

"You'll forgive me Bella for being less then inspired by your request. I'm not vain, but I would have hoped for a more passionate plea when you're asking me to make love to you. Something hopefully not comprised of the words '_get it over with_'."

Blushing she tries once again to turn away and I allow it this time. Slipping from my grasp she crawls back onto the bed, sitting on her heels, drawing the blanket up over her body, though I can tell she's not cold. A low growl of discontent escapes my throat only a second before I reach out and tug the blanket from her weak, fingertip only clasp. Another second and I am over her, pinning her body to the mattress, covering her with my own.

"_You_ are _not_ cold. You will _not_ hide your body from _me_."

Her heart accelerates again, a small gasp escaping her mouth. Fear and desire, this time warring together in her mind and her body. I stroke both emotions by pushing my knee forcefully between her legs, opening her body to mine and then kissing her with as much passion and tenderness as I can summon.

Her mouth is impossibly sweet, her warm body softer it seems then only moments ago. She's beginning to tremble as I move my kisses lower, beneath her chin and down her throat, her desire winning the war inside of her. Aching with barely contained need, I strive to bring her earlier passion back to full flame. Only in that moment does it seem that Bella can hide nothing from me.

My mouth draws in her flavour, enhanced by hours of lovemaking, and the feel of her secret heat pressed so close to my erection is impossibly arousing. She cries out softly as I kiss each breast; lick each delicate, pink nipple until she begins to writhe against me.

Again I find myself straddling the line of our boundaries, poised on the brink of breaking my promise. Our bodies are pressed intimately close, her wetness engulfing me, and one small movement, one tiny push forward and we will be one. Using one hand to lock her wrists above her head and another to grasp her hip I still our bodies completely. She's trembling, very close to climaxing and I'm possibly even closer then she is.

"Edward," my name is a gasp as she tries to arch her back, to rock her hips, to ease the fire burning at her center. "Please…"

Restraint is torturous. She's deep enough in her passion that I know I could claim her, take her, and she'd never deny me. "Look at me, Bella.'

Her eyes open slowly and I watch as once again her expression alters and she drags in a shaky breath. Her body tenses and finally I see what the fog of lust had concealed. Bella is afraid. My first instinct is to comfort her, to hold her and ease her fear, but Bella is not a woman to be coddled or soothed like a child.

"Do you still want me to get it over with, love?" My tone is even but tempered with sarcasm. That she has been hiding her fears, no doubt in some misguided attempt to protect me is insufferable.

"Yes." No hesitation, no doubt and yet her entire lower body tenses in expectation. Not of pleasure, but of pain. Fighting the urge to smile I kiss her gently, move my hips just enough to bring her to the edge of relief. Her fear is adding a sharper, more desperate edge to her arousal.

"Why?" I whisper against her mouth, stilling my movements and balancing her between hell and heaven. Damned if her bravery, her unrelenting courage doesn't thrill me.

She groans and her body trembles. "Edward, please.'

"Tell me _why,_ Bella. Why do you want to get it over with? Why now, when you said you wanted to wait."

"I want…to…that's all. I...just want…to." She's biting her lip again.

"Liar." I nuzzle her lower lip, trace it with my tongue.

"I'm not lying." Her denial is almost completely lost in her soft moan of pleasure.

I move my hips, slowly rubbing the entire swell of her sex, moving my erection closer to her entrance, gauging her reaction. She tenses even more. I do smile then and even laugh with a slight wicked edge.

"Your mouth is saying yes, love, but your body is saying something entirely different." Raising my head I look down at her, "Tell the truth."

Releasing her wrists I cup her breast, palming the small warm mound, slowly caressing the tip with my thumb. I brush it back and forth and she gasps, her head thrashing against the sheets. The war is over, fear never stood a chance.

"Edward, please…I can't take it…I need…you."

"What, love, what do you need, tell me." _Tell me you're afraid, let me in...let me help...don't hide from me..._

"Something, anything. Please." I circle my hips drawing my length back up away from the scalding temptation of her inner depths; caress the tip against her clitoris.

"Ahh, so were back to something, anything, and here, only minutes ago you were asking me for _everything_." She's only seconds away from her orgasm and this time, when I go still, her cry is a soft sob of frustration.

"God, why are you doing this to me…I can't…please…I need…to…"

"Tell me why, Bella. Tell me why you want to _get it over with_. Tell me, love, and I'll give you what you need."

_Anything, everything,...trust me with your fears...let me in and I will spend eternity pleasing you...loving you..._

She's crying now, but I don't relent even though I feel like the blackest of bastards for my tactics. Anger, frustration, need, they are all emotions that fuel my stubborn refusal to let this go. She will… _not_… hide anything from me. I will not allow it, now or ever. I will know her mind, as well as I know her heart, her body, or we will both suffer for it.

"I'm afraid," she cries, her voice angry, hurt, frustrated. "Damn you, Edward, I'm afraid okay? Are you happy now? I think it's going to hurt like hell, more than I even thought, and I'm...afraid." Tears spill from her beautiful eyes, tearing my black, cold heart. Sighing, I gently turn our bodies until we lay on our sides.

Capturing her small delicate chin I force her head up so she has no choice but to look at me. "I'm not happy you're afraid. I am, however, happy that you've told me the truth."

"Fine, so go ahead, say it, Edward. I know you're going to."

"And what is it that you think I'm going to say?"

She tries to push away, her brow furrowed in supreme annoyance. "That you were right? That we can't do this? That I'm finally seeing sense and you're glad? Take your pick."

I can't help the small smile that plays over my face. She's too adorable by far when she's angry like this. My smile makes her angrier and her eyes shoot sparks. I quickly force my expression back to neutrality.

"You are such a whirlwind of emotion today, love I can barely keep up," Gently I draw her closer to me. "You're wrong by the way; I have no intentions of saying any of those things."

Her body is extremely tense, still trembling and though she looks surprised at my words this isn't the time to explain them. Slowly I slide my hand down her thigh and hook it behind her knee, pulling her leg up to rest over my hip.

"We need to talk." I groan as I slip my hand down between our bodies and cup her damp flesh.

Gasping despite her anger, she arches against my touch. "This isn't talking, Edward."

"Umm, no, it isn't. We will talk, love, just not yet."

"Edward, stop." She's breathless and already beginning to tremble harder. "I can't talk while you do that."

I move her onto her back and kiss her hungrily, while my fingers move gently but insistently over her. "I don't want you to talk while I do this."

"Edward." She gasps as my cold fingers move in slow steady circles over the taut nub of her clitoris. "I thought you said we…_needed_ to…talk…ah."

"I'm keeping my end of the deal first. I told you that I'd give you what you need when you told me why, remember? And you need this… love...Christ you're so swollen, wet. Don't fight it, sweetheart. Let me make you come. God…_I _need this, Bella…let me, love, let me..."

Her breath leaves her in small hard pants as I move my fingers faster, her back arching.

"Yes," I growl as she quickly begins to unravel, finally releasing the tension, pouring it all out against my hand while I greedily swallow each of her cries with my mouth. I will never get enough of this side of her, this wild, untamed responsiveness.

I sip the last of her sighs from her lips, softly whispering I love you's, in between each kiss as she floats back from her climax. I keep my hand over her, loving the soft ripe feel beneath my fingers and the damp silk of her curls. I watch her face, pleased with her heightened color, waiting for her beautiful eyes to open.

Smiling when they do, I kiss her again, unable to resist the temptation of her mouth. When I move away she exhales slowly and turns slightly towards me. Her eyes slide over my body and her hand moves to my chest where she rests it lightly. Staring down the full span of my body I watch her eyes focus nervously on my lower anatomy. When she once again begins to worry at her lower lip I sigh, tipping her face back up to me with one finger. Her fears are becoming clearer by the minute.

"Will it even work, you and me, together in that way?" she asks abruptly. A full scale blush colors her skin in varying shades of crimson. "I mean, is _that_ what you mean when you say you're afraid you'll hurt me?"

Laughing softly,, I press my lips tenderly against her forehead. "Oh Bella. What am I going to do with you?" I forget sometimes how young she is, how human.

Scowling she shrugs her shoulders. "What? It's a valid question, you are..."

"Of all the things you should fear...Bella, do you never worry about the real dangers?"

"Of course I do," she whispers.

I can't help the slight feeling of sadness that consumes me at her words. She needs to be worried, and yet I hate to the very depths of my being that she does.

"Listen to me." I lean in closer to her, as though I'm imparting some great secret, not bothering to keep the amusement from my expression, "It's not a weapon, love." More pink stains her skin as I tip her face up to prevent her from looking away. Turning serious, not wanting to make light of her fears, I kiss her gently. "You and I are made to fit together, no different than any other man or woman."

My hand, where it still cups her, tightens gently and I brush my thumb softly through her curls. "The first time, you might feel some discomfort, but I will do everything I can to make that easier for you."

I move my fingers, lightly caressing her still damp folds and watch as her eyes dilate. I can think of better ways to make my point. Ways that I've foolishly denied us both. How could she possibly understand as innocent as she is the pleasure my body can give hers when I've only just barely begun to show her?

"Do you trust me, Bella?" I ask quietly, already knowing the answer but wanting to hear the words anyway.

"Yes." Completely, unapologetically, and my heart hurts at the thought that I could ever be capable of doing anything to break that trust. _If there is a God, let me never hurt her… please_…

Using every ounce of restraint I have, I open her body to my touch and press one finger against her opening. I feel her tense for an instant but I lower my mouth to hers, capturing her lips in a slow heated kiss. "Relax love, I won't hurt you." _Not now, not ever_…

Slowly I draw her wetness out, soaking my finger, groaning in pleasure at the silky feel of her. She opens around me like the petals of a rain soaked flower, surrounding me in liquid heat and satin smooth flesh. Groaning deeply, I try to touch her with as much care as possible but she moans and lifting her hips for me, drawing my hand closer against her flesh. She's unbelievably tight and for one small moment I wonder if her fears aren't founded. And then, just as suddenly, her body seems to open and I can move in further, deeper. She feels so good and as I find a rhythm, trying to hang onto my sanity, my body begins to throb in perfect timing with the movement of my hand. Carefully I add a second finger, stretching her, opening her, pressing deeper until I feel the barrier of her innocence. Forcing myself to back away from that tantalizing goal I arch my fingers, seeking the upper wall of her body, curling them against her.

"Edward…oh…that feels…" She doesn't finish her words but she doesn't need to. A deep moan spills from the back of her throat, slamming me with desire at the purest sound of pleasure I've ever heard. Fascinated and euphoric that I can please her this way as well, I growl her name and move my fingers faster. She's so hot, so incredibly wet and my head is full of the smell of her perfect, perfumed heat, her skin, her sweat, the burning allure of her blood...

Her heart is racing, her scent engulfing me from every angle, and dear God I want so badly to be inside of her. The last of my restraint snaps as my desire to be closer to her gets the better of me. Moving between her legs I lift her easily into my arms until she once again straddles my hips, her legs sliding around my waist. Her gasp of surprise and then another of delight sends darts of want over my entire body.

And once again we've come full circle. Her body presses against mine poised for my entry, only this time she's trembling with straight desire, untainted by fear. I cannot say the same. She tries to move, tries to shift but I tighten my hold on her with a low warning growl.

"Bella…don't move!"

I've never wanted anything in my existence the way I want her now. Air hisses in and out of my mouth, an instinctual reaction to the stress. Her scent, the very flavour and essence of her scorches my throat in searing flame. The venom lets down with a vengeance as my thirst engages, but neither of those tortures can come close to the pure agonizing need to claim…what…is…_mine_.

I can take her now, nothing stops me. Her fear is gone, her body is more than ready and I know, suddenly and without doubt, that I can do this. I can make love to her fully, completely, and though I don't doubt the unimaginable restraint it will take, I know I will not hurt her. No other belief is acceptable.

Slowly allowing my body to relax, I trail my hands up Bella's skin and tangle them in her hair, dragging her face to mine until our foreheads press together and her breath is all I can taste.

"Bella...whatever you want, love." I kiss her gently, placing no restraint on her body. I have made enough choices for her. This one is hers; it's really, always been hers, just as I have always, been hers.

She opens her eyes slowly and a small but powerful shudder races through her tiny body. Neither of us moves and I can feel her indecision tearing her in different directions, her gaze studying mine, searching for clarity.

I feel her soften, her own tension easing and slowly she moves away from the point of no return. "No," she says quietly her voice tinged with only the slightest regret. "Not now…not everything…not yet." She sighs pressing her body closer, so that nothing is between us, not even air. "This is enough for now."

Groaning, I lay her down. "For now," I whisper against her lips, her neck, and the satin skin of her breasts. Down the impossibly smooth, firm curve of her stomach and the delicate arch of each hip, making love to her with my hands, my mouth, until she shatters against me…over me…above me…beneath me...again…and again...

It's more than enough…for now…

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**A/N Okay as you can see, he didn't/she didn't. Come on, you had to know I wasn't going to break character, didn't you? Not in this story anyway! Waiting till they were married was important to Edward's sense of morals and values. And though I'm willing to test the hell out of those morals and make him redefine his boundaries, and to even get them as close as possible to breaking them, I won't take it all the way. Not until they say 'I do'. This story is, after all, supposed to be going down a possible path of things that could have happened in between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. Note that I said "possible" because we all know nothing of the sort was really going on otherwise they would have avoided that debacle of a wedding night/honeymoon. ;-)**

**Reviews are hugely appreciated. Let me know what your thoughts are on this. Agree? Disagree? Hate me for not letting them? Love me for not letting them? Give me some feedback if you have time or are so inclined. I'm as curious as a cat to know what your thoughts are on the subject. **

**Aleea**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N *revised 09/07/2010* At this point in the story I came to the conclusion that if I was going to continue it, I needed to add a little more depth and actual 'story' to avoid a possible Pwop mess. My decision was to continue on with the idea of 'practice makes perfect' and to stay within the timeframe of the months before the actual wedding. But let's face it; they can't stay in bed the entire time, much as we might like them to do that exact thing, lol. **

**So, dear readers, from this point on you'll be getting a mix of things. Lots more lemons, yes. But also a look at our favourite couple learning to incorporate their desires into everyday life and navigating the lazy, indulgent summer days and nights that would have been relatively stress free in those missing moments between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. So if you like fluff and romance and angst free reading, you're in the right place. I promise you lemons galore with lots of sensual exploration and discovery in the coming chapters with enough fluff to make you feel like you're floating on a cloud. **

**Sound good?**

**Aleea**

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Chapter 12 Fevered

**EPOV**

Reaching for my watch on the bedside table I sigh with quiet frustration. Bella frowns yet again, her soft, delicate brow puckering as she shifts restlessly against my side. She's only been asleep for less than an hour, but it seems like much longer. One hour of watching her twist and turn and shift in restless discomfort, helpless to do anything about it. She should be exhausted. She should be sleeping like a baby even if it is only a little after 9 pm. I've loved her body until she was spent and completely sated again and again, and still she tosses and turns. Pain is stealing away her ability to achieve anything more than a light, discontented semblance of rest. Even as I watch, her eyes flutter open and a soft whimper of unease slides from her lips before she turns away and settles briefly once again.

Snagging my cell phone I slip out of bed trying not to jar her, and quietly leave the bedroom. Carlisle answers on the first ring.

"Edward."

"Carlisle, I was just wondering how much longer you would be before you come home?"

"I'm just finishing up. How's Bella doing?"

"She's trying to sleep, but she's very uncomfortable."

"Hmm, yes I was afraid of that. I've already made a stop at the pharmacy and picked up some Silvadene and some painkillers to help her sleep tonight. I want to start her on antibiotics as well. Has she been drinking, Edward?"

"Yes, some. But it seems to make her feel nauseous."

"Well I think, though I doubt it will be necessary, that I'll bring home some I.V. saline bags, just to be on the safe side. Does she seem feverish at all?"

"She does seem a bit warm, though I don't think she's feverish…?"

Carlisle laughs lightly. "Edward don't worry, I'm sure she's fine, but second degree burns are painful so her discomfort is to be expected. I'm leaving the hospital right now. I should be home in less than half an hour. Let her rest even if it does seem that she's uncomfortable, some sleep is better than none at all."

"Yes, I suppose. I just really hate to see her like this."

"If she wakes, try to get more fluids in her if you can. Also, you can take the bandages off and bathe her hands very gently in cool water. Although you must remember not to break any of the blisters."

I winced at the thought. I might have extensive medical knowledge and training, but just the thought of trying to treat even this small injury on Bella has me cringing. Hanging up the phone I slip back in the room and brush a curl away from her temple. She seems warm, but more warm than usual?

_Ooohhhh, Edwarrrrdddd! We're baaacckk. Better cover up because I'm coming upstairs._

Emmett's thoughts are loud and intrusive. I rush out the door and meet him halfway up the stairs.

"Wake her up, Emmett and I swear I will tell Rose things that will have you begging on your knees for her mercy!"

"Whoa, bro, I didn't even know she was sleeping. Chill." He holds his hands up in mock truce and grins. "I just wanted to warn you that there is a very large delivery truck pulling up into the driveway as we speak. Judging by the looks of it, your fragile little bride to be's new chariot has arrived." He says the last part in a whisper, grinning again. "None too soon either. Alice and I have made sure her truck has seen the last of the open road."

Running my hands through my hair in frustration I head for the door. Delivery isn't scheduled for another two days. Something may have been lost in the translation. It wouldn't be the first time that's happened with overseas shipping. Emmett follows close on my heels and I spin around and pin him with a glare. I am in no mood for overly exuberant, and that is the exact vibe and thought that is rolling out of his mind and emotions right now.

"Where's Alice and Jasper?"

"Hunting, or so they say…." He laughs and winks. "Personally I think all that naughtiness that you and Bella have had going on here today got to poor Jazz. Every time we got anywhere near the house, he would get all flustered and we'd have to leave."

"Emmett…"

"What, I'm just saying that Alice has her work cut out for her is all."

"Fine, I get the point, Emmett. Thanks for sharing." I lace my voice with as much sarcasm as possible, but Emmett as usual is immune.

"You're welcome, but I think thanks for sharing should be Jasper's line, don't you?"

Rolling my eyes I point down at the floor. "Stay."

"What?"

"Stay. Here. Bella is sleeping, but just barely. If she wakes up and comes looking for me, I don't want her to come outside and see the car. Got it?" Despite my telling him to stay he's followed me into the kitchen where I punch in the numbers to disable the garage security system. "Make yourself useful," I say, gesturing to the few dishes I'd left after Bella's dinner.

"Oh man, gross." He wrinkles his nose in disgust and picks up a cold pancake off the plate. "What the hell is this?" He wiggles it and sniffs it grimacing in mild revulsion. "God, did she eat that?"

"It's a pancake, Emmett don't be such an ass. And keep your ears open, if you hear her moving around call me, okay?"

"Edward my brother, you need to learn to relax."

"Emmett…" My voice is tight and low in warning, and he backs up nervously.

"Fine okay, jeesh. Uptight much? I got it alright? Clean up disgusting human food and keep ears open for human movement. Go already, before your little delivery people ring the doorbell and accomplish the very thing you're so worried about." He flicks his fingers at me in an overly feminine shooing motion and whips one of Esme's flower printed aprons over his waist.

Rolling my eyes, I head out of the house hoping to make this as quick as possible.

**BPOV**

Something is stabbing my fingers. Something sharp and hot. Like tiny little burning knives that are glowing after just having been yanked from a brilliant orange, fiery, bed of …

I sit up so fast my head spins, almost pressing my hands to my face in reaction. Almost, except the dream was real enough that I still half believe that little glowing knives really are sticking out of my hands. Reality comes crashing back in slowly and I groan in pain and frustration. I'm so tired I feel groggy and disconnected, and all I want to do is lay back down and go to sleep. The fire burning across my hands however, is too intense for that. My mouth feels dry, my throat tight and hot, and I'm alone. Nope, not going back to sleep anytime soon.

I kick away the deep blue comforter that Edward had redressed the bed in and somehow make it to my feet. A wave of vertigo almost sends me back down again. Gritting my teeth I head for the water pitcher and then stare at it in consternation. For starters I don't even want to try and pour a glass. The thought of letting anything touch my hands at this point is completely inconceivable, not to mention the fact that I can't see these bandages making the ability to hang onto it remotely possible. Second of all, I don't want water, I want Gingerale. Ice cold, bubbly Gingerale. The chances of finding that particular beverage in a house full of blood drinking vampires should be highly unlikely, but then so should finding the ingredients to make blueberry pancakes. Besides, Edward has to be around here somewhere and I'm feeling crummy and sulky enough to ask him to get me some, even if it means a trip to the store.

The bedroom is dark and I feel slightly put out that he left me alone, which I automatically feel guilty about. After the amazing day we've had and everything that's happened, I really should be floating on cloud nine. Floating tends to be difficult however, when one is as uncomfortable as I am right now.

I trip twice on my way to the door only to find it closed once I reach it. Groaning softly, I very carefully press just the tips of my fingers to the handle and try at least three times before it finally turns. Unfortunately when it does turn it happens too quickly and my right hand slips, jamming my blistered palm against the knob. Gasping with tears filling my eyes, all I can feel is agony racing across the burned flesh and tearing up and down my entire arm. A wet sticky feeling tells me I've opened a blister or two and I grimace in disgust, fighting the urge to upchuck.

Finally I make it out of the room and head for the stairs. I can hear music coming from the kitchen and what sounds like Emmett, singing in a high falsetto to the Rolling Stones. I glance down at my body reassuring myself that I am indeed covered. Edward had helped me dress in a pair of soft blue cotton pyjama pants with a matching camisole style top that he'd found carefully laid out on the bed in Alice's room. I couldn't help but smile at the thought that Alice, as usual, knew more about what would happen today than either Edward or I. Later I might be embarrassed, but not now. I'm much too grateful to be embarrassed. Despite my pain I still feel slightly giddy about how successful Edward and I had been in our experimenting.

When I reach the bottom of the stairs another wave of dizziness makes me pause and lean against the wall tiredly for support. If it hadn't taken so much work to get here I might just crawl back upstairs, Gingerale or no Gingerale.

Emmett suddenly comes around the corner, his face scrunched in consternation. "Bella, what the hell are you doing down here? Man, Edward's going to kill me. Get back upstairs."

Scowling I force myself to stand upright wondering why Emmett is ordering me around. "Where is Edward?"

He darts a nervous glance to the front of the house and shakes his head. "He's uh, just taking care of something in the garage."

I start to move and Emmett instantly blocks my way. He's wearing a ridiculous looking flowered apron, and if I didn't know better, I'd say that was pancake batter at the corner of his mouth. "Emmett, were you eating…pancake…"

"Uh, well I was just…cleaning up…and well." Grinning sheepishly he shrugs. "I was curious." His expression changes to one of disgust. "How the hell do you eat that stuff, it tasted like…?"

Before he can gross me out with a comparison that will likely ruin pancakes for me for life, I hold up one bandaged hand. "It tastes better if you cook it, Emmett but even then, I get it. Pancakes bad, Grizzly bear good."

He grins then looks nervously at the front of the house again. "Yeah well, one day you'll understand and we'll have a long topic of discussion on the finer points of Grizzly. But right now, you need to go back upstairs. Not only will Edward kill me if he comes in and finds you out of bed, but no offence, Bella, you look like you're ready to fall over."

Even as he said the words I could feel a cold shudder working its way over my body. Not to mention a new and more violent spinning sensation. The house was nowhere near as warm as Edward's bedroom and apparently this long day was taking a toll on my body. Since I hadn't eaten hardly anything all day, it really was no wonder. I should probably have some toast or something with the Gingerale. Oh yeah, Gingerale. My throat grew hotter and tighter with the memory and I wondered in an odd disjointed sort of way if this is what Edward's throat feels like when he's around me. I push the thought away with effort and focused as best I could on a swaying Emmett.

"I want Gingerale." I say, aware that I sound petulant and a bit whiny, and unable to bring myself to care. I tried to get myself moving in the direction of the kitchen. "Emmett you're making me sick, please stop dancing, or swaying, or whatever it is your doing."

"Uh, Bella, I'm not moving."

"Fine," I said closing my eyes. "Then neither am I." I lean against the wall with a sigh. "Can you please get Edward?"

"I thought you wanted Gingerale? How about I get that first."

He sounds funny and I open one eye warily to find him looking at me with equal wariness. "Bella…?"

"What, Emmett?" I'm really dizzy now and not cold at all. In fact, it's too hot in here. Everything starts to go fuzzy and the last thing I hear before it all goes dark is a quiet curse and Edward's name. Then something wonderfully cold and as hard as cement wraps around my waist. With a sigh I let myself go limp and slide away from the pain. This is even better than Gingerale.

"Shit…_EDWARD_!"

**EPOV**

The delivery man is large, morbidly obese, and rank with stale sweat and cigarette smoke. He shuffles towards the trailer with the laboured gait of a man twice his age and gestures to the contents with a nervous grin. "Yep. That's quite the car Mr. Coolan. I ain't seen nothing like it before. Had all the guys at the dock in a tizzy when they unloaded it from the freighter."

His fear filled chatter is not helping his perspiration problem, and I watch as a large drop rolls down the side of his neck. It slides down over his carotid artery and I resist the urge to growl at him. Normally I would either take some pains to ease his fear, or increase it, depending on the circumstances and the outcome I was looking for. In this case I opt for quiet observation and an air of intimidation that lacks any outright sign of threat, but hardly comforts. His health is precarious at best, and if I'm not careful too much intimidation could have him suffering a heart attack. All I really want is for him to conclude his business and be gone so I can get back to Bella. His perceptions of me however, are making him fumble and chatter. His fear, like most humans, is unfocused and I can hear him berating himself for it mentally.

_Get a grip; get…a …freaking grip. He's just a kid. A pompous little spends all his Daddy's money on freaking foreign, zillion dollar cars kid. Christ, I make kids like this wet their damn pants and cry for their mommies all the freaking time…"_

His health is more precarious than he realizes.

"So anyway, Mr. Caloon, if you just want to put your John Hancock right here, I'll get this baby unloaded for you."

I accept the grubby clipboard and damp pen from his hands, and without him even realizing, the keys from an equally damp and grubby pocket. If it wasn't for the fact that I can hear and see Bella in Emmett's thoughts asking for me, I just might take the time to show him what wetting his pants and crying for his Mother would feel like. Something must slip by my composed expression because his heart rate accelerates and he takes a fast step back. Not even his mildly repulsive hygiene can taint the warm appeal of his blood and I swallow the small rush of venom, focusing my attention on getting him gone.

He clears his throat, berating himself mentally again. "So I'll just put that in the garage for you…"

I hold the keys up and watch his face go pale as he pats his pockets.

"That won't be necessary, I'll move it myself." The thought of him sweating all over the leather interior where in only a few days my perfect Bella will sit, disgusts me. Not because of the sweat itself, but because of the nature of the man who exudes it. I've seen enough of his thoughts to know he is a bully and a lousy husband to a tiny dark haired woman who's been aged beyond her years by his callousness.

Ignoring his gaping mouth, I quickly take the car off the trailer and put it in the garage, covering it with a tarp. I narrowly resist the urge to grin at the man's shocked expression. He's rethinking his evaluation of me as a child based on the skill and dexterity that I'd removed the vehicle. Pathetic. I could show him just how ridiculous his assumptions are…

"Wow, you sure know how to drive, I've never seen…"

I hold out an overly generous tip, cutting his babbling off as though I'd torn off his tongue. That notion holds some appeal as I listen to his mind spin off with thoughts of drinking the night away at a rather unpleasant looking establishment. Several paid companions hang off his enormous body.

"Oh, you don't need to do that, Mr. Cullen," he says, his voice dripping with fake respect now. "I get paid by the company and they don't like for us to be taking tips." His greedy eyes don't leave the money, although he hesitates from snatching it from my hands. Not out of respect for company rules, but simply out of the fear of touching me.

"Don't be absurd. You've delivered something of mine with speed and excellent care. I insist." I can see his hand twitch, and if not for the fear he would have long since pocketed it. I search his thoughts and catch a few that actually include his wife. Something about an anniversary and her needing a new stove.

Without his awareness, I slip a few extra hundred dollars into the folded bills. Using my softest most threatening voice, I speak very quietly. "Please, take it, I insist. Your wife I'm sure would love an evening out on the town, perhaps a nice dinner, a bottle of wine. Perhaps a show afterwards. Surely you wouldn't deny her that pleasure... _Mr. Flynn_." I emphasize his name and watch as his eyes widen in alarm. He'd never formally introduced himself and he wears no name badge, nor was he listed anywhere on the sheet I'd signed. Protective measures from a trucking company that had experienced more than their fair share of robberies in the last year.

I watch as he finally reaches out and accepts the money, taking amusing and extreme care not to come in contact with my skin. I wait until he has his fingers wrapped around the money before I lay my other hand over his. His eyes widen in fear and he instinctively tries to jerk away from my cold grasp, which of course I do not allow.

"I would be very disappointed, Mr. Flynn, if I were to find out that you chose to throw away this gift on activities that might occur at a location like Harry's Bar. I believe your lovely wife could very much use a romantic night out with her loving and kind husband…don't you?" His heart stutters and his face pales so drastically that I instantly let go of his hand.

He steps back, breathing too fast and nods quickly. "Uh, of course, Mr. Cullen. So kind of you, sir, and yes my wife will be happy, she, God bless her, she works hard that woman ya know with the kids and the…" He clears his throat, backing away in an awkward shuffle. "She'd love a night on the town…I'm sure of it…"

"Be sure that she does, Mr. Flynn." I reiterate quietly, picking his address from his thoughts as he wonders if I might possibly know where he lives. He redeems himself considerably by actually being concerned for the safety of his family over his own.

"_EDWARD!"_

Mr. Flynn is already stumbling into the cab of his truck when I hear Emmett's panicked sounding call. Although it only takes him a second to situate himself, by the time he looks out the windshield I'm already in the house. The roar of the truck engine and the squeal of tires mark his hasty departure, but I barely notice.

I fly into the house and find Emmett holding Bella awkwardly in his arms. He's cradling her carefully enough, except he's holding her away from his body with a completely panicked expression on his face. Another time I might find the fact that my tiny human fiancé could reduce him to a nervous wreck amusing. Now, I'm just as panicked as he is.

"What the hell happened, Emmett?" I take her from him trying to focus on his thoughts and his babbling words. Neither one is very clear.

"Damn, Edward…she just fell, dropped like a stone. Man, is she always this hot?…Shit, I hope I didn't hurt her…I tried to catch her before she hit the floor but I don't know if I was gentle enough…Jesus. Take her hurry up, God damn it, Edward, how the hell do you touch her without…?" Groaning he shakes his head at me as I carry her into the living room and lay her gently on the couch.

I can hear the phone ringing, but neither Emmett nor I move.

"She's so damn small…did I break her?"

I stroke her cheek gently and call her name, trying to evaluate everything all at once and not lose my mind.

"Get the phone, Emmett." Somehow my voice comes out calm.

"It's Alice…she says Bella's okay." He wipes his hand over his face. "Are you sure, Alice because I might have broken her, I can't…What? Yeah, okay, okay." Emmett drops the phone and holds his head, taking a long unsteady breath.

"Damn it, Emmett what did Alice say?" My voice no longer sounds calm and Bella's eyes flutter at the noise.

"It's okay, Edward, Alice says she's fine. I didn't break her, it's alright."

"Emmett," I grit my teeth and count to ten in 6 different languages. "I know you didn't break her, but why did she faint."

"Oh yeah, sorry. Um, Alice says she might be a little sick or something. She said to tell you not to freak, and that Carlisle will be here in exactly 45 seconds. Wait," he glances at his watch, "make that 18 seconds."

Even as he speaks I can hear Carlisle's car and Bella's eyes open.

She sighs softly and shakes her head at me, a tiny petulant frown wrinkling her forehead. "Edward?"

"Yes, I'm right here, love, its okay. Carlisle is here too. He's just coming in now." He appears before I'm even finished the sentence, bringing with him a calm, competent demeanour that is desperately needed. In fact I could use a hefty dose of Jasper right now and no sooner do I think it then I feel it. I can hear him and Alice making their way towards the house. Alice is chanting, _she's fine, Edward_, over and over, and combined with Jaspers influence I feel some of the tension slip away. "Carlisle's here, Bella. He'll take care of you, love," I repeat, more for my benefit than hers as he leans in and touches his hand to her forehead. She closes her eyes and automatically turns into the coolness of his touch even as she frowns harder.

"I don't want Carlisle," she whines softly. She opens her eyes and gives him an apologetic look. "No offence," she whispers and her voice is rough and scratchy.

"None taken," he replies with a smile of his own.

"I really just want some Gingerale."

* * *

**Feed me reviews and I will feed you lemons!**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Putting the Fire to Bed

**6 pm**

I can hear Alice reading in her soft, musical voice as I enter the house. Having to leave Bella to hunt, especially with her being ill had felt more torturous than usual. It was a comfort however, to know that I'd left her in capable hands. The sound drifts from the bedroom, telling me that Bella must be awake.

I pass the kitchen where Esme is frowning into a pot that emits a rolling cloud of steam. Several cases of Gingerale are stacked on the counter and I resist the urge to shake my head. Emmett has more than a dozen cases stacked in the garage already and the absurdity of so much seems to be lost on them all. Even Carlisle who is used to human consumption limitations brought home two cases last night.

Seeing me, Esme smiles then gestures to the pot. "Chicken soup." She shrugs in self deprecation. "The poor thing hasn't eaten all day, Edward, but I just can't seem to find anything to tempt her." Sighing, she stirs the contents and sniffs critically. "I seem to remember making this before, but for the life of me, I just can't tell if it smells right or not?"

"Smells repulsive if you ask me." Rosalie and Emmett enter through the back door and Rose scowls, wrinkling her nose with displeasure. Emmett of course snorts with mirth.

"I told you, Esme, she likes pancakes," he says, striding to the pot and lifting the lid. "Huh! Looks repulsive too, babe. Hey, what would you give me if I ate some of this?"

Esme hands me a glass filled with ice and Gingerale, no doubt to replace an already filled glass sitting on the night stand beside Bella. Though she asks for it, she really hasn't consumed more than a few mouthfuls and those have been only limitedly successful in staying down. The fever has made her nauseated, a fact that Emmett is all too aware of.

"Better stand back when you give that to her, Edward," he remarks with a lazy laugh. Having supplied her with her first glass last night, Bella had drank more than half before handing it back. Alice's thoughts had warned me seconds in advance and I had stepped back, but Emmett hadn't been so lucky.

He'd taken it surprisingly well, merely commenting on the fact that pancake's look surprisingly similar going down as they did coming up. Bella had been too out of it to do more than mumble an apology before falling asleep.

Hearing Carlisle's voice interrupt Alice's reading, I head for the bedroom. Bella is a lying curled on her side in the bed with her head in Alice's lap, while Carlisle finishes the preparations for bathing and treating her burns. Her face is pale, her cheeks fever bright, but she smiles happily at my presence.

Having spent the better part of last night and this morning trading off with Alice and Esme, we'd alternated keeping her as cool as possible. Bathing her with cool clothes and generally just wrapping ourselves around her we'd managed to keep her temperature stable and allow her to get at least some rest. Her eyes however, are still shadow bruised from fatigue and I can see she's gotten little sleep since I'd left.

Leaning down, I place a gentle kiss on her brow. She's definitely cooler, though still far from being well. The secondary infection caused from her injury is minor and the antibiotics Carlisle is administering seem to be doing their job. Still, it distresses me to see her so uncomfortable. It has even made me re-evaluate the possibilities inherent with her change. Her immortality will at least mean I will no longer have to be concerned with her fragile human state. Were it not for Carlisle's calming thoughts, last night would have been unbearable. He'd kept up a steady, one sided conversation with me in his mind, noting each subtle change in her condition and reassuring me she was fine.

Bella's smile turns to a scowl as Carlisle attaches a new bag of IV fluids to the pole by the bed. He'd decided last night around 3 am to err on the side of caution when he'd deemed she was beginning to get dehydrated. Bella had been drowsy enough at the time to offer little complaint, but she's been increasingly cross about it ever since.

"Carlisle, can't you take this out now? I feel like an over inflated water balloon."

"Sorry, Bella. Remember our deal." Laughing he shakes his head at her. He's already told her that he would take it out when she past the 12 hour mark of being free from vomiting. Apparently during my time away the clock had been reset. She huffs, but drops the argument wearily. Carlisle seems to take pity on her. "Tell you what, if you can manage to get through this last bag without incident, I will take it out, okay?"

She smiles with a sudden brilliance that seems to momentarily stun even him, and I catch his thoughts with a wry smile.

_It's very hard not to give her what she wants isn't it, Edward?_

I nod imperceptibly and he reaches down and grasping her forearms gently pulls her up. She groans and bites her lip, eyeing the small basin of water with trepidation. I have to swallow the urge to growl at Carlisle. The treatment is vital but she is already uncomfortable, and though as usual she is being brave, I know it causes her a good deal of pain.

Rosalie suddenly enters the room with a tray and a bowl of the chicken soup that Esme is hoping will tempt Bella. "Esme thought you might want to try..." One look at Bella's pale face and her sudden pinched nostril expression has Rosalie turning on her heel. "Or maybe not," she remarks, vanishing back into the hall.

Carlisle pauses and scrutinizes Bella carefully. She shakes her head almost violently. "I am not going to throw up." In reply we both look to Alice, who smiles brightly and jumps up off the bed.

"She's fine, it was close for a second but Rosalie took it away in time." She skips to the door. "I'm going to find Jazz, call if you need me, Edward." She blows a kiss to Bella and slips quietly away.

**9 pm**

"I'm going to adjust the brakes. They are very touchy. Knowing Bella, she'll give herself whiplash if I don't." Rosalie sounds touchy herself, but her eyes are bright and I know she's enjoying going over the Guardian for me. I slip out of the driver's seat where I'd been going over the instrument panel. Other than a few minor adjustments, the car is almost ready for Bella.

"Is she feeling better?" Rosalie asks this in a tone of aside as though she's merely being polite, and I fight the urge to smile. Her feelings for Bella are as always conflicted, but her concern is something she cannot hide from me.

"Yes, a bit. Nice of you to ask."

She frowns at the obvious amusement in my voice. "Whatever," she mumbles. "I'll just be glad when Esme stops cooking all that disgusting human food. The whole house reeks of it."

Moving to her side, I lean down with a full smile and whisper in her ear. "Still nice of you to ask."

Rolling her eyes, she mock punches me and I laugh loudly, dancing away and heading back to the house.

Alice once again has resumed reading to Bella, who, after having her hands re-bandaged grudgingly succumbed to Alice's pleas to let her fix her hair. She's braided it into a thick plait that lies against her back and while it's perfectly adequate, my fingers instantly ache to pull it free. I like Bella's hair down, the glossy color catching the light, calling to me to run my fingers through each cool strand.

Alice has curled her body around Bella's back, reading, from of course, Wuthering Heights. She's read it enough times herself to not really need the book in her hands and Bella has most of it memorized as well. Still, even I, who am not a fan find myself settling beside Bella to listen. She lays her head in my lap and sighs as I stroke her hair.

Bella slips into a light sleep, content as always in my arms. I am trying very hard not to spend much time away from her as she always seems to need my touch to find any real rest.

Sighing, Alice lays the book aside and tenderly brushes a strand of hair from Bella's cheek. "I'm sorry, Edward." Her voice is pitched in the low tone we use to communicate that humans cannot perceive. She doesn't need to explain her apology. Her thoughts have been tormented by guilt all day.

I reply in kind. "This could have been avoided, Alice." My tone remains soft, a statement rather than an accusation. I am not happy that Bella was hurt, or that she is now sick, but I understand that Alice can't foresee everything. "I only hope that you'll remember this, should there be any other...incidents, you wish to endeavour us in."

"Trust me, Edward," her soft voice floats to me with a laugh. "I've learned my lesson. Besides, it would seem that my _endeavours_ were...successful."

The bedroom is growing dark but I can see her impish grin clearly, my eyes easily adjusting to the gloom. "Seriously, Alice."

"I'm sorry, Edward, but you brought this on yourself. All that stubbornness for nothing. I knew you wouldn't hurt her, she knew you wouldn't hurt her. The only one who didn't know it was you. When I saw that her truck would break down and that a very wet and lovely Bella would entice you..."

"Alice!" I hiss and though Bella can't possibly hear me, she stirs fretfully.

Alice sighs. "She senses your moods, Edward. Did you know that?" As though to prove her point when I make a conscious effort to relax, Bella settles somewhat. "Anyway. I only meant that I didn't look beyond that scenario. I was just hoping to help break some of that tension. Honestly, Edward you had to know that Bella was becoming very hurt by all your refusals. You are as attuned to her moods as she is to yours."

I sigh in acknowledgment, but argue anyway. "This could have all gone wrong, Alice. What if I had hurt her?"

"Edward really." She gives my arm a hard squeeze. "I've looked at every angle, every possibility, and for over a month now I've seen only you being successful. Do you really think I would let you hurt Bella?"

I ignore her comment. I have only so much faith in Alice's visions but now is not the time to argue such a point. I choose instead to state the obvious. "I know you would do what you could to protect Bella, Alice. I just want the same from you that I would ask from anyone. Stay out of my private affairs." I grimace, hearing the impossible in that statement. She can no more stay out of them then I can of hers. "Or at least as much as you can," I amend.

Bella stirs again, a small whimper escaping her throat and Alice's thoughts are once again full of regrets. She hates seeing Bella in pain as much as I do, perhaps even more in this instance with her culpability so intrusively obvious.

Sighing she rests her hand on Bella's back, stroking softly, seeking to cool and soothe. "The fever will break soon, just a few more hours." She murmurs the words softly in a voice gone distant with her sight. "No," she said after a minute, "It may break in a few hours but it will depend on you." She begins to rise and I snort in aggravation.

"And that means?"

"It means," she says with yet another impish smile, "That she needs to sleep, really sleep. So if you decide not to be stubborn and help her with that, the fever should break by dawn."

"And how exactly am I supposed to help her..." I trail off, annoyed at having fallen for her innuendo.

Her musical laugh flows behind her as she starts across the room towards the door. "Well I could tell you, but that would fall under the meddling in your private affairs category. Jasper's very good at relaxing me when I'm stressed. I'm sure the same rules apply for sleeping. Shall I send him up with a few pointers?"

"Get lost, brat," I growl threateningly and she closes the door, her thoughts instantly lingering on things I do not need to see. Jasper apparently has more than a few tricks up his sleeve, but I would prefer not to be in on any of them. I shove her mental images away with a wince.

Despite myself, I cannot help but allow my own thoughts to linger on activities that just might be the remedy that Alice hints at. Carlisle will be in soon to change her bandages and remove her IV, seeing as how she's fulfilled his requirements. Once those tasks have been completed, I am determined that Bella will get some sleep, one way or the other.

**10:30 pm**

"Can't you open the window, Edward?" Bella shifts closer to me with a disgruntled sigh. She's tired and the fever is making her listless and cranky. I can't help but smile at her petulant tone.

"It's pouring rain, love. The damp, cold air wouldn't do you any good."

"I hate being so hot. Are you sure it's just me and not this room?"

I've already reassured her that it is not, but I do so again. "Yes, I'm sure. You have a temperature of 102.3, Bella."

"I feel like I'm baking inside." Her legs stir against mine but then just as quickly she pulls them back. She's had them laying on me for some time and her body heat has transferred to the denim, warming and softening the fabric.

Tenderly I press a cool kiss on her forehead, reassuring myself that her fever hasn't risen and that her temper is nothing more than a result of her discomfort. I disengage myself from her, though she huffs at me in indignation. She's about to protest but grows quiet while I tug off my t shirt and jeans. In nothing more than my underwear I lie back down and lift her onto my body. She stretches out at full length and instantly shivers with pleasure.

Her small moan of delight has me gritting my teeth. Despite Alice's predictions and recommendations, I am hesitant to begin an activity better suited for a time when she isn't running a temperature and fighting an infection. Bella shifts and her shirt bunches slightly around her waist. The sudden and electric contact of her impossibly hot skin against my abdomen has me drawing in a quick and unnecessary breath.

I slide my hands underneath the hem of her tank top and glide my fingers over the heated flesh that covers her fragile spine. Her shiver is deeper this time and she lifts her body slightly, allowing me to slip the thin fabric up her body and off. Nothing remains between us but my boxer briefs and her tiny lilac coloured panties. She'd kicked off the pyjama pants she'd been wearing hours earlier and the sight of her in that delicate lace and silk scrap had been driving me to distraction ever since. I allow my hands to sculpt her back and then move gently down to her bottom. The barely there fabric has absorbed her heat and it's almost as though I am touching her bare skin.

Extending my arms to their full extent my fingers brush over the backs of her thighs, noting the texture of supple flesh and muscle. Tiny chill bumps rise against my fingertips and Bella emits a soft, throaty little moan. My body reacts instantly. With an internal groan I roll her quickly but carefully to the side before her body and her innocent reactions can further undo mine.

Her eyes open slowly and she blinks, as always, disarmingly unaware of what she does to me. Placing a tender kiss to her mouth I move away, rising and heading into the washroom. When I return with several towels and a small vial of oils she raises her brow at me in curiosity. Lying on her back now with her knees drawn up and her torso turned slightly to the side, she looks so beautiful it hurts. I am instantly filled with a tenderness and desire so intense, it makes a mockery of every other emotion I am capable of feeling.

Laying back down beside her, I draw her close and kiss her slowly, thoroughly, aching to show her how exquisite she is, how much I love her. She opens her mouth to me and I touch my tongue to hers, licking gently inside her mouth until the taste of her fills me. I pull her body lightly back onto mine, rolling until we are in our former position. Her delicate little nipples harden against my chest and she shivers again. Cupping my hands around the back of her head, I slowly remove the braid Alice had plaited within her hair until the silken strands once again spill free. I keep kissing her the entire time, encouraging her small pants of pleasure by deepening the pressure of my lips, past the point of rationality or caution.

My sweet little love is quickly growing aroused and I moan her name. I need to slow this down before we both combust in flame. I raise us into a sitting position, carefully drawing her legs around my waist, stifling a hiss at the feeling I don't think I will ever become accustomed to.

Her eyes are bright with fever, the pink of her cheeks perfectly balanced with the new swollen red of her full mouth. Her hair falls around her shoulders, one long, auburn laced strand curls down around her left breast tantalizingly. She's breathless from my kisses, her chest rising and falling with each shallow, panting breath. She is a witch, a seductress, so spell-bindingly perfect that my silent heart aches without mercy.

"Oh, my Bella," I groan softly. "Such a temptress you are, love. How can I be sane with you in my arms? You are truly my Quadesh, my very own seductive little Aphrodite." Tangling my fingers in her hair, I pull back, arching her neck, her spine, so that I can lavish attentions on her breasts. Each nipple pertly swollen, begging for my mouth and the caress of my fingertips, affections which I grant lavishly.

Her soft purring sighs drive me to distraction and she rocks her hips against mine invitingly. Her skin is so hot that the warmth licks at my face. Her breasts teasing my tongue and lips with impossible heat so that each indrawn breath drenches my lungs with her heated, floral scent. She smells of sunshine in meadows, baking down on the earth in relentless summer fury. I clench my teeth hard together and draw one pink nipple between my lips, suckling her eagerly, dangerously.

She cries out loudly and I hiss a soft yes against her flesh, greedy for the sounds of her pleasure. Her limbs are heavy, her body lazy with fever. It adds an element to this lovemaking beyond pure heat. Her body is as supple and malleable to the hard stone of mine as possible, and she seems to melt into me, over me.

I drag my mouth from her breasts and kiss a cool, slow path across and over her skin. Upwards, until I reach the hollow of her throat and the delicate skin that covers her rapid fire pulse. I lick her there, once, twice, again, measuring her heartbeat, tasting the very life that flows beneath her skin. Venom floods my mouth but I have no desire to harm her. It is only a reaction based on instinct and I lick her again, trailing my tongue up behind her ear. Pulling away, I watch her skin bloom in soft pink where I'd let the venom touch her. She hisses and I blow my cold breath against her, instantly contrite.

"The venom. I'm sorry, Bella. What does it feel like, love? Does it hurt?"

"No." She whispers her response softly, turning her face to mine. "It feels tingly, hot, like when little showers of sparks land on your skin but vanish too fast to burn. Do it again, Edward."

Groaning, knowing that I've lost my common sense, I once again let the venom down and touch just the tip of my tongue to the tender skin beneath her jaw line. A soft tremor skips erratically over her body and she moans sweetly. Her hips rock against mine, and I watch as the tiny bloom of color where my tongue had been slowly disappears.

"Again." Her hands slide from my shoulders to my chest, light as butterfly wings, seeking the cold soothe of my hard skin. I lick the delicate curve where her neck meets her shoulder and her hips move against mine with slightly more force.

Need, hot and lethal tears at me with this new proof that I can love her with just that little less amount of care. Even still, I swallow a dozen times, clearing my mouth. Such dangerous play can only lead to things I should never attempt.

I reach behind me for the oils, lacing gentle kisses over Bella's collarbones while I saturate my hands thoroughly. The scent of ylang ylang, eucalyptus and rosemary fills the air. Starting at her wrists I begin to massage each arm, working my way towards her shoulders. My hands glide with cooling stealth over her skin and she sighs, her head falling back slightly when I reach her shoulders. Tension and heat seem to dissipate slowly under my ministrations while the scents enfold us.

The dim lighting in the room, the slow sensual movements of my hands on her body, envelope her and I in our own private cocoon. I can feel her heartbeat slow, the soft exhalations of her breathing growing steady. When my hands move to her back she leans into me, laying her forehead against mine. The urgency from only moments ago slips away to be replaced by something slower, deeper, and all that much more powerful.

"Edward." My name from her lips is only the softest of sighs as I reach her lower back, dig my fingers into the curve until the muscles beneath soften. Down past the waistband of her panties and over the sculpted curve of her bottom. Pressing down on her buttocks, letting my thumbs and fingers skim and dip inside the sweet cleft. She shudders and a deeper moan fills my mouth with the exhalation of her moist breath, drawing an answering moan from my own throat.

_Oh my sweet, sweet girl. The things I could do to you, for you. The pleasures you have no imaginable realm for...Soon, I promise myself, drawing my fingertips away and down to the backs of her thighs, soon._

I add more oil to my hands and slide them from her knees to her hips, pressing my thumbs deeply into hamstring and sartorius, feeling her relax and melt further into me. I press harder still against her quadriceps and she groans, half pain, half pleasure. Her heart skips when I release the pressure and slip my hands all the way up to the silk crease around her groin. Up past her waist, to cup each perfect small breast. I flick my thumbs over her nipples and groan her name as they pebble in reaction.

"So beautiful, my Bella. I could touch you like this, love you like this forever."

She sighs, her body completely relaxed against me, mine to do with as I please, to pleasure however I choose. I remove the last few bits of fabric between us with ease and guide her until we are pressed intimately together. With one hand on her waist I lift her just enough that my other can move from her lower back, down her lush little backside and under. Her fevered heat is scalding against my fingers and I can't help but wonder what it would feel like to be inside such heat, the way I was meant to be inside her.

My erection throbs, her soft wet flesh grinding against it. I enter her with one finger, then two, and her inner walls clench around me spasmodically. Faster, groaning her name while she begins to whimper. Caressing deeper, stroking the secret places inside that will bring her pleasure in spades. She comes alive suddenly in my arms, her thighs gripping my hips for purchase, moving, pressing down on my hand as my movements become more focused.

"Yes, love, take what you need," I groan, encouraging her hesitant actions until they become more sure. The traces of unabsorbed oil make our movements easier, her body gliding against mine, all liquid heat and soft angles. It takes her only minutes to reach her first peak, my name breaking from her lips with a soft strangled cry that nearly undoes me with its power.

Wanting more, but knowing I am dangerously close to the edge of my own climax, I remove my fingers from her liquid heat and suck them clean. She whimpers at the sight and again I am nearly unmanned as she continues to move over me with slow precision. Cupping her hips, I angle our bodies until the stimulation is perfect for both of us. I try to slow her movements, but my hands are slippery with oil and I have no will.

"Bella...stop, love. I can't..."

"No," she whispers in my ear, her tongue flicking against my neck, my ear. Her mouth on mine now, her hips...God her hips, moving with a rhythm that angles me perfectly against her, so wet, like liquid fire. Her impossible feverish heat is consuming me and I've never felt so warm, so mortal. My hands curl into her hair, my breath coming in explosive pants that I can no longer seem to control.

"Edward, yes oh. Now," she gasps, her tongue sliding over my lower lip as she trembles at the edge of her release. "Come with me, Edward, please...please."

Her taste, her scent, it all intensifies and only this exists. Her and I, connected in this moment as much as we can, bonded by love and need and our desire for one another. Striving to give and to take... My body is consumed and all rational thought, all consciousness disintegrates in the conflagration of our pleasure.

Oblivion is a very sweet place.

Sated, drowsy, Bella is asleep almost the very second I lay her down on top of me. The hours slip by peacefully, with me, lost as always in the rhythm of Bella's heartbeat. When dawn approaches, I smile softly. For no sooner does the sun begin to chase the last of the night away, then her fever breaks.

I can hear Alice laughing in my mind. _I told you, Edward..._


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Nourishing the Flame

The early afternoon sun is just beginning to fall across the floor of my bedroom and I watch as the light touches the bed. Bella shifts slightly beneath the blankets as though in unconscious reaction, and I can't help but smile. For a moment I contemplate waking her. I know she enjoys the sun and wouldn't want to miss such a rare occurrence, especially when I know it won't last more than a few hours. She's sleeping so peacefully however, that I don't have the heart to wake her. Since her fever had broken early yesterday morning she'd been sleeping on and off, her fragile human form worn out by the battle with the infection. Carlisle had woken her early this morning as well. Since the infection he'd been even more diligent about treating her burns which were finally beginning to show signs of improvement. The treatments were not painless unfortunately, and she'd been unable to go back to sleep afterwards.

She'd insisted on showering, a feat she couldn't accomplish on her own and even now, hours later, I can still close my eyes and see and feel her resilient warm flesh, slippery with soap beneath my hands. I groan and resist the urge to wake her for an entirely different reason. The heat and steam from the shower water had made her hands throb in pain so any activity beyond necessary ones hadn't been an option. Nor had continuing things outside of the shower. Not with Esme coming into the room with a tray loaded with various different breakfast foods, determined to tempt Bella into eating. Her appetite is still sadly lacking and Esme's mothering instincts were coming out in full force.

Ignoring both the sun and my lingering arousal, I turn back to my computer screen, determined to keep my mind on the stocks I've been trading. It doesn't seem meant to be as I hear Alice in my thoughts, coming through the front door with Jasper in tow. The rustle of shopping bags heralds their arrival in the room.

"Don't trade that one, Edward. It's going to make a rebound by tomorrow afternoon." Gliding across the room, she lays a very light hand against Bella's forehead and my instincts are instantly alerted by her actions and her thoughts.

"Alice...?"

She straightens and smiles, cocking her head to the side in that way she has whenever she wants to charm. "Don't freak out, Edward. I saw the fever coming back but I've already spoken with Carlisle. He's going to change the antibiotics, and I can see that will work." She holds out her hand to Jasper, who'd vanished momentarily but was back now with a glass and ice and a bottle of red juice.

"Cranberry juice?" As usual I'm having a bit of trouble deciphering all the different images and thoughts that come from Alice's head. Each different choice anyone makes creates a whole new set of images and possibilities. Carlisle's decision to change Bella's medication meant the fever vanished, but brought other problems. Including headaches and a painful bladder infection.

Grimacing I pinch the bridge of my nose. "Alice..."

"Trust me, Edward. This is pure cranberry juice with a green tea infusion. As long as she drinks this while she's taking the antibiotics, I don't see any problems."

"And the headaches?"

"Nothing a little Tylenol won't take care of. Plus Jasper knows reflexology." She said this last part as though it was common knowledge and I can't help but arch my eyebrow at him, curiously amused.

He shrugs nonchalantly and grins. "I was bored, took a few online courses, it's nothing."

Alice skips back to him and kisses his cheek. "So modest. He's fully certified, Edward."

"I can't imagine you would have much practical experience." I laugh, shaking my head. Reflexology would be a lost practice on Vampire's and given Jasper's track record with humans; few would be around to vouch for his talents.

"You'd be surprised. I received certification online, but I've known reflexology since my early days as a soldier." He smiles blandly enough, but I'm reminded once again how little of Jasper's early years I know. His thoughts show me only the briefest of images, most of which seem to contain several, scantily clad women being the recipients of a reflexology treatment that seems to be having a rather, sexual response. He winks and the thoughts vanish as though he's thrown a switch and turn instead to Alice. I quickly leave his mind, which judging by his grin was his intention.

Alice interrupts by picking up one of the many bags Jasper had piled in the corner. I'd sent her shopping this morning with strict instructions to only buy things Bella would actually like to wear. She pulls out a pair of white cotton shorts and several tops that seem to be a combination of Bella's usual simpler tastes, combined with Alice's more cutting edge style sense. She lays them on the end of the bed and begins hunting through more bags and emerging triumphant with a delicate looking pair of white summer sandals. The tiny silver buckles show where the leather straps will crisscross around her ankles, and for some reason the thought of Bella's tiny feet dressed in these shoes is extremely enticing. Alice smirks as she continues to dig and Jasper clears his throat. I scowl at them both.

_It's a good thing you gave her your unlimited card, Edward. It would have been difficult to rein her in. She gets more excited shopping for Bella than she does for herself._

I chuckle lightly in response to Jasper's thoughts, watching in amusement as Alice unpacks the rest of the bags with lightening speed. In order not to overwhelm Bella with all these purchases she's placed most of them in the closet. Since I still have a new vehicle to unveil in the coming days, prudence in the gift department is the wisest choice. I only sent Alice shopping because I wanted to avoid having to pick things up from her home. Charlie had been fairly complacent about allowing Bella to stay in light of her injuries, but I knew his patience wasn't bound to last. Esme had tactfully pointed out that Bella needed help with all things, including dressing, and that had been enough to guarantee Charlie's cooperation for the time being. Of course, Esme could charm Charlie, or any man for that matter into just about anything. It also helped that Charlie had no inkling that I was the one doing all of the helping.

Alice flits back into the room and glances at her watch. "She'll wake up in five minutes, Edward, and Angela Weber will be here in about half an hour to pay Bella a visit. She's bringing Bella flowers and balloons, isn't that sweet? Oh, and don't worry, Bella will love them."

I'm not surprised. Bella tends to have the most difficulty with accepting gifts from me. Hence the wildflower bouquet on the dresser. I'd known better than to buy her an arrangement from a florist, but handpicked flowers from our meadow were a very acceptable alternative.

Alice interrupts my pleasant memory of Bella's delight with my offering by spinning around and smiling with such abandon, she lights up like a firefly. "Angela's going to invite us to the park, won't that be fun?"

The sun is still shining, but already I can see the clouds beginning to bank in the west. Obviously the remainder of the afternoon is going to be overcast or we wouldn't be going anywhere.

Jasper sighs quietly. His thoughts show me that while spending an afternoon in a park full of humans is not his idea of a good time, he's more than willing to buck up for Alice's sake. And she is clearly thrilled.

"Are you sure Bella will be up for an outing, Alice?" We've been speaking in the low tone that ensures Bella can't hear us, nor will we disturb her rest, but I can see that Alice's time line is correct. She does seem to be waking.

"Yes. And the fresh air will do her wonders, Edward. She just needs to take it easy of course, or she'll get too tired. I'm going to go help Esme prepare a picnic basket. Jasper will you get some blankets and pillows?"

"Alice, shouldn't you wait until Angela extends the invitation?" I point out.

Her pretty features crease into a disappointed moue. "Well..." She smiles brilliantly. "No, I mean, she _is_ going to make the invitation for certain, so we might as well be ready right? I'll just make sure we have everything all ready in the car before she gets here, so she doesn't see it. And if she changes her mind, - which she won't, - but if she does? We can still go anyway. It's a public park after all, and it really will do Bella a world of good to get out of the house, Edward." Her smile grows even more dazzling, a tiny mischievous glint in her eye. "Now, would you like me to stay and help her dress? Because you know, Angela will be here in 28 minutes..."

Jasper puts his arm around her shoulder and winks at me, leading her from the room. "A lot can be accomplished in 28 minutes, darlin. Care for a demonstration?"

. . . . . .

Despite her long nap, Bella still appears drawn and pale as she leans in to inhale the aroma of the flower bouquet Angela had brought her. Colourful, foil balloons covered in happy faces and get well wishes, explode from the center. Bella laughs delightedly, reaching out to enfold Angela in a tight embrace.

"You didn't have to do this, Angela but its so sweet, thank you."

Angela smiles happily, a light pink dusting her cheeks and her thoughts pleased. She really is a gentle and kind girl and I scowl at Emmett, who's just leaned purposely over, pretending to need a book that was on the end table. He's enjoying her discomfort, which she's having trouble masking being in our house. Instead of blaming or looking for a reason as to why she feels so uncomfortable, her thoughts are merely puzzled and self effacing.

"Well everyone chipped in, so it was nothing. When I heard that you were hurt, I wanted to come right away but...I wasn't sure if you were up for visitors." She glances quickly around the room and bites her lip. She was obviously nervous about coming for other reasons. It is one thing to see us on a regular basis on school grounds, but another all together to be in our home without the buffer of 300 plus students.

Emmett pokes a finger at one of the balloons and it pops with a loud bang that makes Angela jump almost a foot. He stares down at the pieces with a slightly chagrined, albeit amused expression. "Oops!" he says with a loud laugh. "Sorry, Bella. I broke one of your balloons."

Bella rolls her eyes and looks at me. I rescue the bouquet and the remaining balloons and take them to the other room

Angela's heart is racing, and she puts her hand over her chest with a small embarrassed laugh. My family is not helping to relax her. Rosalie is lolling nonchalantly on the chaise near the window, looking beautiful and dangerous. A look she's perfected, and enjoys using to intimidate. Esme is perched in a chair, and though she's doing nothing to intimidate her curiosity is clearly making Angela uncomfortable. Jasper is standing in the door, leaning against the jam, but his demeanour is anything but relaxed. He's finding her scent all too appealing in the close confines of the living room, and I send a warning glance to Alice who smiles calmly back. She obviously sees no danger but I'm not so certain. Luckily the novelty of having another human in the house doesn't last, and one by one they drift away until only Alice and I remain. Angela relaxes considerably, her and Bella chatting about the goings on of their mutual friends. The mention of Mike Newton as always makes me inwardly cringe, but I keep my expression neutral. The topic of conversation switches to the upcoming wedding and I relax further, drifting to the window.

The sun has definitely made its last appearance for the day and an endless stretch of soft white and gray cloud blankets the sky. The air is warm and relatively dry, so rain shouldn't be a problem. I can hear Angela beginning to make her goodbyes and Alice is positively brimming with excitement as she finally extends her invitation.

"If you feel up to it, Bella, you and Edward should come. We're just going to play some Frisbee, hang out and enjoy the warm weather. I know you can't really play, but you could watch? Oh and you and Jasper should come too, Alice," she adds shyly. I'm not surprised when she doesn't include Emmett and Rose, though I sense she would have done so to be polite, if either of them had still been in the room.

Moving to stand beside Bella, I gently brush her hair from her shoulder. "That's very nice of you, Angela. We'd love to join you, if you feel up to it of course, love."

Bella beams happily up at me. "A chance to get out of the house sounds incredible," she replies with a small laugh. "It feels like I've been stuck in bed for weeks." A sudden blush darkens her skin and I have to fight not to laugh as she glances at me and then quickly away, her thoughts all too apparent. Being stuck in bed has been a rather good thing for the very steady and rapid progression of our intimacy. Luckily, Angela is already turning away, so she doesn't catch the blush or the accompanying look that passed between us.

She's a bit eager to leave, so she doesn't linger longer than it takes to give Bella another hug and me a brief but warm smile, which I return, trying to set her more at ease.

Bella turns into my arms when she's gone and tilts her head back to look up at me. "Are you sure you don't mind going to the park, Edward?" She nibbles her lower lip in concern and I have to fight not to pick her up and carry her upstairs and show her what I really wouldn't mind doing.

"Of course not." I brush my fingertip over the dark, bruise like shadows beneath her eyes and frown a bit. "You look tired still, are you sure you're up for it?"

"Ugh, most definitely. I'm starting to feel claustrophobic." She smiles brilliantly before spinning away from me and heading for the kitchen where Alice and Esme are finishing the picnic basket.

"Can I help?" Holding up her bandaged hands she sighs. "Never mind, I know I can't." She laughs and Alice and Esme join her. The sound of the laughter does more to bring the light back into the day than any amount of sunshine.

. . . . . .

The fresh air has indeed done wonders for Bella. I watch as her eyes brighten with laughter, her cheeks flushing with the most delicate pink from warmth and emotion, as she laughs at an offhand comment from Angela. Her hair is spilling about her shoulders and down her back in a soft riot of wind tousled waves and curls. I can see the admiring looks that she draws from several sources. The looks I can handle, the thoughts I can surely do without. Especially those coming from Mike Newton, who despite having recently returned to dating Jessica, still has inappropriate feelings for Bella. I grit my teeth as he turns his head and admires her backside with rather lascivious intentions. If he isn't careful, the Frisbee he's absentmindedly twirling in his hands is going to be lodged in his throat.

Jasper grimaces and glances at me warily. "Do I even want to know what has you suddenly so hostile, Edward?" We've just spent the better part of an hour engaged in a rather tedious game of Frisbee baseball. The slight strain of having to keep a tight rein over our strength and speed is necessary, but not highly entertaining. To make matters worse, being away from school has made both of us less inured to the thoughts and emotions of the human teenagers around us.

Realizing my hostilities are making things worse for Jasper, I manage a mild smile and shrug off most of my irritation. "Mike Newton," I say in explanation.

"Ah. Let me guess, the sudden wave of lust he's giving off has something to do with Bella." He can't help but grin at my expression.

My response is quiet, however said through clenched teeth; it carries the weight of my anger perfectly. "If he doesn't soon stop checking out her ass, I am not going to be responsible for my actions."

"She does have a nice little tush, so can't say as I blame him, Edward."

I growl at him and he laughs, holding up his hands. "Besides, you do realize that Tyler Crowley is checking out way more than that, don't you?"

Case in point, I can see Tyler almost miss the Frisbee that sails his way in a perfect arc. Bella has leaned down to say something to Alice, who's sitting on the bench of a picnic table. The position causes her top to gap just enough to show the barest amount of cleavage. Tyler is enjoying the view way too much.

My growl is even louder this time. Enough so that the small child hovering at the edge of the field decides he's not as interested in watching the big kids play as he thought he was. I sigh with instant contrition and pinch the bridge of my nose, striving for a better grip on my emotions. I'd forgotten how annoying all these ridiculous fantasies that play through adolescent minds can be. A sudden memory of Bella, naked and warm beneath my touch does much to bolster my tolerance. Let Mike and Tyler, or anyone else for that matter, ogle all they want. She was mine, now and forever, and while all they had were pathetic fantasies, I had the reality.

As though she senses my thoughts, she suddenly looks up and smiles. I crook my finger at her and gesture her over. I've had enough of sharing. She says something to Angela and then makes her way to me. I meet her at the edge of the field, pulling her into my arms for a very thorough and possessive kiss. I know its juvenile, but I'm still pleased when Tyler and Mike's thoughts grow resentful and then resigned.

Satisfied, I wrap my arm around her waist and draw her back to the blankets and pillows we'd scattered under a huge Redwood tree. I lean back against the trunk and Bella settles in between my outstretched legs sighing with contentment. The day is very balmy and the skin on her back is warm. I brush her hair away from her neck and kiss a damp patch of skin below her ear, blowing softly across her skin, cooling her. It occurs to me that I should take her somewhere very warm for our honeymoon. Someplace where my cold skin will be a comfort and not a torture. I make a mental note to speak with Esme later tonight. I can picture the perfect place in my mind and I can see the pieces fall into place as though they were meant to be, I only need Esme's consent to put it all together.

Reaching down, I snag Bella's book and flip unerringly to page 300. I find the passage I'm looking for and glide a whisper soft kiss against her ear. * "_Last night I was on the threshold of hell. Today I am within sight of my heaven. I have my eyes on it."_

She tilts her head back wanting kisses and I grant them eagerly, cupping the soft, silky skin under her jaw to angle her mouth for mine. My throat flares with the burn of her blood scent, an impossible pleasure, while the taste of her infinite sweetness sends a burn elsewhere. It would seem that I am insatiable for her now, having had a taste of the pleasures we are capable of, and now, I only want more. I break the kiss to allow her to breathe and her eyes flutter open. She studies my face for a moment, an inscrutable look crossing her delicate features before she blushes and looks away.

I chuckle lightly, wrapping my arms around her waist and kiss her temple. "What is going through that head of yours, love?"

She shrugs gently. "I was just thinking, how much things have changed between us in the last few days."

"And?" The skin of her thigh is incredibly soft beneath my fingers, like warm velvet.

"And, it's...nice."

"Yes," I murmur, moving my fingers just inside the crease of her knee. "It is nice."

Her soft sigh tells me she has more on her mind and I smile quietly, placing a kiss on her bare shoulder. I open my mouth a small amount and taste the pure cream of her skin and she shivers, turning her head once again to mine. I brush my lips over hers in a soft back and forth motion, inhaling her breath, teasing her. "More than nice perhaps?"

Lips curving in a delicate smile, she nods. "Yes, more than nice."

"Are you going to tell me what you're thinking, love, or should I guess?"

The warmth of her blush touches my face and she draws away, biting her lower lip in her classic nervous gesture.

"I guess I was just wondering if...you felt differently about our...trying."

I can't help but smile. "About our trying what?"

She huffs and rolls her eyes and tries to pull away, but I tighten my arms with a light laugh.

"You know perfectly well what, Edward."

"Maybe I just want to hear you say the words love."

Rolling her eyes again, she settles back against me. "You asked me what I was thinking, I told you. Now, are you going to answer me?"

"Yes."

"Yes, what? Yes you're going to answer me, or yes you feel different?"

"Both."

"Oh."

I laugh again and turn our bodies until I can lay her down on the blanket. I place one of the pillows beneath her head and lay on my side, looking down at her. Tracing a zigzag pattern up her arm with my fingers, I try to put my thoughts in order.

"That isn't to say that I'm still not...concerned. These last few days have shown me that I have more control than I imagined. And touching you, loving you, and knowing that we can have that between us, means more to me than I can express."

She nods, her eyes softening.

"But we've had limitations you and I that have made things easier." I lift one of her bandaged hands in illustration and kiss her finger tips. "Not being able to touch me has frustrated you, I know, but it has allowed me to control the situation to an extent I know cannot continue."

"Do you want it to continue? My not being able to touch you I mean. Would it make it...easier, if I agreed, even after the bandages come off, to not do that?"

Smiling, I release her hand and lower my head to nuzzle her mouth with mine before kissing her breathless. Her hands come around my neck, and despite her burns she instantly tries to press them to my hair in an effort to draw me closer. Reaching back, I capture them and place them on her stomach laughing.

"I don't think you could, Bella even if I wanted you to."

Her blush is soft and I wish yet again that we were alone. I can think of better ways to create that color in her skin than embarrassment. The wanting is exquisite. She is exquisite.

"So you don't want me to then." Not a question, but a statement, one she's happy to make.

"Silly Bella," I sigh in answer. "You know very well I do not. Although it would be easier in some ways, it's hardly the grounds for a healthy intimacy."

"What worries you the most, Edward, about our wedding night? Will it really be so different? You haven't hurt me at all, not even close and we've done...a lot."

"It will be very different, love. Being inside of you, making love to you fully, will test my restraint and my self control in ways I can only begin to imagine." Her eyes grow troubled and it hurts my heart to have to put any more of a damper on our plans. Having asked for my honesty, I cannot deny her the truth.

"Still, I have hope and a confidence I did not have before." I lower my voice even more, though there is no one even remotely close enough to overhear our conversation. "I know the way your body reacts to my touch, the way you look and sound and the way you move. I know that I can please you, and that I can trust myself enough to let go and take pleasure from you as well. That is a gift I wasn't sure you and I could have, love, and I can never express the depth of my gratitude for that."

She smiles. "I'm happy, Edward, I'm happy we're getting married, I'm happy I'm going to be your wife. I understand what you're still afraid of, but I believe in you, and in us, and..." Another blush paints her ivory skin in hues of pink and she touches the side of my face with her fingertips. "Thank you." She's says the words with a soft exhalation and a depth of feeling that humbles me completely. "Thank you for these last few days, for taking care of me when I was sick, for all of it." Mischievous sparkles light up in her eyes and she lifts her head until her lips brush mine. "Thank you especially for practicing with me." Her soft, warm tongue teases my bottom lip and I can't help but groan.

"If you continue to do that, Bella, I'm not going to be responsible for my actions." The fact that the nice weather has people out in droves does little to impede my desire to have her, observers be damned. To make love with her, right here, under this tree, with the soft, warm breeze aiding me in each caress would be...

_Man, look at Cullen, all over her like that. Damn, I'd give anything to be him, lucky bastard. What the hell does she see in him anyway? Jeez, they're practically doing it right here in the park. Well if they want to put on a show, I'll sure as hell watch. I just have to block __**him**__ out as much as possible_.

I can't help but grimace at Mike's incredibly intrusive thoughts. He's managed to manoeuvre himself closer to us, away from a grouping of trees that had previously given us some privacy.

Bella laughs, drawing my attention back to her. "Who are you and what have you done with my Edward?" she teases.

I growl and press my mouth to hers, forgetting about Mike. "You've bewitched me, love. The temptation of your body now far outweighs the temptation of your blood, in case you were wondering. If there weren't so many children around, I would have you naked and moaning, right here, right now."

She smiles beneath my kisses, her lips parting, allowing me to drink her in further. The tips of our tongues touch and electricity sparks over my body. My hand slides beneath her back, lifting her until our bodies meet on all points and she makes that sound I love. A soft purr in the back of her throat that tells me she likes what I'm doing. Damn, that sound makes me hard every time.

Mike's thoughts once again intrude.

_Man, they are giving new meaning to the term, - get a room. Huh, I wonder if he's done her yet. Sure as hell looks like it, but he's freaking weird. I thought he was gay for the longest time. I mean, what guy has girls falling all over themselves and never gets with any of them? Maybe it's true that she's knocked up? I would have said no before, but the way they're rolling around over there makes me wonder. I wonder if Bella's a screamer. Ha. I bet she is. The quiet ones are always the wildest in bed they say._..

His thoughts take a turn for the worse, and now he's inserting images. _Bella climbing into his lap, moaning and contorting in overly theatrical and phony lust. Oh, Mike. YESSS Harder, HARDER... _

It is very obvious that Mike Newton has watched one too many x rated movies. As his imaginary Bella begins to fling her hair around like an exotic dancer, phony orgasmic moans reaching ridiculous heights. I turn my head and meet his eyes with a lethal glare. He blanches and takes a few steps back, almost tripping over his own feet in the process.

_Shit, how the hell does he do that? It's like he can read my damn mind, every time I have a hot image, there he is, glaring at me. Ha. It's a good thing he can't read my mind, Cullen is one scary guy..._

I flick my eyes from him to Jasper, who's just gotten up to 'bat' and is spinning the flimsy orange plastic disc in his hand. He meets my gaze with a slow grin and an infinitesimal nod, and then launches the Frisbee. It soars 20 feet out in a floating, perfect line then suddenly catches the perfect air current, arcs right and tears across the field straight for Mike. Who, coincidentally enough has decided discretion is in order and is just beginning to turn away from his voyeur activities. The Frisbee makes another in flight adjustment, drops, and hits Mike directly below the belt. I turn my head back to Bella, resisting the urge to smile at the sound of all Mike's air escaping his lungs and the equally rewarding sound of his body hitting the ground full force.

Bella is smothering a yawn with the back of her hand, blissfully unaware of what just happened.

Smiling sweetly she apologizes, and I trail my hand down her cheek. The shadows around her eyes are growing.

"Tired, love?"

"Yes," she sighs. "A bit."

Alice and Jasper rejoin us and Alice begins stowing items back in the picnic basket. "More than a bit, Bella. You need a nap if we're going to come back tonight," Alice remarks.

Bella scowls. "I'm not a child."

Alice pats her hand. "Of course you're not. But you need to look after yourself, Bella. I'm just trying to help. You don't want to get sick again, do you?"

Bella's scowl grows and I can see her gearing up for a full scale argument. Before it can escalate I interrupt. "Come back?" I regard my sister warily. "Why exactly are we coming back?"

"There is a free concert in the park tonight, a bunch of local bands are playing, silly. Or weren't you paying attention. Everyone's going. So we should leave so Bella can have a nap. Besides Carlisle is waiting at home to treat her hands and get her started on the new medications."

Bella groans and I kiss her forehead sympathetically. "Alice, perhaps this is enough for one day. Bella's still not well enough to be..."

"No, I'm fine, Edward, really. And I want to go, it'll be fun." She smiles up at me, knowing full well I can deny her nothing and clearly determined to go regardless.

"Alright. But only if you agree to try and sleep when we get back, love. You're not as fine as you think you are. Your body needs all the rest it can get."

She rolls her eyes. "Okay. Let's go then," her smile grows suddenly mischievous and she lifts her head to kiss me gently. Turning her face, she presses her mouth to my ear and scrapes her teeth firmly along the edge. "Will you take me home and put me to bed, Edward?" she whispers.

I have her in my arms and am carrying her to the car in an instant, leaving the clean up task to Alice and Jasper. She doesn't need to ask me twice.

**A/N * Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N In the Twilight series I was always fascinated by the contradiction of Edward's age, knowledge, and his 'innocence'. Physically locked in the body of a 17 yr old, with over a century of life experience, not to mention the information he's gleaned from the minds of mortals and immortals alike, makes for a very interesting character. One of the things I wanted to explore in this story is how all of those pieces of Edward would help or hinder him in his growing intimacy with Bella. In other words, Edward is learning, and he's a quick study ;) **

**Lyrics - * Waiting on a Sign, by The Tea Party ** Last Train Home by Ryan Star. No copyright infringement intended.**

* * *

Chapter 15

Learning to Burn

The drive home seemed to have taken forever.

It's been 41 hours, 11 minutes, and 54 seconds since the last time I loved Bella. It feels like much longer.

I'm right behind her as she climbs the stairs to my bedroom, slowly. The seconds accumulate with each step, 55, 56, 57. She reaches the doorway and steps over the threshold. 58, 59. Her foot catches on some nonexistent barrier and she trips. My arms go around her waist, steady her, spin her towards me, lift her slightly and press her back against the wall.

41 hours, 12 minutes.

I kick the door closed with my foot and cover her mouth with mine. I want her, now. The intensity of my need is blinding and I struggle to remember all the things I need to remember. I can only remember one.

_Don't hurt her_.

The soft cotton of her shirt disintegrates beneath my hands. Tattered threads and one stray button falls and gets hung up on the waist band of her shorts.

_Don't hurt her_.

The fragile clasp of a barely there wisp of lace covering her breasts snaps between my fingers. One tiny eyelet hook scrapes against the wall on its way to the floor. Her nipples are hard before my palms graze them, and her soft little cry spills against my tongue. I swallow the vibration and use my thumbs. She begins to pant.

_Don't hurt her_.

My lips find her neck, the sensitive spot below her ear, her mouth again as she moans my name.

"Edward."

If there is a sweeter sound I have never heard it. The snap button on her shorts tears off under my touch. It falls to the floor with the threads and shreds and the tiny eyelet hook.

"Bella, God, sweetheart. I want you so much, need you so much." _Tell me, tell me you want me too, need me too._

My tongue traces along the porcelain, velvet skin that lies over her delicate perfect throat.

"Yes, oh!"

_Good enough, more than good enough_.

_Don't hurt her_.

My throat rips in perfect flame, and the flimsy teeth on her zipper rips in perfect synchronization. The button from her shirt that had caught on her waistband finally falls free, bouncing off the thigh I wedge gently between her legs. She shudders and the warm flooding scent of her arousal saturates my senses. And… I… can't… get …enough.

_Don't hurt her_.

My hands leave her body and press into the wall behind her, sinking into the pathetically weak drywall as her hot little mouth presses against my neck, nips at my throat. _Christ_. Her arms move from around my waist, and I feel the gauze of her bandages touch my bare skin as she slips them under my shirt. Dainty, warm fingertips glide over my stomach and then higher. The drywall gives a bit more.

"Bella." I say her name in a fierce tone of warning, though I don't restrain her. She's placing no pressure on her palms, keeping her wrists curled in a protective way that prevents her from harming her burns. She has touched me this way before, and yet in this moment with all that has happened between us it feels new. I clench my jaw shut, my breath hissing from between my teeth as her fingers graze my nipple. A rush of sensation so powerful it makes me groan follows in the wake of her touch.

"Bella, please." I have no idea what I'm pleading for. I want to touch her, replace the jagged papery feel of crumbling wall with the sweet, soft curves of her breasts, her hips. Yet I can't trust myself now. I need things I can't need, want things I can't want, - and beneath all of that - I know I must learn to allow some of this between us to be out of my control. She is mine, but I am also hers, and if touching me pleases her then I must find some way to augment my faltering control.

_Don't hurt her_. Slowly I pull the shirt away from my body and toss it to the floor where it lands next to the tattered remnants of hers. Her eyes watch me, dark, warm, and alight with the heat of her desire. Capturing her wrists I once again guide her fingertips to my skin; letting those eyes anchor me and keep me from burning in the hot flames that lick my body. I let my hands fall to my sides, fists so tightly clenched that had there been anything in my grip it would have disintegrated from the force. She drops her gaze to watch the path of her hands and I lose my anchor. I remain still, locking myself down until I do not even breathe.

_For her. I can do this for her._

The tiny pads of her fingers are so warm, her short, blunt nails cooler by several degrees trace each hard raised edge of my nipple, once twice, again. She lifts her head scrutinizing my reaction and I allow a low growl of pleasure to slip past my restraint, wanting her to know that her touch pleases me. Her hands move lower, lower, lower until they brush the waistband of my shorts.

"Bella…" _No more. I can't take anymore_. Still I don't move. Her fingertips feel hotter now and her heart beats faster. I can see the pulse of her carotid artery throbbing beneath her creamy skin, smell the floral heat of her blood and my thirst flares with my lust.

_Don't hurt her._ Be still.

The thirst means nothing. I am what I am but I will not act on these baser impulses. Venom floods my mouth copiously, taunting me. Her fingers move past the waistband, lower, lower and _God…help…me_. My eyes slam shut. Even through the layers of fabric the barely there brush of her fingertips against my arousal is the sweetest torture. My restraint snaps and I move away from her touch.

_Don't… hurt… her._

She knows enough to remain where she is, and from my place across the room I can hear her heartbeat accelerate in nervous reaction. The increase of her pulse sends more of her blood scent to fill the air around me and I draw it in with slow, even breaths until it fills me up. More, until once again it becomes a manageable burn that thrills me with the proof of my will, with the gift of her life. I keep my eyes closed, my breathing steady, until her heart rate settles back to its normal rhythm.

_Don't hurt her_.

Opening my eyes slowly, I drink in the sight of her. She's crossed her arms over her chest and her perfect, little white teeth, worry the tender flesh of her lower lip. She watches me with a mixture of concern and frustration, but mostly with love and I wonder, not for the first time, how a soulless immortal vampire such as I could deserve one ounce of her affection.

I remove the last of my clothing, hiding nothing, letting her see the proof of my desire. Letting her know I want her still, always, and that I will no longer allow my fears to dictate my actions. I move naked to the bed, draw back the covers, turn back to her and wait, silent and still. I do not speak, nor do I try with any power to draw her to me. I just wait.

_Come to me now, love. Of your own free will, come to me. Not because I ask, but because you want me, need me, as I want and need you. Show me you are not afraid because your bravery strengthens me as nothing else can. Believe in me, love, so I can believe in me._

She cannot hear my thoughts anymore than I can hear hers, though I would like to think that the connection between us is strong enough that it isn't necessary to hear them. Her actions seem to prove me right. Her arms slowly relax and slide away from her body, her fingers push the shorts down her hips until they puddle at her feet. Stepping from them gingerly she crosses the room and stands before me, her eyes wary but not afraid. She does not try to touch me.

She is so exquisitely beautiful. "I love you."

She smiles and the last trace of that wariness vanishes as though it was never there. "I know."

I move onto the bed, drawing her down with me until we lay on our sides facing each other. Taking her wrist I once again place her fingertips against my chest and slowly guide her hand down my body. I let go and she hesitates for only a moment, her eyes watching me. Slowly and without breathing she begins to explore places I've never let her touch. The lower slope of my abdomen, the narrow expanse of my hips, the crisp hair on my stone, cold thigh. Her touch feels like heaven, light and cautious, and when she finally touches me explosions of need burst in my mind, multicoloured and multifaceted, like prisms hanging in a sun drenched window.

Curling my hand behind her knee, I bring it up to curve over my hip and move my hand between her thighs. Like her, I use only the tips of my fingers, keeping my touch almost feather light, increasing her arousal, slowly mimicking her actions.

A soft moan spills from her lips and she moves closer to me, licks my panting mouth as I struggle for control, nips at my lower lip. Her fingers move up and down, learning quickly each sensitive line. She begins to apply more pressure and my whole body shudders. I cannot believe the way she is making me feel and I groan her name heatedly.

"Bella…love…ah." I'm losing my mind, my control.

_Don't hurt her._

I pull my hand away from her body, reach over my head and grip the wrought iron headboard hard enough that I hear the metal groan. I can no longer guarantee that I will be able to control my strength.

"Stop," I gasp, but she ignores me.

"Stop, Bella, God…I can't hold on."

"Don't," her breath is sweet, her touch even sweeter and I am weak. I have no resistance, no power to stop what she's doing to me or to deny how much I want this ecstasy of her touch. Her fingers continue to move, light and warm, faster now as the tip of her thumb slides over me growing slick with the force of my need. I lose complete and utter control and climax with a loud growl of pure release, twisting my body away from her in my last coherent and protective instinct.

She will be the death of me yet.

And if not her, then certainly Carlisle with his gift for untimely interruption.

_Edward, I have her new medication. We should really start it now, before the fever returns._

If I didn't know better, I'd think his thoughts sound amused.

. . . . . .

The park is crowded and I frown slightly at Alice as we make our way through the throng of people. I keep my arm securely around Bella, moving her in front of me to shield her from the push of others. She's keeping her hands tucked close to her body in a protective gesture. She's already been jostled and had her right hand abraded by the pressing of people trying to make their way by us. If I had realized the crowd would be this large I would have thought twice about this venture, and although Bella has assured me she's fine, I have my doubts. The expression on my face has people more than happy to move out of our way. I'm being bombarded with thoughts from every direction but I have no trouble hearing Alice's amusement at my expense.

"Relax, Edward. Lighten up and have some fun." She's lit up like one of her infamous sets of twinkle lights. _Bella will be fine and she's going to have a good time. If you stop glowering like a grizzly bear that is_. She says this last part in her mind only so I only roll my eyes in response. In truth Bella already is enjoying herself, the excitement of the crowd, the warm summer air; all have added a light blush of color to her cheeks. This has done wonders to take away from the tired and pale expression I'd noticed in the car on the way here. She'd managed to get only a small amount of rest this afternoon, complaining of a headache within half an hour of taking her first dose of the new antibiotic Carlisle had given her. She'd slept only fitfully and only for an hour before it had been time for Carlisle to change her bandages.

Large hills surround the soccer field turned concert grounds, and it's one of those I lead Bella to now. Close enough that she can still see the stage but far enough away from the mass of people determined to jam themselves together in a knotted cluster at the front. The multitude of people, mainly youth, is a testament to the sad lack of entertainment in a small town. All of the bands are fairly local, and none are likely to ever achieve the superstardom they crave. Still what I've heard so far, at least when the song is either a cover of a current hit or a classic, has been decent enough as to be enjoyable.

I locate a suitable area and Alice, Emmett and I lay down the blankets and pillows. I would have preferred to keep a considerable distance between Mike Newton and I, but apart from being rude and having to explain such rudeness to Bella, it would seem I was stuck with him. He'd recovered it would seem from his Frisbee accident and now lies on his own blanket less than a dozen feet from ours. Luckily Jessica Stanley seemed to be providing him with enough entertainment at the moment to keep his hormones occupied. I'd be grateful were it not for the fact that I still had the child's unwelcome thoughts in my head. He really did have a one track mind, and the female lead in his sordid little fantasies changed with astonishing speed. When even Rose appeared at one point I seriously began contemplating using one of the cheap plastic glow necklaces Alice was currently trying to decorate everyone in, to strangle him.

Bella's laughter at Alice's attempt to wrap one around her ankle was a welcome distraction.

"Alice, quit. That tickles."

"Jeez, Alice! Be careful! I'm telling you, she has bird bones. You could snap her like a twig." Emmett scowls down at Alice his expression serious. Ever since Bella had passed out in his arms during the height of her fever, he'd been somewhat obsessed over her fragility. In short he was terrified and beginning to take the big brother role much too seriously.

Rose snorts in mild annoyance. "Em seriously. She's no more fragile than any other human, and if Alice hasn't broken her yet, she's hardly likely to now. Bella is her favourite toy after all."

"Babe, be nice," Emmett warns, but Bella just laughs.

"You do treat me like a Barbie doll some days, Alice with all the dress up and decorating." She indicates her ankle which is now crisscrossed in the gaudy neon splendour of at least half a dozen glow necklaces. "And don't think I didn't notice all the new clothes in Edward's closet either. Since I'm assuming he hasn't developed a cross dressing fetish, I would imagine they're for me?"

Alice rolls her eyes playfully and thankfully doesn't rat me out. "Oh Bella, come on. I've never had a little sister before, at least not one I remember; don't spoil all my fun with your issues about gifts." She inserts the perfect tone of sadness to the sister comment and Bella instantly falls for the bait.

"Aw, I'm sorry, Alice. I didn't mean to sound ungrateful." She reaches out and hugs Alice hard. "Thank you."

Beaming, Alice hugs her back and winks at me. _You owe me one, Edward._

I reach out and gently tug Bella back into my own arms and she settles against me with a contented sigh. "Just don't think I'm wearing the blue dress anytime soon, Alice. No matter how much you use the sister trick."

Even Rose can't help but laugh lightly at Alice's expression as she rises to her feet. "Come on, Emmett, you can practice not breaking your future sister in law on some of those crowd surfing idiots near the front of the stage."

"Ha, cool. I'll throw, you catch, babe."

As they melt into the crowd, Angela and Lauren make their way toward us, settling to their knees on the blanket beside Bella. As usual Angela's thoughts are a gentle wave of decency. Too bad the same couldn't be said for Lauren. She's giving Bella a cool smile but her thoughts are seething with irritation.

_Everyone fawning over her again. God the girl is so klutzy she even burns herself, and look at those bandages. Can she possibly play it up anymore?_

I tune her out and focus on Angela, who's asking Bella if she wants to come with them to get ice-cream from one of the food vendors.

"No thanks, Angela." She holds up her hands and remarks in self debasement. "Thanks to my stupidity, ice cream cones are a little hard to eat."

"Probably just as well, Bella. If you're going to fit in a wedding dress in a few weeks, you'll need to watch what you eat. Not that you're fat or anything, but wedding dresses show every flaw and extra pound." Lauren's tone is sugar, but her eyes flash with delight at her own malice.

Eric's appearance luckily prevents me from making a very unkind comment.

"Whatever, Lauren. Like Bella needs to worry about that," he snorts in derision, rolling his eyes at her. Casually he reaches out and gives her a small pinch at the waist. "Might want to think about how much ice-cream you're pounding away there though. Guys like a little junk in the trunk, but not too much. Am I right, Edward my man?" He tries to aim a comradely punch at my arm, and I move just enough so that the blow glances off to the side. Even still, he winces and looks down at his knuckles, flexing them experimentally. "Man, work out much?"

"You're aims a little off, Eric, that's all," I reply mildly. He's had a few beers, and while he isn't drunk he's more than a bit buzzed which is what gave him the confidence to touch me in the first place. With the exception of Bella, touching us is something most humans will try to avoid. He seems to be belatedly kicking into that mind frame and he stands with faked nonchalance, his thoughts disconcerted.

"Oh, hey, Mike, there you are." He steps over the blanket with the exaggerated care that only the intoxicated can manage, and throws himself at Mike like a sumo wrestler. Jessica's squeal of consternation is loud enough to be heard over the music and attract quite a bit of attention.

Angela's thoughts show her lack of tolerance with Eric's current condition, and she stands quickly. "Alice did you want to come?"

Lauren's thoughts are more than a bit shocked by Angela's offer, and I have to clench my jaw to keep from laughing at her inner horrified tirade. She's extremely happy when Alice refuses as well, and I hear her hiss angrily at Angela as they walk away.

"Angela, for God's sake, you can't just invite Alice Cullen to go for ice-cream. Are you trying to commit social suicide…?"

I have an extremely uncharitable thought that it is too bad Lauren doesn't crowd surf.

Jasper leans forward and comments as though he's read my mind. "Should've asked that Lauren girl if she wanted to go up front and check out the band, close and personal. If there was ever someone I'd like to see tossed into a mosh pit, it'd be her. She's like a little mini viper."

Alice laughs lightly. "Don't let her bother you, Jazz. Lauren's future holds little promise. She's going to end up a divorced, bitter, single mother with 3 kids and more junk in her trunk than an elephant. You know what they say, what goes around comes around."

"Yeah, they do say that don't they, darlin". He stands and holds out his hand to Alice. "Come on, let's go get Bella some ice-cream, if we're lucky, we'll be next in line to little miss viper. I haven't had a chance to use my intimidation skills in a very long time and I'm feeling the need to practice." He winks at me and laughs, a sound I rarely hear come from Jasper.

Bella looks up at him with a small bewildered smile. "You could tell I wanted ice-cream by my emotions?"

"That and the fact that your eyes lit up when we walked by the vendor stand earlier. So let me guess, mint chocolate chip?"

"Yuck. Strawberry please. In a bowl."

"Strawberry in a bowl it is, little lady," he mock tips a fake hat, purposely allowing his nonexistent southern accent to make a strong comeback and Bella smiles. He offers Alice his arm and they make their way down the hill.

"I guess that just leaves you and me, love." Not including the very active minds of hundreds. Although the noise in my head is easy enough to shut out with her in my arms.

She cuddles back against me and sighs. "Yes, this is nice. It just occurred to me that we next to never do stuff like this, you know, normal date stuff." I can feel the heat of her sudden blush and hear her pulse pick up nervously as she quickly tries to correct her statement. "Not that I'm complaining, you know that right? I mean it doesn't matter to me what we're doing, as long as we're together."

Placing a gentle kiss to her temple I chuckle lightly at her words. "You are right though. I talk a lot about wanting you to have human experiences but I rarely provide them for you, do I?"

"Edward…"

Instead of listening to her arguments or allowing her temper to flare, I tip her chin back and kiss her into silence. Her warm, sweet mouth instantly molds to mine and I deepen the kiss despite our public location. All around us in the dark other couples are taking advantage of blankets and warm summer air and the mood is very conducive to romance. The fact that our earlier activities had suffered an interruption only adds to that mood, and her soft, throaty little moan as my tongue touches hers reminds me who suffered the most from that interruption. She tries to turn more fully towards me and I have to tighten my grip on her waist to restrain her.

Breaking the kiss, I move my mouth to her ear and groan her name in a mixture of warning and approval. I can feel her blush send waves of warmth against my face and it's my turn to moan. "Later," I whisper, suffusing my tone with a wealth of promised pleasure.

She turns her head farther, finding my lips with unerring erotic accuracy. "Promise?" Her breath is a sweet moist rush across my lips and it's all I can do not to give in to my desires. I could so easily draw a blanket over her lap, slide my hands beneath, tug the lightweight fabric of her summer dress up over her thighs, slip my hand between them, and give her a real reason to moan. I want to do it so badly my fingers actually twitch.

Slightly ashamed of my thoughts, I kiss Bella softly; grateful that she can't know what I was thinking. The line between lust and love can blur so much at times it shocks me. I'm ceaselessly amazed at the conflicting emotions. How can I love, adore and want to treasure this precious creature, and yet at the same time want to spread her legs and have her screaming my name for everyone in this park to hear? Was it not bad enough that I had taken my pleasure from her in a moment of greed only hours ago, without thinking of her needs? What would she think of me were she to know my fantasies in this moment?

Forcing a light chuckle, I place one last lingering kiss on her mouth, hiding my thoughts. "Oh yes, love, I promise." I waggle my eyebrows at her, adopting a lascivious expression in an effort to amuse her. I do not want her to know my misgivings about our earlier actions. Despite being denied her own release, she had been positively glowing with satisfaction. The fact that she'd been able to turn me into a quivering mass beneath, - both literally and figuratively, - her fingertips, had pleased her to no end. Likewise it had not escaped my notice that it had not only pleased her, but had aroused her to a fever pitch as well. Had I been given the moment I needed to gather my fried mind and body circuits together, I was certain that she would have flared hotter and brighter in my arms than a dried thatch of kindling in a forest fire. The fact that I had been denied the pleasure of watching and feeling such a conflagration infuriated me to no end. That her pleasure was so integral to my own was no surprise. Yet knowing that mine could invoke such a strong response in her as well was not something I had previously considered beyond any normal range. Of course I'd known that she wanted to please me, Bella was one of the most loving and giving humans I had ever encountered and there wasn't a selfish bone in her body. But the fact that my pleasure could so enhance her own was definite food for thought.

She had turned back to listen to the music, and I forced my body to relax as much as I was capable. Soon enough we'd be alone, and I could and would lavish her with the attention she needed and deserved. For now I just wanted to be here in this moment with her, holding her in my arms and enjoying the night.

The music was loud, the crowd around us alive with that rare form of excitement that only music can generate. The current band was actually decent and I smiled as the lead singer commented on how he wanted to slow things down, give everyone a moment to catch their breath. He pulled out the customary acoustic guitar, sat on a stool and began to play. Bella wiggled her bottom to get closer to me and I shifted slightly sliding my arms around her waist so that her head could rest in the crook of my shoulder. The soft clean scent of her hair mingled with the warm enticing floral of her blood, and a surreal feeling of contentment floated around me. Suddenly nothing existed for me beyond her. The thoughts pulsating from hundreds of minds faded into one monotonous quiet hum, indiscernible in the back beat of the music.

I press my lips to her ear, smile and begin to sing the lyrics to her. *_I see you walking, you're a miracle on earth, I've been tempted, but now my will won't stray. You know that I'm a good man. It's going to take a little time, if you're waiting on a sign._

_I know I've hurt you, I won't hurt you anymore. Your tears have spoken, I want to wash your tears away. So please say you'll stay, I swear that I'm a good man._

She trembles softly in reaction and when she tips her head back at me her eyes are sparkling with unshed tears. With a tenderness that threatens to overwhelm me, I trace her trembling bottom lip with my finger tip and finish the song, making sure she reads the sincerity in my expression. The words are not my own but I couldn't have written more fitting ones if I'd tried.

_And I remember, like a matyr in the moonlight, this resistance, shall now be overcome. Please say you'll stay_.

I can't resist kissing her, tasting the salt of the tears as they spill and spice the sweet flavour of her mouth. Brushing my lips over hers, inhaling her scent and letting the thrilling burn alight the tissue of my throat.

The song ends and a new one, much more up-tempo begins and she laughs now as I grin down at her, still singing.

_** Your Dad said stay away from my daughter. The sun was coming down when I said, can't you just believe. And if you wait for me, I'll be the light in the dark if you lose your way. And if you wait for me, I'll be your voice when you don't know what to say. _

My smile fades slightly _I'll be your shelter, I'll be your fate, I'll be forever. _

Her fingers graze my cheek her gorgeous smile lighting up the night. "You already are, Edward."

A loud throat clearing turns our attention to Jasper and Alice's return. Jasper hands me Bella's ice cream with a large grin. "Sorry to interrupt, but the cheese factor is getting a little high over here, we thought we might need to do an intervention."

The mood of the crowd seems to be having a pleasant effect on Jasper's usual reserve and I laugh lightly as Bella blushes in my arms. "Don't mind him, love. He just doesn't like to be outdone in the romantic gesture department."

Laughing as well, he sits and drags Alice down in his lap bending her over his arm. Taking a deep unnecessary breath he makes a humming sound as if searching for the right key, winks at Bella, and then proceeds to sing to Alice with his unique and amazing voice. He rarely sings but when he does he could tempt angels out of heaven.

_We were only kids we ran like water, I told your Dad I love your daughter, the sun was coming down when I said _Alice_ just believe._

Emmett suddenly flops down beside us hard enough to send vibrations over the ground. He reaches up with one hand and drags an unimpressed Rose down on top of him, rolls until she's beneath him and adds his own off key, less than melodious voice to the mix.

I add my own voice to the growing din, bending Bella over my own arm which brings her closer to Rose, who rolls her eyes in exasperation then begins to laugh, matching the giggle's that spill from Bella's mouth.

_I'll be the last train, I'll be the last train, hold on to love, and wait for me. I'll be the last train, I'll be the last train home. _

The cheese factor did indeed hit a high note with the last line and while Rose, Alice and Bella howl with laughter, I high five my brothers, feeling for the first time in a very long time, alive, and young.

* * *

**A/N Next chap, Edward gets a chance to 'take care of Bella' and you know after his 'treat' he's going to be in the mood to reciprocate in a big way. I'm thinking it might be time for some of that accumulated knowledge he has to come into play. Let's face it, he has to have some serious tricks up his sleeve, right? ;)**


	16. Chapter 16

A/N WARNING- This chapter deals with female ejaculation. As per my writing style and the theme of this story, I've attempted to keep it as tasteful as possible. That being said, it is meant for adult readers and as such fully deserves its M rating.

* * *

Chapter 16 Liquid Fire

**EPOV**

The warm summer night air seems to hold on to the last throbbing beat of rock music as the final band yells their thank-you's to the dwindling crowd. People eager to beat the rush of traffic have already begun to leave, and I can feel the easing that comes with fewer thoughts invading my mind. Bella shifts her sumptuous little body against me, stretching with a small contented sigh. The sound is sweetly familiar, similar in many ways to the little noise she makes at the end of our lovemaking. A soft quiet hum of satisfaction that lets me know I've loved her well. My reaction is instant and hungry, and Jasper, catching the change in my previously contented emotion, glances up at me with a slightly raised brow. His thoughts are amused.

_Isn't it funny how the most innocent little sounds can drive you crazy?_

He's been enjoying the atmosphere around Bella and I since our ventures into intimacy have proven so successful. A lessening of tension and the new aura of delectation surrounding us are a welcome relief in comparison. Especially since the constant sexual tension and stress had apparently been slowly driving him mad trying to scratch an itch that wasn't his. He and Alice had been spending more and more time away from the house in recent weeks, and though I'd been aware of the reason, my own conflicts and aggravations hardly made me sympathetic to his plight. Now with so much of that disquiet resolved, I could once again appreciate the company of my brother.

Alice suddenly arches her back lithely with a small sigh of her own and Jasper laughs, winking at me while she rises to her feet. She gives him an amused look before helping Bella to her feet as well. "Come on, Bella. We should say good-bye to Angela before we leave."

Jasper and I begin to gather up the blankets and he nods in their direction as they walk away with their arms linked together, heads close in conversation. "Bella seems much better," he remarks vaguely.

"Meaning?" I ask with a small smirk. He returns the grin and shrugs.

"I was referring to her hands, Edward, but since you brought it up...?"

I snort with amusement as his thoughts, like an open book full of curiosity, spill from his head to mine. "Something specific you wanted to know, Jasper?"

"Not specifics, thanks," he makes a face. "Just wondering how things are going in _general_." He emphasizes the word general.

Since secrets and privacy are things we've all learned to live without over the years, I'm not bothered by his curiosity. "In general things are going...well."

He chuckles as he finishes folding the last blanket. "So would it be safe to say that your fears about hurting her were unfounded?"

My smile fades and I shrug. "I still have concerns. We've made a lot of progress." I leave the word but out of my sentence and yet it hangs in the air like an albatross weighing me down.

"Ah," he says simply, his thoughts filling in his missing words. It is often easier in some ways for us to speak in this manner, especially when the topic is so personal. Something an empathic and a telepathic are all too familiar with.

_So you haven't actually made love to her yet_.

"Not fully, no. We're still committed to waiting for that for our wedding night."

He nods in understanding. _Lots of ground in between._

The tone of his thoughts is amused, with a few sporadic visuals I could do without. He makes a strong effort to expunge those images before I need to remind him there are some things I just shouldn't know. Jasper has gotten very good at keeping his and Alice's intimate life out of his thoughts, but his past is filled with many indiscretions with beautiful women. Both mortal and immortal. The fact that he uses those images as a way to erect a screen of privacy around him and Alice is not lost on me. He is fiercely protective of his wife and soul mate, and unlike Emmett and Rosalie, who are not bothered by my involuntary invasions, he does his best to keep me out. Just as he's done his best to stay out of my relationship with Bella, despite his knowledge of our problems.

I shrug at his thoughts and he laughs out loud. "Seriously, Edward. Your mind is a veritable encyclopedia of acquired knowledge, are you telling me you aren't tempted to use it to your advantage?"

I repeat the shrug, albeit with a grin this time and he repeats the laugh. Together we turn to find Bella and Alice, the conversation dying a comfortable death. He wasn't really looking for an answer, and even if he had I wouldn't have told him. Especially since I've moved beyond tempted and well into planning. If everything goes as I'm hoping it will, my vast acquired, previously unappreciated and unwanted knowledge, is going to be help me repay Bella in spades for her earlier gift to me. Outside my expression is once again neutral, but inside, I am grinning like a Cheshire cat.

. . . . . .

Bella is quiet on the drive home and I reach out and brush her hair away from her cheek. The urge to touch her is strong.

"Are you hungry? There are still a few restaurants open, we could stop and get you something to eat" Her appetite was still not back to normal after her illness and she'd eaten very little today. Despite my eagerness to get her home her human needs as always come first.

She turns; adjusting her body until she is angled towards me then lays her head against the back of the seat. "No, I'm good."

"Bella, you've barely eaten at all these last few days," I admonish gently, but she merely shrugs.

"I'm fine, Edward. You worry too much." She watches me drive, her expression soft and thoughtful.

At her comment, I can't help but wonder if the opposite might be true. Perhaps I am not worrying enough as of late. Complacency or over confidence right now would be very unwise. I've wanted, ached, to have this level of intimacy with Bella, but for so long I'd believed that I would lack the control necessary for her safety. Despite my happiness at discovering all that we could share, I am not foolish enough to believe that our limited success meant my fears were unfounded. I know there are still challenges ahead and that I must never, ever, allow myself to become so comfortable that I forget for one second the dangerous nature of our actions. I remind myself that my eagerness for the rest of this night must at all times be balanced with caution.

She's quiet again, seemingly lost in some inward speculation. At moments like these there is little I wouldn't do to be able to read her mind. "Penny for your thoughts?" I ask, reaching out to pull a small copper coin from behind her ear and offering it to her. She takes it but doesn't smile or laugh at the small silly parlour trick.

"I love you, Edward." And just like that she grounds me. The feel of her soft warmth, the fragile nature of every inch of her body and those words all serve as the reminders I need. "Thank you for tonight, it was fun."

I trail my fingers over the delicate warmth of her cheek and jaw, and around her tiny shell-like ear. "You're welcome, Bella. I'm glad you had fun." I frown a bit and tap the tip of her nose. "You do know you only have to tell me what you want. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you, love. Nowhere I wouldn't take you."

"I know."

"Good." I take my eyes off the road and drive by feel so I can tilt her face towards me and kiss her softly and thoroughly. When I pull away I expect her nervous reprimand about watching the road, but she only smiles softly with a seductive look that makes me ache.

"I need you," she murmurs. Her voice goes straight through me, velvet soft and husky with the sharper edges of her desire. There is only minutes separating us from home, but it is too far. I pull off to the side of the road beneath a large Redwood tree, shove my seat back and reach for her. She comes eagerly, moving fluidly as I lift her past the console until she straddles my lap. Her hands instantly go to my hair, pulling hard as our lips meet. The warmth of her thighs against mine and the sound of her heart beating fast and eager drown out all sense of reason. This is not a private place and at any moment we could be discovered, but I could care less. She tastes like heaven and feels even better, and I've told her that I will give her anything she wants. There are no exceptions.

She moans softly and rocks her hips forward against the cradle of my pelvis. I am already hard and her movements only make me more so. I slide my hands beneath her dress, over her thighs and around her gorgeous bottom. The curves of her fill my hands with heat and softness and I urge her closer. She trembles and the scent of her arousal fills the car, sweet and a thousand times more addictive than the scent of her blood. That I do not need to resist it fills me with aching tenderness. I groan her name softly.

A small tremor of desire skirts down her spine and I shift the seat even farther back so that I can move forward, allowing her bent knees to press against the back of my seat. A part of me is at war with the idea that a car is a less than ideal place for privacy, while another eagerly recognizes that this is as good a place as any to begin. Yet another part picks up the sound of an approaching vehicle, though I make no move to stop as I move my kisses from her mouth to her neck. There is still at least two minutes before that car will cross paths with this one. More than enough time.

Bella moans loudly as I slip one hand gently down the front of her panties, bucking against me. Definitely more than enough time. Her body has been waiting all day for this; I won't even need the full two minutes. Her back arches and she begins to tremble as I push one finger inside and then another, angling my palm so that every movement presses her against the base of my thumb. Her back arches further and I curse softly, shifting again and bringing my bent leg up, bracing it against the steering wheel to protect her body. The extra support allows her to push down against my hand and it's exactly what she needs. She lets go with a long cry of pleasure that seems to awaken every dormant cell in my body. Relaxing slowly she lowers her head to rest on my shoulder as her breath exhales in sporadic pants.

"God, Edward," she moans. "That was...intense." I can feel her blushing and I chuckle lightly, placing one last quick kiss on her lips before easing her back to her seat. I have her seatbelt snapped in place and the car back on the road before the approaching vehicle has a chance to even get close enough to be seen.

Taking her wrist, I lift her hand to my mouth and place a feather light kiss against her bandaged palm, blowing my cold breath against it. She'd had that hand tangled fairly hard in my hair at the last moments and though she was not likely to have felt much discomfort then, it was surely hurting now. She proves my theory right by sighing and releasing the last residual bits of tension in her arm as the cold soothes her.

She's still blushing and I can't resist releasing her hand and trailing the backs of my fingers over the hot surface of her cheek. "I wouldn't call that intense, love. Beautiful, sexy as hell, yes, but intense? No, I'm saving that for when I get you home."

I let my hand trail down to her neck and rest on her pulse. It speeds up at my words and I smile at her absolute frail human perfection. I'm not done with her, not by far.

**BPOV**

Edward is in a strange mood tonight. I would have never in a million years expected his actions in the car. Not my Edward, my proper 18th century gentleman. I can feel the annoying heat flood my cheeks yet again and I turn my face to the window. It's a pointless move. I know he can read every human nuance that overtakes me.

It isn't just him either. My own behaviour is suspect as well. I can't seem to stay in control of myself. I've invested all this time in keeping my actions in check around him and in a few short days all my accumulated abilities are shot to hell. I let him make me come in a car at the side of the road. Let him? Ridiculous. I'd all but begged him to do it.

I steal a surreptitious peak at him and of course he smirks, though his eyes never leave the road.

"Proud of yourself are you?" I instantly regret the words. I kept my tone light, playful, but when he looks at me I know he can read the insecurity on my face. I try to turn away but it is too late. He creates a soft hum of neutrality in his throat and pulls the car into the garage. He's out and around to my side before I even begin to fumble with my seatbelt. Releasing the catch in another blurred movement he gently helps me from the car, closes the door and backs me against it. Placing one cold finger beneath my chin he tilts my face upwards and spends an excruciating minute studying me.

"Am I proud of myself you ask?" He sighs and his sweet, cool breath fans my face and makes my knees feel weak. His perfect features are set in a contemplative frown and his eyes penetrate mine making it impossible to look away. "Proud is a strong word with negative connotations. Pleased would be more of an apt descriptive."

"Are we going to argue semantics?" I ask incredulously.

His smile lights up his face. "Hardly," he says with a tight laugh. "But you did ask me a question, did you not? I was only trying to answer."

"It was a rhetorical question, Edward," I reply, as yet another blush gives away my unease with the topic. "It's pretty obvious that you are."

He runs his thumb along my lower lip, preventing me from pulling it under my teeth. A move that always seems to make him vaguely uneasy for obvious reasons. "Should I not be pleased that I can bring the woman I love pleasure?" His tone takes on a slight teasing edge and he brushes my hair back and begins placing velvet soft cool kisses over the heated skin of my neck.

I can't suppress the small moan that escapes my mouth as his kisses move lower, dipping into the hollow of my throat. "It's so easy for you, Edward. You touch me and I fall apart, even in a car, it's embarrassing."

His deep-throated laugh sends tingling vibration across my skin as his tongue touches my collarbones. Raising his head he cups my face, his expression turning serious. "And it isn't easy for you? Have you forgotten this afternoon, Bella? Just the lightest touch of your fingertips and I'm an adolescent boy with no self control." His lips find mine, coaxing another soft moan out of me.

"I ache for you, Bella, just as much as you ache for me, love." His lips move to my ear. "All night, I wanted with every fibre of my being to touch you. You have no idea the thoughts that went through my head. It is a miracle my self control lasted long enough to get you into the car."

I have to swallow several times to find my voice. His lips are once again moving down the side of my neck. "Really?" There is no power to my tone, the word escaping as a whisper, though of course he hears me.

I can feel him smile against my skin. "Yes, really," he replies softly. "Does it please you then, to know that you can make me feel this way? Did it not please you this afternoon, when I lost myself to your touch?"

His words and the memory send an instant rush of heat and wetness between my legs. "Yes," I whisper. Even had I wanted to it would be pointless to deny it. My body gives him every answer before my mouth can.

He lifts his head and his lips twist into a half grin and I know he can smell me. "And you think it should be any different for me, love?"

He doesn't wait for my answer, but lifts me around the waist lowering me to the hood of the car. The metal is cold and unrelenting against my back and he is as equally hard and cold and unrelenting as his body leans down to cover mine. I can't help but whimper as a new wave of need begins to escalate inside my body. Every inch of me starts to pulse and thrum with that odd mixture of electricity that exists between him and I.

"The smell and taste of your skin, the sounds you make, the way you tremble and call my name when you come apart in my arms. Ah, my Bella. You are such a gift, such a treasure. One I've waited over a hundred years to open. I'm like a starving man, denied sustenance for so long he becomes a glutton."

He laughs darkly, his eyes burning down on mine. He hunted only yesterday but right now you would never know it by the darkness that drains the gold away. He moves back, and then sweeps me into his arms without effort, carrying me inside the house. He has no need to look where he's going and he never breaks eye contact.

"Tonight, love? I'm going to devour every one of your sounds and sighs. Every shiver, every tremor, every racing heartbeat. I'm going to satiate myself on your pleasure until you think you have nothing left to give me." His dark perfect smile grows as we pass through the living room and head for the stairs. All my nerve endings seem to be coming alive with each sinful promise that passes over his lips.

"And then, just when you think you can't possibly take anymore? I'm going to show you that you are very, very wrong."

**EPOV**

I take my time undressing her. The long trail of tiny buttons on the back of her dress is more decorative than necessary and I could remove it just as easily without touching a single one. My hasty actions in the car were not something I wanted to repeat now however. Her body is capable of pleasures she doesn't yet know or understand, but they aren't pleasures that can be accomplished by demand or force. In order to have her body respond the way I want it to, I need to take my time and play her like a fine instrument.

Kissing the nape of her neck and each tiny bump on her spine, I drag the straps from her shoulders, holding the fabric in my hands and letting the soft cotton skim her flesh on the way down. Miniature chill bumps dot her skin beneath my lips and tongue and I breathe out against her, rewarded by a small shiver. I've opened the windows and the warm humid summer air spills into the room, creating a perfect contrast between warmth and cold. I kiss the small of her back, damp with salty heat and the pure floral essence of Bella. I can't help but groan as her flavour laces my tongue and invades all my senses.

My fingertips trail down her ribs and over the soft swell of her hips before moving down the backs of her legs. I can feel the muscles jump slightly beneath my touch. Her head falls back and her long hair spills in waves over her creamy flawless skin.

In my newborn phase it had taken countless hours of practice to touch fragile things without breaking them. As I carefully free the delicate leather strap of her sandals from their tiny silver buckles, I have never appreciated the effort more. In my large hands her ankles are impossibly small and a million times more fragile than her shoes. The small, raised line of a vein fascinates me and I caress it slowly, curling my palms around her calves, stroking back up to the thin satin skin behind her knees. Placing my mouth there makes Bella gasp and then moan, and I flick my tongue over each one, coaxing the sounds of her pleasure to enhance my own. Upwards over her thighs, the perfect curves of her bottom and back up her spine to her neck. My hands follow my mouth, and by the time I've returned to a standing position behind her she is panting.

Tossing my own shirt and pants into the corner I lift her and carry her to the bed, lay her carefully on the covers. I take a long moment to just look at her and marvel at her perfection.

"Bella, do you have any idea at all how gorgeous you are?" A warm blush of color sends her scent stronger into the air, and the burn in my throat intensifies. I no longer feel the sensation as pain or discomfort. Instead it arouses me further and it takes all of my will to remember my aim. Bella's pleasure is the only goal tonight.

"I'm not half as gorgeous as you are, Edward," she murmurs breathlessly, her eyes moving over my body. I have little use for vanity and yet the fact that she finds me attractive has become an odd source of pride for me as of late. I can't help but laugh a little as I shake my head.

"If you could only see yourself through my eyes, love. You wouldn't be so quick to say that." Moving on to the bed beside her I pull her close and kiss her, letting as much of my passion through as is safe. She moans against my lips and I drink in the sound, greedy as always for her responses. Her hands move to my hair and as much as I love the feel of her fingers against my scalp I move to stop her. Anchoring them above her, I shake my head at her playfully.

"Ah ah, love. Be still."

Her heart beat picks up once again, and the position of her hands above her head causes her back to arch presenting me with the perfect jutting curve of each breast. All the useless air in my lungs leaves in a rush and I groan loudly.

"Bella, God. Look at you." Releasing her hands, I cup one breast and nuzzle the other with my mouth. Her back arches further, and the thumping of her heart accelerates so that I can feel each vibration against my hand, my lips, and my tongue. Her nipples pearl tight and hard under my touch and she begins to whimper, twisting her body more towards me as I reach down to grasp her hip in restraint. I feel her begin to move her arms and I growl against her skin in reprimand, raising my head briefly.

"Don't move, Bella."

"I want to touch you too, Edward."

I lower my head back to her breasts. "No." She subsides with a small groan of unhappiness but my mouth begins to move down her body and she forgets her displeasure immediately. While my mouth trails down her stomach my hand moves up her thigh, and finally my two separate paths meet. She cries out as I begin to love her with my lips and tongue and fingers. God, she is so sweet, so incredibly, erotically sweet. Her movements quickly become unrestrained and I wrap one arm over her hips, locking her down against the bed. Curling my tongue over the small swollen bud of her clitoris, I press one finger deeper inside of her body then I've allowed myself before. Still being cautious enough to avoid making her bleed, I stroke her intently, using an insistent pressure that I've been reluctant to use in the past out of fear of hurting her. With a better understanding now of the limits of her body I am braver and I let her reactions govern mine. Her response is perfect. One long deep cry and then her legs are falling open further to accommodate my touch.

"Edward, oh…"

I stop teasing her with my tongue, wanting her to focus now on the internal sensations. I groan her name loudly and ease off on the restraint of her hips to allow her to move against my hand, to guide me in pleasing her. She does exactly what I want and between her responses and my heightened senses I find what I'm seeking. A small, firm, ridge of flesh just beneath her pubic bone. I curl my finger against it, varying the pressure, feeling it swell beneath the stimulation. Her hips begin a perfect rhythm that focuses my touch with greater precision and her breathing becomes uneven. I watch her reactions, fascinated with the growing flush on her skin, the increased heat, the way she's becoming so much wetter for me... Dear Lord, she's so perfect...

"Edward, umm, that feels…so…God what are you doing to me?"

I place my tongue back against her, not wanting her to think, only feel. Her hands come down on the back of my head and though I know I should restrain her, stop her from hurting her tender flesh, I don't have the will. I like the feel of her touching me, love how she's guiding me, taking what she wants, what she needs. My mouth is full of her flavour and I have to use all my restraint and capacity for dual thinking to remember not to suckle her. It would feel so good to draw her tiny little clitoris into my mouth, to scrape my teeth over her…_Christ_. I pull away fast, shocked at my insanely dangerous need and she cries out in frustration.

"Don't stop, oh God, Edward, please. I need…you."

Tortured, wanting to give her what she needs but not trusting the powerful urge that had taken over, I replace my mouth with my other hand. Turning my full attention back on her I slow my movements inside her body, focusing more now on the pleasure I can give her with my other hand. She is not quite ready for what I have planned; her body too tense and I can already feel her fighting her body's natural inclinations. I press the tip of my finger against that small swelling inside and rub gently now, stroking without demand. My other finger circles her wet, swollen little bud, fast and insistent.

Her breathing stops and her body tightens, poised on the edge. "Come for me, love," I groan and my words are all she needs. She takes in a small gasp of air and cries my name once before shattering against my hands.

I draw her climax out as long as I can, enraptured by how beautiful she looks, lost in that moment of her purest pleasure. When the last wave breaks I move away and free myself from the suddenly unbearable restriction of my briefs. I need to be close to her, skin to skin, with nothing between us. Bella wraps her arms around my neck as I come down over her. Her legs rise as well and slide around my hips, pressing us intimately together. I lose the innate ability to breathe.

Sighing softly against my ear she trembles at the contact and moans my name. Her hips begin to instinctually move against me and it is so unexpectedly perfect I forget myself for a moment. She is so wet, so warm, so enveloping and soft. The craving to be inside of her is never stronger than it is in this position. Still, I have no desire to take more than this now. I am just as terrified by the prospect as I am aroused and that makes it easier to reach down and cup her bottom. To lift her higher against me and deny the craving.

Bella moans again, her hips arching against our tender rocking. She's beginning to reach the level of sensitivity I'm trying to provoke so her sudden tiny orgasm is not unexpected. My reaction to it is, however. Before I can disgrace myself I try to draw back, but Bella is having none of it. She locks her ankles together, her tiny heels digging in to my ass. I could break her hold with no effort but I don't want to hurt her physically or emotionally. I allow her to draw me back down and I press my mouth to hers kissing her greedily.

"Dangerous," I growl against her lips. "You are positively dangerous." She smiles beneath my kiss reminding me that she is just as pleased by my pleasure as I am by hers. I move back just a fraction of an inch and reach between our bodies to guide my erection more firmly against her warmth. She is very wet and the heat is beyond pleasurable. My whole body trembles.

"Is this what you want?" I ask with a low dangerous growl, warning her, warning myself that I'm losing the fight to have this night be only for her. Only the memory of this afternoon and how aroused she'd become by my pleasure keeps me from pulling away and ending this. I'm willing to concede defeat if it helps bring her closer to that point of no return. And honestly, I am beginning to need the relief. Each moan, each climax I've brought her too has been driving my own arousal up until it is now almost unbearable.

Her eyes lower so she can watch my movements and she moans, reaching down to trail those lethal fingertips against me again. My hips buck harder against her in reaction and she arches against the friction with a hiss of desire. Her fingers suddenly clench down around me and she trembles all over.

"Edward."

I dip my fingers inside of her body quickly and find her spot again, rubbing firmly and insistently while she climaxes. Her inner muscles clench hard for a moment and then relax again and I know she is almost ready.

**BPOV**

Edward is keeping his promise. Every time I think I can't possibly take anymore he starts over and my body is his completely. He owns me in every way. His fingers move inside of me hitting that incredibly sensitive spot he's found with relentless accuracy. Stars explode everywhere and I come so hard I scream.

When I can open my eyes again he's watching me, his expression intense, transfixed.

"God, Bella, you are so beautiful when you come."

I blush hard and close my eyes unable to bear how he makes me feel. Just like that he makes me hot all over again, despite the fact that I've just had the most intense orgasm of my life. It doesn't matter that I've only ever had a few. As if he can actually read my mind he lowers his head and kisses me slowly before murmuring my name in quiet demand. I open my eyes and he moves his fingers from inside my body and places them in his mouth with a lethal growl. He begins to move against me again, reaching down to tug my hand away from where it was still resting. If I'm feeling any pain my brain isn't acknowledging it yet. Edward places it gently on the pillow and holds it there. I couldn't move if I tried and as usual the proof of his strength makes my arousal rise even higher. It happens again almost immediately. One of those small, yet intense sensations that sweep me under and steal my breath. My free hand clenches around his rock solid, cold bicep as everything spins away, and I'm only barely aware of his hot whispered praise in my ear.

"That's it, sweetheart; let your body have whatever it wants. Let go, don't fight it."

I moan his name over and over, clinging to him for support.

I have no control over my movements and it brings our bodies closer together so that no space exists between us. The friction increases and he suddenly groans and I feel him grow harder and impossibly more rigid all over his body. Within seconds the cold spill of his release covers my stomach and he moans my name like a prayer.

Unlike the venom in his mouth, his release leaves no residual sensation beyond its silky cool texture. Still, Edward is not one to be complacent when it comes to my safety and he has me cleaned off in seconds. When he's done I'm expecting him to come and lay beside me. When his cold hands clamp down around my hips and pull me closer, I'm surprised. He nuzzles my neck, his cool breath sending a delicious shiver over my super sensitive skin. I feel stretched tight, glowing and thin all over and as if he senses this he keeps his touch light as air. He kisses his way over my neck and chest, his hands coming up to cup my breasts. I tremble as he brushes his open mouth over one and his thumb over the other.

"So lovely, my Bella." His cool whisper prickles my skin, sending more need through my body. God, he's going to kill me with pleasure.

"Edward, stop. I can't take anymore." Even as I say the words my traitorous body arches, seeking more contact with his touch. He touches the tip of his tongue to the tip of my breast and electric darts of sensation snap down my body, centering between my legs.

He laughs darkly against my skin. "Yes you can, Bella."

"No, I can't." Despite my protest my legs fall open as his fingers skim my thighs. My hands clench spasmodically as his kisses move lower, over the slope of my stomach. He moves lower as well and then his cold mouth meets the searing heat that throbs between my legs and I almost sob. His lips and tongue move over me with feather light accuracy, teasing, testing and driving me insane. Not even the flare of pain in my palms stops me from clenching the blanket beneath me.

His tongue softly rubs against my most sensitive spot and all I can do is pant. It's not enough, it's too much, and it feels so good I can't think. His long cold fingers move inside of me, first one and then a second. He strokes them in and out, gently matching the rhythm to the light flick of his tongue. For a moment it's sweet and perfect, but then suddenly his rhythm grows more demanding and he begins to once again curl his fingers, finding that spot, pressing harder and harder with each movement. The pace changes, becomes quicker so that I can't follow it, can't do anything at all...oh...oh...oh...

Hot spikes of pleasure slam into me with each pass and everything inside of me wants to clench down, almost as though I want to push his fingers away when that is the very last thing I want to do.

"Edward, stop," I plead again, even though I don't really want him too. "I can't it's too…oh!" His fingers move faster now and the pressure inside feels so sweet, so good and I want…God I don't know what I want. My moans have become one repeated sobbing sound.

"Edward…you're…I." I can't be coherent; my mind is melting as fast as my body. The sensation shifts again and I don't have any idea what he's doing but he's made it worse, or…oh God…better…so much better. "You're killing me, Edward, God, what are you doing…umm, please…please."

"Trust me, Bella. I'm not killing you," he laughs softly, his tone rich with dark hints of sin and wanting. He moves until he's kneeling between my legs then using one arm to balance himself he's half over me, his eyes holding mine. My back arches and he lowers his mouth to mine, running his tongue over my bottom lip. He's breathing his sweet breath into my face filling my head with the euphoria that seems to perfectly match the pleasure he's granting my body. "I am going to take you to heaven though, if you'll let me," he breathes. His voice turns insistent, darker and more powerful. "Let me, love. Trust me. Let your body do what it wants, let it do exactly…what…_I_…want."

The pressure builds impossibly sweet and high and everything in me tightens with the unbearable urge to push down and let go. I can feel my back arcing off the bed and then pure sensation slams into me and carries me away in the most intense wave ever. It's too much but I can't stop, can't breathe, can't really even think. Some last lingering coherent part of my mind feels the strong rush of euphoric release, and the wetness that follows, soaking my thighs and Edwards's hand. I know I should care, should be embarrassed, but the two hemispheres of my body and my brain are a million miles apart, and all I can really do is let the current take me under.

**EPOV**

She doesn't seem to notice when I place the towel beneath her. She's still fighting the urge her body is experiencing, but her innocence is working with me now. If she knew what was about to happen she might find it frightening, which is why I haven't told her what I want.

I press my fingers harder and more insistent against that firm ridge of wet, hot flesh deep inside her body and I feel her inner muscles clench harder than before against me. Her back arches off the bed and I relax my arm, allowing her body to push my fingers out. Focusing my caresses now on her clitoris, I splay my fingers over her, groaning in ecstasy as the full force of her pleasure releases against my hand and wrist. The liquid feels hot and silky and is scented so strongly with Bella's pure floral sweetness that it nearly makes me incoherent with desire. My erection throbs and I whisper hot naughty praise into her ear, though I doubt she hears any of it as her body trembles and shudders over and over again beneath mine.

She is mine, body and soul, all of her. Everything she is and everything she has to offer, every ounce of her pleasure. I want to move down between her thighs and lap up every drop, but I force myself to remain where I am as she slowly comes back to herself.

Gorgeous brown eyes open hesitantly, and she exhales slowly. It takes a minute, but eventually the reaction I was expecting begins. It starts with the telltale sign of color that blooms over her cheeks. I don't allow it to go any farther.

"No, you didn't," I say firmly, but with small smirk of teasing.

She swallows then licks her lips, her blush growing despite my words.

"I didn't?"

I run my hand down her thigh and then hold my hand up in illustration. One clear drop glistens on the end of my finger. Even her weak human senses should be able to detect the very marked difference between her fear and the reality.

"Oh." Her tone is quiet, but not really any less embarrassed. "Then what…?"

I laugh lightly, unable to suppress my delight with her innocence. She has taught me so much over the last while about feeling human and alive that it thrills me to know there is something I can teach her about being human.

I lower my mouth to her ear with a grin. "It's called female ejaculation, love. It's reputed to be a very pleasurable experience for a woman." Her blush grows even more and I can feel the heat radiating off of her skin onto mine. The sensation is delightful and I kiss her still rapid pulse point, letting my tongue absorb the gentle vibration. She shifts her body beneath mine and I move to the side, resting my head on my arm so I can continue to look down at her. Her hand reaches down and touches the towel, and her eyes study mine speculatively. She's still mildly embarrassed, but true to form, her natural curiosity and strength don't permit her to wallow in it.

"You knew that would happen?" Her cheeks flare briefly again, though she holds my gaze.

"Not for certain, no. In theory, all women can experience this kind of climax, but not all do."

"Did you learn this in medical school?" She sounds astonished and nervous all at the same time, and I can't help but smile.

"Among other places."

I can see her mind making the connections quickly and her eyes open wider. "Oh."

"I've been alive for over a century, Bella. Physically I've experienced little of sex, but mentally? Well, let's just say, I have a certain accumulation of knowledge that far exceeds the conventional norm." I watch her face with a small level of anxiety, uncertain of her reaction. She's quiet for a long minute, contemplating my admission.

A small dusting of color flushes over her soft skin suddenly. Trailing my fingers lightly over her stomach, I sigh in frustration. "What are you thinking, Bella."

"Oh," she sighs with a small nervous laugh, as though I've caught her at something. "I guess I was just thinking about stereotypical beliefs and such."

Her mind is such a complete mystery; I can't follow her train of thought at all. My frustration grows exponentially as the seconds tick by without her elaborating further. Finally, I can't resist prompting her. "And?"

She shrugs slightly, turning on her side to face me. Her fingers begin to trace patterns over my chest and the action of touching me seems to relax her further. "There is that belief that the girl should be innocent, but the guy should be experienced when it comes to sex." Her eyes rise to mine and she smiles softly. "When you first admitted to being a virgin like me, you told me that this wasn't possible between us, so I didn't think a lot about it. Later, when you agreed to try, I thought it was a good thing, a wonderful thing that we could learn, together."

I'm not capable of human reactions, but if I were, I was certain this would be where I would describe a sinking feeling in my stomach. "And now?" Would she be disappointed?

"And now," she murmured softly, leaning forward to place a warm kiss on my cold skin. "Now, I'm thinking that perhaps I get the best of both worlds. We still get to learn together, since experiencing all of this is as new to you as it is to me. But it helps quite a bit I think, having one of us know...things, and I can't really complain after how what you just did to me felt."

I hadn't realized I was holding my breath until her words. I release it with a loud exhale of relief and pull her tightly but gently into my embrace with a small laugh. "God, I love you!"

She laughs lightly as well. "Good." Pulling back a bit she sighs again. "I am feeling a little inadequate though. It's been hard enough with my hands being this way, and hardly being able to touch you. But now well..." she trails off biting her lip. "I don't know very much about how to please you."

I can't help but laugh at her adorable misguided insecurities. "Bella, love, the male anatomy is hardly a mystery. In fact, I would feel very safe in saying it couldn't be any more straight forward. It's your delectable little body that is complex and magical." I kiss the tip of her nose, her soft mouth and then her forehead. Her eyes are growing tired and I still need to change her bandages and apply the ointment to her burns. With Carlisle gone for the night it is a necessary task that I don't relish. I despise the very thought of causing her pain. "Besides, love, have you not noticed that even without the full use of your hands, you are pleasing me in every way possible? Ways I'd never dared to hope or dream for? If I can please you even half as much, I will consider myself lucky."

She blushes a bit more. "I think it would be safe to say that it's more than half as much. Or weren't you paying attention?"

"Mmm, I was most definitely paying attention, Bella." The Cheshire cat grin I'd been able to suppress earlier breaks free and I pull her closer, rolling onto my back and taking her with me. Carefully cupping her beautiful face, I draw her down for a slow lingering kiss, enjoying the feel of her naked skin against mine. "Ask me again," I murmur against the sweetness of her lips.

She's slightly breathless from my kiss and despite her fatigue I can feel her body awakening once more to mine. She catches on immediately and rolls her eyes slightly before repeating her earlier comment verbatim. She lowers her voice to a soft, seductive whisper. "Proud of yourself are you?"

I run my tongue lightly over her bottom lip, eliciting a perfect shiver before answering with a grin. "Very."

* * *

**A/N This story is quite the lemon tree isn't it? And you know, lemon trees need a lot of nourishment so hit that review button and feed me...er... I mean, feed the tree. ;-)**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17 The Flames that Bind

BPOV

This, I've decided, is my perfect place. Here. Right now. In Edward's bed, and Edward's arms, his lips moving like cold polished granite over mine. His hands sliding over my bare back, my pyjama top in a ball somewhere by my feet and the sun spilling through the windows. The rays fall against the bed, igniting the diamond sparkle on the skin of his bare chest.

His lips press harder against mine and he deepens our kiss, his tongue sweet and cold sliding into my mouth and making it hard to breathe. With an exquisitely gentle touch, his hand sweeps over my spine and around my side to my breast. He cups it with a groan and toys gently with my nipple. My back arches and the air in my lungs escapes in a small gasp. He looks down where his hand rests and groans again even louder.

"God, Bella. You have the most beautiful breasts."

I can't help the blush that comes automatically with his hushed praise, any more than I can help the knee jerk reaction that has me muttering in self deprecation. "Too small."

His soft laugh against my neck sends cool delicious exhalations over my skin. I shiver in pleasure and completely forget to feel inadequate.

"Bella, you are utterly ridiculous."

"Oh..." His mouth replaces his fingers and I don't just forget to feel inadequate, I forget to think period.

"Perfect."

The vibration of that one word against my flesh sends so much pleasure through my body I can't help but moan.

"Do that again, love." His voice is a rough growl and my back arches even more, desperately craving more contact.

"Oh...do what...again? Mmm."

"That. I love that noise." He pinches the very tip of my nipple between his forefinger and thumb and I swear shockwaves reverberate from my head to my toes.

"Edward...umm."

"Umm. I like that one even better."

"Oh."

He chuckles. "Perfect."

In one swift move that leaves me slightly disoriented, he rolls our bodies until he's over me, his hands moving to the waistband of my pants. One small tug and his fingers find the bare skin of my hip before freezing with a low frustrated growl.

"Damn it."

Edward never curses, so I'm more than a little surprised as I breathlessly whisper, "What?"

"Alice is about to interrupt."

"Noooo," I can't keep the whine out of my tone and he laughs and kisses the tip of my nose.

"Unfortunately, yes."

Her sudden knock is light but insistent.

"I'm coming in you two," she sing songs, abruptly opening the door with no further warning. Edward is already standing at the side of the bed. Reaching for his t-shirt on the floor with one hand he uses the other to flick the blanket over me before the door is fully open.

"Don't worry, my eyes are closed," she laughs with an impish smile as she dances into the room.

"Mine aren't." Emmett skids into the room behind her and stops only a foot from the bed, grinning hugely. His smile fades as he takes in the blanket that covers me and Edward standing at the side of the bed calmly pulling his shirt over his head. "Damn it. What I'd miss the action by? Twenty seconds?"

"Fourteen actually," Alice laughs.

"Damn it!"

"Emmett." Edward's face is calm as he picks up his watch off the dresser and places it on his wrist. Too calm, but Emmett isn't paying him any attention. He has my pyjama top dangling from his finger and he's grinning at the growing blush on my face.

"Bella, is this yours?"

Tucking the blanket tighter around my chest I try to remain somewhat dignified in my reply. "You know it is, Emmett."

"You know, I'm not much for human girls, but you do look very hot with nothing but that blush and that blanket."

"Emmett?"

Emmett finally clicks in to Edward's tone and turns to look at him warily.

"Yes, Edward?"

"You're making Bella uncomfortable; I don't like that. I'm going to give you a five minute head start. And then? I'm coming for you."

"Aww, stop being such a spoil sport. You've seen Rose and me at it a million times. I'm just trying to even the score."

"Four minutes, fifty six seconds."

"Shit."

Edward laughs quietly as Emmett vanishes in a rush of air that upsets a few cd's he has stacked on his desk. Rolling her eyes, Alice scoops up my top and begins yanking it over my head.

"Alice, stop it. I can dress myself, you know."

"Yes, I know. But the two of you seem to have an aversion to clothing lately and Charlie is on his way. I don't think he'd be impressed if he caught you two in bed together, even if you are getting married in six weeks."

"Charlie is on his way?" Frowning, Edward runs his fingers through his hair and arches an eyebrow.

"Yes," Alice answers acerbically, studying me with a highly contemplative air that instantly makes me nervous. "Did you forget, Bella?"

"Kind of."

"Bella? You knew Charlie was coming?" Alice starts pulling a brush through my hair as Edward helps to extricate me from the blankets. His question has me biting my lip.

"Yes. He's picking me up to take me home."

Edward's expression instantly becomes cross. "Why didn't you tell me this?"

"I was going to and then...well, I kind of got distracted." Emmett would love this blush. I'm glad he's off trying to hide from Edward.

"Bella, your hands are not healed. They still need treatment."

I wiggle my un-bandaged hands at him and try to make my smile light-hearted. I'm not any happier about going home than he is. We've been existing in our own blissful little bubble for an entire week. But it has to end sometime, and the last few days have had me feeling increasingly guilty about abandoning Charlie. "They're much better, Edward, and I'm a big girl, I can do the treatments." His face instantly tightens further with disapproval and I continue quickly before he can argue with that line of reasoning. "Or, you could come over and help me?"

"You most certainly cannot do the treatments yourself, Bella. How would you manage the bandages?"

"I'm not wearing them now, and I'm fine. Maybe they aren't so necessary anymore."

"The only reason you aren't wearing them now is because _you_ distracted _me_." He gestures to the tray with the bandages and ointments. It's true, and I blush as I remember pressing moist kisses against his neck and jaw while he'd been attempting to unravel the gauze. It had been surprisingly easy to distract him. One light admonishment, one heavy sigh and he'd tossed the bandages onto the tray. A few seconds later we'd both been half undressed and residing in my happy place.

"They are still necessary," he continues with a small crooked grin at my newest blush. It vanishes as quickly as it came and his expression resumes its former seriousness. "Carlisle told you, if it's not too uncomfortable you can sleep without them, but that is all. You're still very susceptible to infection and you know it."

Sighing, I disentangle myself from Alice's amused clutches before she can turn a simple hair-brushing into one of her elaborate makeovers. She isn't any happier about my decision to go home than Edward is, so his arguments are not something she intends to leave the room for.

I move to him and slip my arms around his waist which feels even stonier than normal with his tension. "Edward, I promise I'll be careful, and I will follow all of Carlisle's instructions to the letter. But it's time for me to go home."

Some of the tension eases and he cups my face between his hands with a frustrated grunt. "Love, you can't even wash your own hair yet. The chemicals in shampoo will..."

Tightening my arms a little I interrupt him. "Alice can come over and help me with that." I lower my lashes a bit at him. "Or you can." I'm rewarded with the instant darkening of his eyes that creates a warm glow deep in my core. Shower time with Edward has fast become one of my favourite times. He loves washing my hair and he's managed to turn a mundane and routine chore into something sensual and relaxing. I'm very much looking forward to the day when we can spend more than a few minutes in the warmth and steamy atmosphere of his huge walk in shower. Right now anything more than that in the moist heat makes my hands feel as though they've been doused with acid.

He might like the idea of continuing to care for me, but he's not convinced. I stop him from finding a new argument by saying the one thing I know he can't argue with, and the one reason that has me returning home.

"Edward. There's only six weeks until the wedding and then you and I will be together forever. But Charlie and I..." I hear Alice slip quietly out of the room and Edward's eyes grow sad. His fingers caress the side of my face gently. "I need to go home. I need to spend time with him before...I can't anymore." Prickling darts of heat prelude the tears I don't want him to see, and I blink rapidly trying to chase them away before he notices. I don't want to discuss my change or his all consuming worries about my change. My decision is set in stone and not even the intense sadness I feel at leaving the people I love will change that.

Thankfully he doesn't argue or bring up the topic we both seem to have made our peace with. Instead he releases a rush of sweet scented breath and calls Alice's name. She's instantly back in the room.

"How long before Charlie arrives."

She rolls her eyes. "He's going to get delayed giving Mr. Benson a speeding ticket. Unless Mr. Benson changes his mind about rushing to his appointment in his brand new Porsche, he'll be here in 35 minutes."

"Good." Edward hasn't once taken his eyes off me, and he smiles invitingly. "Please close the door on your way out, Alice."

"Fine," she huffs. "Just remember, Charlie's expecting Bella to be recovering from injuries and illness. He won't be expecting to find her all bed tousled and glowing."

The door closes with a soft snick of the latch. "I believe we were in the middle of something before we were so rudely interrupted?"

A second later I'm back on the bed, my pyjama top has vanished and Edward is hovering over me grinning at my surprised gasp. His shirt has vanished as well. "Now," he whispers with a voice scorched with heat and velvet. "Where were we?" His head lowers and his cold tongue traces my left nipple sending the most incredible shivers of pleasure all over my entire body. "I think we were here, and you were about to make that little noise again that I love."

"Mmm."

"Yes, that's the one."

"Edward, what about...?" He completely distracts me when his hand curls around my right breast and his lips brush back and forth over the tip. "Charlie?" It seems very wrong to be saying my Father's name during such a moment and I squirm away from his touch. He isn't about to be deterred however, and he begins lacing kisses over my abdomen in a steady downward pattern.

"We have thirty five minutes, Bella."

"I still have to pack and...uh..." I'm losing the ability to be coherent as his tongue dips into my bellybutton, and I feel his ice cold fingers slip beneath the waistband of my pyjama pants. One swift tug and they vanish just as easily as my top.

"I said we have thirty five minutes, I didn't say I need thirty five minutes." His mouth moves over my hips and down to my thighs, and oh God, so close to where I need him to be. My breathing is quickly turning into embarrassing pants. I try one last time to be the rational one, which is such a strange thing for me to be. Edward is the rational one. I find it difficult to be rational during the best of times, never mind when my amazingly talented fiancé is turning me into a melting pile of incoherency and need.

"Emmett could come back?" I'm asking instead of stating, and Edward laughs lightly. The vibration is incredibly erotic on the soft skin of my inner thigh.

"Not if he values his limbs." Sighing he moves back until once again he's hovering over me. "Bella, I'm trying to make love to you. It's a bit unflattering that at this very moment your thoughts are on your Father and my brother." His eyes are dark pools of bottomless night and his sweet cool breath spills over my face and into my lungs. "Do you think you could, for the sake of my fragile ego, endeavour to focus. Or would you prefer that I stop?"

I manage a shaky breathless no, even though I know he's very aware that I don't really want him to stop. I also know there is nothing even remotely fragile about his ego, especially lately. He's very proud of his ability to render me senseless and his confidence in himself and his control, while hardly perfect, seems to be getting stronger every day.

"Good," he whispers against my mouth. "Now, where was I?"

EPOV

"Esme, you do realize that Charlie and Bella have a very small yard?" I smile indulgently at her as I squeeze the final tray of flowers into my overly packed car. She smiles and pats my arm as she passes.

"Yes, Edward, I know, but I want Bella and Charlie to have a selection. Whatever they don't want, you can bring back."

"Well, I won't ask Charlie," I reply with a small laugh. "He's only doing this under duress. I don't believe he has a green thumb, Esme. You do realize that most of these plants probably won't survive beyond this season?"

"Honestly, Edward. Give me more credit than that. I've chosen only the most hardy and least care worthy of my garden." She picks up yet another tray to take to her car. "Besides, you do know this is for Bella. She wants to see Charlie as settled as possible before the wedding. You can hardly think I'd care if a few plants suffered their demise if it helps ease her in some way." She kisses my cheek, gesturing to the remaining flats. "I'll bring these myself as soon as I'm ready."

I shake my head as I get in the car and head for Bella's house. Esme has the Mother element down pat in every way. I feel instantly contrite for my comments, and though I've done everything I can already to try to ease Bella's transition away from her Father, I'm instantly resolved to do more. She's been industriously busy as of late in an attempt to make Charlie as comfortable and taken care of as possible. Nothing has escaped her path of whirlwind productivity. The kitchen has been repainted from floor to ceiling, a task that took us an entire afternoon. It would have gone much faster had she allowed me to do it on my own, but she'd strictly forbid me from using my 'super powers.' She's also cleaned out the garage and the basement much to Charlie's dismay, though he's been refraining from saying so out of fear. Whether this is out of hurting her feelings or out of fear of her wrath isn't exactly clear. Charlie's mind can be as much of an enigma at times as Bella's can. Still the fact that he is allowing her to turn his house upside down speaks volumes. Charlie Swan isn't big on change.

Bella has even overhauled his bedroom, including forcing him to invest in a new mattress. I'd helped carry the old one out to the curb and the dual imprint of bodies told me that this was the same mattress he'd shared with Renee. He was still grumbling under his breath about that one.

When I pull up to the house I can see Charlie, shovel in hand, digging up two rather dead looking shrubs. His mind shows me that once again he really doesn't get the point, but he's following Bella's instructions to the letter, at least gamely, if not exactly enthusiastically. I can't help but smile as I pause for a moment to watch her. Her posture isn't one that he'd be wise to argue with. Hands on her hips and a tiny frown furrowing her brow, a small smudge of dirt on her obstinate little chin. She's on a mission and she's never been more adorable.

She joins me as I begin unpacking the car, laughing at the largess of Esme's donations to her garden project. "Don't laugh, love. This is only about a quarter of it. Esme's bringing more in a little while."

"Edward, where will I put it all?" She sounds slightly dismayed and I scoop her into my arms with a smile. I've been hunting with Jasper and Emmett for the last two days and I've missed her immensely. Lifting her off her feet, I bury my face into her neck and immure myself in the hedonistic pleasure of the burn her scent imbues. She melts warmly into my cold embrace and I groan softly. She's been home with Charlie for a week and though I've spent every night other than the last two with her, we've both been a bit hesitant to carry on the intimacy we discovered in my home to hers. The hesitancy isn't going to last. I need her too much, and if the tiny tremor I feel shivering up her spine is any indication, she's feeling the absence as much as I am.

I place her back on her feet, mindful of Charlie's presence. He's accepted our engagement and impending marriage, but no Father wants to witness displays of affection enacted upon his daughter. I curb my disappointment with thoughts of later tonight, but Bella isn't so easily placated. She tips her head up wanting to be kissed and who am I to deny her anything she wants? Charlie's loud throat clearing breaks us up several minutes later and I have to grit my teeth to avoid laughing out loud at his thoughts of dousing us with the garden hose.

Together we carry the trays to the newly turned earth near the front of the house. Bella has already outlined the shape she wants for the garden with chalk and she surveys it critically for a moment before reaching for one of the shovels. I instantly remove it from her hands with a slightly raised brow in remonstrance. Her hands are almost completely healed but the new skin - especially at the base of her fingers and on her palms - is still extremely tender and thin. A small row of unhealed blisters still resides at the bottom of each palm, leaving her susceptible to infection. She's wearing bandages and special gloves that Carlisle has given her beneath her garden gloves, but holding a shovel will abrade her skin no matter what protection she has on.

Charlie chuckles behind me and reaches around to pull another shovel out from behind one of the bushes.

"Dad. You said that was the only shovel."

"Did I? Guess I forgot about this one, Bells, sorry." He winks at me and resumes his shovelling with a low tuneless whistle.

Laughing, I tap her nose lightly and place a soft kiss on her pouting lips. "You can be the supervisor. Just tell us where you want everything." She sticks her tongue out at me saucily and stomps off to begin selecting plants, her tight, lithe bottom looking incredibly provocative in her ragged denim cut offs. A pale blue oversized t-shirt - that no doubt used to be Charlie's - is knotted at her waist exposing a delectable line of creamy skin. Her hair is pulled up in a loose messy ponytail with several sweat damp strands stuck to the base of her neck. Her battered tennis shoes look as though they've followed her through several years of hard travel and one shoelace is undone. Something I'll need to rectify soon before she trips over it. If I can take my eyes off her long enough to do so, that is. Alice would no doubt find this outfit hideous, but to me she's sex personified and I want her. Now.

I have to turn away and focus vigorously on the shovelling, shoelace be damned. If I get anywhere near her right now I don't think I'll be able to resist finding an excuse to get her in the house. The menial labour is too easy for me and not anywhere near distracting enough. I can easily picture finding a flimsy pretence to encourage Bella to follow me into the house. Closing the door behind her, pressing her against the nearest wall, dropping to my knees and licking that delectable line of ivory skin peeking out above the waistband of her shorts. Tearing the button and zipper with my teeth, inhaling that heady mixture of musk and sweetness that marks her arousal. Rising from the floor and wrapping her legs around my waist and burying myself deeply and completely inside of her body...

"Never fear, the garden crew is here!" Emmett slaps me on the back hard enough to make a loud cracking sound that has Charlie glancing up in surprise. I narrow my eyes at Emmett, equally annoyed and grateful for his distraction. My fantasies as of late have taken on a new edge. With only weeks until the wedding, I'm allowing my mind to delve further and further into the uncharted territory that Bella and I have marked sacrosanct until the wedding night. In my mind we are always successful, but fantasies are not reality.

"Man, you guys are slow. Look out Eddie and watch a real man shovel. Come on Chief Swan; let's show Mr. Scrawny how it's really done."

Charlie begins to laugh and then just as quickly covers it with a cough as Emmett begins to shovel, purposely making a show of it. I roll my eyes at him and leave to go help Esme unload the rest of the flowers and plants.

"Aww, come on, Edward," Emmett calls after me. "Don't go away mad. Just go away." He bursts out laughing and I add to my "get Emmett back" list. Charlie follows me with another small laugh and reaches out to pat my shoulder.

"Never had a brother myself, Edward. Kind of thinking that might be a good thing." He curls his fingers, his thoughts rather startled at the hardness that had met his touch. _Kid can obviously take care of himself if the rock hard muscles are any indication_. He curls his hand again and luckily his thoughts are diverted by Jasper who's suddenly in front of him. He rocks back on his heels taken aback by Jasper's sudden close proximity. Only seconds ago he'd been across the yard with Alice and Bella. I narrow my eyes at him in warning.

_Sorry, Edward._ "Chief Swan. These are Azaleas, part of the genus Rhododendron family. Esme selected them as they are the flower for the Sagittarius astrology symbol, which I believe is the symbol for the month of your birth. Where would you like them, sir?"

I resist the urge to throttle Jasper. At times his oddness sticks out like a sore thumb. Charlie's eyes bug slightly, but he gamely clears his throat. "Uh, well, son. I guess you..." His eyes latch on to Bella with something like relief. "Should ask Bella. She's in charge today."

"Yes sir, of course." Turning to leave he turns back just as abruptly, once again startling Charlie. "These are for you. I believe this is your preferred beverage." He thrusts a six pack of beer at Charlie and gives him a large smile. The effect is not what he hopes. Charlie's heart throbs hard and then races forward in sudden tension. Jasper quickly clamps his lips over his teeth and makes his getaway while Charlie stares at the beer in his hand as though it was just handed to him by a mean rattlesnake. Or a vampire whose never quite gotten the hang of human interactions. His heart resumes a normal rhythm and I allow myself to relax. Having Charlie suffer a fear induced stroke only weeks before my wedding wouldn't be a good thing. I can see Bella, standing beside Alice, watching her Father with a slightly concerned expression. Alice is laughing, apparently seeing nothing alarming in the near future beyond Jasper's discomfort, so I smile reassuringly at her.

Carlisle arrives moments later with yet another addition to the growing Swan garden. Already the yard is transforming from plain to stunning. Charlie looks more than a little overwhelmed. The look only grows when Carlisle removes a small tree from the back seat of his car and carries it to Bella.

"Bella. I thought this might make a nice addition to your project. It's an Alaskan Cedar. Very hardy, and don't worry Charlie, they don't require much in care. A little extra watering in the beginning, but once it takes root they will pretty much take care of themselves." He smiles at Bella gently. "They have a very long lifespan. I dare say if you were to come back here in a hundred years, it would still be here. Tall and strong and enduring."

I slip my arm around Bella's waist and kiss the top of her head. I don't need to see her face to know her eyes have filled with tears at Carlisle's gesture.

"Thank you, Carlisle," she whispers while Charlie scratches his chin and eyes the tree with something close to confusion. He doesn't understand the hundred year reference, nor does he understand what is making Bella so emotional. Luckily though, he's more dismayed by having another tree in his yard. He sighs with resolve and takes the pot from Carlisle.

"Come on, Bells. I think there might be a few feet of space left over there."

Nodding, Bella begins to follow Charlie then turns back just as quickly. She hugs Carlisle hard and kisses his cheek without a word. Something in his expression has her inhaling with a small shaky breath. Her spine tightens and she gives him a watery but blinding smile before racing away to join Charlie. I cannot read her mind but there is a new lightness to her step that wasn't there only moments ago.

"Dad, I think we should put it in the west corner of the backyard. In a few years it will be big enough to throw a little shade on the back deck."

_A few years, more like 20. Wonder why Carlisle would give her a tree that lives for a century. Not like anyone's gonna be around to see it. Shit, better be careful where I dig in that west corner. Don't think Bella'd be too thrilled to find out Skippy the hamster didn't actually run away._

"How about here, Bella. I don't want it too close to the house."

I'm paying such close attention to Charlie and Bella, I forget to pay attention to Emmett. I don't have enough warning to completely avoid the blast of frigid water from the hose which hits me in the side of the chest.

"Looking a little hot and bothered there, Edward. Thought you could use a little cool down." He's speaking much too loud, especially considering how I'd be able to hear him clearly if he was whispering. His next sentence proves my theory that he's up to something more than just getting me wet. "You only got five more weeks until the wedding hormone head. Stop drooling over your fiancé's cute butt and start shovelling."

With Charlie distracted I take the opportunity to tackle Emmett and drive him into the ground so hard his body leaves a perfect imprint a few inches down into the soft grass and earth. Grinning I give him a hand back up and he snorts. "You don't play fair," he sulks.

Charlie's returned with the empty pot from the tree and he checks out the damaged grass with a frown. He heard Emmett, but he's choosing once again to not go there in his mind. "Better not let Bella see that," he dead-pans. "She'll want to make a flower bed out of it."

"Hey, cool. Bella! Come here, look what Edward and I made you!"

Bella inspects the indent with a sigh. It really is a perfect imprint of Emmett's shape and after a second she smiles brightly. "Jasper? Can you bring me those trays with the pink petunias? I think I just found the perfect place for them." She winks at me and Emmett snorts in indignation as Jasper brings the trays she's asked for.

"Petunias? Pink petunias? Oh, no! No way!"

"Hmm, I think you're right, Bella." Jasper's tone is dry and quiet. "Petunias are definitely the way to go. There are still a few trays of Daisies and Buttercups left as well."

Bella clears her throat biting her lip against the urge to laugh at Emmett's expression. "Oh. The buttercups, definitely." She follows Jasper to where the remaining trays of plants are, Emmett hot on their heels.

"Buttercups? Okay, that's not even funny. No one is putting Petunias or Buttercups in the Emmett shaped garden. Unh unh, over my dead...er...body! Esme? I need some manly plants over here. Do you have any Venus Fly Traps?"

As the laughter begins I smile and make my way into the house in search of a bottle of water for Bella. Rose is just getting out of her car when I come back out, a tray of Freesia in her arms. She scowls slightly as she notices my surprised stare. These didn't come from Esme's garden which means she purchased them herself, a gesture very un-Rose like.

"What," she snaps, ever defensive. "She likes them, and everyone is always carrying on about how she smells like these stupid flowers so... Don't make a big deal of it, Edward."

I smile and nod, and her scowl deepens as she stalks away. She spins around briefly and flashes her perfect sharp nails at me. "And I am so not digging in the damn dirt either, don't even think about asking." I resist the urge to laugh and follow her as she presents her gift to Bella. Well not so much presents as shoves it into Bella's arms with a slight glare. Bella stares at the flowers with a shocked expression.

"Wow. Rosalie, thank you. They're so beautiful." Her eyes grow moist for a second and she has to blink rapidly as her cheeks flush with colour. She and Rose have not yet found common ground but more and more I can see my temperamental sister trying to open up and accept Bella as one of us.

"Oh, Jeez. Bella seriously. Do you always have to be so...human?"

Tipping her head slightly Bella smirks. "No, just for a little while longer."

Rose smirks back with a grudgingly respectful shake of her head before she's suddenly monopolized by Emmett.

"Babe! There you are. Come here and help me find some manly flowers."

As she walks away I slide my arms around Bella's waist and scoop her off her feet. She makes a small startled sound and I laugh as I carry her to the steps settling her onto my lap.

"Edward. What are you doing?"

"You, love, have had enough for one day." She won't admit it but she's still not a hundred percent back to her full strength. The labour is beginning to show in the paleness of her skin and her increasing tendency to touch everything with her fingertips only. I reach for her hands and remove the gloves carefully. She can't hide the small wince or the hiss of air between her tightly clenched teeth as I do so.

"But we're not done."

I laugh lightly. "It looks as though things are well in hand, Bella." Despite my family's strict adherence to human dictates of movement and accomplishment, the yard is already nearly complete. The transformation is really quite stunning and I feel Bella settle against me with a tired happy sigh. The satisfaction radiates off her skin as she surveys the results of her planning. Her gaze settles on Charlie and she sighs quietly again. He is standing by Carlisle and Esme, laughing as they listen to Emmett, Rose, Alice, and Jasper bicker over so called manly flowers. His posture is relaxed and his thoughts are at ease. He won't say it, but he likes the way the yard looks and I whisper his thoughts in her ear and she relaxes even more. I hold her for awhile, letting the coolness of my skin ease the heat of hers.

"The weather is supposed to stay dry. Would you like to go to our meadow tonight?" The softness of her skin is incredibly alluring as I kiss the small tender spot beneath her ear. Her pulse picks up immediately.

"At night?" There is a slight uncertainty to her tone that I can't help but smile at.

"Not afraid of the dark are you, love?"

She turns in my arms and I use the opportunity to pull her closer, audience be damned. Her breath catches slightly.

"I'm not afraid of anything when I'm with you."

As always her complete trust and love overwhelms and humbles me. I'm filled with an aching tenderness that has no outlet save her. Pressing my lips gently against hers I cradle her in my arms and attempt to convey what words can't. After only a second I break away with a sigh of regret.

"Emmett is contemplating spraying us with the hose and if we don't stop now, your Father is going to beat him to it." She blushes sweetly and buries her face in my neck with a small embarrassed laugh.

"So, will you accompany me to the meadow tonight?" She nods and I place my fingers beneath her chin, tipping her face up for one last, sweet, brief kiss before placing her on the step beside me. Rising, I hand her the water bottle and move off to finish the last remaining chores, eager to complete the task at hand. I have plans to make for our coming evening.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N This chapter takes place in the meadow, as promised. It has been written in collaboration with another fanfiction writer Octoberland to mirror chapter 11 of her story, Blood Roses. We used the same setting and same premise which results in two times the lemony goodness. Here in chapter 18 Meadow Fire, you'll find the night time, or dark, version. And in hers you'll find the day time, or light, version. You can find the link to her story/chapter on my profile page so be sure to check it out.

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Chapter 18 **Meadow Fire**

BPOV

"Bella, stop squirming. I'm almost done."

Gritting my teeth and cursing Alice and her scorching hot instruments of torture in my mind; I force my fidgety hands to stay still.

"There." She sounds incredibly self-satisfied, so to torture her back, I jump out of the chair without looking in the mirror. I don't get more than a foot away before her she whines my name.

"Bella..."

Rolling my eyes I turn back to the mirror. I have to grudgingly admit I'm impressed. The dress she'd forced me into is pretty, but simple. White, which strikes me as bizarre given that I'm headed for the meadow. The _damp grassy_ meadow, but never argue with Alice, you can't win. She's pinned the sides and top of my hair up, and curled the back into a riot of silky looking soft curls. The overall effect is somehow natural rather than contrived. Given that it had taken her over an hour to pull it off it's definitely contrived. Again I think _damp meadow_ and wonder what the point of all this is. I should be dressed in jeans and flannels. I start to reiterate this point yet again, but Alice cuts me off.

"Never mind that, come on. You need to go, Prince Charming is waiting."

"Alice, I hate surprises. Will you please tell me what's going on?" She mimes locking her lips and throwing away the key, and I grunt in frustration. My cell phone rings just then, temporarily saving her from my wrath.

Edward. Despite my annoyance, excitement and warmth pool over my body. We haven't spent much alone time together since I'd come back to Charlie's, and I miss him desperately. Desperately enough to overlook the fact that he knows how much I hate surprises. Still, I can't resist giving him some grief.

"Edward."

"Love."

"Are you going to tell me why you aren't here? Or why Alice _is_ here, complete with her make Bella into a Barbie doll torture kit?"

He sighs. "She's only supposed to bring you to the meadow, Bella, the rest I'm afraid is just Alice being Alice. Would you like me to speak with her?" A second glance in the mirror shows me again just how much magic she's worked, so I sigh back.

"No, it's fine. But why is Alice bringing me to the meadow? I thought..." Well I'm not really sure what I'd thought. When Edward had asked me to come to the meadow with him tonight, I'd been a little put off. I mean the meadow was our special place, yes. But the meadow at night? Dark and wet, and frankly a little creepy. Then I'd gotten the idea that he'd wanted a place for us to be alone, and obviously at that moment I'd forgotten all about dark and creepy. Then Alice had shown up and I was back to being confused about the whole idea. "We are going to the meadow, right?" Between the dress up session and now this, I was beginning to wonder if the meadow wasn't just a rouse. My anxiety ratchets up a new notch.

Edward laughs. "Of course, love. I just had a few last minute things I needed to take care of so Alice offered to bring you here for me. I hope you don't mind."

"You're up to something, Edward Cullen." He laughs again then clucks his tongue at me.

"Such a suspicious mind, Bella Swan." His voice changes from mocking amusement to low velvet heat so fast my head spins. "Don't keep me waiting, love. Come to me now." The line goes dead and I bite my lip.

Oh my.

EPOV.

Standing back a little to survey my efforts, I light the last of the candles. I've tried to create a romantic mood without going over the top, and I think I've succeeded. Most of the meadow stays shrouded in shadows, but a few carefully placed lit torches chase back some of the dark. It is the bed I've created that is the centerpiece however. Woven from vines and branches carefully selected from this very meadow, the frame as much blends into its background as stands out. Gauze net style curtains hang on either side, shifting subtly in the breeze and further muting the strands of lights weaving through the bed's branches. Tiny butterflies and blossoms glow palely on each strand, the same exact color as the moonlight that is beginning to filter down from the sky. The entire bed in fact glows. The white blankets and silk pillows shimmering and refracting the various rays of light until everything appears soft and ethereal. A floating oasis in sea of darkness. Almost as perfect and translucent as the skin on the woman who will soon lie upon it. Two long white silk scarves are the final touch and I lay those carefully beside the bed, folded neatly and unnoticeable until I need them.

I can hear Alice now. Moving quickly towards the meadow, Bella's heartbeat louder than any noise my sister's movements through the forest could make. She's nervous, probably in part from Alice carrying her, but mostly no doubt due to her fears of what I have planned. The blindfold I'd instructed Alice to place over her eyes probably isn't helping any either.

Smiling in anticipation I straighten my clothing. Purposely all black from the button down collared shirt to the pants, I match the darkness perfectly and intentionally. Nothing left now to do but wait for the final thing that will make this night perfect.

Her.

My light in the dark.

BPOV

Being blindfolded and carried on the back of a sprite like vampire through dense forests isn't my idea of romance. I bite back the urge to tell her to be careful again, and sigh with immense relief when she suddenly stops. I manage, just barely, to slide down to my feet without falling and reach for the blindfold only to have Alice grab my hands.

"Oh no you don't. You have to leave that on."

"Alice..."

"Edward's orders," she laughs. I feel a soft, cold kiss brush my cheek and then her sweet breath as she whispers in my ear. "Enjoy your night." One last laugh and then I know she's gone. My heart races into overdrive immediately. I swallow back the panic at being left alone and blind and try to listen carefully. The light that _was_ seeping around the edges of the scarf that's tied around my eyes is gone completely now, letting me know it's fully dark. I can hear the breeze rustling the leaves of the trees and other eerie unfamiliar sounds I'd rather not focus on, but nothing else.

"Edward?" Calling his name quietly, knowing that he could hear me if he was anywhere remotely close, I give in to the fear and reach for the blindfold. Cold hands suddenly capture mine, and though a part of me knows it's him I shriek a little anyway.

His laugh is darkly amused. "Are you scared, love?" He asks softly.

"You startled me," I reply, shaking a little.

"Mmm, yes I can see that. Your heart is racing a mile a minute." Cold lips ghost over mine followed by a slow inhale that makes me blush. "Delectable," he murmurs. "You look beautiful, almost as good as you smell."

"Don't let Alice hear you say that," I mutter sulkily. I still haven't forgiven him for all that yet. Turning our palms together he chuckles again, beginning to lead me forward.

"Edward, I can't see anything," I hiss in warning. My feet shuffle forward at his insistence trying to search the ground for obstacles.

"I have you, Bella. Trust me."

I do of course, completely, so instead of fighting I walk normally until he stops. I feel hands on the back of my head and suddenly the blindfold is gone. I'm left blinking in astonishment at what's in front of me. It takes my human mind a long time to process it all. The torches at the meadow's edges. The incredible fairytale bed with all the soft glowing white lights. The candles in shimmering glass hurricane style lamps glowing in the grass. The white curtains, frothy and incredibly delicate looking, fluttering gently in the warm night breeze. My heart stops for a second then picks up pace. Moving on disconnected feet I approach the bed and run my hands over the intricate weave of the branches. Smooth and rough all at the same time. I can smell the fresh burst of them telling me how new this is. All while looking as though it's always been here. I know Edward made this. I can almost see the imprint of his strong beautiful hands in the branches themselves. Lovingly bent and curved the exact same way as those same hands lovingly bend and curve my body when we're making love. My throat gets tight and it's suddenly hard to breathe. I spin around to see him standing there. Dressed all in black he blends in with the shadows, beautiful and unreal.

"Do you like it?" He asks quietly.

I can feel tears prickling behind my eyelids. "Like it? It's..." Words fail me, but something in my expression answers the question anyway. He comes closer to me, one hand trailing gently down my cheekbone.

"I've missed you," he whispers and I know exactly what he means. Our newfound intimacy is so... _new_, a little raw around the edges still. With my burns nearly healed and my going back to Charlie's after our time spent in the bubble of that newness, the week apart has been nearly painful. I try to move into his arms, tell him I've missed him too, but his eyes suddenly go dark and he vanishes.

Gasping, disoriented I spin around looking for him. He's by the bed, arms upraised and grasping the branches. I think I hear one snap. His eyes are closed, but the second I take a step towards him he shakes his head in warning making me stop. After only a brief minute he exhales loudly and then he's back in front of me, his hand once again cupped around my cheek, icy and smooth. His eyes remain dark, carrying a note of warning so I stay completely still.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs in apology. "It would seem that our time together when you were unwell inured me. But our time apart has done the opposite." He smiles gently, his thumb caressing back and forth over my face. "It appears we will have to start over in some ways, love."

Blushing, I turn my face slightly in towards his palm. The sweet smell of his skin makes me feel drunk and weak kneed. Somehow I force a hesitant smile to my lips. "We don't have to...you know."

His answering smile isn't hesitant. The half smirk coils my core in warm knots, and when he gently places his other hand on my waist and draws me near, his eyes spark. "Oh, but we do, love." His lips find mine and take away my ability to remember why I'd said we didn't have to. "I need to know if you look as beautiful as I remember, feel as good as I remember, _taste_ as good as I remember."

His words turn that warm knot into a hot mess, and my hands move of their own accord to tangle in his hair.

EPOV

Dangerous, she's beyond dangerous. Even trying to warn her that I'm far from stable isn't enough. Her hands grab my hair and her hot sweet mouth greedily tries to deepen the kiss while her body turns molten. Once again I have to move away, only this time I merely move behind her, sliding one arm around her waist and reaching up to the luscious waves and curls of her hair and unpinning the weight of it. Cool silk, smelling of strawberry shampoo and pure Bella, cascades around her shoulders making me groan.

"You're mine tonight, Bella." I hiss in her ear, locking her body against me so she can't turn. "Say it, say the words."

"I'm yours," she whimpers breathlessly. I draw her back faster than her human senses can measure until we're beside the bed. In one quick jerk I tear her dress, a move I will probably regret when sanity returns. Right now I'm too full of need and unfamiliar heat to care. I need her skin, bare and perfect and satin and hot, pressed all over me. I need her sweet cries to fill this meadow and chase away the demon blood lust inside of me. Only her body has that power.

Bella gasps when the fabric tears, her heart rate accelerating rapidly, though she doesn't protest. The warm air fragrant with flowers and forest becomes doubly sweet with the rising smell of her female heat tinged with arousal.

"Do you trust me?" I ask, trailing the tip of my tongue over her neck, licking the throbbing beat of her life blood pulsing beneath the tissue paper barrier of skin.

She shivers, whimpers, tries to turn but I won't let her. "Yes. Always, Edward," she groans. "Always."

Again I don't bother with human movements. The silk scarves are bound around her wrists before she can blink. Another blink and I have her on the bed, the loose ends tied to the branches behind her. I stay poised over her, looking down and waiting for her slower thoughts to catch up to what I've done.

Jerking on the binds she frowns up at me. "What..? What are you doing?"

"I should think it would be rather obvious, love." I smirk in response then let my hands trail down her body, from the slope of her shoulders to the dip and curve of her waist. Straight down to her hips and thighs, parting her legs so they rest on either side of my body.

Biting her lip she watches me with open trepidation, still occasionally tugging the scarves as though to see if they will really hold. I take my time removing my shirt, careful of each button despite the raging hunger inside of me. I may need it to dress her in later. The care has an equally thrilling effect of making Bella go perfectly still, her limpid eyes locked onto each inch of skin I reveal. When I toss it to the floor she moans.

"Do you like what you see, Bella?" I tease her. The soft blush of response makes me growl, shatters the last of the self control locks. I need to touch her. Now.

My hands find her knees; draw them up so each one of my fingers can ghost along the insides of her thighs. Her skin is porcelain, kissed by both the moon and the artificial light spilling over her. Her panties are white satin, her bra a perfect coordinated match. I could care less. I want what's beneath the covering. No fabric or design has yet been created that can match her perfect beauty. Annoyed by the barriers, thoughtless about later, I use my fingernails like razors to cut the fabric away from her skin.

The sound that comes out of my mouth at the sight of her naked and bound beneath me can only be described as guttural. I'm so hard it's nearly painful, and her scent? God her scent. So much more potent without the barriers. Venom floods my mouth, scalds my throat. For a second my hands tremble, torn between so many raw desires and needs.

"Edward." Bella's voice is soft, tinged with her own need, drawing me back down to reality. Her blood is nothing in comparison to that sound. The sound of her voice, her heartbeat is as always my anchors. Swallowing the bitter flavour of monstrosity I moan her name in reply.

"Bella. I was wrong," I say, shaking my head and grinning mischievously at her. "You're not as beautiful as I remember." Startled she breathes out hard, cheeks turning pink while her lip flattens beneath her perfect teeth. Before she can grow too uncomfortable, I lean down and lick the puffed out edge of that lip where it escapes her bite. "A photographic memory and more than a century of comparison, and still you shock me. You're a thousand times more beautiful than I remember, love." Groaning, licking her lip again until she releases it to pant, I scrape my chest over hers, feeling the tips of her nipples press against me. "Bella, you make me ache."

Rearing back before I lose it completely, I settle my hands back on her thighs and watch her eyes grow heavy lidded with desire. She tugs on the binds again, whimpering in frustration.

"Edward, I need..."

"What, love? What do you need?" I coax.

"You," she whines in frustration. "I need you to touch me. I need to touch you."

Teasingly I let my fingers trail up her thighs, over her hips and abdomen, around her pretty little breasts. My own impatience is rapidly getting the best of me, and her silky skin sends electric darts of heat up through my body to settle in my erection. Already hard enough to nearly tear the stressed fabric of my pants, it's quickly making me insane.

Ignoring her second demand, I focus on the first. "How do you want me to touch you, Bella?" She twists slightly, trying to get my fingers to caress her breast more fully.

"I don't care," she moans. "Just...please."

"Not good enough, love." I growl. I want her on fire and letting go of all her inhibitions. Here, right here, in our meadow. I want her to give me all she can, all she has within the safe boundaries of our promises. "Do you want my fingers?" I ask softly. "Like this?" I give her what she's been striving for, playing with the tightly beaded peaks, using my thumbs, sweeping them back and forth across the tips until she begins to tremble. Slowly moving them away and down her stomach, I stop at her belly button and circle the tiny indentation over and over. "Or would you prefer my mouth, love?" Without waiting for a reply I lower my mouth to the crown of each breast. Her tiny nipples swell even more against my cold tongue and she makes a new noise in the back of her throat that reminds me of a kitten's mewl. Carefully I pull my lips down over my teeth, locking her upper body down to the mattress with one hand so she cannot push up against me. At my first tentative suckle I hear the branches strain beneath the pull she exerts on her binds.

"Edward, ungh, God. Don't stop," she pleads, coming closer and closer to the abandoned state of mind I want her in. "That feels so...good, oh."

Bella gasps louder as I continue to suckle her rhythmically, groaning both to increase her pleasure with the vibration and also simply because I cannot help myself. Having her tender little nipple in my mouth is so erotic, such a simple thing, yet so overwhelming. Her taste, the flavour of her skin saturating my taste buds, her eager panting breaths letting me know I'm pleasing her. _More_, I think to myself, I want her screaming. In full approval my erection throbs and strains, growing damp at the head as small pulses of pre-cum saturate the fabric it rubs against, my body endeavouring to make itself more ready for hers.

Moving my hand without warning I cup her sex, eager to feel her need the same way I can feel my own. She's hot and lushly aroused, growing damper and damper against my palm with each rapid beat of her excited pulse. She shivers all over as I begin to play with her, still teasing, never quite giving her what her twisting limbs try to achieve.

"Answer me, Bella. Do you want me to make you come?" Despite the fact that I haven't yet given her body exactly what it needs for release she's barrelling towards it anyway. She's stopped fighting the binds and now her hands are curled around them, using them as leverage for movement.

"Edward, yes. Please, I need..."

"Tell me. Tell me how you want to come, Bella." I lower my body over hers. Brown eyes suck me into their depths and I wonder if she knows the lengths I would go to please her. There is nothing she could ask of me that I would deny her. I need her to know this, to lose insecurity and shame and to give over everything to me. The power of that near surrender excites me incredibly, like the predator I am, will always be. She's mine. I want every fantasy, every taboo desire or thought. All of it, all of her, mine.

"On my hand?" I urge, turning the one in question in new ways so that she shudders in pleasure, nearly screaming. "My mouth? Tell me, love." Her back arches when I stop and move my hand to her thigh. She tries to twist back towards me but I pin her down. Her groan this time is pure frustration and yet her eyes blaze at me, hot and clear. She turns her head and shocks me by biting at my lower lip, scraping it hard with her teeth.

"Both," she half moans half hisses, shocking me even more, thrilling me with how incredibly she answers every demand I make. "I want both, your mouth on me, your fingers inside of me...uh...please."

Wanting to fully reward her trust I nearly lunge down her body, moving quickly to place her legs over my shoulders. Putting my mouth on her is insanely dangerous and that thought slows me slightly. Has me pressing my head to her abdomen for one brief second to gather the shreds of my self control back around me. The luscious scent of her blood riding the tide of her heartbeat beneath her skin is like a lullaby meant to calm the beast. It works and after only the briefest of hesitations my mouth is on her, drinking down the sweet alternate nectar of her desire. It slides down the back of my throat hot and silky and infinitely more appealing in that moment than any human blood save hers.

I use my tongue and my fingers, eagerly beginning the process of driving her to a hard urgent release, just as greedy as her for the pure hot pleasure of it. Careful as always to avoid the barrier of her innocence I press two fingers inside, stroking the tight hot walls of her sex. She pushes against them, striving for the deeper penetration her body no doubt craves. Denying her is difficult, but her virginity is not something I will claim in this way. Instead I curl my fingers, press them against the small swelling on her upper wall, rewarded with her sharp indrawn breath and rapid whimpers of pleasure. My tongue circles her swollen nub, teasingly at first then growing more demanding as her hips begin to undulate faster. My mind focuses on controlling my strength, carefully, oh so carefully, while still creating perfect snapshots of each response to treasure in our moments apart.

I ache to suckle her clitoris the same way I had her breasts, but she's coming undone. Quivering beneath each lash of my tongue and I can never forget how dangerous my teeth can be to such tender, impossibly delicate flesh. I settle instead for filling my mouth with her lush taste lick by perfect demanding lick. She's poised on the edge, straining towards her completion. I sense instinctively that she's waiting for my urging, my approval. Caressing my fingers harder against that swelling ridge inside of her, I lift my head to take in her beautiful form. Her back is arched, bound hands arching her further so that she is an incredible vision splayed out before me. Mine, all mine. Eyes closed, head thrown back she's the picture perfect incarnation of a woman being well loved by the dark creature that adores her.

"Look at me, Bella." Growling, demanding, my voice is a command not meant to be disobeyed. When she does as I ask I purposely dip my tongue against her, still holding her eyes with mine as I do so. Her soft moan and the deep shudder that wracks her as she watches makes my erection pound with need.

My mind wrestles with that need. Would it be so wrong to take her now, here in our meadow? Is this not the perfect place to make love to her fully for the first time? The moment of weakness is thankfully short lived. She will be my wife, mine in every ritualistic sense of the word before she becomes mine in the most primitive sense of it.

Seeking to drive Bella higher, and distract myself from needs I can't fulfill, I press my tongue deeper, up under the hood of her swollen clitoris, stroking her there softly. Her hips jerk in reaction a hiss escaping her throat, full of heat and pure need.

"Do you want to come, Bella?" I murmur against her tender folds, lapping gently at them now and avoiding her pleasure points.

"Yes, God yes. Please, Edward. Oh, umm, please."

"I want you to scream for me, Bella. Let go of everything and let me hear you, let me know I've pleased you, love." She's trembling all over, a fine sheen of damp perspiration making her glow and glisten under the pale white lights. I place one last soft lick against her flesh and then redouble my efforts, curl my fingers with more direction and my tongue with more speed. "Now," I growl when I feel her body draw in tightly around my hand and she answers perfectly, silky thighs clenching hard around my shoulders. Her cries fill the meadow perfectly, uninhibited and wild, a glorious tiny prey being consumed by her predator.

Allowing my ministrations to turn from demanding to soothing, I bring her down from her orgasm slowly and crawl back up her body. She yanks hard at the binds her eyes imploring.

"I still want to touch you, Edward," she pants breathlessly. "Take these off."

"Bella, I don't know..." She ignores the warning in my voice.

"Please, I need to touch you."

Growling softly, I cup her face, warning her with my eyes as well as my words. "If I tell you to stop, Bella, you must listen. Do you hear me?"

She nods, turning her face to press her mouth to mine. "I will," she murmurs sweetly. "I promise."

Sighing I remove the binds and take her in my arms, checking her wrists. The delicate flesh is slightly pink, but otherwise the silk has prevented any damage. She wiggles them out of my grasp and laughing at her impatience I roll us over so she lays on top of me. Placing her hands on my chest she pushes her body up and looks down at me in surprise at my obvious relaxed manner. Having loved her successfully yet again and battled my demons into submission, the urgency and overwhelming need have abated.

"Do I need to tie _you_ up?" She asks playfully, absorbing the mood and arching an eyebrow.

Raising my hands over my head I grip the branches gently, teasingly. She rolls her eyes in response and then lowers her head to nip at my chin. The fingers tighten and the branch snaps, warning me instantly not to be complacent.

"Bella..." I growl at her and she licks the place she'd bitten. "Biting a vampire isn't the wisest move, love."

"Don't you like it?" she questions, repeating the process including the lick, only this time at the base of my throat.

A groan is my only response and before I know it, she's made her way down my body and is undoing my pants.

BPOV

Whatever battles Edward had been fighting, whether they were about my blood or my body, he's apparently won them. When he places his hands on the branches in mock surrender though, I feel my own begin. Even though my battles are all about insecurities and not about life or death, they're just as difficult for me.

Once again I feel at a disadvantage. Here in this meadow with all this beauty surrounding us, in the perfect setting that Edward created just for us, I'm reminded yet again of how inferior and frustratingly human I am. Having just had Edward render me nearly insensate from pleasure, I'm suddenly and stubbornly determined to do the same to him.

The little bite on his chin is more something I want to do than any calculated move on my part, but the reaction I get quickly has me re-evaluating. I repeat the process all the way down his chest and over his abs until I reach the waistband of his pants. Only then do his hands come down over mine. His eyes glitter darkly in the pale lighting making me bite my lip nervously. I wonder if he's going to stop me. He doesn't. Instead her opens the button himself and sheds the pants. His feet were already bare, something I hadn't noticed before. When he's naked, he cups my face gently and pulls me down beside him, kissing me slowly, deeply, lovingly. For a long while we just kiss, his hands gliding over my body, mine over his. I instinctively understand that he's striving once again for control and allow him to set the pace. It's hardly a difficult thing to do. After a while, when time has long since stopped existing, he takes my hand and draws it down his body, curls my fingers around the width of him. I can't help but moan at the feel.

When he shudders and places his hands back above his head I focus all my attention on him. Showing him how gorgeous he is, how much I love him. He lets me for much longer than I'd expected. Closing his eyes and arcing his hips up to my hand repeatedly. Eventually one hand comes off the branch and moulds to the nape of my neck, tangling slightly in my hair and drawing my face to his for a searing kiss. When I try to take that kiss lower he hisses and stops me.

"Let me," I whisper rising to place a coaxing kiss on his lips again. "You do it for me," I remind him. "It's only fair."

"Bella...I..." I can hear the indecision, the pure want in his voice that tears him in two different directions. Carefully I take his hands and put them back in the artfully entwined branches and vines.

"Say stop and I will," I tell him, and then I don't give him anymore time to think.

At first it's awkward. I don't have a clue what I'm doing and I'm terrified he'll stop me, or worse yet, won't like it. But after a minute it becomes natural. The feel of him in my hands. Cold and impossibly solid, smooth like polished, exquisite marble. The taste of him against my lips, sweet, icy, delicious. Taking my time I seek out places that make him whimper with the tip of my tongue. When I grow brave and take him in my mouth as fully as I can, he gasps on a hard indrawn breath and the branches snap, though he doesn't ask me to stop. Going on instinct and a few illicit articles in magazines, I wrap my hand around what I can't take in my mouth. I move them together, finding a rhythm, swirling my tongue over him, groaning at how much I like this. Having the control, feeling him strain and groan and pant and say my name with a dark velvet edge. One of his hands finds my hair and sweeps it back over my shoulder and our eyes meet. His are so black, so deep and black, and his expression? I can't even find words for that look. Possessive and hungry and... I moan at how that look makes me feel, at how being able to make him look like that makes me feel.

His low snarl is my only warning before I suddenly find myself flat on my back beneath him. His eyes are closed, body rigid, nostrils flaring. Running my hands up over his chest I say his name softly, trying to bring him back to me.

"Edward, I'm sorry. Did I... do something wrong?"

His eyes snap open and he groans. "I could hardly call anything you just did wrong, love. A little too right would be a more apt descriptive." He's searching my face and his fingers trace my jaw and my lips. "Did I hurt you?" There is urgency to his question that has me quickly shaking my head at him.

"Thank God," he murmurs dropping his head to rest on mine.

"You didn't let me finish," I tell him, unable to keep the sullen tone from my voice. I'd really wanted to give him what he'd given me. He chuckles, the vibration skipping his cold breath through my hair.

"Not like that," he says, lifting his head to look at me again. Carefully he moves until we're aligned perfectly. I'd forgotten how good it feels when he does this and it makes me gasp. So good. So close to how I want him, how I hope he wants me, yet just that tiny bit different so we can hold onto our vow. "I can't be certain I can control myself enough for that, love. I won't ever take that chance while you're human."

EPOV

I kiss the soft pout on her lips at my words, taking away her ability to argue. God she's so dangerous. I can taste myself, smell myself on her mouth and the danger just grows. She trembles as I move against her, arches slightly so that I can feel all of her. Our movements are slow, almost lazy. The pale light continues to caress her skin, and now mine, as the moon slips higher in the sky.

Wrapping her legs around my hips aligns us even tighter. She's beginning to tremble again as her hands find my hair, tugging me down to her delectable little mouth. Our kisses are hungry but no longer demanding, and her tiny whimper spills into my mouth urging me to move with more precision against her wet, velvet heat.

Sighing my name, trembling, she arches, trying to get closer. There is no such thing as close enough; still I groan her name in warning. She's quickly eroding all my will and I'm so close to falling over the edge it's nearly painful. Carefully I slide my arms beneath her, knowing I need to be cautious. My overpowering strength is so deadly I could crush her like a fragile, new bloom on a tender, spring green stalk. And yet I need to cradle her, need to feel every inch of her skin just as much as she aches to feel mine. The closeness angles our bodies precisely and concentrates the friction to a near excruciatingly pleasurable point. With every stroke and glide the head of my erection passes over her tiny clit until she's so swollen and wet and ripe that I'm destroyed by aching degrees.

"Bella, love, my love. God you feel so good...sweetheart...so good, so wet...so beautiful...I can't...I need..." Coherent thought is impossible, my words more like tortured growling grunts. Her scent is all over me, surrounding me, drowning me. Floral bursts pulsing in time with her racing heart. Musk, pure and feminine, salt and earth and dewy honeyed sweetness. I can feel every satiny inch of her bud like sex melting against me, over me, coating me in silk. My arms tremble with the urge to clutch her closer, but the panting rhythms of her breathing keep me grounded, barely.

"Edward." Her hands fist tighter in my hair, her tongue so sweet and warm on my icy lips, warm, moist breath driving me higher and higher. I can't hold on much longer. "Oh," she gasps sharply, small shudders coiling outward from her fragile spine flexing beneath my hand. My other hand slides under her bottom lifting her hips more firmly into me, letting my finger tips slide into the moist, full cleft of her buttocks, teasing the forbidden with the tip I coat in her honey. She lets out a shocked little mewl but her shuddering grows more pronounced and she begins to whimper in hot little bursts against my mouth as I stroke her there softly. I make no demands, time enough for those in the future, content for now to tempt her with possibilities.

"Edward, I'm oh...ghh. You're going to make...me...come, ahh"

Her cries undo me completely. Strips bare the coverings of humanity and turn me into a pure beast consumed by my own clutching, greedy need.

"Yes," I hiss, violently engulfed by that need, my body joining hers, commanded by hers. Finding some tiny lingering thread of reason I throw my head back away from the temptation of her sweet blood, the urge to bite nearly overwhelming me while I scramble to hold onto some level of my sanity. Each pulsing jet of my release tears at me, slamming me again and again with mind altering bliss. Through it all I feel her. My sanity and reason in the abyss. Trembling around me, under me, surrendering to the pleasure I grant her just the same as I surrender to the pleasure she grants me. Feeling her come is euphoric.

When it's over I can't bear to let her go. My hands hold her close, gently running over her body, checking for injuries and whispering silent phrases of thanks when yet again I find none. Rolling us to our sides but still keeping her close, it's on the tip of my tongue to tell her I'm sorry. My loss of control at the end shames me even though I know she's unharmed. Before I can form the proper words she places her fingers over my lips. Eyes warm with her emotions warn me that she knows me better than at times I know myself.

I wait for a reprimand, a small lecture on learning to trust myself but she only smiles and whispers, "I love you." It's easy to see in that moment that she means it in all ways, to all parts of me, with equal ferocity. The monster and the man.

Like usual she humbles me and I pull her closer. We stay that way for a long time watching the moon rise higher in the sky and the stars flicker like sun-dappled dust motes. We talk quietly about our future; her, content to be held, me, content to listen to the perfect rhythm of her heart beat. The sound soothing proof that I've once again denied my nature. That she is safe and whole and mine.

Eventually it's time to leave, Charlie is being indulgent but his patience isn't one to be tested. I content myself with the knowledge that soon enough I won't have to let go of her ever again. She follows me, her hand clasped tightly around mine. My shirt is wrapped over the tattered remnants of the dress I can't bring myself to regret ruining as we make our way out of the meadow. At the edge she pauses once to look back and I can see the concentration on her face as she tries to commit it all to memory. It's a look I've seen more and more lately and the feeling of unease it engenders in me is tempered with the knowledge that her change from mortal to immortal is inevitable now. Just as these human memories she treasures will fade to near non-existence, so too have my arguments for keeping her human.

Reaching out I lift her gently into my arms, cradling her close in preparation for our run through the forest to the car. "We'll come back again, love." I promise her, placing a kiss on her sweet lips to seal the vow.

She smiles in reply, and as I start to run she tucks her head into my neck and whispers, "Good."

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A/N Pictures of the bed that Octoberland and I used for inspiration and the canopy that I used can be found on my profile page for anyone who might like to view them.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N Hello all my lovely readers. Just a fun, fluffy, random kind of chapter for you here. Those of you who are following my FBR will understand why I _really,** really**_ needed to write such a chapter. lol. Just to note that this chapter is entitled Part one as it will be continued. And just to tease you I'll let you know Part two will be lemony and yummy as you've all grown to expect and hopefully love.

Special shout out to MythicalPolitician who gave me a cute idea that spawned this chapter. Although her idea doesn't actually show up until part two it's never too early to say thanks. :)

Huge thanks to my beta Octoberland who set me straight on why Edward should never call Alice a 'little minx', and the difference between impugn and impinge. I'll remember the 'minx' definition but most likely not the other.... sadly.... see, darn it, already forgot.

* * *

Chapter 19 Fiery Frustrations - Part One

**BPOV**

"Well that was odd," I remark, hanging up the phone and turning to look at Edward. He's sitting on the edge of my bed reading the back of a cd case.

"More odd than Mike Newton giving you gifts?" His tone is mildly sarcastic as he holds the gift in question up in illustration. I can't help but roll my eyes. Edward has been in a bit of a tiff ever since Mike had shown up on my doorstep an hour ago with the cd. He'd been stuck in my bedroom at the time due to the fact that Charlie had been home and he didn't know Edward was here. I'm not sure if he's more irritated that Mike gave it to me, or the fact that he'd been unable to be present at the time of said giving. Edward seems to enjoy intimidating Mike to an extent I find odd. Even odder than the gift or the phone call.

"I told you, Edward. He knows I like the band, he went to the concert, had a backstage pass, got the cd signed, thought I'd like it. Friends do stuff like that. You're reading way too much into it."

Opening the case he pulls out the insert and unfolds it. "I didn't even now you liked this band."

Ah, so maybe that's what this is about. I smile a bit at his jealousy. "Well, to be fair you and I don't talk a lot about music." To be even more fair he and I didn't do a lot of talking period. At least not lately. Not that I'm complaining. I can think of more exciting things to do with Edward than discuss music. In fact I'd seriously like to be doing some of those things right now, and we probably would be if it wasn't for the endless stream of interruptions. I reach out to take the cd from his hand hoping to rectify the situation.

"So how exactly did _Mike_," he sneers the name a bit, making me roll my eyes again. "Learn that you like this particular group?"

"I don't know. I guess it came up one day when we were working at the store. I think it came on the radio or something." In an effort to change the tone I try to at least get us off the subject of Mike. "Do you know this band?" It's his turn to roll his eyes as he relinquishes the cd.

"Yes, of course. I do have some knowledge of current music, Bella." Again with the sarcasm.

"And do you like them?"

"Not particularly. Mainstream pop rock drivel "

Sighing I put the cd on my dresser. "Some times you can be a bit of a music snob, Edward."

He actually looks surprised and I instantly feel bad. "I'm kidding." I'm not really, but little white lies and all that. Once again I thank whatever glitch inhabits my mind and keeps him from reading my thoughts. As it is, he narrows his eyes suspiciously. "Besides, it's not pop rock. It's alternative rock. And it's fun, and there are some really good songs on there." Moving back to him I place my hands on his shoulders and my legs on either side of his. Lowering myself slowly, ever mindful of his rules about my taking him off guard and giving him plenty of time to protest, I straddle his hips until our bodies are snug. "And I like it." I emphasize and place a soft kiss on his mouth.

His body is very rigid, but as always I can never tell the difference between stone vampire form and possible tension. Despite the fact that he and I have done every possible thing there is to do outside of full on sex, well, at least what my limited imagination would classify as everything, we are still always walking the tightrope of Edward's control. He has very strict rules about my initiating things between us. It isn't that I'm not allowed to initiate, though at times it feels that way. It's more about how I initiate. No sudden moves, and certainly no jumping on him without lots of prior warning. I'd hardly say I just jumped him, but then we don't always see eye to eye on all of that so right now I'm not sure if I've crossed one of his lines. A part of me is tense as well, waiting for him to either toss me onto the bed and vanish to the other side of the room or reprimand me, or . . .

"Bella." His voice is a hiss and definitely a reprimand. Option two apparently. I would have very much appreciated option three at this point which would have entailed him responding completely, maybe rolling me onto the bed. Coming down over top of me, his fingers finding a cool path up my side and under my shirt . . .

"You're going to be the death of me." His hands are tight on my hips keeping me immobile and my fantasy ends abruptly. Right, no option three. I can't help the disappointment I feel, or the little niggling twinge of insecurity I haven't yet totally shaken. He's proved over and over again that he wants me as much as I want him, and I know it's not really rational but there it is anyway. Combined with the fact that ever since our night in the meadow I'd been uncommonly needful and the insecurity ends up getting worse. So does the ache between my legs.

"Sorry," I mutter biting my lip and making to move off of him. He growls and his hands tighten rather than do the logical which would be to let me go. The growl makes the ache heavier and definitely . . . wetter. His nostrils flare and his eyes go dark, and oh God how I wish that just once we didn't have to think about this so much.

More growl than actual word my name sounds very much like a bit of a curse when it comes out of his mouth this time. "Bella."

"I'm sorry," I say again. An automatic knee jerk response for something I can't control. His eyes instantly flare making me want to repeat the words even though I know that they're the reason for the flare in the first place. He doesn't like me apologizing for what he sees as his fault. Expecting yet another reprimand, I'm surprised when his eyes drop to my mouth instead. I'm still worrying at my bottom lip and this time his growl is half groan.

"Someone is feeling needy today," he remarks, and instantly I blush. Before I have to respond one way or the other he leans in close and inhales deeply, dragging in my enhanced scent and undoubtedly feeling the burn it brings. Not for the first time I wonder if he isn't slightly masochistic. After all it isn't like he has to breathe at all if he chooses. I lose that train of thought at his next sentence. "Let go of your lip." Oh, right. I'm biting it, he doesn't like it when I do that, or he does like it, I can never be sure . . .

His lips are on mine less than a second after I let go, derailing every thought in my head. When he starts to roll me onto the bed all I can do is whimper. Option three is apparently not out of the question after all.

Or maybe it is. No sooner does the kiss deepen than Edward is suddenly cursing and moving away. I don't even have time to ask what's wrong when Charlie yells up the stairs.

"Bella. You've got company."

Damn it.

**EPOV**

I listen closely, poised on the edge of the bed to see if Charlie intends to come upstairs to get Bella. When his thoughts instantly turn to finding a snack to go with his beer, I relax and roll onto my back at Bella's side.

"Who?" She asks, a tiny frown wrinkling her brow and pursing her perfectly kissable little mouth.

"Alice," I tell her. "And Jasper." It's a testimony too just how deeply Bella can distract me that while I'd noted their approach toward the house, I hadn't stopped our actions until Alice had knocked at the door.

Bella, looking surprised, quickly begins to smooth down her hair and top, though in truth we hadn't gotten far enough that she needs to adjust anything. I don't tell her that my siblings will have absolutely no problem discerning what mood they are walking in on. She no doubt realizes that one all on her own.

Rising from the bed too hastily has her nearly careening into her bookshelf when her foot entangles on the messed bedding. I catch her and chuckle at her muttered thanks just as Alice bounces through the door followed by a slightly hesitant Jasper. His eyes take in Bella's messy cluttered little bedroom with a small grin, his thoughts telling me the surroundings don't surprise him. Very Bella-ish, he thinks directly at me with a small wink.

Alice nearly bounces to Bella, embracing her with a squeal. "Oh this is going to be fun. I've never been to a Drive In movie before."

"Drive In movie?"

"Yes, Edward. A Drive In theater in Port Angeles is having an all-night horror movie marathon." Alice beams at me and heads directly for Bella's closet, rummaging and discarding items so fast they're nothing more than a blur.

"That was the odd phone call," Bella offers in explanation. "Lauren invited us."

Again a part of me had been aware of the invitation but had been distracted by a different source that time. Rather than Bella it had been Mike Newton consuming the forefront of my thoughts. Or rather Mike Newton's gift and the effort I'd been putting into discerning all the underlying messages in that gift. A cd in and of itself is not really such a big deal. Anyone could purchase and give such a gift. A personally autographed cd of a band that I didn't even know she liked however? Well, that was a totally different spin. If anyone should be giving such a gift it should be me. The ban on gifts she's placed upon me certainly couldn't extend to measly cd's could it? But even if it did I never knew she even liked this particular type of music. If I had, I could have not only gotten her the cd but taken her to the concert myself. Including VIP passes backstage where she could have been present at the signing of the cd. Would she have even wanted to be present? I've never known my practical little fiancé to be enamored of any celebrity. But then again I've never asked her . . .

"Alice, we aren't going. I already told Lauren thanks, but no thanks." Bella's slightly put out tone draws me out of my petulant musings. Alice is laying clothing out on the bed for Bella like one might for a small child who's only just begun to learn to dress herself. Given Bella's current pose with her arms crossed tightly over her chest a fight might be imminent.

"Don't be silly, Bella. It will be fun." Alice tosses more clothing on the bed inspecting Bella's hair with a frown. "Do you want me to put your hair up for you?"

Bella's eyes close and I can see her struggling for patience. Sighing, I stand up and shake my head at Alice who promptly ignores me.

"Oh come on, you two. Why don't you want to go? Jasper and I want to go."

Jasper instantly arches an eyebrow at being included in that sentence, and I nearly laugh. A Drive In movie theater would be the last place Jasper would want to be.

"Uh, Alice. Lauren, um...didn't exactly...I mean she just..."

"What Bella is very politely trying to convey Alice is that the invitation did not extend to you." Sliding an arm around Bella's waist I draw her warm body back against me. "And we had plans to stay in tonight."

Alice rolls her eyes a very human reaction she has perfected to an art form. "I know we weren't specifically invited, Edward," she admonishes me, "but it is a public place. We hardly need an invitation. And as far as you two staying in? What else is new?" Sitting down on the edge of Bella's bed she instantly turns her expression into yet another human replica of pleading. I can almost feel Bella sag against me with defeat.

"Please, Bella. Pretty please? You and Edward never come up for air anymore. It's like I've lost my best friend."

I hiss slightly in a low tone Bella can't hear trying to warn Alice not to go over the top in the manipulation, but again she ignores me. She slams in her last punch hard enough I feel it.

"I miss you." If it wasn't at least partially true I might have picked her up and tossed her out the window for such a blatant guilt trip. I swear the pixie would be crying right now if she had the ability. Even Jasper groans a little in his mind at the words.

Bella being Bella sighs and caves. She turns her head back to me questioningly. "I guess we could go, I'd have to get Charlie's permis..."

Squealing Alice tugs Bella away from my arms and into hers. "Oh thank you. You're the best, Bella. And I promise it will be fun. Jasper and I will buy you popcorn and soda and everything. And we'll take blankets so we can lay in the grass close to the screen if we want. Oh and don't worry about Charlie. I'll take care of it." She's bouncing out the door to speak with Charlie before any of us can say a word. I'm not surprised to hear Bella grinding her teeth.

"You and Edward don't have to go, Bella." Jasper had finally moved farther into the room and now he's perched awkwardly in Bella's rocking chair obviously afraid of breaking it. "I can take Alice to the drive in if she wants to go."

Smiling at Jasper, Bella shakes her head. "No, it's okay. She's right. I haven't spent much time with her lately. If she wants to go, we can go." Picking up the clothes Alice had left out she replaces them back in her closet and makes her own selections. Laying them over her arm, she comes over to me rising on tiptoe to place a kiss on my mouth. "You don't mind, do you? Alice and I could go on our own if you and Jasper don't want to come."

Jasper's thoughts instantly latch onto that idea, but I shrug it off. Remnants of my musings about Mike and his gift make me aware that perhaps Bella and I aren't spending enough time focusing on the emotional aspects of our relationship. While a Drive In theater is hardly a conducive place for quiet conversation and reflection, it is at least a step outside of the bedroom.

"Don't be silly. We'll all go, Bella. It could even be . . . fun." She doesn't miss the hesitancy in my voice and the small smirk that passes over her face is proof of it. Jasper grunts as Bella heads to the bathroom to change leveling a slightly evil look my way.

"Great Edward," he mutters under his breath when the bathroom door closes. "Fun." Snorting he shakes his head. "We could have gone hunting you know. Or we could have lit burning torches and stabbed each other with them. Even that would constitute fun in comparison to a jam-packed drive in full of horny annoying adolescents."

I can't help but grimace a little at his very apt descriptive. "We should take separate cars," I say, eyeing him speculatively and thinking of the 'horny adolescents' and how that may affect him.

He snorts again. "Do you think?"

Alice bounces back in the room oblivious to all except her own excitement at experiencing a typical evening of teen related activity. I feel a slight bit of sympathy for her which helps me refrain from launching into a lecture on her over the top guilting of Bella. Though all our human memories are faded and fuzzy and lacking depth, at least we all have them. Alice having none is something I've often seen as a blessing, but I realize for perhaps the first time that it may not be so for her.

"It's all set," she beams. "Charlie is fine with it and even Rose and Emmett are going to come with us."

Bella steps back into the room looking lovely. A pair of classic form fitting jeans that hug her hips and make me think thoughts I shouldn't are topped off by her favorite blouse. The blue flatters her skin tone and brings out the lustrous brown of her eyes and hair to such an extent even Alice can't complain about having her selections ignored. She does purse her lips slightly but manages not to comment. Not surprising seeing as how she's won the most important battle after all.

After kissing Bella gently I move to the window. Since Charlie is unaware that I am already here I will need to make an exit and reentrance. I can hear that Emmett and Rose are close, having each brought a different vehicle. Rose has my Volvo while Emmett has Carlisle's coveted 1965 Porsche 911. Not exactly a Drive In theater vehicle. Ignoring his ostentatious choice I realize that tonight just might be the perfect night to unveil Bella's 'before' car. With her hands nearly completely healed and the excuses about waiting for a part to come in to fix her truck wearing thin, it's really more than overdue. As unique as the Mercedes Guardian is, next to the Porsche it shouldn't stand out to anyone who doesn't know cars extremely well. Hopefully lessening the chance for Bella to become upset about such a pricey gift. Personally I don't consider it a gift at all. As my future wife she's entitled to everything that is mine, cars included. I doubt Bella will see it my way however. I'll have to ease her into the idea.

**BPOV**

Rose picks up one of my books and wrinkles her perfect nose. No doubt the ratty paperback is something she's read and owns a first edition leather bound hard cover. Possibly even signed by Jane Austen herself. I sigh and pretend not to notice, wishing Edward would hurry up. When he jumped out my window 15 minutes ago, I expected him to merely reappear at the door. Instead according to Emmett he'd gone home to get a car. The referral to 'a' car should stick out but a simple thought on the Cullen's over packed garage stocked full of cars reminds me of their seemingly unlimited selections. Edward has told me they all love to drive and the faster the better. Which means the cars in the garage are only the tip of the iceberg in what I expect would be a large collection.

Emmett, looking ridiculously large in my tiny rocking chair, stretches his legs out in front of him. The frame groans a bit and I wonder if I shouldn't ask him to sit on the bed instead. "So what's playing?" he asks.

"Paranormal Activity, The Stepfather, and Saw 1V." Alice answers drawing the brush down the back of my hair. Out of sheer nerves at having Rose prowling restlessly around my little room I'd caved at her pleas to let her do my hair. Luckily she'd settled for merely taking a straightening iron to it.

"Cool." Emmett reaches out and snags Rose pulling her into his lap. I'm so surprised the chair holds I think my mouth falls open a little. I'm still not sure I understand why they're here. Rose says it's because there is nothing better to do, but I'm not sure I buy it. Despite the fact they have unlimited time on their hands boredom never seems to be a problem for vampires.

Thankfully I hear Edward knock at that exact same moment, and without giving Alice a chance to properly release the chunk of hair she's scorching into submission I leap off the bed. It hurts but it's a small price to pay.

"Bella, I wasn't done yet." Ignoring her I call down to tell Charlie I have it and race to the door. He's changed his shirt and he looks so good I instantly wish I hadn't agreed to this stupid Drive In idea. It must show on my expression because he leans close to kiss me and chuckles.

"Don't worry. We'll have our own car, we can leave whenever we want," he murmurs against my lips. Unable to resist I wrap my arms around his neck and deepen the kiss as much as he'll let me. And he lets me quite a bit. With a small nearly silent groan I pick up more by vibration than sound he tugs me closer while his tongue gently flicks at my bottom lip making me nearly melt. Without completely breaking the kiss he moves us inside and closes the door. My back connects with the wall and it's all I can do not to groan. Only the sound of the tv in the next room keeps me from doing so. After a long sweet breathless moment he pulls back, his eye's dark. The sound of Alice and the others coming down the stairs explains his sudden frustrated look. Taking my hand he pulls me into the living room to say our good-byes to Charlie with the others close behind. Even Rose manages to be polite before Alice herds us out the door.

Following with a sigh I can't help but glance up at my bedroom window as Edward holds open the door to a very expensive and unique looking Mercedes. The light is still on and the warm glow reminds me that if it weren't for Alice, Edward and I would be very occupied with something way better than horror flicks. Pushing the thought aside before I find some excuse not to go after all, I slide into the car's plush leather interior. A new car smell so rich and delicious it nearly makes my mouth water permeates everything. The seats are so buttery soft it's like sinking into curved body specific clouds. The car must be Esme's or Carlisle's. While gorgeous and sleek it's to sedate to belong to any of their 'kids'.

"Wow," I say to Edward as he slides into the driver's seat. "This is some car, huh."

He smiles. "Hm, yes it's nice. Very safe too." There is something rather secretive about his smile, not to mention the safe comment is off.

Snorting slightly I roll my eyes. "Well, you vampires are all about safety."

Edward laughs, the sound so velvet it makes my body hum and glides the vehicle nearly soundlessly out of the driveway. Taking my hand, he raises it to his lips, brushing them over my skin more like a caress than a kiss. "Some of us are," he says, his eyes suddenly turning gentle. "At least we are when we're in a vehicle with something infinitely precious and priceless." Flipping my hand up in his, he kisses my palm and then my wrist before lowering it back to the seat space between us. His fingers encircle my own and if I had the power to breathe I'd tell him I feel the same.

**EPOV**

The Drive In Theater is worse than I'd expected. Since I had been expecting it to be bad that's saying a lot. The instant we get close the buzz of voices inside my head turns into a dull roar. If I wasn't so used to the sensation, it would be overwhelming. I tune out what I can and focus instead on Bella. Ever since my comment about her being priceless she'd been quietly glowing. The warmth of her body heat radiates against me and her scent has long since overpowered the lingering smell of leather and plastic and metals. Still tinged as it is with the scent of her arousal it's a thousand times more intoxicating than normal. The sudden thought of continuing on past the entrance to the Drive In and finding a hotel room in Port Angeles is definitely more appealing than countless hours watching bad horror movies.

The deeper into the open space we get the louder the din of voices encroaches on my mind. Jasper is right. The place is full of horny adolescents. One of the horniest approaches the car and taps on my window after being directed to us courtesy of my increasingly annoying pixie sister. Mike Newton grins at me and positively beams at Bella when I put down the window.

"Wow, this is some car, Cullen." His use of my last name annoys me immensely. The familiarity and casualness of it seem abrasive and I find I have to strongly resist the urge to verbally take him down a notch or two. "Is this a Guardian?" He takes a step back whistling low in his throat, impressed by the vehicle and completely oblivious to the annoyed drivers behind us. "It sure looks like one, but it can't be . . . "

"_Newton,_ we're holding up traffic." Bella's fingers tighten around mine in warning at my scathing tone. If it weren't for the fact that I don't need Mike spouting off the more detailed points of a rare vehicle and giving away the expense of it, I'd be grateful his attention is on something other than Bella. I'd heard more than enough in his mind earlier when he'd come to Bella's home to drop off her gift to try my patience to its limits.

"Oh right," he grins. "Sorry. Uh, we saved you guys a spot in the third row."

By we, he means himself, Jessica, Angela and Eric and Lauren and Tyler. I have to grit my teeth to resist my desire to tell him we'll find our own spot. Ahead Emmett and Jasper have already pulled into the spots held for them and at this point it would be rude to do so. With a sigh and the most gracious nod I can muster I pull the car into the spot Tyler is all too eager to show me.

Quickly tuning the radio to the appropriate station in the hopes the movie will distract Bella from the growing curiosity of the car, I adjust the volume until it drowns out the voices. Luckily for me Bella's weaker human hearing completely misses the new debate about what a real Mercedes Guardian is worth.

Smiling at me, she shakes her head. "You look like you want to chew on someone, Edward." Her expression turns sympathetic as she looks out the window at the crowd of teenagers milling around. The main attraction movies have not yet started and so the groups are restlessly engaging in normal but rowdy interactions. "Is it bad?" she asks gently. "All the mind noise I mean?"

Reaching out I draw her into my arms and pull her closer to me. "I'm used to the noise, Bella. High school remember?"

She instantly snuggles into my side with a sigh of pleasure resting her head just beneath my shoulder and turning her mouth up for a kiss. More than willing to oblige I skim her lips with my own and swallow her greedy little whimper of pleasure. She turns her body more toward me and I deepen the kiss, tracing the soft edges of her delectable mouth with my own. A shiver skates down her spine, one born of heat rather than cold and I can't help but chuckle. Removing ourselves from the privacy of home and the comfort of her little bed has done nothing to lessen the need I'd felt growing in her body earlier tonight. As though in confirmation of my thought her warm hand slips beneath the hem of my shirt. Silky skinned fingertips lightly caress the flesh on my abdomen and her need becomes matched by my own. Grateful for the tinted windows I pull her up until she's sitting on my lap and cupping her delicate jaw firmly in my hands I take the kiss to a much more dangerous place, dipping my tongue teasingly and flittingly into her waiting mouth. A sweet little moan purrs upward from her throat at the invasion and her shiver becomes a more pronounced tremor. My hand molds to her hip and skims down her outer thigh and . . .

A tap and a less than discreet throat clearing tell me that once again my level of distraction when I have Bella in my arms is nothing less than spectacular. No matter how aware I am of someone coming near, I continue to have difficulty concentrating on them enough to give myself any desire to discontinue my actions.

With a frown of annoyance I roll down the window without allowing Bella to scoot off my lap. Alice frowns back, fists placed firmly on her hips.

"I promised Bella popcorn, Edward and the first feature is going to start soon."

"Actually, I'm not really hungry . . . "

"Bella, you can't watch a movie without popcorn."

"Alice, you make that sound like law. If she doesn't want popcorn, you can't force her." Slightly annoyed at this second interruption I try to level Alice with a look that will hopefully make her retreat, but she isn't budging.

"Nearly everyone here has popcorn, Edward. It is practically law. Besides, Bella. There are other items besides popcorn. Candy and chocolate and soda. You can get one of those if you want."

Jasper shakes his head at me from his position behind Alice letting me know with his thoughts that I'm fighting a losing battle. Alice isn't about to be deterred from her ideas of what a perfect night at the Drive In entails. When Bella once again wiggles away from me, I let her go. Giving me a regretful sigh she presses a quick kiss to my mouth and leaves the car. I don't need to read her mind to know she's as uneager to go as I am to let her.

Sighing I step out of the car myself to follow. The concession stand is packed. Two children around the age of ten nearly careen into Jasper and his small growl of displeasure is nearly lost in the noise of voices when one of them inadvertently brushes him with a sticky, precariously tilted soda cup. She stops dead in her tracks and looks up at him with sugar fueled excitement and fear. Children often see past our veils faster than their more jaded pessimistic older counterparts. The girl squeaks in alarm and nearly drops her cup. Surprisingly it's Bella who catches it before it can hit the floor and splatter us all with the syrupy noxious contents. The child looks as though she's about to cry, and Jasper quickly emits a wave of calm to dispel her oncoming hysterics. Taking the cup back from Bella, as soothed by Bella's quiet murmur and obvious normality as she is by Jasper's gift, she smiles a huge smile complete with missing front teeth.

"Thank you," she lisps, blinking past the tears, uncertain now by what had caused her fear and sudden unhappiness in the first place. Unfortunately she turns her head to see me so close behind her and her eyes once again widen in alarm. Slipping my arm around Bella's waist I draw her quickly back against me when the child's turmoil begins to manifest itself in her thoughts as an urge to regurgitate the obscene amount of sugar she's consumed. Surprisingly my actions seem to once again calm the child as she watches Bella snuggle back against me.

"Is he your boyfriend?" she asks in the blatant unmannerly way so many children have about them.

Bella chuckles a bit. "Yes, he is."

"Actually, I'm her fiancé," I tell the child, surprised slightly at my need to clarify. It would seem my pleasure in the announcement knows no bounds regardless of the capabilities the recipient has for understanding.

"What does that mean?"

"It means she's going to be my wife." My chest nearly inflates with pride at my declaration and in return I feel Bella cringe.

"Oh," the child responds still gaping openly at me with a bit of remaining uncertainty. Her eyes focus back on Bella and she scratches her nose with her sticky fingers thoughtfully. I don't get a chance to divert her before she's asking the one thing that seems to be on everyone's mind as of late. "Are you going to have a baby?"

Deciding I'm no longer inclined to humor the child or to prevent her fear I narrow my eyes and she squeaks in alarm, drops the cup Bella had saved and runs away in tears. Bella sighs. Brushing away a few drops of soda that had splattered her pant leg she spins around and arches an eyebrow at me.

"Really?" she asks. I can't help but feel slightly contrite.

"Children aren't my strong point," I offer by way of explanation. I feel a slight pang at my admission, once again being reminded of the things she will give up to be with me.

"Well they aren't mine either, but that doesn't mean I want to scare them half to death."

The child has found its sibling and its parent, and even as Bella and I speak is lamenting the scary man and using it to her advantage to wheedle more candy out of her frazzled mother. With an internal sigh I make my way quickly to the concession booth to purchase a replacement for the drink the child had dropped. Alice and Jasper reappear beside us, Jasper's arms overflowing with food items to the point where I realize it would be silly to ask Bella if there was anything she'd like. Her eyes open wide as Alice tells her she hadn't been certain so she'd basically purchased one of everything.

Taking Bella's hand I guide her away from my overbearing siblings and find the child. Her mother is digging through her purse for change to replace the drink the child continues to lament in an overly dramatic watery way. Bella wisely takes the drink from my hand and gives it to the child while I apologize to its Mother using as much charm as I am capable of. Unfortunately I forget that I am capable of a lot and the stunned woman nearly drops her purse as she blinks at me. Bella offers a second apology before quickly dragging me away muttering about being able to dress me up but not take me out.

"I dislike that comment, Bella." I tell her when we're once again in breathable air that doesn't contain the unappealing aroma of human food. I spin her gently back to face me with a smile and tug her into my arms. "It's hardly my fault children are so . . . childlike."

She laughs and rolls her eyes, and despite our public surroundings I can't resist claiming her lips for a kiss. Arching her back she pushes herself up onto her tiptoes lacing her fingers in my hair with a small throaty sigh. Her body against mine feels incredible. Wrapping my arms more securely, my hand settles in the small warm dip at the base of her spine. Her blouse has ridden up with her upraised arms and my palm finds bare skin. Bare skin that feels like the finest, richest, imported silk. The tiny bones of her spine delicate and fragile seem to guide my fingers down to slip past the slight gap in the waistband of her jeans. Though my fingers barely breach the barrier of fabric, her skin feels infinitely softer and warmer here. The lace edge of her panties teases my senses and a little growl erupts from my own throat. I can tell simply by that tiny teasing feel that she's wearing one of my favorite pairs. The black pair with the tiny hot pink bow that sits a few inches beneath her bellybutton on the sculpted lace-edged waistband.

_Look at them. Do they ever quit? God, he's got his hand nearly down her pants, lucky bastard. Man I bet her skin is so soft, and that ass oh man, it's perfect, makes you just want to lick it and bite. . ._

Mike Newton is a dead man. Lifting my head from Bella's I watch him approach with barely restrained irritation. If he'd been alone, I'm not certain I could have kept my restraint and resisted showing him the true meaning of biting.

Luckily Jessica is with him and before I can react inappropriately to thoughts I shouldn't be aware of, she's grabbing Bella by the hand and tugging her away from me. "I have to pee. Bella come with me."

Bella looks at me, apologetically shrugging her shoulders as Jessica instantly continues to pull her away in the direction of the restrooms. Emmett appears at my side carrying more popcorn and candy, luckily distracting me from Mike's continued inappropriate thoughts. Now he's envisioning Bella and Jessica servicing him in the backseat of the Guardian. A vehicle that in his sordid fantasy includes a drop down large screen TV playing a pornographic movie. Emmett catches my low growl and raises an eyebrow in question.

"What is it with chicks and bathrooms?" Mike asks, completely oblivious to the beating he's inches from receiving. "Jessica starts whining she has to go, but instead of just doing it she spends 15 minutes dragging me all over the place looking for someone to go with her." He huffs and finally quits ogling Bella's bottom when they disappear. He turns to face me expecting some type of response to his query. "I mean, what is that?"

He's further saved from my wrath by the arrival of Eric and Angela. As always Angela's mind and thoughts are a welcome relief and she smiles shyly at Emmett and I with a gracious greeting. "Where's Bella?" she asks me quietly.

Mike snorts and replies before I can. "Bathroom. If you hurry, you can catch them."

"Um, okay." She looks at him oddly before handing Eric her soda and moving away.

"See? What did I just say? I don't get it. What're they doing, holding each other's hands?"

"You got a fetish or something, Newton?" Emmett asks straight-faced.

"What?" He looks confused and instantly intimidated, his feet shuffling slightly takes him a few inches further away from Emmett.

"A fetish. You know. Weird shit gets you off? Golden showers or something, cause you're way too interested in what they're doing in there."

"What? That's sick I . . . "

"It's all right man. I'm not judging. I hear they got new therapies for that kind of deviant stuff though. You should Google it."

Eric snorts and then looks down at his feet when Mike glares at him.

"It was just a comment, I don't have a fetish, that's disgusting."

"Ah well, whatever." Emmett winks at him and Mike decides he needs a drink. As he stalks away Emmett grins at me before shoving the food items into my hands. "For Bella," he says by way of explanation absurdly pleased with himself. I sigh. This really wasn't a good idea. And to think I could be with Bella in her room, in her small bed, taking a slow sensual amount of time to show her how much she's loved, relishing all those erotic little sounds she makes, watching her bite her lip to muffle her cry when I bring her to a sweet much needed release . . .

"Emmett." Rose's growl snaps me out of my fantasy making me wonder if I'm in fact any better than Mike Newton or any of the other horny teenagers around me. "Bella can't eat all that, you'll make her sick, idiot. Besides Jasper and Alice already bought the damn concession stand out." She yanks the food out of my hands and dumps it in the garbage bin beside us. "Stop intimidating the damn humans too while you're at it. Mike Newton looks like a tomato about to burst." Spinning on her dainty designer heels she storms off and Emmett grins even larger.

"Gorgeous when she's mad isn't she?" With a quick lunge that only barely looks humanly feasible, he races off after her with thoughts I definitely don't need to see. Especially not when I'm seeing nearly triple the normal amount. The hormones raging tonight are nearly visible they're so thick. Grimacing I head back to the car, pausing for one quick second to thump loudly on the side of a gray mustang. Inside two of the sources of the hormone laden air jump. The female scrambles back, taking advantage of the opportunity I'd given her to extricate herself from a situation she wasn't entirely sure she wanted.

I make a mental note as I repeat the thump on a second vehicle two rows up that telepathic vampires have no business being anywhere near a Drive In movie theater. Especially when all I want to do is take Bella and pull her into the very spacious back seat of the Guardian and give her a memorable reason to want to accept the car as her own.

I'm in no position to be playing moral police.

_To be continued . . ._

* * *

A/N Huge thanks to everyone who fed the lemon tree last chapter. You guys are beyond amazing and hopefully you all know how much I appreciate evey single word you leave me. Unfortunately lemon trees don't feed themselves so you need to do it again, lol.

Btw... **_knock knock... Hey you. Yes you. I see you there, reading oh so quietly and getting ready to run away hoping I won't notice you didn't leave a review. You too can save a poor little lemon from a cruel fate. One teeny tiny review will save him or her from shriveling up from lack of nourishment and falling too early from the loving arms of its Mother tree, thus landing on the cold hard unforgiving ground. Preventing its lonely sad little lemony tears from leaking into the ground and poisoning the same soil that feeds its desperately hungry brothers and sisters. Can you hear it crying?? Poor, poor little lemon... such a cruel fate and all because you denied it nourishment. Tsk tsk, hit and run readers, tsk tsk. ;) Don't you feel bad for me... uh, I mean the little lemon?_**


	20. Chapter 20

A/N Fiery Frustrations will now have a Part 3. Sorry if the lack of lemon here disappoints anyone. Hopefully it won't as I think this chapter is extremely fun and funny. Again thanks to MythicalPolitician. Her little idea spawned this - now - monstrous 3 part chapter.

Thanks to everyone who fed the lemon tree last chapter. Reviews are important to writers. Feedback makes all the difference in the world as they offer both encouragement and help with direction. Even just a quick liked it/hated it helps more than silence. Silence equals apathy, and apathy translates to "I don't care if I ever see another chapter of this story." So if you do care and you have a minute, I'd really appreciate the support. Nuff said, I'll quit begging, lol.

Also to everyone who is waiting for me to update FBR, I apologize for how slow I'm being. I'm updating my profile page, you can find more detailed info on all my fics there.

Thanks to my awesome beta Octoberland and to my BFFP Cella72 for all the help and support with this chap. :-)

Fiery Frustrations Part 2

**BPOV**

Jessica drags me away from Edward in the direction of the bathrooms with the tenacity of a bull terrier.

"Jess, ease up on the wrist." I tell her. Tugging the appendage away from her iron tight grasp I rub the red marks she left hoping they don't bruise.

"Sorry." she replies as we enter the washroom. "I just _really_ need to talk to someone."

I can't help but notice the way she says 'someone' instead of you, and wonder why she isn't talking to Lauren. She and I haven't exactly been the best of friends at the best of times and we've grown much farther apart lately. When she starts to cry I feel instantly contrite for my less than friendly feelings and I put my arms around her. "Jess, what's wrong?" She hugs me back with a few watery sniffles then tugs away so she can quickly check under the stall doors for feet. Seeing none she draws me further away from the door beginning to cry in earnest.

"There's something wrong with me, Bella. I think I might be..."

My heart skips a beat when her voice lowers to a whisper that trails off into a less than quiet wail. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do or say. My mind instantly wonders if she's pregnant, and if so who the father is. Mike would be the most obvious choice, but there are rumours floating around that she and Tyler may have had a brief thing as well. I don't pay a lot of attention to rumours, nor do I put any stake in them being truthful. But, well, Jessica was Jessica, and Mike and Tyler were, Mike and Tyler. The oddest spike of jealousy ripples through me. Not jealousy over the fact that she might be pregnant, and certainly not over either of the possible fathers. My jealousy is all about how careless she can be and how careful I have to be. All the time, every time. Fear of death or bodily injury was the most reliable birth control method ever. And the most unnecessary given the circumstances. It's not as if I can get pregnant after all. Pushing my own issues aside, I focus in on Jessica.

"What Jess?" I ask as gently as I can. I grab some paper towels and stuff them into her hand when her mascara starts to run. "You think you might be what?"

She shakes her head, her eyes pleading. "You can't tell anyone okay? Promise first on our friendship you won't tell." Bartering our very weak translation of friendship on a heavy promise is risky, though she obviously doesn't see it that way. I force myself to nod my head in agreement. The possibility of pregnancy goes up a notch in my mind with her panicked glance at the door. Lowering her voice back to another whispered hiss, she leans close to me.

"I think I might be... be..." She loses the fight with another sob and the final word comes out loud enough I flinch in reaction. "Frigid." she wails.

I stare at her in complete shock and she takes my silence for something other than surprise.

"If you laugh at me, Bella, I swear I will never talk to you again!" She stomps her foot on the grimy floor for emphasis, and for a moment the urge to do just that is nearly overwhelming. Trying to control myself, I grab another paper towel and run it under cool water as all the meanings of frigid bounce around my brain. I can obviously rule out the literal translation, which really only leaves one other and, wow, isn't this awkward.

"I'm not going to laugh at you, Jess." I tell her with as much compassion as I can find. "You just shocked me that's all." Her expression relaxes as she accepts the wet towels and moves to the mirror to wipe away the black streaks on her skin.

Taking a deep breath, she rolls her eyes slightly with a weak smile. "I know right? It's ridiculous."

I'm glad she admits it. Although no sooner am I glad then she puts a whole new spin on it in typical self-centered Jessica fashion. "I mean, if anyone was going to be frigid in our group you'd think it would be you, Bella. No offense." she adds quickly at my arched brow which she can see in the mirror.

"None taken," I reply dryly. She turns back to face me with a sigh.

"Don't take it the wrong way, Bella. I'm not trying to be insulting, and I mean, hello? Just look at you and Edward Cullen and the way you guys are all over each other and stuff. You're so obviously not frigid." She gestures to my engagement ring with another eye roll before turning back to the mirror. "Of course it could've been Angela. She's kind of uptight as well. And _I know_ Eric wants to be hitting it and isn't judging by the look of frustration he's always got on his face..." She huffs out a breath like the weight of the world is on her shoulders and the tears start again. I don't feel nearly as sympathetic. Still, barring being outright rude and walking out on her, I am kind of stuck. And she did come to me for help. Pushing away her implied insults to both Angela and myself, I lean against the counter beside her and try to think of what to say.

"I guess you have a reason for thinking you're..."

"Frigid?" she offers with more tears.

"Yeah. That's kind of a harsh word, Jess."

"It is harsh, but it's also correct." She starts to cry harder and more streaks of mascara join the ones she hadn't quite yet washed away. I find myself wondering exactly how much mascara she put on today and again I have to kick myself for being so cold.

"Okay. So what makes you think you're... frigid?" The word makes me feel uncomfortable and I know I'm going to regret asking. Not that there seems to be any way out of it. I wonder vaguely if Edward is listening in, then just as quickly discard the thought. Jessica's mind isn't somewhere he likes to be. Plus he'd never invade our privacy, especially when we're in a washroom. The thought has me wanting to smile so I bite my lip before she can misconstrue its meaning.

Heaving another dramatic sigh, Jess once again scrubs at the mascara. "I don't think. I know."

Instead of asking again, I wait quietly. I'm uncomfortable enough with the topic not to want to drag it out of her. Unfortunately the silence only lasts a few seconds before she tosses the wet towels in the sink and spins around with still more tears falling.

"Mike and I have done it six times, Bella. _Six_ times, and I still don't like it. I've never even had an... had an..."

Oh God. If she says what I think she's going to say, I'm going to die.

"Orgasm." The wailing reaches all new heights and now it's my eyes darting to the door. Only instead of worrying someone might come in, I'm praying they will.

"Oh." I feel like I have to say something, but that's the best I can manage. I mean, what do you say to something like that? Luckily she's in full spill her guts mode and doesn't seem to need me to say a lot. Or unlucky. For me anyway.

"I mean the first time it hurt. Like a lot." She emphasizes the word a lot with arm gestures and eye widening. I bite my lip with a slight twinge of my own remembered insecurity. If it hurt a lot for her with a human, what was it going to feel like for me with Edward? I resist the insane urge to ask her how much a lot is exactly, biting my lip while butterflies explode in my stomach.

"But the first time is supposed to hurt, right?"

Realizing she's expecting an answer, I manage a small nod and an, "I guess."

She narrows her eyes at that suspiciously, but quickly goes back to her own rants. "But the second time is supposed to be better. Even Mike said so." She sniffles and I grab her more paper towels so she can blow her nose.

In for a penny in for a pound I think ruefully, glancing hopefully once more at the door before asking, "And it wasn't?" I regret the words a bit, but honestly now I'm a little curious and still just a bit worried about the implications on my own 'experience.' I realize for the first time that it kind of sucks I don't have a close human girlfriend I can talk about this stuff with.

"No, not at all." Jessica blows her nose again loudly. I bite my lip harder. "God, I swear it was worse."

The butterflies start flying faster and I wonder when I became such a wimp. Am I not the one that is willing to face days of feeling like I am burning alive at the stake to be with Edward forever? What was a little pain in the face of that?

"I mean, I knew it was going to hurt, Bella. It's like drilled in our heads from the time we're old enough to understand what sex is. But I kind of always thought it was a little bit of a myth, you know?" She sniffles loudly and shakes her head. "The third time didn't hurt as much, but it still hurt like hell and the fourth wasn't a heck of a lot better either." She snorts in disgust. "It's like my body betrayed me or something." she cries. "I liked everything fine until it got down to the actual putting it in part."

Wincing, I turn to the sink and put my hand under the cold spigot on full. The phrase too much information takes on a whole new meaning for me and I feel like I should have a flashing TMI sign on my forehead that I can turn on for these kinds of occasions. Oblivious to my discomfort, Jessica keeps going full tilt.

"The last time at least only hurt a little bit, but still. I mean, I just don't get it. Is that all there is? Is that the best it gets? He sticks it in and it only hurts a little. He moves it around and then... I mean, that's it?" She starts to cry again and I stare at her helplessly. Of all the people she could have talked to about this, I still don't understand why me. That is until she asks her next question. Turning to face me, her dark smeared eyes pleading, she grabs my arm. Her nails dig in slightly to my skin.

"It's not like that for you is it, Bella? I can tell it's not. You're always on Edward, so it can't be." She lets go of my arm and I rub it absentmindedly with my wet hand, her comment stinging more than her nails had. Was I always _on_ Edward?

"You two obviously can't get enough of one another, while I'm just trying to hold Mike off with a stick. I've been giving him every excuse I can think of lately, but I'm running out. I even told him I had my period, but the idiot's been counting days and it's been fourteen. I can't use that excuse anymore. And where are we tonight?" She throws her hands up in the air and stomps to the garbage to toss out the paper towels, grabbing more on her way back. Her nose is starting to look raw so I go into a stall to get her some slightly softer toilet paper instead. I can't help wondering in helpless frustration how a drive-in can be so packed while the washroom remains empty.

"The Drive In, that's where." she cries as though I didn't know where we were. "The make out, have sex, Capitol of the world." I resist the urge to correct her sad metaphor and lean back against the counter. I wonder how long before Edward comes looking for me. For once his worry wart nature might be a blessing instead of a curse.

Sniffling, but at least not crying as much, she stops pacing and stands in front of me. "So is it me, Bella? Is there something wrong with me, or is this normal?"

"Uh, Jess. I um, really don't know..."

She rolls her eyes and snorts. "Oh come on, Bella. I'm not trying to pry. I don't want all the gory details. I just..." Her tone changes and I feel another stab of pity for her when I see she really is upset and worried about all this. "I just need to know if maybe there's something wrong with me and I can't talk to anyone else about this. I mean, maybe it isn't me. Maybe it's.... Mike?" She looks suddenly hopeful and more pleading than ever. I realize she really wants me to confirm that for her and that she wants to judge Mike's skill against Edward's. I almost laugh again. I'm pretty sure there wouldn't be much of a comparison. In fact obviously there isn't. From what she's said Mike is a typical teenage guy. A victim of his own inexperience and probably nervous bumbling. Edward is anything but. Cringing at being dragged into this, I shrug helplessly.

"Look, Jess. I don't know. I guess the best I can say is, you need to talk to Mike about all this. Does he even know how you feel?"

She goes pale and shakes her head hard. "No, God no. I've totally been faking it. I can't tell him. Are you kidding? He'll break up with me. Promise you won't say anything, Bella. Promise?"

I'm tempted to remind her I already promised, but nod instead. A little bit of colour comes back in her face and she sighs. "Can't you just tell me what it's like for you and Edward? I mean, do you _like_ it?"

Cornered, I do what I always do. Tell the truth. "Um. Jess. Edward and I are waiting until after the wedding so..." I definitely have no intentions of telling her any of the other details or telling her how much I do like 'it'. Or at least the _it_ we've actually done. And I'm certainly not about to tell her that in the last few weeks I've had more mind blowing orgasms than I can count

Her eyes get so wide I think it must hurt before they just as quickly narrow in hostile suspicion. "Bullshit." she snaps. She goes back to the garbage, feet pounding the floor like a spoiled child all the way and dumps the tissue I'd given her. "You know, you could at least be honest just this once, Bella. I came to you as a friend and told you a very personal problem."

"I am being honest." I tell her, my own temper flaring a little. It's not as if I wanted her to tell me her very personal business.

She crosses her arms over her chest and glares at me. "Yeah. Right. Come on, Bella. Everyone knows why you and Edward are in such a hurry to get married. Though if you ask me in this day and age it's kind of stupid. Tons of people have babies out of wedlock. It's hardly a big deal anymore. My cousin has two kids with two different guys, and she's not married to either one of them. No one cares, Bella."

I see red. Straightening up from the counter, I ball my fists and wonder which part of her face will hurt my fist the least. "For the last and final time, Jess. I am not pregnant."

Her eyes narrow again and dart to my stomach speculatively. I decide her nose is the perfect combination of soft flesh, rubbery cartilage and satisfying crunch worthy bone, just as Angela enters the bathroom.

"Hey guys." she greets us heading for a stall. "Way too much diet coke, excuse me for a sec." The door closes and the only sounds are Angela's rustling clothing and my laboured breathing.

"Oh darn. There's no TP in here. Bella, can you get me some?"

Uncurling my fists I move on adrenaline shaky legs to the nearest stall grateful for Angela's interruption. I really didn't want to hit Jessica, but the constant stress of having everyone whispering behind my back was really starting to get to me.

Behind me, I hear Alice breeze in through the door and roll my eyes at her less than perfect timing.

"There you are, Bella. The first movie is about to start and the popcorn is getting cold. Aren't you coming?" I turn to see her crouch slightly in her impossibly graceful way, tucking her hand under Angela's door. "Here Ang, use this hun, that toilet paper is horrific." She passes a travel packet of Kleenex to Angela, and smiles much too brightly at Jess.

"Everything okay?"

Jessica instantly narrows her eyes at me before returning them to Alice. "Everything is fine. Bella and I were just _talking_." She emphasizes the word talking, obviously trying to convey that she doesn't appreciate the interruption. Alice just smiles and moves to the mirror playing with her perfect hair. The fluorescent lighting makes her look less pale and oddly more beautiful. She fishes around in her bag and hands Jess a tube of mascara and some make up removing wipes. Why she has those things is beyond me. She doesn't wear makeup. I regard her suspiciously, but she ignores me. She keeps her attention on Jess who thanks her and accepts the items with no less suspicion than me.

"You know, I wasn't trying to eavesdrop or anything, but I did hear a bit of your conversation." Alice says nonchalantly. Jess nearly jabs herself in the eye with the wand. Alice tsks gently and takes it away from her. "Here, let me help." She applies the mascara with a quick practised hand and a stunned slightly dazzled Jessica doesn't stop her. I roll my eyes in disgust. Alice is as bad as Edward. Or as good, depending on how you look at it. Her voice drops to a gentle sympathetic level.

"My brother and Bella _are_ kind of old fashioned. They really are waiting, but you know if you need someone to talk to, I'm a good listener." She caps the mascara and replaces it back in her bag while Jess blushes. "Don't worry. I won't say anything to anyone."

"Won't say anything about what?" Angela usually so tactful comes out of the stall fussing with a button on her skirt. Distracted, she's failed to pick up on the tension.

"Nothing!" Jess blurts quickly and almost angrily making Angela jump. "Just nothing okay." She looks at me and shakes her head the pleading look back in her eyes. Sighing internally, and lucky for her not the vindictive type, I nod at her unspoken question. She smiles and blinks past newly appearing tears hugging me so suddenly and so hard she almost knocks the wind out of me. She rushes out of the room without a backward glance.

Angela looks from me to Alice with a slightly bemused look. "Um, did I miss something?"

"No, not at all," Alice replies breezily. "Just Jessica being Jessica. Here let me help you with that button." Alice produces a sewing kit from her magic bag and I stick my shaky hands back under a freezing cold spray of water. Sometimes I just can't keep up.

**EPOV**

Jasper sets two large trays over laden with neatly itemized candy packages and soda cups on the hood of the car. There are more than enough concession items to feed twenty people, although the fact seems oddly as lost on him as it does on Alice.

"Does Bella like Coke or Sprite or Root beer better?" he asks, popping straws into each cup.

"Jasper. Bella can't possibly drink all that soda."

"Oh, well, she doesn't have to drink it all. Alice and I just weren't sure which kind she liked."

I pinch the bridge of my nose and strive for patience as I spot Emmett making his way toward us with his own tray. Somehow he's managed to get around Rose and back to the concession stand. He places another tray beside Jasper's with a scowl, his mind comparing items.

"I got her tropical flavoured skittles. Ha. I bet she likes those better than original flavoured." he jeers at Jasper.

"You're on."

"You wanna get in on this Edward? I take dibs on Snickers over Mars bar."

"You're both idiots." I mutter.

"What? You want dibs on Snickers over Mars?"

Rolling my eyes and resisting the urge to cuff them both, I point to the overabundance of candy. "A human being cannot consume all that candy without at the least becoming violently ill and at the very worst becoming hyperglycaemic. Are you two trying to make Bella sick?"

Emmett makes an amused snorting noise. "We don't want her to eat it all. We just want to make sure she gets to pick what she wants." He frowns at the items in front of him. "I tried to get her some pancakes, but they didn't have any and I guess they don't make pancake flavoured candy or popcorn. Kind of stupid. Aren't pancakes popular? Maybe I should try and bribe one of those people behind the counter to make some for her. I know she really likes pancakes." He pulls out his wallet and starts counting bills. "Edward, how hard is it to make pancakes? Like a hundred bucks hard?"

If I pinch the bridge of my nose any harder, I'm going to break it. "Idiot." I mutter under my breath. I can just imagine what the concession stand attendants must have thought of his insane request. I swear after all the high school we've endured you'd think he would have picked up a thing or two about human eating habits. I let go of my nose and snatch the wallet out of his hands. I do it much too fast but luckily a quick look around assures me no one noticed. Mike, Tyler and Eric are only a few feet away, thankfully too engrossed in their attempts to add shots of liquor into the tray of sodas on the hood of Mike's car. Their discretion lacks something to be desired. Luckily for them this is not a place where discretion is highly necessary.

"You can't bribe concession stand employees into making pancakes, Emmett. Besides, Bella doesn't want them, trust me."

"Fine." he replies, his mind showing I'd just somehow hurt his feelings slightly. He snatches back the wallet with more control than I had shown, and sticks it back in his pocket. "I was just trying to be nice."

"Someone's uptight tonight." Jasper notes sarcastically. "Something bothering you, Edward?"

I give him a slightly incredulous look considering our surroundings. He smiles slightly, waving his arm at the cars and people around us. "Besides the obvious that is."

"Yeah. What's with you? Aren't you supposed to be less crabby given the fact you're finally getting some?" Emmett puts air quotes around the term 'getting some'. I give in to the urge to dole out some pain, and punch him in the shoulder. I can't use much of my strength and he absorbs the blow as though I patted him, grinning and mocking me for it in his thoughts. I make a mental note to give him one that counts later.

"Perhaps that is why he's so crabby." Jasper teases moving back a bit when he senses my growing hostility.

"Why? Because he isn't getting any? Uh oh. Did something happen? Come on, tell big brother Emmett. You need some advice. I'm your guy."

"Emmett? Isn't Rose mad at you right now?" I ask quietly, looking over his shoulder as though I see her. He turns around quickly and then back again, glaring at me slightly and shoving the tray toward Jasper.

"She sees this, you and Alice bought it. Right?"

Jasper laughs and Emmett shrugs. "Shut up. You two are just as whipped as I am. I don't see either of you two getting any right now either. Where are Alice and Bella anyway?"

"Bathroom."

"What, still?" Emmett looks in that direction then back at me before looking at the candy and remembering my warnings. "Did she eat any of this? It didn't make her sick, did it?" His mind panics a bit. He hasn't forgotten the infection and fever she'd suffered from her burns or her resultant fall into his arms that had terrified him more so than is rational.

"She's fine." I tell him, touched despite his idiocy.

"Alice is with her." Jasper offers, sending out a small wave of calm that significantly slows down not only Emmett's fear, but the action in a car parked across from Mike's. Noting it, Jasper toys with the idea of sending out even more intense waves in the hopes of shutting down the near constant assault of sexual feelings he's picking up on. If he had his way he'd stretch his gift to its limits and put the entire lot to sleep. I shake my head at him and he shrugs sheepishly.

"Well, that's good. Alice knows how breakable she is right?"

"Emmett."

"What?"

I shake my head at him as well, grateful at least that the conversation has turned away from my mood. Even I am not entirely certain what has me less than patient. I'm attributing it to several things at once. One being the environment. I can do without the constant onslaught of sex related topics and activities. Two being the close proximity to Mike Newton, who's somehow managed to keep a near constant fantasy running through his mind that stars Bella as the leading female role. I haven't forgotten his present either, or the fact that I was out of the loop on any aspect of Bella's likes and dislikes. Combine all of that with the third factor which is the frustration of having my time alone with Bella interrupted repeatedly, and it really is no wonder I'm agitated and irritable. My final frustration comes in the form of Bella herself. She'd been in an odd mood before we left Charlie's and I hadn't had a chance to fully understand what it was, nor had we had an opportunity to discuss it since. I sensed that she was feeling needy, but also that the need went beyond physical. Perhaps it's reassurance she's after? Our growing intimacy has been such a whirlwind; we haven't had a lot of time to discuss everything...

My thoughts are suddenly interrupted. Emmett and Jasper have continued the absurd betting on Bella's preferences. It isn't however their conversation that catches my ear. It's the conversation between Mike, Tyler and Eric that catches it. I pinch the bridge of my nose yet again. Of all the absurd...

"You guys are not hanging out here much longer. As soon as Jess gets back, you need to get lost." Mike shoves Eric playfully.

"Ooh, Mikey boy thinks he's getting some." Tyler chants with a laugh.

"Not think, man, I know. Jess's been doing that holding out thing girls always do, but trust me, she's missing it as much as me. Probably more."

"Whatever dude," Tyler says with a laugh. "I already got some from Lauren tonight. A little - just for me time - if you get the drift."

"Whatever yourself, dude," Mike snorts. "I'm getting the entire deal."

"Whatever, I'm outta here." Tyler jams his hands in his pockets and stalks off in search of Lauren, his mind spinning out his pre-planned pleas to get her to 'put out'. Jasper pauses in his argument over M&Ms and Smarties, and grunts slightly under the overly aggressive emotion.

"You really think Jess is going to put out tonight?" Eric asks Mike with overly done casualness. Unlike Mike and Tyler he has no intention of discussing his personal relationship with Angela. He is however worried that the lack of anything _to_ discuss might be a reflection of Angela's feelings for him.

"I don't think, I know, man. Besides you make it sound as if it's the first time. Jess and I have done it practically a hundred times. We've been going at it like bunnies since day one." I grit my teeth against a desire to laugh at his utterly absurd exaggerations.

"So why's she been holding back?" Eric can't quite keep the disbelief from his tone, and again I have to fight a laugh as Mike's mind instantly scrambles to find a reasonable excuse. Jessica has fed him many, but none of them very believable. She's run out of excuses and so has he.

"Holding back isn't exactly the right words." he hedges. "But you know man, girl stuff, that time of the month and... what not."

What not?

He hears his words and knows he sounds idiotic even as both Eric and I think the same thing. What not indeed. Again I have to fight not to laugh. Mike isn't as dumb as he sometimes acts. He knows Jessica has been putting him off for a reason, but his conceit hasn't quite yet allowed him to see the truth of the matter.

Turning back to Jasper and Emmett, suddenly in a much better frame of mind about my jealousy regarding Mike Newton's gift, I tune out the rest of the conversation. I even throw in a bet for Coke over Sprite.

**BPOV**

"You couldn't have rescued me earlier?" I grouse to Alice as we leave Angela with Eric when he meets us coming out of the washroom.

"Sorry, Bella." she sighs. "I wasn't really paying attention, and I didn't see Jessica's mind going in the direction it did until the last minute. And anyway, you can't be surprised. You know everyone is thinking it. Small town gossip hasn't exactly evolved much."

"So why did you interrupt then?"

Smiling, she loops her arm through mine. "Bella, you were about to punch her in the face. Now what kind of a sister would I be if I let you ruin a perfectly good night with a trip to the emergency room."

"I think you're seriously overestimating my punching power. I doubt I would have broken her nose."

She laughs musically, attracting several startled glances that are quickly followed by twice as many male admiring ones. "Not Jessica , silly. You. She would have ducked and your fist would have hit the hand dryer breaking your knuckle. Again." She adds the last with a sigh and a shake of her head. "Really Bella, did you learn nothing from your last attempt at punching some..." She trails off feeling me tense and instantly apologizes. No one has heard from Jacob Black for weeks and I could do without the reminder. Especially since not only does my engagement cause everyone to assume I must be knocked up. It also came with the much more painful price of losing my best friend forever.

Alice squeezes me gently and changes the subject. "So. Poor Jessica."

I'm still stinging from her refusal to believe that I'm not pregnant, or sleeping with Edward, but I do feel a little sorry for her. "Yeah. She's kind of a mess." I bite my lip hesitating and then finally throw caution to the wind and ask quickly. "Alice, I know you don't remember being human but..."

She looks at me curiously and I shake my head realizing the futility of the question on someone with her past. "Bella." she admonishes me in her tone. "You know you can ask me anything. What is it?"

"I guess I was just thinking about what Jess told me and I was just wondering if you remembered your first time." I feel her stiffen a little and instantly regret the question. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be insensitive."

"I know that, Bella." she reassures me gently. "I actually don't mind the question. I do remember my first time after all. It was with Jazz and it was wonderful." She smiles so big it lights up her whole face and I can't help but smile back. "I just realized though that it must be hard for you not having a human friend you can talk to about this kind of stuff. I'm afraid it's different when you're... like us." She leans closer, lowering her voice. "Human girls have it so much harder. We don't experience pain the way you do at all."

Inside I flinch, but outside I keep my expression neutral. I don't think she's made the connection between Edward and I and our first time yet, and I don't want her to. Luckily Rose suddenly appears ending any train of thought Alice might have begun to have.

"Have you two seen Emmett?" she asks with her usual lack of friendliness.

Alice closes her eyes for a second. "He's.... with Jasper and Edward by the Guardian." She reopens her eyes with a smile. "He's about to bet Jasper that Bella will like more of the candy he bought than what Jazz and I bought for her."

Rosalie's eyes narrow into cold slits and I swear I hear her teeth grind together. Alice looks slightly repentant. "Oops," she murmurs. "Cats out of the bag now."

Rose snorts. "I am going to kill him. I just threw out an entire box full of crap he bought for her and told him you and Jasper had already bought more than she can eat."

"Oh go easy, Rosie. He's just being Emmett and he loves Bella as well you know."

I'd almost raise an eyebrow at the words 'as well' if I wasn't a little afraid of attracting Rose's wrath.

"I know that, Alice," she snaps, "but it's absurd. Am I the only one here besides Edward who knows anything about human consumption limits? And _why_ is that Jessica Stanley girl snivelling in the corner by the concession stand? God, she is so annoying."

"She's upset, Rose. She's not trying to be annoying." Her golden eyes hold sparks when she looks at me. So much for not attracting her wrath.

"What on earth does she have to be upset about? She's pretty enough. She's human. She has a whole lifetime of possibility in front of her. Is she stupid?"

"Rose." Alice shakes her head though Rose ignores her, keeping her eyes on me instead.

"Well, is she?"

"No, she's not stupid." I don't know why I feel I have to defend her, but it is Rose after all. I know what she can be like and with her temperamental nature the last thing Jessica needs is to listen to some scathing comment from my exquisitely beautiful and equally terrifying sister-in-law to be.

"Then... what?"

"She's going out with Mike Newton. Need I really say more?" I ask, hoping to get out of her line of fire. Rose rarely lets anything go once she's got her teeth into it, and I really don't want to be her latest meal.

"Hmm," she says speculatively, turning finally from me to Alice no doubt seeking a weaker link in the gossip train. "Alice?"

Alice giggles and leaning forward hisses the entire sordid tale to Rose in a whisper so fast I can't make out the words.

"Alice!" I yell.

"What? Rose won't tell."

Rose shakes her head looking more irritated than she had moments ago despite now knowing the truth about Jessica's state of mind. "Well that is stupid. She really thinks she's the problem?" She snorts and suddenly stalks off. We find her only minutes later with Edward, Jasper and Emmett, inviting Mike of all people to take one of the ridiculously overloaded trays of candy. Angela and Eric join us and laugh at her explanation.

"My idiot boyfriend seems to think buying snacks means buying out the concession stand. It's all going to end up in the garbage if you don't take it."

"Aw, babe. Don't be like that. I'm not an idiot." She glares at him and he rolls his eyes, wisely choosing to shut up. She hands a bunch to Angela and Eric as well and even gestures over Lauren and Tyler. Her generosity has me and Edward both raising a brow as he comes over and wraps a cool solid arm around my waist. Leaning against the car, which sticks out like a sore thumb among the more practical and beat up teen owned vehicles of Forks' adolescents, he draws me back against him. Placing a tender kiss behind my ear, he chuckles lightly.

"She's up to something." he murmurs for my benefit. Not that I couldn't guess that one for myself.

Rose opens a box of Smarties and laughs, teasingly holding up a green one before appearing to pop it in her mouth. It's unlikely the candy actually made it there, but try as I might I can't figure out what she did with it. "Look, Emmett. I'm eating the green ones and you know what they say about the green ones. Are you going to be able to handle me tonight?"

"What do they say about the green ones?" Angela asks innocently. She blushes at the resultant laughs catching the sexual innuendo a moment too late.

"Better give her some of those." Mike taunts, lacking class as always. "Right Eric?"

"Shut up, man. Don't be an ass." Eric mutters back. He's blushing himself and shaking his head in what he no doubt hopes is an innocent look.

"The green ones supposedly make you horny." Rose pretends to pop another into her mouth and smiles at Angela. "Eat enough of them and you won't have to fake it for a week."

"Hey," Emmett growls. "You don't need green Smarties, babe. I got you covered, trust me. Faking it isn't in the equation."

Rose laughs. "Not with you, I know. But not every girl is as lucky as I am. There are probably more girls faking orgasms in this place alone tonight than there are green Smarties in this box." She rattles the box in mention with a wink in my direction. "Right Mike?" She asks it so innocently he doesn't quite catch the innuendo.

"I don't know anything about that." he quips back, not realizing the double entendre to his statement. He tries to inject the words with more bravery than he probably feels. Rose is incredibly intimidating, and with Emmett wrapping his very muscular large arms around her while regarding Mike curiously, he has to be a bit freaked.

I hiss Rose's name under my breath in warning and elbow Edward in the hopes he'll stop Rose from taking this where I think she's taking it. Poor Jessica will never forgive me. I think he must say something to her in a volume only they can hear because she glances his way and I feel his cool breath ghost my cheek like it would if he was whispering something. Her eyes tighten slightly, but otherwise she seems to ignore him fishing yet another green Smartie from the box.

"Why would they fake it?" Angela's still blushing but obviously curious in spite of it. "I mean, isn't that kind of like lying?"

"A little," Rose answers her, surprising me by not making fun of her. "But some girls don't have a choice. It's either fake it, or tell the guy he's a dud."

"Edward, stop her. Alice..." I try again to elbow Edward which is futile. I can only hurt myself. He catches my elbow easily in his cold fingers and tightens them enough I can't move while Alice shrugs helplessly.

"I rather think you might be over simplifying things a tad, Rose." Edward finally interjects. She rolls her eyes at him amused.

"Oh come on Edward, please. Yes some women can't, but most can. The reason they don't is either psychological blocks or a direct result of being in bed, or the backseat, with a dud."

Mike snorts drawing attention to himself. "Oh come on. That whole faking it thing isn't real." When he's confronted with several surprised looks, he tugs weakly at his collar. "Right?" He clears his throat gearing his nerve back up. "I mean I know girls do that, but a guy can tell for crying out loud. You girls just think you're getting away with it."

Tyler and Lauren have wandered into the conversation just in time to catch the general topic and Tyler holds his fist out to Mike in agreement. "Damn right."

Lauren snorts inspecting her short polished nails with a bored look. "Sure, keep telling yourself that." Tyler instantly glares at Lauren and Jasper attempts to cover up a laugh with a fake sounding cough.

Despite the fact this conversation is beyond embarrassing, Rose isn't letting it go. I look around nervously for Jessica , grateful to at least see she isn't anywhere near.

Laughing, Rose throws her head back and utters a throaty low moan quickly followed by a sharp indrawn breath. She leans back against Emmett grabbing his hands and holding them out away from her body obviously showing that he isn't touching her, all while repeating the sound adding in an extra few pants in between.

"Yes," she whimpers. "Oh God, yes, yes, yes, more, don't stop... Right there yes, oh YES Ungghhhh...." she trails of with another louder more compressed moan and even throws in a few body tremors for effect before pretending to collapse back against Emmett in a satiated heap. My mouth has fallen open in complete shock and so has Mike's, Angela's, and Tyler's. Not to mention more than a few curious onlookers. There are more than a few bugs out tonight so I snap my mouth shut quickly. If it wasn't for the fact that I could see her, I wouldn't have known she was faking. My cheeks are beyond hot.

Emmett laughs and pulls her around to face him. "You are a very bad girl..." Jasper abruptly clears his throat loud and harsh enough to make me wince. It effectively curtails Emmett's brain enough to make him remember where we are.

Lauren, still regarding her fingernails with a slightly bored expression, glances up at Rose with a slight smile. "Not bad. A little over done, but not bad. It doesn't necessarily have to be so over the top. Sometimes subtle is better."

Tyler rounds on her angrily and she rolls her eyes at him. "Oh relax. I'm just saying. Just ask..."

Edward suddenly leans forward pushing me slightly to the side without actually letting go of me. "Care to give us a demonstration, Lauren?" he asks with a grin. "Seeing as how you're such an expert?"

Tyler instantly spins around with a particularly juicy curse word and stalks off. Lauren eyes Edward speculatively for a minute and I swear I can see her claws come out. "Why? Does Bella need lessons?" She smiles evilly, obviously proud of her catty comment but Edward just laughs softly knowing his comment has made a deeper mark. Her eyes tighten and she storms off after Tyler.

I sag back against Edward, grateful for his mind reading gift in a way I don't think I ever have before. Obviously he stopped Lauren from outing Jessica . I spin in his arms and press my head to his chest surprised I'm shaking a little. "Thanks." I whisper against him. He brushes an absentminded kiss against my forehead and I look up to see him eyeing Mike speculatively.

"Wow." Mike says quietly. "Poor Tyler, man, that's a kick in the teeth." His brow furrows and Edward sighs sounding defeated. Rose, already bored has wandered off and he looks toward Emmett. Again I see his lips move though I hear nothing. Emmett rolls his eyes. He makes a sound resembling a grunt looking toward Mike.

"Damn good thing us guys have our own arsenal against the dreaded fake, right Mike?"

"Uh, yeah... right." Mike looks at him oddly. He fidgets like he's nervous and I see his eyes dart around like he's looking for someone. Jessica maybe?

"I mean my Rose puts on a good act, but if you do right by your woman you don't have to worry about it. Just gotta be smart." Emmett taps his temple in illustration. "Put her first, pay attention to the cues, take your time, figure out what makes her crazy."

Mike is hanging on every word and so is Tyler. Angela still has her mouth open slightly not yet recovered, though it's obvious by her blush she's listening intently as well.

"Women have a slow burning fire. You have to stoke that fire, build it up little by little. You can't smother it, or rush it, or it'll go out. You can't neglect it either, or expect it to light itself. Isn't going to happen." Leaning back against the car Emmett crosses his legs at the ankle and grins, warming to his audience.

Jasper laughs softly in the back of his throat and trails the backs of his fingers down Alice's cheek. Her eyes seem to turn darker and they move away, quietly disappearing into the shadows in the direction of the Volvo. I briefly wonder if Edward is okay with what's probably going to happen in his car before Emmett begins speaking again, drawing me in like a hypnotist.

"Once you have those flames going, a real man's job isn't over. It's really only just begun because if you really want to please her, you have to make that fire burn hotter than ever before. Again, it's all about paying attention. Knowing when to add more fuel to the flames, knowing when to back off and let those flames burn up what, and how, they want. Knowing exactly where and how to stir up those embers and make them spark. And then..."

Eric is leaning so far off the hood of the Guardian where he'd been sitting he nearly falls off when Emmett quits talking. Mike swallows, his eyes flitting nervously around the group avoiding eyes but obviously judging reactions. When he speaks his voice is just a tiny bit too high.

"And uh...then?" he asks. Clearing his throat immediately after, he repeats it in a more normal tone, trying for nonchalance. "And then?"

Edward pushes my hair off my neck and his fingers trace my ear and the sensitive skin beneath it. His lips brush my forehead and he lowers his head slowly to softly kiss the corner of my mouth, his sweet breath making a sudden ache flare in my core. His lips move to my cheek and then beneath my ear again, making that ache grow. "And then..." he whispers, not phrasing it all like a question and adding a low dark chuckle that clenches every muscle in the lower half of my body.

Emmett grins, pushing off the car with a wink at Edward and I. "And then if you've done it right? If you've paid attention and loved her the way she needs and deserves to be loved? You get to feel those flames burn you alive. Nothing sweeter, boys." His grin grows as Mike swallows and Eric scrambles off the hood of the car. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a fire to tend to." With another small wink he strides away, arms swinging, whistling under his breath and leaving Mike frowning and Angela and Eric squirming.

Edward chuckles again, that same low lethal sound and brushes one last ghost like kiss across my mouth. He pushes away from the car keeping his arm around my waist while he guides me to the passenger door. Angela whispers a soft 'bye Bella' before hurrying away looking flustered and Edward nods at Eric and Mike. "If you'll excuse us gentlemen, the movie's about to start and..." He touches my cheek his eyes burning into mine with an unrestrained focus as though no one else really exists even though he's speaking to two other people. He finishes his sentence in a voice that sounds like velvet and chocolate and pure sex.

"I wouldn't want Bella to miss out."

_To be continued_... ;-)


	21. Chapter 21

A/N Here it is, the end to our three part trip to the Drive In and the lemon you've all waited so patiently for. This is a monstrosity of a chapter at well over 12,000 words, by far the longest chapter I've ever written and quite possibly the lemoniest. (blushes)

Remember this story is rated M for a reason and this chapter is fully earning that rating. Lemon warning is in full effect.

This chapter has not yet recieved the polish and shine of my beta Octoberland. Please excuse any minor errors but feel free to point out any large ones, though I'm hoping you won't find any of those, lol.

* * *

Chapter 21 Fiery Frustrations Part 3

**EPOV**

I can hear Mike Newton's thoughts far too clearly with him in such close proximity to the car. His attempts to assimilate Emmett's words of advice are amusing, but I've had more than enough of him for one night. I'd thrown him a bone by requesting that Emmett follow up Rose's awkward little display of theatrics with something inspiring. Not because I felt any sympathy for his plight. I have little respect for the useless little twerp, and his constant inappropriate fantasies about Bella have done nothing to endear him to me. Bella's dismay however, had been all too clear to read. In fact it still is.

"Couldn't you have stopped her, Edward?" She brushes her hair back, fingers twisting the strands in exasperation.

"I'm sorry, love. Rose isn't exactly easy to sway."

Bella exhales loudly and flops back against the seat, covering her face with her hands and groaning. "Jessica is going to flip if she hears about this, Edward." Her voice is muffled but the distress is clear. "I promised her I wouldn't say a word."

"You didn't. It's hardly your fault Rose and Alice learned of her…problem," I tell her gently, resisting the urge to pull her hands away and draw her into my arms.

Dropping her hands she fixes me with a gimlet glare. "Edward. I hardly think Jessica is going to be consoled by that fact. Nor is she going to understand I can't keep secrets from psychic, mind-reading, empathic vampires with pushy sisters who don't care who they embarrass." Her arms cross tightly over her chest regarding me heatedly. "Were you listening in too?" She puts air quotes around listening in, and I have to fight the urge to laugh. She's much too adorable in her kittenish temper, not to mention sexy. A warm flush covers her cheeks and the urge to kiss her is almost overwhelming. I wonder if the heat of her anger will flavour her sweet, delectable little mouth.

"No. I was not listening in," I soothe. "Jessica's thoughts are not exactly quiet, love."

"So you knew? Even before she told me?"

"The problem has been consuming her mind for some time, yes." I regard her warily, wondering if she'll feel it was something I should have shared with her. Instead her angry expression turns to one of sympathy and she grimaces.

"Ugh. That must have been unpleasant for you."

I chuckle lightly and cannot resist skimming my fingers along the warm pink blush that highlights her cheekbone. "To say the least."

Sighing softly she turns her head and places a soft kiss on the inside of my wrist. The heat of her lips and the moist warmth of her expelled breath send electric pulses of pleasure cascading over my arm. I'm aching for her, instantly reminded of the mood that Emmett's words had created and the prideful rush of pleasure I'd gotten from the knowledge that Bella would never be in the situation Jessica finds herself.

"I do feel a little bad for her though," she whispers, blushing as her eyes turn warm looking into mine. "Do you think…? I mean, can you see in his mind if Mike will?" her blush deepens, "you know? Get…better?"

Letting my finger slide down her jaw line, I tap her chin gently with a small smile. "You do know that Mike isn't the only problem there, don't you?"

"Oh, of course, I mean?" Her words come out like a question and the blush that had begun to fade returns.

"Mike is a child whose mind often dwells in the gutter. There are occasions where I wish I could snap his useless hide like a twig merely to shut off the pornographic imagery he wallows in, but he isn't heartless, Bella." Despite her blush she holds my eyes with an expression of curiosity. I lean closer and brush my mouth over hers reminding myself that he can fantasize all he wants. The reality is all mine. "Jessica has to learn to tell him what she needs as well. It is a two way street."

"Hmm. I did tell her that." Bella smiles and shakes her head. "She freaked. She seems to think if he knew the truth that he'd leave her." Her expression grows concerned again. "Will he?"

"I'm afraid you'll have to ask Alice that question, love. The future is more her domain, but I don't think so. At the moment Mike is much too eager to prove himself."

"Oh. Well that's a good thing, right?" She grimaces and shakes her head with a disgusted laugh. "Yuck. Why are we talking about this?"

"My sentiments exactly, Bella," I tell her, allowing a touch of my exasperation to show in my tone playfully. Taking her hips in my hands I lift her and with a speed that takes her breath away carry her with me into the back seat. I lay her down gently and use my body to press her against the plush leather backrest. Propping myself up on one arm with my hand holding the side of my head, I gaze at her in wonderment. She's so achingly beautiful but as always I struggle with all my conflicting needs and urges. I still do not know how to balance it all, the love and the lust, the need to be close to her in all ways. They pull me in different directions so very much of the time.

My mind flashes back to earlier in the evening. Back to those moments in her room when she'd straddled her legs over my hips and looked at me with need. I'd sensed the power of that need, instinctively known that she wanted me physically, yet also that she was seeking something more than that as well. Her need had been at war with my own. I'd wanted her, I always want her, but my pride had been stung by the knowledge that Mike Newton knew something about her that I did not. It hadn't mattered to me how trivial that something was and I'd felt anger at her for trying to point out that triviality. At the time I'd been certain that she and I were neglecting our emotional relationship in favour of the physical. And yet here, now, I can't help but want her, need her, to the point where I'm tempted to overlook all else in favour of feeling her skin beneath my fingertips. Tasting her flesh beneath my lips, my tongue. Reassuring myself, however needless, that I can and do satisfy her every desire, completely, deeply.

As though she senses my mood she reaches for me, cupping my face and trying to draw me down to her kiss. Laying my other hand against her cheek and allowing my thumb to caress the softness of her lips I groan her name and resist her gentle tug. "Bella. So beautiful, love," I sigh. "So tempting."

"But?" A small flare of hurt flashes in her eyes, filling me with instant regret and more warring emotions.

"No but," I murmur, trying to reassure.

"Then kiss me," she whispers sweetly. "Please."

I groan at the little plea that flares heat over my cold body. "I will," I tell her. "Just let's talk a bit first."

Her eyes grow curious, troubled. "About?"

"About earlier tonight."

She huffs and lets go of me, pushing back against the seat, her eyes flashing now with irritation. "Please tell me this isn't about Mike and that stupid music CD again, Edward." I arch an eyebrow at her tone and she instantly sighs. "Why? Why does it bother you so much? I mean, aside from the obvious fact that you don't like Mike and you have an insane need to spend money on me and I won't let you."

"It isn't about Mike, or about gifts." I tell her, striving to keep my tone of voice gentle. "It's about him knowing something about you that I did not."

Her expression softens further. She places her warm hand once again to my cheek, trailing her fingers oh so softly down to my jaw. "This really bothers you, doesn't it?" She doesn't wait for me to answer. "I'll give it back, okay? I'll give it back and I'll tell him not to give me gifts."

"Bella, this isn't about gifts," I repeat, frustrated with her inability to understand my point. "This is about you, me, and the fact that maybe we aren't spending enough time talking." I emphasize the word talking and her eyes widen slightly.

"Meaning you think we are spending too much time not talking." It's her turn to emphasize and she chooses the word, not. Her tone is odd and her expression is closed making her difficult to read. It isn't until she tries to sit up and pushes away from me that I realize she's once again hurt and clearly misunderstanding.

I let her go, thinking that perhaps it is best right now if we're not in such close physical proximity and watch her scramble awkwardly back to the front seat. I join her, dismayed to see the continued closed expression is now matched by her body language. Her arms are folded over her chest and her legs are crossed tightly at the knee while her entire being radiates hurt feelings and indignation.

"You're taking this the wrong way," I tell her.

"And you're over reacting to a stupid CD," she mutters back.

She's annoying and stubborn and beautiful and hurt, and I'm an idiot. Again the scales won't balance for me and I'm not entirely sure why I cannot pinpoint her mood. It would seem I'm not the only one overreacting here.

"Perhaps you're right. Maybe I am overreacting a bit."

She glances at me surprised. "Angela gave me a movie last week. Remember? The Pretty in Pink one, with Molly Ringwald? You said you didn't know I liked eighties movies, but you weren't mad, not like you are now."

She's right and I sigh. "Bella. It isn't Mike." Her eyebrow goes up again. She isn't sure if she believes that. "Not him personally. Just him in theory."

"I don't understand," she tells me with a shake of her head. A soft wafting of her scent and the light fragrance of her strawberry shampoo mingles around me, soothing my frustration and allowing me to soften my tone with her even more.

"Bella, Mike is human. He can give you a human life. A family, someone to grow old with…a human life," I repeat unnecessarily. I know she understands when her face goes pale. "To me, those things matter. They are the things I would give you if I could."

"Edward…" She crosses the distance between us much quicker than usual and climbs into my lap, straddling me and wedging her body between me and the steering wheel. Her warm hands close around my face while she growls lightly, a fierce kittenish sound that has my body not caring one bit about what my mind wants. "I love you. I want you. I don't care about a human life…"

I catch her gorgeous face in my own hands and growl back at her, not surprised to see her bite her lip at the sound, or by the warm rush of arousal I can smell beginning to grow between us. "I know. And I would spend eternity on my knees in thanks for that if I knew it was required of me, but you have to understand, Bella. I need you to be mine. In all ways. Selfishly mine. I want to be the one who knows you inside and out. Every like, every dislike, every want, every desire, every need, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. I want it all, and I'll be damned if I'll let Mike Newton know something about you that I do not. I have to know that even though I cannot give you a perfect human life that I can still give you happiness. That I can still be everything for you. I _want_ to be everything for you."

There are tears in her eyes when I'm done and I curse softly beneath my breath angry with myself for upsetting her. She leans away from me and reaches down into her bag on the floor, pulling out the very CD we'd been discussing. Placing it in the CD player she turns off the sound of the movie that neither one of us has been paying any attention to and scans through the songs, quickly choosing one before turning back to face me. The music has a rock beat, fast paced and slightly frenzied. The lead singer's voice is high pitched in contrast to the heavy throb of a deeper base.

"Mike and I would put this song on at the end of the day when we were closing the store and his parents weren't there." Her eyes beseech me to just listen, so I do. "It made a boring job of clean up and restocking shelves tolerable. Mike would usually grab a broom and start dancing around." She smiles and shakes her head. "He has absolutely no rhythm, he's even worse than I am at dancing, but it was funny. I told him that when he's not being an ass and hitting on me, he's actually a good guy, a decent friend." Again her eyes plead so I nod, knowing she's right. Mike is an ass, but not a bad person. "He made me laugh. That's all. And when he went back in the storage room I kept losing count of the money in the float I was trying to balance." Her hands close around my face again, urging me to look at her though there isn't anywhere else I ever want to look. "Because I was thinking about _you_. I was wondering if after we're married, after you've changed me, if maybe, just maybe, you might be able to let go of all this weight and guilt and pain you carry and just be silly with me. I was hoping maybe I'd get to see you dance around with a broom, Edward, because you are everything to me and I just want to see you happy."

I attempt to tell her that I am happy, but her fingers cover my mouth with one hand while she reaches back with the other and changes the song. The same rock beat once again spills from the speakers. This time though, the song is a bit slower, with the singer switching to a more crooning tone

"And this song? This one reminds me of the first time I saw you. You looked at me like you hated me. You didn't even know me and it drove me crazy, though I didn't understand why it bothered me so much at the time. I'm still not sure. All I know is that I had to get you to look at me differently. I had to get you to look at me like you loved me." Her voice is full of sadness and love. She shakes her head at me again when I try to talk, switching to yet another new song. "And this one," she sighs, closing her eyes and smiling as the music fills the car. "This one makes me feel the same way I felt the day you finally did look at me like you loved me." She reaches behind her again, another slower song, less loving and more sensual oozes from the speakers. The singer's voice is huskier now, with a plaintive quality that I cannot deny is appealing. The beat is seductive, like a heartbeat, like Bella's heartbeat. She closes her eyes, listening. Her hands fall to my shoulders and I feel her tremble slightly as she exhales. I don't need her to tell me what she thinks about when she hears this song. It's written all over her face and in that tremor, but I ask anyway, needing to hear her say it.

"And this one, Bella? What does this one remind you of?"

Her eyes open slowly and she blushes, her voice dropping to a quiet murmur. "You. It makes me think of you and the way it feels when you touch me, Edward." She wets her lips with her tongue and nearly kills me with a sigh. She reaches back and turns off the CD her expression turning serious. "You are everything to me, Edward. Every song, every moment of my life now is about you, don't you know that?

In my arrogance I think I know all there is to know, yet in one moment she proves me wrong and humbles me completely. "Yes. I know that," I tell her, brushing her hair from her face and realizing the truth. Mike will never know Bella the way I do. Just as no one will ever know me the way she does.

She smiles. "Good." Biting her lip she shifts her weight and I barely resist the urge to groan at the warmth and softness of her bottom pressing against me. "So... Do you want to talk some more, or...?"

I return us to the back seat before she can complete the question, swallowing her soft gasp of surprise with a kiss, keeping her in my lap. She laughs softly.

"I guess that would be a no to the talking."

"Hm. I believe the Drive In might be better suited to other activities."

"Such as?" she asks playfully. She traces my lips with the tip of her finger, the warmth of her touch intoxicating.

Touching the tip of my tongue to one of her fingers makes her shiver as her eyes darken. She has the most expressive eyes. Eyes that speak to me in the same way her body does, letting me know what she wants, what she needs. I'm instantly filled with desire, wanting her, aching for her. "Such as," I murmur, moving my body until it hovers over hers and I can lay her on the seat. My movements stop as do my words, and I curse softly and return her to my lap. "Emmett."

Bella's eyes widen and I shrug apologetically as Emmett pounds on the window a mere split second later. She blushes and instantly begins squirming to move. I wrap one arm around her so that she can't get away, unwilling to let her go for an even an instant now.

"Edward, come on. Button up, cover up, do what you gotta do man, but open the window. Hurry up."

Sighing and striving for patience I lower the window and hold out my hand. Emmett shoves a new tray into it laden with more concession stand items. Not content with my acceptance of the food he shoves his head inside the small space with a grin.

"I got you some more stuff, Bella, seeing as how Rose gave away everything else. Did you want me to see if I can get them to make you some pancakes?"

"Emmett," I growl warningly, which of course he ignores. I can't believe he's starting this again.

"Edward didn't want me to try and bribe the goobers at the stand, but I don't see why they can't make pancakes..."

"No, that's okay, Emmett. I'm good. Thanks." Bella rushes her words shaking her head at him and still managing to sound appreciative.

"Okay. Just tell me if you change your mind."

"Uh, okay. I will."

Emmett pats the hood of the car and admonishes us not to do anything he wouldn't do with a laugh. I shut out his grin by closing the window.

Bella laughs softly, resting her forehead against mine. "Do you get the impression we just aren't going to get any peace tonight?"

I growl my frustration and she smiles. "I think you may be right," I reply, unable to fully keep the irritation out of my tone.

Her eyes suddenly turn serious as she pulls back. "Can we leave, please?" Soft pink shades her ivory skin in the hues of spring roses. "I just want to be alone with you."

She utters my own thoughts perfectly. "Likewise," I tell her, pressing a kiss upon her soft mouth, resisting the temptation to deepen it in favour of getting us somewhere private as quickly as possible. She takes the tray containing the snacks and slips out the door and I follow her rather than climb back into the front.

**BPOV**

Edward doesn't waste any time driving us away from the Drive In. I'm not sure if it's because he's as eager to be alone as I am, or if he's just in a hurry to get away from all the voices that must have been invading his head. Especially Mike's.

I watch the way he so capably handles getting the car out of the tight space in between all the others, and feel darts of heat race up and down my spine. His hands are so strong, the fingers deceptively elegant and incredibly wicked. His talent for touching me in all the right places with those same fingers is undeniable and completely arousing. I feel a warm rush of heat between my legs and wonder what is wrong with me. All day this need has been simmering beneath the surface and I don't think I can keep it in much longer.

I should at the very least feel bad over everything that had happened tonight. Worried about Jessica, guilty over abandoning Alice. I should feel bad about the ridiculous amount of money Emmett had spent on snacks I won't eat, or the fact that Edward had shelled out money for movies we aren't watching. At the very worst I should feel guilty for my constant need to push Edward past every boundary he tries to erect. I know how hard it is for him to control his dual sided nature, that he still burns in ways I can't imagine whenever we get too close. I know that the effort to control his otherworldly strength takes a restraint and determination and focus that must terrify him, even as it both thrills me and fills me with guilt for how I make him suffer. Instead, all I feel is a near desperate desire to rip off my clothes and climb all over him. I wonder if his incredible powers of concentration and multi-tasking would be up to driving the car without getting us killed if I was to reach out and unbutton his pants. Put my mouth on him. Not that he'd let me, but I wonder...

Another rush of heat dampens the fabric of my panties, intensifying the ache. Edward's nostrils flare, his eyes snapping to me with a groan. He looks back at the road and the car seems to surge forward. A part of me wants to look at the speedometer. The engine purrs and this isn't the kind of vehicle that allows you to feel speed. Instead it envelopes you in plush leather and cocoons you in a heavy frame of safety that makes it seem as though the car is floating over the road no matter how fast it's going. The other part of me doesn't care as long as it means he can shave precious minutes off the time I have to wait for him to touch me.

"You're killing me, Bella."

His voice seems rough and velvet smooth all at once only making the dampness between my legs grow. "I'm sorry," I mutter, rubbing my suddenly moist palms against my jeans. He catches one of my hands with his and growls once before drawing it to his mouth. One icy lick on the flesh and I moan. I should be disgusted. I should yank my hand away and wonder why on earth he'd do such a thing, but his eyes are holding mine and, dear God, they're so dark. He looks dangerous, angry, and hungry. My heart kicks into overdrive and a fresh rush of cream turns my panties into a sodden mess. I rub my thighs together in a desperate effort to relieve some of the ache and he watches me intently.

God. He should be watching the road. I should care that he seems to be driving by feel alone, but I don't. I know he won't crash. I know he's just as aware of the road on many levels as he is of me in this moment and it just excites me more that he throws human actions away so that he can look at me.

"Touch yourself for me, love."

My heart stutters in my chest, skipping beats and rhythm in favour of an epileptic style seizure. "What?"

"You heard me," he replies in a voice drenched in darkness and demand. "Touch yourself."

A hot flush of blood infuses my face even as it infuses other areas as well. I've never really done that. Until Edward sex and lust and desire were just concepts I intellectually understood but had never experienced. And after him? Well we spent so little time apart. Even at night he stayed with me in my bed, waited for me only a few feet from the bathroom when I showered. Of course I'd placed my hand there, in those brief moments in the warmth and the water. Cupped the heat I found and let the touch fire up nerves I barely knew. But always my heart would start to race, and guilt and worry that Edward might hear something and somehow know what I was doing would rear its head and I'd instantly stop.

Continuing to ignore the road he watches me with a dark intensity he so rarely lets me see. My skin feels tight and hot, stretched too thin over my bones. My face is an open book, one he's very good at reading. He must see that his demand is making me uncomfortable. There is a part of me that is also oddly excited by the idea of him watching me that way, and I know he knows that as well.

His next sentence has me questioning if he truly can't read my mind. "I want to watch you, Bella." He releases my hand and places it on my thigh. "I know you're aching. I can smell how wet you are for me. Touch yourself." His tone is still equal parts rough and smooth, only now there is no denying the element of demand. This isn't a request. "Now, Bella."

Shifting in the seat, I let my fingers skim up my thigh and rest at the juncture between my legs. Even through the heavy denim I can feel my heat radiating outwards to my palm. It's almost shocking.

"Yes," he growls, the sound full of approval. Biting my lip I let my fingers move slowly up and down the heavy seam of my jeans. I'm so hot I can't help but press my thumb against the place where it feels the best, rock my hips against it. Squeezing my thighs together around my hand has me gasping. One quick uninhibited pant escapes my mouth and he growls louder.

"Undo the snap and zipper," he instructs softly, his voice still ringing with unmistakable command. "Slide them off. I want to see you."

"Here? I can't, Edward, what if...?"

"No one can see us, Bella. The windows are heavily tinted and no one is around anyway."

I realize he's right. I haven't been paying attention but a quick look out the window assures me that wherever we are, wherever we're headed, it isn't anywhere we'll find people. The street lights are sporadic at best, no houses in sight anywhere. Just trees and a winding road going who knows where.

Biting my lip hard I struggle with what my body wants and the embarrassment of doing something like this. It's the heat and desire I see in his eyes that makes me suddenly and inexplicably brave. I slip the jeans off slowly, watching those same eyes grow darker. He gives the road only cursory glances and never once does the car waver off the perfect center of the driving lane he's on.

Edward groans when I'm left in only my light summer top and panties. His hand moves to my thigh and he strokes my skin softly. Oh so softly. Each cool finger ignites its own trail of heat and sensation. Writhing slightly I moan. I want so much for him to touch me it's insane. I think I can't possibly get any wetter and then I am.

Instead of touching me he takes my hand again and moves it between my legs. His sudden exhale at the sight is unexpected and hard in the quiet car. My heart beats harder and his nostrils flare again. Though whether it's the smell of my blood racing through my veins or the new rush of hot liquid pooling between my legs he's drawing in, I can't tell. Both maybe.

"God, Bella," he groans deeply. "So beautiful." Releasing my hand he places his over the growing bulge of his own sex, adjusting himself in obvious need. I nearly come though my hand isn't moving at all.

"Edward." I moan his name in embarrassment and heat. I'm so conflicted.

"Do you see what you do to me, love?" He asks the question gently with an undertone of veiled need. "You think you're the only one who feels this, but you are so very wrong, my angel."

"Edward, please..." I don't know what I'm begging for. More reassurance, more encouragement perhaps. Him to touch me, most definitely, though I can tell he isn't going to, not yet anyway. The heat and ache under my hand is nearly painful. I'm so swollen, so very wet it seems wrong and right and, oh God. I need to come or I'm going to combust. Everything in me is drawn so tight. The sensual vibration of the car, the dark midnight heat of his stare, the way he's begun to stroke himself, slowly, almost negligibly. It's all too much and my fingers start to move. I don't know how to touch myself, but I find I don't need to know. My mind and my body and my arm and hand all find harmony and it just happens. My hips join the movement, pushing me up off the buttery leather seat and into my hand, perfecting the pressure.

Oh. It's so right and so wrong all at once. I feel more heat scorch my face as I remember whose car I am being so wicked in. The thought isn't one I can hold onto. Not when my fingers find the swollen bit that sends sensations spiralling all over my body.

"Put your hand inside your panties, Bella. Touch your skin. Tell me how wet you are; how hot you are..."

"Edward, ungh, I..." I follow his instructions almost unthinkingly. I need release, have to have it, no matter how, I have to...

**EPOV**

I've stopped the car. Pulled it onto the dead end road that used to lead to an automobile plant long since closed and demolished, though Bella doesn't seem to notice. Her eyes are closed, her head thrown back, the perfect sculptured curve of her throat arched so dangerously. The monster inside notices, but he's just as willing to ignore the lure of her blood in favour of the siren call of her body as I am. I'm fixated instead on the perfect delicate movement of the hand she's buried at my request beneath those sinful black panties with their tiny pink bow. The fabric creates a soft whisper that melds perfectly with the sounds her fingers make moving over her hot, wet, silken sex.

She's close. Her heartbeat is accelerated, her breathing shallow and panting. I can see the tension in her, climbing, climbing. She's so beautiful, so exquisitely perfect and ripe. I ache to touch her but keep my hands to myself. I want this too much to change a thing, the sinful eroticism of watching her this way beyond arousing.

"Yes, that's it. Good girl, just like that," I croon to her in encouragement when I see her fingers find a point of focus on her tender clitoris. I know how swollen she'll feel there, how soft yet firm, like a ripe berry bursting on a vine, slippery and resilient. The pads of my fingers ache, finding the cold rough denim covered bulge they rub to be a poor substitute for her delicate delight. Venom engorges my erection to the point that even my slow manipulation threatens to have me climaxing in my pants.

She whimpers my name and her fingers falter. It would be so easy, so wonderful to replace them with my own, but I don't. Instead I growl her name. "Don't stop, love. Don't you dare stop. I will be very upset if you do."

"Please..."

"Faster, Bella. Move your hand faster. Yes. Like that. You're soaked, aren't you?"

"Yes... Oh. I need... I have to..."

With a low growl, unable to resist, I cover her hand with my own on the outside of her panties. The fabric feels almost rough in comparison to what I know lies beneath. I begin to guide her movements, knowing in this instance I know even better than she might what she likes, what she needs.

"More," I groan, her scent filling my nostrils, my lungs until I'm so aroused it's painful. "Yes, like that." Her body is taking over, her heart racing faster and faster.

"Edward. I need you..."

"And you will have me, love, always."

"Now. Oh... I need you... now..."

"Not yet, my sweet girl. I want to watch you come. I want to taste your sweetness on your fingers. Let go, Bella. For me, let go..." Her hips lift higher off the seat and her breath catches in her throat while her other hand clenches around my arm. Her climax overtakes her, sending a deep blush of the purest pink cascading over her throat and down beneath the collar of her shirt. Even through the cotton fabric and the lace cups of her bra I can see her nipples tighten into hard points. Beneath my hand I can feel the flex and curl of her hand and the heat and wetness that further dampen her skin and panties.

She comes down slowly. Gently I lift her until I am beneath her and she is straddling my lap. I know she's about to be overcome by nerves and embarrassment so I pull her close and kiss her deeply, relishing the sweet taste of her satiation in her mouth. Warm and pliant she settles against me with a soft sigh. Taking the hand she'd used to pleasure herself I place each of her fingers in my mouth one by one until not one drop of her sweet honeyed flavour is left to taste. Her hot blush is matched by the rising temperature of her body and the warm sounding rush of blood that moves faster through her veins as she watches me. When I'm done, I draw her mouth to mine and kiss her deeply, hungrily, swallowing her little moan of surprise and delight, greedy as always for her responses.

Pulling her even closer and aligning our bodies so she can feel the very present proof of how I feel about what she'd just given me, I break our kiss and press my lips to the still unsteady pulse in her neck. A delicate shiver of reaction lets me know she may have achieved a climax, but she's no more satisfied than I am.

Shifting her weight she presses forward against me, rubbing her damp panties over my aching length.

"Bella, love, you're going to drive me insane," I groan warningly. She presses her lips to my cheek and her hands find the buttons of my shirt, working them open slowly. My own hands find the hem of her shirt and she draws back just enough to allow me to lift it up and off. The snap of her bra is so delicate. Somehow I manage to undo it without having it destroyed, tossing it away with little regard to where it may land.

Our mouths meet again, greedy little kisses that test my will power in ways too dangerous to contemplate. Luckily for me she obeys the rules, even when I do not. My tongue invades the sweet recesses of her mouth, only a very small part of me measuring the amount of venom I can safely allow her to ingest. Moans turn to whimpers as my taste floods her palate and she greedily clenches her hands in my hair. If I were human her tugging would be painful, but I feel it as nothing more than the softest caress. Her hips rock against mine, over and over; the soaked through crotch of her panties bunching to the side so that her tender wet flesh is bared and pressed with increasing urgency into and over my erection. The denim of my pants grows damp beneath her liquid heat and the smell of her desire floods every last one of my senses so that I feel intoxicated.

I should stop her now, before the friction becomes painful for her, but she's swollen and plush and heated, and so close to another climax it makes me greedy. Instead I shift and lift, angling my body better for her use, increasing the pressure so she cries out. Running one hand down her back and under her panties, I cup the smooth skin of her bottom and help her move faster over me. I use the other to bury beneath the thick cool length of her hair at the nape of her neck. One quick tug and her head falls back tilting her lovely breasts up for my mouth, her breath and her heartbeat pulsing the sweet pink tips of her nipples against my tongue. The taste of her skin is like nothing I've ever experienced and the feel of her rubbing against me is unbelievably good. God, so good. So hot. So sweet. It takes every ounce of my willpower not to allow her movements to undo me.

Drawing my lips firmly over my teeth I take one tender peak into my mouth and suckle her the way an infant would. The added almost forbidden sensations send her over the edge with a strangled cry she buries in the top of my head.

Once again she comes down slowly, aftershocks making her tremble as I place a line of kisses from the tips of each lovely little breast up to her jaw. I wait for her to catch her breath before finding her mouth.

"God, love. You wreck me," I whisper against her lips. I feel them curving into a smile while she shakes her head slowly.

"The only one getting wrecked here would be me, Edward." She pulls back so that she can look at me and the ache that occurs at the sight of her flushed skin and swollen mouth parallels itself in the ache of my erection. "So, I think we need to fix that," she murmurs. The touch of her hands on the bare skin of my chest is warm and electric. She grazes my nipples with the tips of her thumbs and presses a warm kiss to my cold neck.

I can feel a blush ignite in her cheeks when she reaches between us and touches the now wet fabric over my erection. "I got you all wet," she whispers. Her pulse skips and scurries, and I hear her swallow. The soft pink of her tongue wets her mouth and I instinctively know that she likes that she's marked me. That it excites her.

"I'm never washing these jeans," I tell her with a small wicked smirk. "I want to be able to smell you on them, to remember exactly how you looked and felt in my arms, moving on me." Dipping my head beneath her chin I lick her once again rapidly beating pulse with a low growl, dropping my voice to a husky whisper. "Coming on me." I flick the soft flesh of her ear lobe with my tongue and she shivers in reaction, her hot little hand suddenly clenching around the damp fabric still encasing my very obvious arousal.

She shivers at my words, one of those delicate tremors that have nothing to do with how cold I am and everything to do with how hot she is. Such an insatiable little thing she is. My erection throbs in approval at her touch, and at that thought. As though the silent heart in my chest has somehow taken up residence there, infused with a new life all its own, thrilled by her sensuality and responsiveness. Bella is the embodiment of every sexual fantasy I never dared contemplate, and every step in our growing intimacy shows me more and more that what exists between us is perfect and right.

Yet not even that knowledge can stop the fear that overcomes me as her small, warm hand strokes me. The action renders the bonds of restraint I must always keep under my control weak and useless.

With a grunt and hiss I remove my hands from her body quickly, no longer trusting my ability to control my strength. I know it thrills her to touch me, but giving up control and allowing her to do so tests me in every dark horrific way imaginable. Realizing there is no safe place to put my hands lest they tear Bella's new car to shreds before I even have the chance to give it to her, I curl them into fists beside my thighs. It isn't enough. Especially not when she tightens her hand around me and strokes upwards. A slick rush of venomous pre cum further saturates the wet material that transfers her heat down into my engorged shaft like a conduit.

I want to grab her, tear the flimsy cotton of her little black panties from her body and push her upwards so that her hands must brace against the roof of the car. I want to put my mouth on her hot, wet, velvet sex and lick her until she writhes and pants and screams, use my hands to push her thighs open so wide nothing of her secret place will be hidden. I want to press my thumbs to the cheeks of her succulent ass and separate the halves, press a finger deep inside and stroke her in forbidden ways that would make her blush and come harder than she ever has before. When her heart is throbbing in post orgasmic bliss, I want to lick the flesh that lays over her femoral artery, then pull her down and impale her hard and without mercy. Bury myself in her so deep, so deep, so deep. Thrust in and out again and again. Place one hand over her beating racing heart, and the other between her legs to pinch her swollen little clitoris and pump it off the way her body is pumping over mine. Press my mouth to the delicious thumping in her carotid artery. Suck on the delicate ivory tissue of her throat so I can feel the earthy pulse against my tongue. Tasting the fabric of her humanity while she comes again and again around my relentless thrusts, her spasms milking me into ecstasy, draining me dry...

No! Every action I ache for would mean pain for her, not pleasure. The abandonment in my fantasy has no room for the extreme amount of control I need to handle Bella in ways that won't harm her, and the reality paints pictures in my mind. Pictures dark and vivid of Bella broken and bloodied, firing a second lust much more potent that instantly creates a new image in my mind. Bella, still and quiet and empty of the life I treasure beyond my own dark excuse of one.

I reach for her hand only to be surprised that she's already moved it away. So consumed in my rampant lustful fantasizing I'd never even noticed the movement, one more marker of just how dangerously lost I had become.

Realizing my eyes are shut tight I keep them that way and even cease to breathe. I can hear Bella's heart, fast yet steady. Hear the soft rush of her breathing, equally fast, yet equally steady. The weight of her a tiny force on my thighs, the heat of her skin, all sensations that ground me even as they torture. I am still achingly hard.

No doubt sensing my mood she stays very still and after awhile I find my restraint. I look upon her expecting disappointment and fear in her expression and finding none at all. Instead she looks back at me calmly, soft dark eyes full of nothing but love and patience.

Swallowing the venom that has pooled in my mouth I groan, knowing I need to stop this, hating that I need to stop this, that I cannot be all that she needs me to be. I test the edges of my frayed control and wonder if I have enough to at least hold her, possibly even love her just a little more if I make it clear she mustn't touch me. Not that I think she'll allow that. Bella is nothing if not stubborn in her attempts to provide equal reciprocation. She fails to understand that my greatest pleasure comes not from what I receive, but from what I can give her.

Bella rests her fingers over my lips before I can utter a word and shakes her head as though she is the mind reader. "It's your turn," she murmurs softly. Struggling to comprehend her meaning, she smiles slowly at me. My throat is decimated by the venom I've swallowed, the burn of my lust comingling with my dark urges, and the floral perfume of her blood. She sees my incomprehension and smiles more, a soft hint of something mischievous sparkling in her eyes. "Fair is fair, Edward. I let you watch me after all. Now it's your turn."

She leans in closer, her warm hands gentle and hesitant rest against my chest, undemanding and careful. Her expression stays slightly playful, but I can see the concern and love just beneath. Her lips ghost gently over mine, chaste yet seductive all at once. "My turn to watch," she whispers. "Touch yourself for me, Edward. Let me see you."

**BPOV**

I can see he's reached a limit. I'm not entirely sure what pushed him over, but I suspect it might have been my bold touch. For Edward giving pleasure is so much easier than receiving. Just another way our relationship stays always unbalanced. My heart hurts for a moment and then I remind myself that soon he won't need to be so worried. Soon I will be unbreakable and the one who will have to be careful is me. He'll be able to give in to whatever primal urges he has to fight right now. And the strongest primal urge? Well that one won't exist at all anymore. My blood will be gone. I ignore the tiny dart of fear that clenches my stomach at that thought. Not the thought of my change, but the worry I can't quite shake that without the lure of my blood he might see me through different eyes. Eyes that might find me lacking, boring...

I push the thought away and focus on right now. I know if I don't find a way to draw Edward out of his fears and back into this moment with me it will be a step back for us. I know him in some ways better than he knows himself. I know how he'll beat himself up for this; torture himself into a ball of angst that sees any failure as a reason to call an end to us practicing. Even worse than that I know he'll blame himself instead of doing what I really want him to do. Learn to trust himself.

His eyes watch me intently, his expression guarded as I challenge him. He's still hard. Vampires don't feel pain, but I doubt that he's comfortable. In fact, I'm nearly positive that one wrong move and the heavy jean fabric covering him will rip like tissue paper from the force his body is putting it under.

I kiss him carefully. Letting him know with my slow actions I won't do anything he doesn't want. That I'll behave, play by his rules.

"If you say no, I won't be happy," I whisper teasingly, using his words against him.

He groans. "Bella..."

I can hear the warning in his tone but I can also hear the need. "Please, Edward?" I beg, flicking my tongue gently over the corner of his mouth. "Please."

He groans again, although this time it sounds more like need and less like a warning. His hand reaches down between us and covers his erection, once again resuming the slow lazy movements he'd produced while watching me.

I moan softly at the sight, letting him see hear how it affects me, knowing the sweet rush of heat between my legs will let him know even better.

"You've seen me do this before, Bella."

It's true I have, but only briefly. "Not really, not the way I wanted to see." His hand moves a tiny bit faster. It isn't enough. "For real, Edward. Show me for real." My fingers move from their resting place on his shoulders down to the button of his jeans. His jaw snaps shut and his eyes darken dangerously, followed by a hissing exhale. Quickly I move my hands back and digging my knees into the seat I sit up and move back farther on his thighs. Taking the hand he has fisted at his side I guide it up to my hip surprised when he doesn't fight me, desperate to find a way to distract him. I curl his fingers around the small bit of fabric that covers it and tug gently. "Take them off," I request, unable to keep the little pant that escapes my mouth from turning into a soft moan.

There is only a small amount of light in the car coming from the dashboard controls and the single street light behind us. Despite that I can still see him well enough to know he wants to.

"Please." I know he can't resist when I ask for something and this is no different. He begins to work them down my thighs but I shake my head. "It's too hard. Tear them."

"Bella. Christ." The curse sends more heat between my legs and the fabric rips neatly and effortlessly under his touch. The panties fall away and I take my hand and place it gently back between my legs, hoping, praying it won't be too much. Not enough to test his control, just enough to make him forget, to make him ache at least a little bit so he'll forget his worry and give in. I'm so swollen, so sensitive I cannot help but gasp. My fingers feel cold, not as cold or as good as his, but so much better than when they'd been warm.

"Do you want me to stop?" I ask him gently, letting my fingers find where I am the wettest, dipping one inside just a little bit...

"No." His response is a deep growl and finally he gives in. One hand tears open his jeans and the other reaches inside. I can see how my wetness had seeped straight down onto his dark gray boxer briefs before he pushes them down and bares himself completely.

He's beyond hard, the smooth tight drum of the head of his erection glistening with clear fluid. I want to touch him so badly it hurts. Instead I let my finger dip deeper, finding the heat inside shocking against the cool skin of my hand.

"Don't stop," he groans, watching me with dark hungry eyes. "Deeper, Bella. Curl your finger to the front of your body."

I do as he says, fascinated more with the way he grips his sex than with the spike of pleasure that happens when I follow his instructions. His hand moves slowly at first and then faster. Working from the base to the tip, his thumb coming over the top, taking the moisture and rubbing it down the thick root below. He's beautiful. Beyond beautiful and my body races ahead despite my inexperienced, lacking touch.

Groaning he strokes faster, continuing to guide my hand with naughty instructions I barely hear over my ragged breathing and the distraction of that incredibly strong hand working over his erection. The hand he isn't using curls around his thigh, fingers gouging into fabric that tears beneath the force. The sight of that strength sends me higher, but it isn't enough to find relief from the almost painful tension that makes my legs tremble.

Edward's breathing grows ragged as I moan his name. When his head falls back pressing against the seat, I lose the ability to function, my hand stilling over my aching center, lost in the sight of him letting go. His eyes close and his hips rise, pushing me up as though I weigh nothing at all. He groans loudly, a deep sound that bears little resemblance to my name, though I'm positive it is said. His jaw clenches, the stone muscles of his abdomen clenching even harder and with a hiss he comes, spilling over his beautiful pale skin, the taut iron hard clench of his own fisted hand. The cold liquid is clear and glistening, almost iridescent in the pale wash of weak yellow street lamp and neon blue dashboard controls.

As he orgasms, his breathing stops with a low growl, his head turns to the side. The sound of his razor sharp teeth grinding together blends with the sound of ripping denim as his jeans tear under the force of his hand, and possibly the straining of his rock hard thigh. The tear resembles a perfect line running from inner seam to outer seam. I have an insane urge to slip to my knees in front of the seat and lick the skin I can see exposed in that gap of torn fabric. I have an even more insane one that aches to know what his pleasure tastes like. I resist both urges and clench my own thighs with both hands not even feeling any pain though I know I might leave bruises.

Edward keeps his eyes closed even when he settles back into the seat. He begins to breathe again, slowly, tentatively. I can see the tension slowly slipping away and he's so incredibly beautiful in this after moment it hurts. The unfulfilled ache between my legs feels like its own heartbeat, a tiny throb deep inside that radiates outward and makes that swollen little nub at the top quiver. I don't think I've ever felt more turned on in my life. It's nearly painful, and yet at the same time I'm filled with a self satisfactory glow.

Edward let me see him letting go completely. For a moment he stopped thinking, stopped worrying, and just gave in to what his body needed. I would love to be the one touching him in that moment, using my hand or my mouth to take him there, but this is enough for now, more than enough for now.

When his eyes open I instantly see them dart over me, taking inventory, making sure I'm fine. His eyes are still dark and burning. Unable to help myself I touch my fingers to his where he still clasps himself tightly. The spilled liquid is cold as I'd known it would be, silky and glistening.

"I want to taste you," I whisper to him, feeling the throbbing unsatisfied ache between my legs growing even more. Edward shakes his head at me once, capturing my hand before I can raise it to my lips. A shudder works its way over him and tells me his refusal has everything to do with his fear for my safety and nothing to do with what he wants.

Biting my lip I try to stifle the frustrated little whimper that wants to escape and fail. In a blur that can't take more than a half second I'm in the back seat, the cool leather against my back, Edward's twice as cool body hovering over me. He's naked, and clean, and I'm dizzy.

Closing my eyes I groan. "A little warning next time for the human, okay? I'm not great with warp speed."

A small laugh purrs from his throat while he kisses my neck and collarbones. After he's given me a moment to gain back my equilibrium he raises his head and regards me gently, finally taking time to address my desire to taste him. "Bella, love, you know I want to give you everything I can. I understand your curiosity, your desire to taste me, but I don't know what is safe for you. We're walking unknown territory here, love. I know you can ingest some venom safely, it happens each time we kiss, but the unknown... The venom would be so much more potent..."

"It's okay," I assure him quickly, cupping his face between my hands. "I got carried away, that's all. I know it might not be safe, I understand." Blushing I force myself to keep looking at him. "I just wanted you to know, that I do."

Groaning softly he pulls me closer, arching my back. "Put your legs around me, Bella." I do as he asks and he aligns our bodies perfectly. For a second, as always, the ache to have him fully inside of me rears its head, screams its presence. I know he feels it as well because he stills against me and groans again. Then just like always our promise to wait comes back into our conscious minds and he begins to move. The intimacy of that movement, the perfect balance between wanting more but not needing more brings tears to my eyes. My breath leaves me in a rush and his lips find mine, kisses interspersed with soft love words, letting me know how good I feel, how much he loves being this close to me.

Our skin glides together, his cool and dry, mine warm and damp, belly against belly so I can feel the flex of his abdomen perfecting the arch of his hips. My thighs clenching around his stone waist, the impossibly smooth skin of his chest rubbing against my breasts, adding to the sweet ache growing, growing, growing between my legs where he presses his sex to mine.

He moves faster without me needing to ask and I gasp his name, scrape my nails against his back in abandon. I'm close, so close.

"Yes, love, my love, my life, yes, yes, yes..." His chant is a silky cool whisper in my ear, on my neck, over my lips, urging me on, demanding and accepting and cherishing and wanton.

I fall over the edge knowing he's right there with me, the cool spill of his release adding to the effortless glide of our bodies, taking us both over. He doesn't stop, only slows his movements for a few brief moments to allow me to catch my breath before driving us both back to the peak. For a long time we seem to stay at the edge. His cool breath mingling with my heated exhalations neither one of us wanting to let go this final time. Not yet, not yet, not yet...

**EPOV**

The feel of her, the rush I get from the way our body's move, the control I must exert to stay slow, stay gentle, all of it is singularly perfect. I can feel her hanging on, poised on the very edge of her climax just as I am. With a deep growl I manage to hold on, to give her what I finally understand she's been seeking all day. Not just sexual release, though of course that pure pleasure is undeniable and all a part of the whole.

I slide one hand beneath her body, finding the sensual dip in the small of her back that is covered with the softest skin. The other I place against her cheek, sweeping my thumb over the kiss swollen pink of her bottom lip, letting the warm moist humid rush of her breath ghost over my hard skin. The feeling of our bodies moving in perfect synchrony fills me with aching tenderness.

"Edward."

Just my name, yet I hear everything. She trembles, her eyes opening, holding mine in her heated gaze. I hear so much more than everything.

"You," she whispers in a voice soaked in passion and love. "You, always you."

"Mine," I growl, pressing my lips to hers gently, sweeping them back and forth in a tender rush, giving her the sweetness of my breath, taking her pleasure higher, wanting, needing to give her everything, all of me, always... "You are mine, my beautiful little love, mine, always."

This is what she's wanted, what I so carelessly thought to deny her with my jealousy and fear. So simple, so necessary, so perfect. To forget everything else but us, to just get lost in each other until nothing exists outside of this moment. To belong to each other.

"Yes," she breathes. A soft whispering sigh of agreement that resonates throughout her entire body. I feel it all over her, in the melting of her limbs against mine and in the sweet rush of liquid heat as her body turns molten around the hardness of mine. Her submission is delicious, thrilling me in ways that make me harder than I have ever been before.

"Yes."

"Edward, oh." She trembles harder, perfect silken thighs quivering against my hips.

"Not yet," I tell her, my voice a dark growl against her ear.

"Please..."

I center my movements until I'm hitting her swollen little clit in perfect back and forth strokes too slow to send her over. Her back arches and I growl her name, tell her how incredible she feels against me, how much she pleases me. My body aches with the need to move faster, to send us both over the edge. Not yet, not yet...

I lose all sense of time. Bella melts against me and nothing exists for her and I but this. The sound of our body's moving, straining in incomplete yet somehow still perfect connection. Her soft cries, the perfume of her skin, her sweat, the hot honey sweet musk of her arousal overlaid with the deeper musk of my own.

She cries out my name and I know she cannot wait any longer. "Now, love. Come with me now." I urge, pressing against her harder, moving faster and faster, though it's only the tiniest fraction of the speed and force I am capable of it's more than enough, it's perfect, so perfect... Being careful with her fragility is a turn on I'd never imagined, restraint a stunning aphrodisiac.

Everything I've known about pleasure is a mockery of this. This feeling that takes over fills me with heat and light, lost in her silky skin and hot clenching limbs that I allow to pull me closer. Her cries are so sweet, so perfectly illustrative of the pleasure she takes, the perfect counterpoint to the pleasure she gives as her hips move of their own accord finishing me long after I've lost the ability to trust my own movements.

Panting in my ear, she whispers my name, breathless, spent, and sated. It is the sweetest sound I have ever heard.

**BPOV**

I have no idea what time it is. The night is fading, black giving way to gray. I shift against Edward and he adjusts the blanket around my back. His skin is warmer where we've been pressed together for hours but the chill has still managed to creep in anyway. We've lain like this together, talking, kissing, touching in what felt like slow motion for a long time. I'm thirsty and tired and my back is beginning to ache, though I couldn't care less about any of it.

"I wish we could stay here forever." I share my thoughts without filters and he smiles.

"That may become tiresome after awhile. At least for you." His fingers brush the shadows that are no doubt becoming present under my eyes making me scowl in mock reproach.

"Always so practical," I mutter. His smile turns to a laugh as my stomach chooses this imperfect time to announce the hunger I would have been happy to ignore.

"It's almost daylight." There is a tone of regret in his voice that does a lot to ease the sting of his laugh. "Charlie will be aware the all night movie marathon will be over. He's being indulgent, we shouldn't test his patience.

Sighing, I nestle closer for one last snuggle, knowing he's right even as I feel a slight bit of resistance to Charlie's rules. I am going to be married in a few short weeks. It seems odd to be under an enforced curfew under the circumstances. A sudden shot of guilt slides in under the resistance. In a few short weeks I won't just be married. I'll be something else as well. Something that will sadly end my relationship with Charlie forever.

I push the thought away quickly. One bridge at a time I remind myself mentally.

My stomach growls again and Edward places a kiss on my forehead. I don't have to see him to know he's smiling. "Breakfast time for the human. You must be starving. If we leave now we'll have time to stop somewhere and get you something to eat."

I'd like to argue, especially when his kiss moves from my forehead to my lips but he's right. I really am starving. I stretch languidly, feeling a slight ache in all my joints as though they'd come unhinged and were now trying to realign. It's not an unpleasant feeling.

Edward finds all the scattered pieces of our clothes and we dress quickly in the soft shadows. He takes my hand as he starts the car and pulls back onto the road raising it to his lips to tenderly kiss my knuckles.

"I love you," he murmurs.

"I know. I love you too."

He smiles. "I know."

**EPOV**

Bella is sleeping lightly when I pull into her driveway. Charlie is just coming out of the house, dressed in his uniform, his thoughts filling with quiet relief as he sees us. She rouses easily and with a sleepy yawn, gathering the bag with the remnants of her half eaten sweet roll before slipping from the car. To my eyes she looks deliciously tousled and very well loved so I'm grateful when Charlie observes her as nothing more than tired. No doubt a reflex action of a Father who will always struggle to see his daughter as anything more than the little girl she's always been in his eyes.

"Hey kids," he remarks. "Enjoy the movies?"

"They were all right," Bella replies evasively. Then as if she's afraid he'll ask for a synopsis she quickly adds, "I fell asleep halfway through, so..."

Charlie chuckles. "Yeah, you look like it. You never could stay awake during late night movies, Bells."

She blushes, no doubt remembering that she hadn't actually slept a wink all night while I stifle the urge to smile.

"Well, I have to get to the station. There was a break in at the old Miller place last night. No doubt just some hyper kids with nothing better to do, but I need to go check it out." He starts to make his way to the car and suddenly his eyes seem to focus on the Guardian. "Wow. That is some car, Edward. What is it?"

"It's a Mercedes Guardian, sir."

"Really? I think I've heard of those, but I didn't think they were available anywhere in the U.S. yet. Is it Carlisle's?"

I reach out and snag Bella's hand, tugging her gently back towards me. Sitting on the very edge of the hood I place one foot on the front bumper and watch her warily. She's sleepy and slightly befuddled but suspicion is rapidly beginning to darken her eyes. I decide now is as good a time as any to fess up and present her with the car. I can only hope Charlie's presence will ease the storm that might brew up in her.

Sliding my hand into my pocket and removing the keys, I pull Bella even closer. She moves to stand in between my spread knees, watching Charlie move around the car whistling under his breath.

"Actually no. It isn't Carlisle's car. It's Bella's." If I was human I might hold my breath, but I'm neither human nor superstitious. I merely stay still and wait while she absorbs my words. The second I see the understanding flash over her gorgeous eyes, I hold the key out to her.

Charlie coughs and I swear I almost hear a laugh behind the startled sound. His thoughts confirm it a second later when they watch Bella's cheeks turn red. "You bought this for Bella?" He doesn't sound surprised, just awed.

"Yes. It's an early wedding present."

"You bought me a car? For a wedding present?" Her voice stays calm until the last syllable and then it rises in a sharp pitch.

Charlie clears his throat, definitely amused now. As much as he's grown to accepts our relationship, he still isn't above taking pleasure in seeing Bella possibly put me in my place.

I don't bother to argue the point. "Yes."

Her cheeks go from red to pale before something in her demeanour seems to change. She regards me for a minute. "Where is my truck?"

"Dead."

Charlie snorts. "That doesn't surprise me, Bells. Thing was on its last legs anyway. I was getting ready to tell you it was time to junk it. Safety first and all that." Charlie's thoughts head to Jacob and then back to me, once again taking in the Guardian. He doesn't know a lot about cars, they aren't his thing, but he does know when it comes to safety it looks like this would be a very good car. He likes that. His shoulders square and he pats the hood with a grin and a head shake at me as though to say good luck. There is still a certain amount of pleasure in his mind about Bella possibly being angry with me, but it has faded quite a bit now.

Heading to his cruiser he tells us to have a good day and waves with another grin. As he drives away I can see in his mind that he's still grinning. Resisting the urge to do so myself and knowing it won't help my cause, I watch Bella carefully, still dangling the keys out of my right hand.

I wait for her temper to kick in, feeling a small twinge of guilt at how tired she looks. Suddenly she sighs. "This is a very expensive car."

"It is." There isn't any point in denying that fact, Bella is far too intelligent for any attempt at denying the truth. Her brow furrows. Before she can protest I continue, forcing my tone to stay reasonable though her refusal to let me take care of her in these simple ways is, as always, frustrating. "I didn't however, actually buy this car. It's only on...loan."

Gorgeous eyes snap to mine. "Loan?"

"Yes. Consider this your 'before' car."

"Before. As in...?" she arches an eyebrow, careful as always not to say anything out loud no matter whether we are alone or not.

"Yes," I smile. "As in." I'm still holding the keys and she bites her lip, eyeing them warily as though they are dangerous.

"So would I be right in assuming that means there is an 'after' car?"

Ah, always so quick. "Yes," I reply quietly, still waiting for her temper but once again seeing no point in denial.

Instead of anger she looks at me closely for a long minute. With a sudden deep sigh her shoulders relax. "If I take those keys and don't complain, will you promise not to tell me about the after car until...after?"

My answer is quick, without hesitation. "Yes." I'm excited about her after car, but keeping silent is a small price to pay to have her accept this one.

"Okay," she sighs again. She seems to need a second to steel herself before reaching out slowly to take the keys from my hand. The urge to smile when her warm fingers slide against mine removing the negligible weight of the key is nearly impossible to confine.

Yet another sigh escapes her throat, and she shakes her head giving me a tired but amused smile. "I guess I'm going to have to get used to this." Before I can answer she slips into my arms and presses her lips to mine in a slow kiss that burns the sweetest fire through my cold body. "Thank you, Edward," she whispers in a voice just as sweet as the kiss. I pull her close and relish the little tremor of desire that skates down her spine when I deepen the kiss, the soft moan that spills from mouth to mine.

"You're welcome," I whisper back, just before sweeping her up in my arms and heading for the house. There is still a shiny black unlimited credit card that will need to make its way from my wallet to hers sometime today, but I'm thinking it might help if I ease some of the tension my first gift has brought before that happens.

How lucky it is that we have an empty house and a quiet Saturday morning before us...

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**A/N - IMPORTANT** - Defrosting Edward has currently been placed on temporary hiatus while I finish my other WIP, Falling Beyond Redemption. Due to the amount of work and time that story requires it's become way too hard to juggle both. I promise though that I am not abandoning this story and will return in the future to finish it. I respecfully ask for your patience and understanding in the mean time. Huge thank you to all my faithful wonderful readers and reviewers who have fed the greedy lemon tree and shown me and this story such incredible support.

**A/N July 5/2010 - DFE has been nominated for a Vampie award in the Fangbanged (Best Smut) category! So cool! I am beyond honored and doing a dorky happy dance. :-) If you've enjoyed this lemon monstrosity and at any time felt a little hot and steamy after reading, I would love to have your vote. The link can be found on my profile page or just google Twilight Vampie awards. Even if you don't want to vote for DFE I'd still love it if you'd take a minute to visit the site and show some support to the many other writers who have helped ease the ache left from the "fade to black" scenes from the series, lol. Seriously though, the support you show to whomever you choose to vote for goes a long way and I assure you is hugely appreciated.**

**To my Falling Beyond Redemption readers, that story too has been nominated under the categories, The Poisoned Apple (Best Angst) and Bloody Brilliant (Best Overall). Figured I'd throw that into the ring as well just in case you're so inclined to vote and while I'm already groveling unashamedly... Okay, so I'm a little ashamed, but not enough not to grovel, lol.**


	22. Chapter 22

A/N Hello readers. It's been awhile. If you're still reading, I'm extremely grateful. I'm making no promises regarding the timeline of future updates, they'll probably be a bit sporadic for the time being, but consider DFE officially off hiatus!

Now. As far as this chapter goes, I'm sticking as closely to canon timelines as possible. Right now we are approximately three weeks from the wedding. So, just to refresh your memory, if you remember from Breaking Dawn chapter 7, Unexpected, Bella does some quick mental math and calculates that right around now she probably would have been a tad bit...cranky. Wedding stress, PMS, I'm sure you get the picture, lol. Anyway, I wondered how our favourite vampire might handle a few mood swings etc. and how Bella herself might handle it. Combine that with a rare sunny day in Forks, and well, you have the makings of some growth in their emotional relationship as well as some very lemony content which you've all come to expect from DFE. Enjoy! ;)

Chapter beta'd by Octoberland.

Twilight and all its characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. Absolutely no copyright infringement intended. I'm just borrowing Edward and making him give Bella what she needs and deserves, lol. =P

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Chapter 22

**Burning the Past - Part 1**

**BPOV**

The sunlight spilling in through the floor to ceiling windows in Edward's room hits the back of his shoulders and neck. The result is a soft iridescent glow that refracts in hundreds of stunning starbursts of light that reflect over my thighs. I let go of the death grip I've had on his hair and my hands fall limply down to the bed beneath me as he brushes the softest of kisses over the slope of my hip and the inward curve of my waist. He makes his way all the way up, and brushes another one of those feather-like kisses to my panting mouth before rolling to the side and taking me with him. Like instinct my body instantly curves to his, my head finding the slight dip between his shoulder and chest, and settling there while my leg curls over his. The fine, wiry hairs on his thigh tickles the currently very sensitive skin between mine, and a shiver runs over me.

Sliding my hand down over his tight abdominal muscles that feel like cold concrete beneath my palm, I toy with the elastic waistband of his black Calvin Klein boxer briefs, sliding two fingers delicately beneath. They just barely graze the tip of silky skin on the object I'm after before cold fingers clamp around them and remove them effortlessly. Despite the way I tighten every muscle and fibre in my arm to try and keep them where they are, it's a wasted effort.

"You're going to kill me. You do remember I'm still human, right?" I huff against his cool skin, cranky at being stopped. Some of the emotion is lost in the fact that I'm still panting and weak limbed from the unbelievable pleasure he'd just given me.

"Rather a hard thing for me to forget," he answers with a chuckle, gently scraping the fingers not currently trapping mine to the determined safe zone of his abdomen through my hair. The smug grin I don't have to see to hear rings out in every word. "Lucky for me, your heart is very strong, making death by orgasm statistically unlikely."

I snort a little and manage to lift my head to give him the benefit of my slightly incredulous look. "Statistically?" I ask. "Studying up are you?"

The grin I'd heard is indeed very present and it grows. "Perhaps."

I snort again and flop back down, this time on my back away from him. "And did those statistics by any chance quote the ratio of heart attack victims with vampire fiancés who are determined to give multiple orgasms in a very short amount of time _without_ taking anything for themselves?"

"Bella..." he begins in a placating tone when he hears the slight petulance in mine. He rises up to balance his weight on his elbow, and looks down at me.

"Five to one, Edward!" I quote my own statistics with a touch of exasperation.

"Six," he replies, and now he's going way past smug with the grin. I quickly start recalculating and blush when I realize he's right. I'd forgotten to count early this morning when he'd woken me just before dawn with soft kisses on the back of my neck and shoulders, his clever hand already beneath my panties and between my legs, the wetness there suggesting he'd been busy while I'd been sleeping. How I could have forgotten to count that is beyond me. I'd come so hard I'd thought I would pass out, both from the feeling and from the amount of effort it had taken not to scream. Thankfully Edward had anticipated the reaction and pressed a quick thinking thumb to my lips, giving me something to bite on and stifle the cry that would have otherwise surely woken Charlie. Luckily for him, he's made of something infinitely harder than normal human skin or I might have bitten said thumb clean off. As it is my jaw had been aching a tiny bit ever since, even if he is, as usual, unscathed.

"Fine," I retort hotly, even more annoyed. "Six to one, which is even worse!" Or better, depending on how you look at it. Unfortunately I wasn't looking at it the same way he was. Not that I wasn't blissfully happy that he wanted so badly to please me, because I was. But despite all the gains we've made things still have remained very imbalanced between us. Case in point the hours he's spent today making me pant, writhe and explode numerously all while allowing me to reciprocate only once.

Rolling back towards him, pushing the tangled bedding down away from my feet, I place my hand back on his chest. I let it slide down slowly while I bite my lip and try to look tempting and determined. "It really isn't fair," I murmur, brushing my fingers gently over his stomach in a side to side motion that I hope is distracting him from how close I'm getting to the non-safe zone. I get an inch from my goal before he once again stops me.

"Bella. We've discussed this. It's not a matter of fair." Raising my hand to his mouth he kisses it softly, smiling while I huff.

I examine his eyes closely; the color like melted caramels is clear and light showing me he's not thirsty. Scowling I try to tug my hand away. "Edward..." I have my arguments all in order, but a loud unwelcome gurgle from my stomach cuts them off.

"You're hungry." He's up and out of the bed pulling on a pair of jeans before I can protest.

"I'm fine," I retort, getting up on my knees and facing him with a huff. "I want to talk about this." I still haven't completely gotten past my inner nerves and self consciousness at being naked around Edward, but the very appreciative look in his eyes as they run over me does a lot to help. He even pauses to do it, one leg in his pants, one out. The melted caramel of his eyes turns darker. For a second I think I can tempt him back to bed in another way. Before the thought can truly form, he has me buttoned up in one of his shirts and on my feet, leading me out the door.

In the kitchen I balk at the doorway and cross my arms over my chest. The house is quiet as Edward makes his way to the fridge, ignoring me, so I take a minute to make sure I'm covered. His shirt hangs all the way down nearly to my knees and with the buttons all securely fastened, I'm more modestly covered than I had been in the sundress I'd worn here.

"Edward..." I try again, trying to sound firm and not whiny.

"Would you like a sandwich, love? Or there is some pasta, maybe a salad?"

Groaning and making no effort to keep it quiet, I make my way to the island and lean against it. Knowing I won't get anywhere until he's satisfied his obsessive need to feed me, I give up for the moment. "Ice cream."

He looks up from his rummaging and quirks an eyebrow at me. "For lunch?"

"Yes." I arch an eyebrow just daring him to argue. He hesitates for a moment then reaches into the freezer and secures a tub of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey. He cracks the lid, locates a spoon and hands it to me with a small indulgent smile, knowing by now not to bother with a bowl. The fact that I'm the only one here who will go anywhere near this decadent little treat definitely has its benefits. Edward's hands grasp my waist and a second later he has me seated on the cold granite countertop. I squirm a little to make sure the shirt stays under my backside, wincing a little at the cold on the bottom half of my thighs where the shirt doesn't reach before digging into the carton with a little moan.

Edward chuckles a little at my blissful expression and sound. "Good?"

"Um hmm."

He makes a face, slightly repulsed by the smell no doubt, his fingers drawing small circular patterns on my knees. "Are you sure I can't make you something else?"

"Nope, this is good." I take another bite, my mind still consumed with how to initiate the discussion I really am determined to have. For his part he looks like he wants to discuss the nutritional deficiencies of my lunch, but another mouthful, another small moan, and one more eyebrow arch that just dares him to go there, has him shaking his head instead. He turns back to the fridge pouring me a glass of milk, probably calculating its benefits and weighing them against my unhealthy food choice. He sets it beside me as I lick a few errant, half melted drops of my treat from the side of my pinkie finger. I might be mistaken but I think his eyes get darker again. He turns away before I can really tell. Irritated that I can't even use that to my advantage, I eye the milk. "Do you have any Pepsi?"

He frowns a bit, but gamely turns back to the fridge. "Gingerale?"

"Ugh. No." After being sick from the infection that my relatively minor burns had still managed to create, and drinking what felt like at least a dozen litres of Gingerale, I could care less if I ever see it again, let alone drink it.

He smirks. "Orange juice?"

"Root beer?"

"Apple juice? Grape?"

"Dr. Pepper? Mountain Dew?"

"Cranberry juice?"

"Ugh! Double no!" That's almost as bad if not worse than the Gingerale. Alice had nearly drowned me in the stuff when a switch in antibiotics to combat the infection had her seeing a vision of me contracting a bladder infection. I don't even want to know what that vision would have entailed. Really, her psychic talent can be beyond creepy and invasive at times.

Edward closes the fridge and places a bottle of mineral water beside the glass of milk, stifling his amusement. I wrinkle my nose and go back to my ice cream, my irritation growing at being thwarted for yet one more thing I want. I set the carton down on the counter and suck at my slightly sticky fingertips. This time there is no mistaking the darkening of his eyes. The ice cream I'm licking off might repulse him, but the action I'm using to clean it off obviously isn't repulsing him. Latching onto the proof that Edward isn't as uninterested in the idea of my reciprocating as he'd like me to believe, I stick out the tip of my tongue prepared to do something slightly lewd and suggestive to my index finger. Yes, I know that is all kinds of wrong and not me, but really, he's making it impossible not to consider doing things outside of my comfort zone with his stubborn ideas and fears. Frustration has me feeling a bit brave, but the feeling vanishes with the arrival of Emmett.

Dressed in nothing more than jeans slung low on his hips, I'm a bit stunned by the show of muscles in his back as he turns to yank open a cupboard, scanning the contents eagerly. "Hey. Nice shirt, Bells," he teases, looking back over his shoulder at me with a wink.

"Nice plumber's crack, Emmett," I retort. He laughs turning back to his rather destructive searching, wagging his backside at me, which thankfully really is all covered.

"You love it, girl. Admit it. My manly body is making you all hot and quivery." He nearly knocks down a large bottle of ketchup that would have ended up breaking on the hard ceramic tile floor if he didn't have vampire reflexes. "Hey. Hot little human girl who eats human food. Do we have any honey? I could have sworn I saw some...Ha! Cha ching. Here it is. Come to Papa..." He shoves the ketchup back in and drags out a small jar of organic honey. Really, I can't help but shake my head at the food items stocked in this house. Something a much more appealing shade of yellow catches my eye just before Emmett goes to close the cupboard. A big bag of Lays potato chips.

"Emmett, wait! Pass me the potato chips, please?" He snags the bag and shuts the door with his foot, dropping them in my lap distractedly. I set aside my ice cream and peel open the bag, the salty perfume making my mouth water. Emmett stares at the lid on the honey jar with an amusingly perplexed look on his face, squeezing the bottle and frowning when nothing comes out.

"How the hell do you open this?" He holds it out to me and I roll my eyes and drop the chips on the counter.

"Here." I take it and make quick work of the simple twist top, peeling off the cellophane safety liner before replacing the lid. "There. What exactly do you want with honey anyway?" I ask.

"Don't ask!" Edward admonishes, picking up the glass of milk and handing it to me, frowning at the potato chips and brushing them a little farther down the counter away from me. Emmett grins and sniffs the honey. He makes a face and then grins again. "Emmett," Edward growls warningly. "She doesn't really want to know."

"I don't?" I reach for the chips, ready with my own warning growl should Edward try to separate them from me again. He wisely refrains.

"Rose and I..."

"No, you don't..."

"Are playing the bear and the helpless maiden."

"Bear and what?"

Edward growls again even louder. "Emmett, shut up. Isn't Rose waiting for you?"

"Oh yeah." Emmett waggles his eyebrows in a move similar to the way he'd waggled his butt and disappears, literally. I stare at the place he had been, confused.

"Bear and maiden?"

Edward sighs in response and shakes his head. "Trust me, you don't want to know." He reaches for the ice cream container lid and moves to replace it. Using the spoon I still haven't let go of I crack him off the back of the hand. The resultant thwack of metal off cement rings through the room and the vibrations of it resonate up the handle of the spoon and into my fingers, making them slightly numb.

"Yes. I. Do. And I'm not done with the ice cream." I put the chips down and take another spoon full, chasing the saltiness with sweet and still ignoring the milk.

Edward moves in front of me placing one hand on either side of my body, a slightly dangerous look in his eyes that makes me swallow my bite of ice cream a little harder than necessary. Maybe whacking a vampire with a spoon isn't the wisest move ever.

He growls a little but answers my question. "Emmett enjoys recreating an alternate scene to the one that ended his life. Apparently at the time of the attack, he was foraging for honey in a nearby hive. The scent intrigued a Grizzly in the vicinity."

"Oh." I make a face of slight distress at the visual of Emmett being attacked, trying to wrap my mind around the Emmett I know and the human one who would have stood no chance against something like that. "And so he's..." I trail off, unsure of exactly what an alternate scene would entail.

Edward shakes his head a little, looking up at the ceiling with a grimace, though whether at the thoughts in his head or something he hears, or I guess, even sees in his mind, I can't be sure. "Emmett likes to play the bear, Rose plays the honey covered...maiden." His grimace this time is harsher.

Sucking the last of the ice cream off my spoon I frown. "But isn't honey disgusting to you guys? I mean is he going to... lick it... off?" I drop the ice cream back on the counter suddenly a little disgusted. Edward sighs.

"No, love. He..._they_, enjoy the sticky texture."

"Oh? Oh...OH! That's just...wrong." I scowl at him. "Why'd you have to tell me that? Really, Edward. Jeesh. There are some things I just don't ever want to know." I do realize as I speak that I am being a tad irrational, but my moods seem oddly off the charts today.

"I did say that, and yet you insisted anyway." He leans closer and places a cool kiss on my jaw then another directly below it, making me shiver. His hands find my knees and part them, pushing his body between them. I still have a death grip on the chip bag but I relinquish it easily when he pulls them away, suddenly more interested in his particular brand of sweet as opposed to the salty.

"You know," he whispers against my lower neck. "You were much less cranky upstairs. Perhaps we should go back up and...?"

"Not until we talk," I tell him, shoving him away with my hands, glad when he complies with a step back, otherwise my efforts would be useless against his strength. It isn't easy. He's using his dark velvet voice. The one that makes my skin tingle and come alive. "And I'm not cranky," I add, knowing the tone I'm using shows that I am actually very cranky, not that I try to change it. Crossing my arms over my chest I lean back a little and try to pin him with a stern gaze, wanting to intimidate him.

I'm pretty sure he's trying not to smile, which means I'm failing. Big surprise.

**EPOV**

She's beyond adorable, even when she's irritable and irrational with her kitten claws fully extended. I know I'm on unstable ground though, so I attempt not to let her see my amusement and attraction, opting instead for what I hope is a suitably attentive expression.

"What would you like to talk about, love?" I ask, keeping my tone as neutral as my expression so as not to set her off too much. Not that I need to ask. I know what she wants, and I'm warring with myself and my self control to try and decide how much of what she wants I can provide without putting her safety in jeopardy.

She calls my bluff with an adorable, long suffering sigh.

"You know what I want, Edward."

There is a pout in her tone that makes me smile internally. Stubborn, beautiful, wilful creature that she is, she simply will not let sleeping dogs lie. We've made such incredible strides in our intimacy and practice, but Bella constantly seeks to push the envelope farther still. It isn't that I don't understand her desires to reciprocate the attentions I bestow upon her in our lovemaking. It isn't even that I don't want those reciprocations. I simply cannot reconcile the dangers with my own selfish need to take pleasure.

In those moments when she touches me and I let the iron tight control I need to use slip away and just feel, the monster rattles his cage hard and snarls to be let loose. This is a new monster, one I find even harder to control than the one who wants to drink her dry. This one wants something different. Not her blood, but her body. He wants to claim her as his, to tear into her delicate tender flesh and ravage her body, thrust and mate voraciously, hungrily, insatiably, sating his physical lust on her fragile form, well beyond the limits of her human physical capabilities. And when he's done, allowing the other monster to have his fill. Or so I fear. Because the truth is whenever I allow the monster who desires her body in its fullest capacity to rear his head, I forget all about the other. A practice so inherently dangerous I can't even contemplate it without feeling terror. I must never fully lose control with her, not while she is still so incredibly fragile.

Taking her chin between my fingers I tip her face up, not surprised to see the delicate shine of unshed tears glistening over the deep, rich brown of her eyes. Emotional already thanks to the stress of our upcoming wedding, which is less than three weeks away, and the hormonal tide of her rapidly approaching period, my rebuffs are adding a new toll. I search my mind for a more effective way to make her understand that what we must sacrifice now is such a small price to pay for what we will eventually have. Not to mention making her understand how my ability to please her gives me a thousand times more pleasure than any I could physically feel myself.

"Bella. Do you not yet understand the pleasure I receive from loving you? From giving _you_ pleasure."

Her expression softens and more tears fill her eyes, one overflowing and getting caught on her lower lashes, trembling there like a tiny, crystal pendulum. I wait for it to fall down her cheek and slip into the crease at the corner of her mouth before sipping it gently from her skin to my mouth. The salty sweetness floods me with a tender mockery of the flavour her blood holds.

"I know. I just want the same, Edward. I want to make you feel the way you make me feel. It's...important to me. I feel selfish just taking all the time."

I cup her face and growl softly, unable to resist kissing her. Our lips move together for a moment before I pull back. "Selfish?" I ask incredulously. "Bella, do you have any idea what a day like today would normally entail for me?"

The question seems to throw her, or perhaps it was the kiss, she does seem a little dazed. "A day like today?"

"Yes. One that is sunny and bright, without a cloud in the sky."

She looks towards the window, taking in the day and the sun high in the noon sky, spilling in through the windows. I reach my hand out and allow some of that light to hit my skin, watching the freak show that is my nature come out in full, brilliant, ridiculous display.

"Well, normally we'd stay in, or go to the meadow..."

A little hiss of frustration at her misunderstanding of my meaning escapes me, and I shake my head. "Before you, Bella. Do you know what a day like today would have entailed for me, before you?"

"No." She shakes her head, cocking it to the right and regarding me with curiosity. I take my hand out of the light and place it on her cheek and she presses a warm kiss to my palm, one that makes me ache. Rather than explanations, I'd like to take her back upstairs and spread her out on my bed and show her all that it is hard to find words for.

"Days like today," I begin, tracing the edge of her jaw softly, mesmerized by the beauty of her skin and face. "Were difficult, to say the least. Back in school we had the alibi of camping trips to mask our necessary absences, do you remember?"

"I remember," she says quietly with a small smile. "There were quite a few jealous students if I'm not mistaken who would have killed to have parents who would take them out of class simply because the weather was nice. That was before I knew why, of course."

"Of course." Smiling together at our shared 'secret' I continue, needing to make her understand. "Those days were not fun filled. Oh, occasionally one member or more of my family would take pity on me and we'd escape into the woods on a hunting trip, but for the most part, we stayed home." I indicate the house with a wave of my arm. "Much like today," I tell her cautiously, wondering if she's fully realized that the house, quiet as it may seem to her, is actually fully inhabited.

She glances up at the ceiling warily, giving me my answer. "Everyone is home?" There is a tentative nervousness to her question that might make me smile if our conversation wasn't so serious. She'll need to develop a thicker skin when it comes to intimacy and my family. There are no secrets or privacy, only the illusions of such things that we choose to give one another out of respect.

"Yes, everyone."

She bites her lip, worrying it between her teeth until I feel compelled to draw it out with my thumb. Giving me an apologetic look, she squares the delicate line of her shoulders. "And Emmett didn't take the opportunity to make some dirty comment about hearing us? Wow! He really must have been distracted with his...game." She shudders a bit, but smiles with forced bravery and confidence.

"He's been warned, love. But I doubt even the threat of me dismembering him will last long. I probably should have warned you prior to your coming." The double entendre of my wording is unintended, but quickly noticed if the blush on her cheeks is any kind of evidence. Regardless of the crude undertones, meant or not, I don't back peddle or even apologize. Sometimes the only way to get a thicker skin is to have the thinner one picked at.

Dragging in a deep breath she smiles again, this time with more realism. "Well, you've already warned me about the whole, 'no secrets in this house' thing. It isn't as if I don't know about it. And I'm assuming they are all...distracted, like Emmett and Rose?"

"Yes. And no matter what Emmett might say, no one in this house has a penchant for voyeurism, either. Even those of us who cannot help it," I tap my temple in illustration, "strive to give as much privacy as possible, love."

She nods and sighs, leaning forward to rest her head on my chest. I can feel the heat of her still present blush against my bare skin, and my throat erupts in now nearly pleasant flame at her heightened scent. I swallow the venom and kiss her satiny hair before she pulls back to look at me. "So, on sunny days, everyone would...spend alone time in their rooms while you'd...?"

"Yes," I tell her, allowing the memories of torturously lonely days to fill my mind and cloud my eyes with remembered sadness. "While I would." I Indicate the house again, leaving the statement open ended. "Attempt to distract myself, mostly. Books, music, composing. On occasion it would become too much and so I'd escape, getting as far away from town and civilization as possible. As you know being seen on a sunny day is tantamount to asking for death in my kind."

Bella winces and I instantly regret my thoughtless words, knowing they've brought needless pain, bringing the dark memories of our time apart to the forefront of her thoughts. Before I can soothe her with my thoughts, she slips down off the counter and begins to tidy her snacks, meticulously sweeping away every crumb and even scouring the countertops with a product containing bleach in order to annihilate the scents she knows we find mildly repulsive. Her brow is furrowed the entire time. Locating the broom she begins to sweep the floor, though it is hardly necessary. She is a tidy little eater, but I sense she does it more out of habit than out of fear she's left a mess, so I allow it. Not that it would be wise to try to stop her. Like the useless attempts at distracting her from the unhealthy snacks that are more likely to exasperate her mild PMS symptoms despite her cravings for them, dissuading her from cleaning would be met with equal temper. Already a fastidious little creature she only becomes more so at this point in her monthly cycle.

Pausing briefly she bites her lip, and I use the distracted air that overcomes her as she becomes lost in her thoughts to free the broom from her fingers, sweeping the few crumbs into the vacuum portal at the base of the island. She doesn't argue, merely waits till I've replaced the broom in the closet with the other cleaning tools before stepping into me and seeking my embrace. I give it easily, relishing the feel of her warm, malleable little body more than I should.

"While you were alone on those days, what was it like?" She asks, her soft, moist breath falling on my skin like a caress.

"Difficult." My arms tighten around her, and she lifts her head so she can scrutinize my expression. "Not just because I could hear and be privy to things I have no business being a part of, but also simply because it highlighted my own empty existence. The loneliness was overwhelming, Bella. The emptiness so consuming. I love my family," I whisper, glad they are all too consumed with one another to be paying attention to our quiet conversation, wanting this to be for her ears only. "But at times, I envied them all so much it bordered on hate. The tenderness between them, the passion, the love. The creative, pleasure filled ways they could pass the endless, monotonous, sun brutalized days of our repetitious existence. How I envied them that. How I ached for that for myself in the beginning. And even when I thought it was all an impossibility for me, I still hated being trapped here, alone." I shake my head at her, wondering how much to say, how far I need to bare my inner mind to show her how she has changed me, completed me and made me whole.

"I never truly desired a woman until you. Never fully understood what it meant to hunger for that intimacy, but that didn't mean I couldn't know jealousy at what I didn't fully understand."

Bella moves her hand from my chest to my face, cupping my cheek, her eyes shining with understanding even as I bare the darker parts of me into the light.

"I didn't want to listen, to know, to see, but I couldn't always help it, nor could I fully close myself off to the curiosity, no matter how ashamed I was at times by it. I wondered what it would be like, to love like Carlisle and Esme with every fibre of my being and body. To know another's needs and wants as completely and devoutly as Jasper and Alice. Even to rabidly hunger and slake my body and that of my mate's like Emmett and Rose." If I could blush I would and Bella seems to know this, her fingers tightening slightly against my skin, urging me to continue with clear, non-judgemental eyes. "At times the pain of thinking I would never know such things drove me nearly mad, especially in the early years, before I learned ways to close off my mind. Ways to give privacy as much as possible and thus retain my sanity, ways not to know about certain games with bears and maidens." I strive to inject a slight joking tone to my voice, but I know she sees through it.

Leaning down I press my lips to hers, securing my arms more firmly around her waist to deepen the kiss, tasting her mouth and the sweetness that is pure Bella. Mine. Only mine. Needing her with a hunger that borders on desperate, I sweep her into my arms and carry her with inhuman speed back to my room, closing the door tightly behind us, sealing us inside before carrying her to the bed at a much more sedate pace. The room is drenched in her scent and mine now. Full of the subtle nuances of our mutual desires and satisfactions. Such a heady scent. How it enflames me.

I lay her down on the sheets where the sunlight falls upon them, turning the copper color to something resembling spun gold. Warming them as though in preparation for her perfect little body, countering the chill of my skin in that sun-warmed, sun-drenched fabric that caresses her only moments before I do.

"Oh my love, my own," I murmur in a near groan as I cover her with my body, carefully balancing my weight with one arm while my other slowly frees each button from its loop of tethering fabric, baring her decadent skin to my hungry gaze. "Can you not understand what a gift you give me? Being here with me now, in this room, knowing what I am, trusting me and not turning away, even from this sight." I take her hand and raise it to my mouth, kissing her palm and her fingers before placing them against my chest where a thousand glittering refractions ignite under the touch of the UV rays in the sun. "That I can spend these hours of necessary seclusion, not in hiding and in misery, not trying to bury my mind in music or running away to the loneliest of places, but in warmth and life and love and pleasure. Can you not understand what that means to me, what a gift you give me by allowing me to touch you this way?"

I release her hand and push the two halves of the now unbuttoned shirt apart, revealing her exquisitely lush form to my eyes, stunned anew every time by how lovely she is. "Bella, my sweet beautiful love, how you make me ache." I run my fingers down her throat, feeling her little moan at the very first contact of my fingers vibrate the delicate chords beneath them. She arches slightly, seeking more and I give it eagerly, dropping my voice to a lower level, one meant to be private, but also to stroke auditory nerves as well as emotional and physical ones. This is the voice I only use with her, only ever with her...

"The males in this house worship the women they love, Bella. On days like today, when the sun shines, hours upon hours are spent in slow, lazy lovemaking. In every way possible, every desire fulfilled, every need met. Do you think I'd want anything different? Silly girl. A vampire lives to please his mate, to feel her shatter under his touch, to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he has pleased her and pleased her well is one of the most incredible pleasures, one I never knew until now. One I never understood until now. Until you. And you think yourself selfish?" A small, dark laugh ripples out of my mouth and she shudders hard, whimpering at the sound, the scent of her perfect female need rich in my nostrils, painting my palate in her sweetness and hunger.

My fingers move down her body, sweeping outwards to ever so gently caress every satiny inch of her pretty breasts, to tease her sweetly puckered nipples into points that beg for and receive the attention of my lips and tongue. I touch her there until she is panting, kiss her and suckle her carefully, guarding against my teeth and finding my restraint in the knowledge that soon she will not only be my wife, but my equal in all ways. Immortal, unbreakable. The bittersweet twist of emotions, regret and lust and want and fear only heighten my emotions and my aching need to love her beyond any limits of pleasure she may believe exists. Her scent fills my head, blooms inside of my mind and down into my lungs with perfect stunning flavour. She arches again, writhing and twisting on the sun warm sheets, a fine dew of perspiration making her skin glow, almost but not quite, like mine. Small hands clench in my hair tightly. It makes me smile to know that if I were human she would have me nearly bald by now with her fierce kittenish strength and need. More proof that she was never meant for a mere, weak mortal. No, Bella is meant for me, for this. She is beyond beautiful, lost in her passion, and my mind creates dozens of snapshots and seals them in my perfect memory to replay in the moments when I must allow her human body rest and sleep.

"Edward, please."

Her body is growing desperate for more, her arousal spiking to a near painful level with the touch of my hands that roam her skin and my mouth on her breasts. Sliding my hands beneath her back I gently lift her until she straddles my lap, tangling my fingers up and into her hair, tugging her head back so that I can feast on her soft skin and racing pulse. Her humanity ever present in the wild thrumming sound of her racing heart, and in the taste of her. Freesia and roses and coppery rich perfection, and all that is uniquely, perfectly Bella.

"More," she pleads, her tiny blunt nails scraping ineffectively over my skin, leaving not a mark but burning a trail of incredibly perfect sensation everywhere she touches. My erection aches, cool trickles of pre-cum venom slipping copiously from the tip, and I know this time I will have no power to refuse her need for reciprocation, my need as overpowering as hers.

My hand slips between her succulent, silken thighs and I groan loudly with her at the feel of how wet she is. "This?" I hiss, "Is perfection. So wet for me, my little love, so swollen." My fingers trace her folds, dip between them and circle her firm, little clit that throbs like a heartbeat against the sensitive pads of my fingers. She trembles and moans with a little purring sound at the back of her throat that grows in volume as I stroke her there, faster now. One finger dips down, pressing gently and carefully inside her tight sheath, as always imagining that velvet warmth where I want it the most. Clenched tightly around my aching length...

"Oh, ungh, Edward, oh, oh, oh..."

"That's it, little one, my sweet perfect sexy girl," I praise with a dark laugh, curling my finger in a beckoning motion and stroking her inside as quickly and firmly as I stroke her clitoris. I've never fully appreciated the inhuman dexterity of my fingers as much as I do now. "This is what I want," I growl. "You, trembling under my hands, giving me everything, _everything_. This is everything." I let go of her hair and run my other hand down the front of her body. Her hands clench down over my shoulders as her back instantly bows away from me and towards the bed in perfect response. The movement allows me to press down on the soft curve of her pelvis and mound with my free palm, the silken curls over her sex tickling my skin as I create gentle but inexorable pressure on either side of that secret place within her. She begins to tremble, her breathing reduced to shallow pants and whimpers that are driving me insane. She cries out louder, her voice becoming a soft desperate rasp

"Oh, God, Ed...ward...what are you doing...to me? Oh, that feels so...so...so..."

"Come," I demand harshly, my own breathing panting now in time with hers. "Come for me, love, let me feel you come, let go, my beauty, let go..."

She arches hard, so hard for a moment I fear she'll hurt herself, but then she cries out loudly and her orgasm breaks over her, and I'm too lost in the perfect, painfully arousing sight of her in climax to worry. Her skin seems to ignite with heat and electricity, a soft flush painting her ivory skin in gentle pinks, delicate nipples tightening harder, gentle tremors wracking her inside and out, giving way to harsher ones as the waves of her pleasure crest over her. A flood of liquid warmth rushes over my hand and she whimpers as I growl, urging her on so that she does it again, and then again. I lay her down against the pillows when her thighs begin to tremble so hard I know she won't be able to stay upright, and kiss her hungrily, still maintaining the exact rhythm and depth and touch to keep her in bliss. My body hovers over hers and the heat of her skin rises like a secret touch against my own, bathing me in her perfect heat.

When her hand slides down my abdomen I don't stop her. "Yes, love, touch me," I groan against her mouth moving back a bit to give her room and to allow her to see if she chooses. "Touch me because I will deny you nothing. Touch me because I'm yours." My turn to shiver as her hot little hand engulfs me. Still rippling with the aftershocks of her climax, there is nothing timid about her touch or about her moan of pleasure as she watches her hand move up and down over me. A part of my brain screams at me to let her go, terrified that I will lose control of my strength and hurt her as the pleasure she's giving me makes me mindless, but the feel of her so wet and silken and tight around my fingers is nothing I want to give up. And I want her to come again, with me this time. God, I need her to come with me.

"Touch me, love," I groan again unnecessarily since that is exactly what she is doing, quickly adopting a stroking motion that twists her little hand over the crest of me, dragging the growing wetness on my head down the entire shaft. "So good," I pant. "Bella...sweetheart...I can't...I want..." I move my fingers inside of her faster again, sweeping my thumb upwards, gently rubbing her clitoris, careful now, knowing her orgasms have made her doubly sensitive. My actions and the extreme amount of care and concentration they require give me back precious seconds I need to take her with me. I'm on the edge and losing control quickly, but thankfully she isn't far behind. She whimpers, her eyes darting between the sight of my fingers on her and hers on me. I cover her hand with my own, tightening her grip slightly, careful of her delicate bones but needing, _wanting_ more friction. I somehow manage to hold on, chanting and groaning her name like a prayer, my imminent release burning upwards.

Oh God, so close. "Love, come with me," I plead, beg, demand and she's so perfect, so completely and utterly mine that she does.

One simple arch of her hips and we're both gone, her throbbing little climax pulsing over my fingers, sending the thrill of it over me and doubling the power of my own release so that I jerk and growl, the hand not touching her beautiful little sex letting go and smashing down through the sheets and blankets and mattress and springs. Twisting those metal coils into dust and debris as each aching jet of release spurts hard from the inside out, coating her hand and her delicate wrist and forearm, oh...Jesus, sweet Christ, so good, so good, so good...

With perfect mindless clarity neither one of us fails the other in our motions and rhythms, allowing the power of our climaxes to run to their natural conclusions. She subsides seconds before I do and I hear her whimper and moan my name, her turn this time to praise. When I open my eyes she's watching me, all flushed skin, warm satiation and female pride. I kiss her gently groaning against her mouth with a small smile that matches her own.

"It's a good thing I'm not mortal, love, or I'd be the one having the heart attack right about now."

She laughs and bites at my lip making the groan turn to a growl, and I force myself away from her before I lose one more thread of my control.

Thankful for my nature that keeps me strong and solid even after such mind blowing devastating pleasure, I quickly scan her from head to toe. Softly caressing her inside and scenting the air for blood, grateful to once again find her whole and unharmed. I take her hand from me and lean down to place a soft kiss on her tender clit, cooling her with my breath and greedily stealing a taste of her climax from its source. She squirms, overly sensitive now and I move up to kiss her stomach, her hips, her ribs, one creamy shoulder then the other. Finally her mouth in slow, wet, deep kisses, the kind I must be so careful about. She's nearly boneless now, relaxed, though still quivering with aftershocks, allowing me to take chances since she's too sated to push boundaries. Finally I slip away from her, moving to secure a warm washcloth to clean her hand and arm and another to tenderly soothe and clean between her legs. She blushes at that, but doesn't move away, allowing me to care for her as I will, perhaps finally understanding what it means to me to do so.

I bring her a glass of water as well and urge her to drink it, before shifting us both to the other, drier side of the bed. All around me I can hear and mentally sense the passion coming to a crest in the other rooms, not at all surprised or bothered by the fact that Bella and I and what we'd just shared had heightened the pleasure and emotion of their lovemaking as well. It seems only natural, and I whisper the knowledge to Bella as well, laughing lightly at her blush as she curls against me. I tip her face up for more kisses, slow and deep and lingering, making them last as she settles beside me. Up since the crack of dawn after too few hours of sleep last night, combined with the hours we've spent in energetic sexual pursuits, she's understandably worn out.

"Sleep, love," I murmur softly, my murmurings blending in with the other males in the house, urging not sleep but rest on their equally sated mates. The sun is warm on my skin and hers when she slips into a light rest, and for the first time in nearly a century I bask in its heat without worry or fear, more at peace than I have ever been. Caressing Bella's hair so lightly it won't wake her, I tell her I love her and that I adore her. I tell her how she's healed all my wounds and filled every empty place. And finally when I run out of words, I hum her lullaby, embellishing it with new notes more hopeful and fulfilled than any of those from its more melancholy predecessor.

For the first time ever, all the Cullen males are at peace at the same time.

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A/N I struggled a tiny bit with the content in this chapter. Namely, weaving in the presence of the other Cullens as well as the fact that they are all spending this day the same way. It seemed a little...I don't know, mildly creepy I guess? Also a little hot if I'm being honest, lol. In the end I decided this is where the muse took me, so I'd give it to you all as is, and not try to butcher it to make it less risque so to speak. Since it was never any secret, (even in a series meant for a youth audience), that privacy was a real issue and something they'd all learned to give up when it came to the intimate side of their relationships, it really seems only natural that I address it. Hopefully you all agree and can see that, really, they're all very involved with their individual mates and not paying attention to much else. Still, I believe a certain mood would be present that might be a tad infectious, especially given their powers and the fact that they would all have been happy, and probably damn proud of Edward, lol. Anyway, just thought I'd throw the explanation out there in case anyone was bothered by any part of this chapter's content. It isn't meant to offend.

Oh, and for those of you who payed attention and noticed that the chapter is titled 'Part 1', yes there will be a 'Part 2' coming soon. I think Edward deserves a really special "sunny" afternoon, don't you? (wink wink)

Now that my ass is covered, lol, the lemon trees could use some love and attention. It's been awhile. In case you've forgotten, that means hit the review button pretty please! I need some nurturing...uh, I mean (ahem) the lemon trees need some nurturing. :)


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N** - Just to refresh your memories since it's been so long since you all read the last chapter, this is Part 2 of chapter 22, Burning the Past. In part 1, Edward and Bella spend a rare, sunny Forks day indoors at the Cullen house, most of it in bed. Bella is a tad PMS'y and gets a bit miffed that Edward tends so thoroughly to her pleasure while allowing her so few chances to reciprocate. During a discussion about it, Edward reveals the fact that sunny days spent indoors in a houseful of happily married couples has, in the past, been a torture for him. One that left him very lonely. He assures Bella that a day like they are having now is everything to him and then some, and that her pleasure is his. Lots of steamy stuff ensues. ;-)

So, Bella understands, but here in Part 2, she wants to make this sunny day in, a bit more about Edward than herself. Wink wink. ;-)

Huge props to my beta Octoberland for all her help with this chapter and so many others, and for polishing this particular one in record time.

Also huge, HUGE thanks to radioactive77 who left me my 1,000 review for this lemon monstrosity. I nearly fell over, and that it was from her, a big supporter of my writing already, just added a sweet layer of icing to the cake. You rock my dear.

Happy Remembrance day to all our veterans! Wear those poppies proudly and show your support to those who sacrifice so much to keep us free.

Disclaimer: SM owns all the characters found here as well as all references related to the Twilight Series. She pretty much owns me as well. No copyright infringement is intended or implied.

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Burning the Past – Part 2

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**BPOV**

My reflection in the bathroom mirror is a little worse for wear. Running my fingers through my hair, I attempt to tame some of the mess and then quickly give up. It's a little wild, but oddly flattering. I settle instead for brushing my teeth a second time. I'd let Edward talk me into a small bowl of pasta after my cat nap, and I want to make sure all traces are gone from my mouth before I attack him for the umpteenth time today.

Okay, that attacking has been more on his side than mine, but after his explanation about how difficult it had been in the past for him to spend this kind of sunny day locked in a house full of happily married couples; I'm determined to rectify that. Both the somewhat one-sided attacking and the unhappiness. It's my turn to be in control and show him that he can take as well as give, and sometimes, he can even just take. Which is my goal at the moment.

I place my toothbrush back in the holder and take a deep breath, searching for my inner sex kitten. Or whatever side of me might exist that can be confident and brave and assertive. Certainly not the usual descriptive adjectives I'd ever use to define myself, but determination has to count for something, right? And if I'm anything right now, it's determined.

I unbutton the top three buttons of Edward's shirt and then tug the hemline down a little to making the material gap and show a hint of cleavage. Not too revealing, just alluring. The bra and panty set I'm wearing underneath however, might be pushing the envelope. I bite my lip nervously and lift the shirt quickly, one last time, to inspect the sapphire blue lace and silk that stands out so starkly against my pale skin. They seem even more barely there than they had the last time I'd looked. Or the time before that, or the time before...

Yes. I'm stalling.

I let the material of the shirt fall again to cover up the skimpy, figure-hugging underwear and lace scalloped bra, my cheeks turning to flames. I scoop the practical cotton I had been wearing earlier today off the floor and stuff it in my bag before I can change my mind.

A week ago while Edward had been off hunting with Emmett, and Alice and Jasper had disappeared for a weekend in Paris of all places, I'd stumbled across two bags full of the most absurd lingerie and underwear. All of it piled in my closet where it most certainly hadn't been the day before. The bags had literally been overflowing with thongs and garter belts and frothy lace spilling over fabrics so sheer there was no way they covered...anything. All of it sporting tags from designers with high end labels and prices too outrageous to contemplate. I could have fed the people in a homeless shelter in New York for a year with the kind of money Alice had spent here.

With a sigh of exasperation, I'd packed it all back into the bags, driven to the Cullen house and knocked determinedly at the door. When Esme had answered, I'd apologized for disturbing her and held up the bags with a smile.

"I just need to leave these for, Alice." I'd told her. Then I'd taken them upstairs and put them on her bed with a post-it note attached to each. One said – Not in a million years. And the other – Not in two million either!

I'd then promptly shut off my cell phone and took myself to Port Angeles shopping where I'd spent the better part of three hours in several 'boutiques' being fitted and stuffed into what I like to call, compromises. I could, after all, understand that my drawer full of white and pastel cottons decorated with things like tiny hearts, and even in one case a smiling leprechaun, weren't exactly honeymoon material. But there had to be a happy medium, and I was happy to find it even as my palms had run damp as I'd carted the slippery satins and butter-soft laced items to the check outs. Smiling cashiers didn't bat an eye as they wrapped everything in perfumed tissue paper and deposited them in shiny gift bags in quick efficient ways, allowing me to escape without needing the floor to open up and swallow me whole.

When I'd gotten home, I'd warily turned on my cell phone and a new text had instantly appeared.

_We'll talk in three million years, but in the meantime, at least throw out the leprechaun undies!_

I'd purposely rooted through my drawer, found them, and put them in my half packed suitcase with a smile, adding them to the pile of newly bought items still tucked in tissue paper.

A new text instantly pinged into my phone.

_You're impossible!_

I'd fired back a quick, _I love you too,_ and then shut the phone off again with a smile.

The blue satin currently hugging my skin right now, was one of those compromises. One I'd thought would be perfect today when I'd sensed Edward might need a little inspiration to break down some of the walls he still keeps up around him. I'm very glad I'd let Alice commandeer my suitcase yesterday or I wouldn't have access to it now. She'd promised not to unpack anything, only to add to it. I still had no idea where Edward planned to take me for our honeymoon, so it made sense that I couldn't have complete control over the contents. I guess.

Thinking of the honeymoon steals my resolve. Edward needs to learn to trust himself with me, and the only way I can think to prove to him that he won't hurt me, is to make him lose a little bit of his self control and _show him_ that he won't hurt me. It's risky. Not in the sense that something could go wrong and I could end up hurt - or possibly spending my honeymoon draining animals instead of enjoying my husband - but in the sense that Edward could become angry at my pushing him. We could end up spending the rest of this day sitting awkwardly on opposite ends of a couch, instead of tangled up together in his bed the way I desperately want.

No guts no glory, I tell myself, tilting my chin up and reaching for the door. I'm greeted with an empty bedroom and the soft sounds of piano music coming from downstairs. I check the hallway quickly and then scurry down to join him, praying I don't run into anyone on the way. Thankfully the house is quiet, everyone still in their own rooms, or so I imagine.

I join Edward, slipping in behind him, careful as I possibly can be not to do something like trip on air. Somehow I doubt I can pull off any kind of seduction, regardless of what I'm wearing, if I'm sprawled out across the floor. I slide my arms over his shoulders and kiss his cheek, feeling the granite muscles of his jaw move with his smile. The song he's playing is soft and melodic. Something I can't put a name or a composer to.

"Is this new?" I ask, assuming it's one of his compositions.

"Yes. Do you like it?"

"It's beautiful. Very peaceful and serene. Is it another lullaby?" His hair is even more messy than usual. I tangle my fingers in it and scrape my nails over his scalp. He doesn't miss a note, but does make a low growling sound of contentment in the back of his throat that makes me smile as I repeat the action.

"It's not finished yet," he says after a moment, the notes changing in pace as he begins a bridge. "I'm not entirely sure what it will be. I was merely feeling...inspired."

"Are you feeling...peaceful?" I ask with a touch of playfulness to my tone that hides my hope that that is exactly how he's feeling. I couldn't ask for a better mood for what I have planned.

"Contented, peaceful, serene," he answers, his smile painting his voice with his emotion which is indeed exactly what I want. "Take your pick."

"A sunny day in seems to agree with you," I tease, dropping a kiss on his naked shoulder, breathing in his unique and highly appealing scent.

"So it would seem," he laughs. The melody is tapering off now so I lean my body against his back, knowing he can feel the heat of my skin even through the cotton that separates us.

"Please don't stop." I place another kiss on his shoulder, this one closer to the place where it begins to curve up into his neck. "I love to watch you play." I move around and lift one of his hands from the piano so I can slide into his lap. He lets me settle then begins to play Debussy's La plus que lente, the gentle tune one of the late great composers more sensual pieces.

"You love to watch me?" Edward questions, a hint of his crooked smile beginning as he teases me for my choice of words.

I lean against him and reach out, running one finger over his right hand with a barely there touch. "Yes," I reply, swallowing past the sudden lump in my throat as those fingers move across the keys effortlessly. "You have the most beautiful hands..." I can't help but blush a little as I turn my face into his neck with a shiver that has nothing at all to do with the cold feel of his chest where I'm nestled into him. I brush my lips over his throat with a sigh, letting just the tip of my tongue touch his Adam's apple. It jerks downwards as he swallows hard and then vibrates a little when he groans.

This time when I touch him I let my fingers run down his powerful forearm, the hairs there crisp and wiry, down to his strong wrist that is bare today. The Cullen crest he wears normally is upstairs in his room on his dresser. He always takes it off when we make love, worried it might scratch me, and he hasn't put it back on yet.

His iron-like tendons on the underside of his wrist flex against my fingertips when I run them around and under. I tip my head up and place soft kisses along his jaw. He's no longer smiling and I feel the tenseness bunching those solid, seemingly immovable muscles as his teeth clench together on a hiss.

"Watching you now," I whisper, letting my teeth scrape his earlobe delicately, "is hard," I finish, kissing the place just under the lobe where his pulse had once beat. My hand leaves his wrist and runs back up his arm, past the swell of his bicep, so much more like rock than flesh, to the other side of his neck, curling my fingers up into the hair at his nape.

"Hard?" He asks, his voice gone low and velvet, another groan building deep in his throat so that I feel it rumble its way up to the place I'm kissing with soft, open-mouthed care, letting my breath touch him as much as my lips. "How so?"

"I can't stop thinking when I watch you play." I'm teasing him with just the slightest reveals of both information and my body. The shirt has ridden up and I can feel the cooler air against my skin, right where the lace of my underwear skims my hips and the tops of my thigh. The three buttons I unfastened make the fabric on my chest bunch and gap open now that I'm no longer standing and the weight of it can't pull it down.

"Thinking...about?"

The music is still flawless, but then I know he can play with his eyes closed and that he's capable of focusing on many things at once. Still, the slight hesitance in his words means I'm getting to him. Not that I couldn't glean that fact from the press of something hard and cold against my bottom. I want to rub myself against him but don't. This isn't about me, not this time...

"About you," I murmur, moving my lips back to his jaw and using my other hand to place pressure against the side of his face, urging him to turn towards me. "About the way your hands touch the keys. How much it reminds me of the way you touch...me..." His lips meet mine without hesitation, mouth opening to touch my bottom lip with his tongue. I pull back the tiniest bit, just enough to break the connection, teasing him as he groans again. "Your hands on my skin, all over me..."

There's a discordant sound as the song ends with a clash of mismatched tones, followed by the thump of the lid falling hard over the keys, and the screech of the wooden legs on the bench being shoved back hard on the floor. I find myself standing between Edward and the piano, his eyes gone dark and hungry as his hands move up my outer thighs pushing the shirt up with it.

He hisses when the tiny panties are revealed. I'd blush but I'm too mesmerized by the look on his face as he suddenly tears the shirt apart, sending buttons bouncing in several mad directions. For the longest moment he says nothing, just stares hard at me, eyes darting from one place on my body to the next. My heart races as his eyes seem to get darker. And then he closes them, hands still clenched in fists on the shirt halves.

I nearly chew my lip off in nervousness as the silence stretches out. I don't even think he's breathing. My fingers move just over his and I try to pull the fabric shut, though it's a futile action. I can't budge the material even a centimetre from his clutches, never mind enough to cover anything. He must feel the tugging though as his eyes open and focus on my hands for a second before flashing up to my eyes. Seeing the insecurity building in me, he immediately dispels it.

"You're so beautiful." His words are sweet, but the tone is rough and needy, full of something dark and powerful that I desperately want to get close to. I feel a surge of power through me as well as he lays his hand palm down over my abdomen, his fingers nearly spanning my entire midriff. His thumb brushes the lace of the bra while his pinkie skims the lace at the waistband of the panties, the cold searing me the same way heat would. His eyes skim my body again and the look is hungry, like I'm a meal he's been waiting for and now he's not sure where to dig in first.

Before I lose control, I tug his chin up and put my mouth to his, breathing into him. "Come back upstairs with me, Edward."

He reaches for me but I take a small step back, grateful that he lets me since I only have a few inches between him and the piano. I hold out my hand instead and he surprisingly takes it and allows me to lead him upstairs. The look in his eyes hardly matches someone who follows anyone anywhere. I feel another thrill at the idea that I can control any part of him. So much coiled strength and energy, so much danger, and yet he's mine.

In the bedroom I turn around and put my hand on his chest stopping him in his tracks when I sense he wants to lead me to the bed.

"Do you want me?" I ask, the unfamiliar feeling of bravery and strength making the words come out without a hint of a blush in their aftermath. I'm tingling from head to toe and it only grows worse with the way he looks at me.

"Very much," he answers, taking a bold step forward and forcing me to take one back. Oh, this isn't going to be easy, I think suddenly. I quickly suppress the urge to bite my lip. If I show any sign of weakness, it's all over. I know it. Edward is every bit the predator and the lion is never submissive. Especially when he's standing in front of a lamb.

"Do you trust me?" I move forward this time, taking back the step I lost and one more as well. He looks surprised by the question and I take the opportunity to close the final gap, reaching out and taking a hold of the belt loops on his jeans.

One of Edward's hands come up and cups the side of my face, "Of course I do, love. What a silly question."

I smile and use the belt loops to tug him forward until he's following me as I lead him away from the bed to the other side of the room, walking backwards until I come up against the wall.

He looks uncertain now as he arches an eyebrow at me in question. I take advantage of his momentary confusion, steeling my resolve and dropping my hand to the button and zipper of his pants.

One quick tug and I have them undone.

. . . . . .

**EPOV**

I'm not sure what surprises me more. Bella's lingerie or her actions. The delicate scraps of material covering her are my favourite shade of blue against her skin, and the way they hug the places on her body that they barely cover is beyond pleasing to the eyes. If I was mortal I'd be panting, as it is I can't get enough of her scent in my lungs. Floral skin and blood combine perfectly with the lingering scent of me and the nearly non-stop sex we've engaged in today. It clings to her skin like the finest perfume, calling on my lust like a siren. I like that she smells like us. I like it very much.

When she guides me across the room the look in her eyes is both provocative and alarming. She's not usually so bold, and I cannot decipher why she's leading us away from the place I very much want her. The bed.

Had I misread her signals?

She's dressed to seduce...

Her fingers on the fly of my jeans end any doubt I might have had about her actions. Gritting my teeth I allow her to continue, but only by fisting my hands and pressing them to the wall above her head. The drywall gives with an ominous creaking sound and I move them outwards searching for the studs. Not that the wood will provide much better in terms of resistance, but at least its more solid feel doesn't instantly cave.

I hiss her name when her fingers scrape lightly over my lower abdomen as she works the button and zipper, trying to warn her and still give her what I sense that she wants.

Leaning forward she rises slightly on tiptoes and presses a soft kiss to my mouth. Her little pink tongue swipes my lower lip and she keeps her eyes open, locked on mine.

"Let me do this, Edward."

Her tone of voice is low in her registry, soft spoken, yet firm. Not a request, a demand. I swallow the venom in my mouth and try not to moan. She's rapidly reducing me to my basest nature. Not at all stable ground for us to be on.

"Bella..." Her name ends on a half growl half groan when her mouth moves from mine to my throat, leaving a damp trail of heat that makes my cold skin feel alive. It's like being bathed in a shower of sparks. When they move down to my collarbones and then lower to my chest, I lock my jaw against a curse.

White hot pleasure erupts everywhere her silken mouth lights upon. When she brushes them over a nipple and her tongue flicks against it, my fingers sink into the dry wall like knives through soft butter. I quickly wrap them around the supporting structures of the walls. Sawdust falls like rainfall as the wood creaks and splinters when her mouth moves to my stomach.

Bella looks up at me with eyes gone dark like molten chocolate, her lashes dropping over heavy lids as she open mouth kisses the skin right above the place my jeans gap slightly. My erection shifts, lengthening even more and the gap grows, baring me easily as I'd forgone underwear when I'd dressed to go downstairs to the piano.

Not that it matters. I'm so aroused by her touch and the feel of her wet lips and tongue making that trail down my body, the tip of my penis has breached the waistband of my jeans. The ends of her hair touch it and I can't keep the curse inside this time. Even that wicked soft, inadvertent touch threatens to undo me.

"Enough," I tell her. If she moves any lower... Oh God, I want her to move lower. My eidetic memory pulls perfect images and remembered sensations from our night in our meadow when I'd allowed her to do such an action. Albeit a very brief moment, it had been beyond pleasurable. A secret part of me has wanted a repeat performance, even as the gentleman and the protector scorn the very thought.

She pauses, but only for a second.

"It's not enough. Let me, Edward, it's my turn."

Lord, she's going to kill me.

No, not me.

Herself.

The wall creaks again and in seconds this whole room could come tumbling down around us, but I can't let go because if I do, I'm likely to grab for her. Whether to pull her closer or push her away, I'm not certain. I am certain however, that in my current state of mind I will crush her.

"You won't hurt me," she whispers as though she's read my thoughts; and now she's on her knees as I scrabble for control. Control I can't find when her hands slide under the gapping denim at my hips, attempting to push the fabric down.

Somehow I get my fingers out of the wood that now bears near perfect grooves, and find the will power to gentle them enough to wrap them around her. They tangle in her hair as she looks up at me, beautiful and wanton and pleading with her eyes. Her hands are still on my hips, but she stops trying to push the fabric down.

"Bella, love..." I swallow more venom and make my hands gentler. With my fingers still in her hair, I run the pad of my thumb over her parted lips, feeling the moist, warm rush of her breath slide over the digit. I can't keep myself from imagining the sensation elsewhere, and nearly groan out loud as I struggle for the control over my strength I need to pull her to her feet. Her eyes continue to plead.

"I want to do this for you," she tells me, still using that soft yet firm tone that curls under my skin and arouses me further, even as I regret that I must deny her.

"We talked about this, love. I can't allow you to do something so dangerous."

"It's not dangerous, you won't hurt me."

My needs war with my mind and the fear that still swirls inside of me like a living entity. She's so close I can feel her breath on me now, so warm against the tip of me that is exposed and still very excited. For the first time I relate to the saying, 'mind of its own', for surely I know this is impossible, but this part of my body cares less for my logic.

My temper flares in frustration and I tip her face upwards, away from the temptation her sweet breath is providing. She licks her lips, and I nearly groan out loud and throw caution to the wind.

"Bella," I grate harshly. "Damn it. I could hurt you. One wrong move..." I could decapitate her, but I can't say it, no matter how much I want to shock her out of this mood she's in. "Look behind you," I snarl wanting her to see the wreckage of the wall.

She ignores my order and the hardness in my voice.

"Will you risk me then?"

I blink, stunned by her question and not understanding it. "I would never risk you."

"If you can't do this, Edward. If you can't control yourself enough to let me do this, to be in my mouth," she blushes prettily but her eyes don't waver, "then how can you be inside my body on our wedding night?"

I groan as her logic finds its home in my all too eager rationale.

"This is more dangerous," I tell her, though I'm not certain it is.

"No, it isn't, and you know it."

I swallow another mouthful of venom, my instincts so muddled by the sight of her it's nearly impossible to think straight. There is something so erotic about seeing her on her knees before me, knowing what she wants to do for me, to me. The way she looks up at me with her eyes pleading and demanding all at the same time. My darkest most secret fantasies come to life.

My hesitation causes those eyes to flare with hopeful pleasure.

"Hold on to the wall," she demands softly.

"I could bring this whole room down on top of us, Bella." My tone of voice is more growl than anything as I try to reason with her, to warn her, even as I desire what she offers. My basest urges are out in the open.

"It's not a supporting wall. I've seen Esme's blueprints for this house, remember?" Her argument is weak, but like a fool I feel my hands rising to the holes I've created, my fingers wrapping around the joists once again. I refrain from applying pressure though. The less I wreck the better.

I'm suddenly even more grateful that the others had chosen to leave the house just before I'd gone down to the piano. I'd really rather not have them hear me destroying walls. The drywall sheets and other supplies I'd recently noticed in the garage, suddenly make all too much sense and seem to seal my fate. My cell phone is silent and my psychic sister is absent. As if I need any more persuasion than the sight of my mate on her knees before me, licking her pretty lips and submissively waiting for my permission to fellate me.

_Christ..._

"Slowly," I tell her, my teeth clenching in a hiss already as her hands push the fabric still covering me away.

"I'll stop whenever you want," she consoles and promises, pressing a heated kiss to my stomach when she takes me in her hand. One stroke of her softer than silk palm and I nearly lose control. Somehow I manage to keep the wall intact, my focus so completely on her and her actions I don't think to allow myself that release of the excess energy screaming now inside of me.

When her mouth finds me, I don't think I can take it. Not the sight of her pink lips kissing first the tip and then the underside, and definitely not the sight of her tongue laving outwards, warm and lush and beyond erotic. But it's the sensation that spirals outwards from her hesitant, innocently unsure actions that are my true undoing. I growl low in my throat and the sound grows louder by the second as Bella becomes braver and surer of herself.

"Bella...Christ..."

Somehow, though I will never know how, I manage not to move, not to thrust or take my hands down from that cursed wall and grasp her head so I can plunge deeper into her sweet, ripe little mouth...

She tears me down. All my will power, all my sense of what is right and wrong, and I'm suddenly nothing but a 17 year old boy existing on pure, unadulterated, blissful sensations. I manage, only barely at first, to hold on to the last semblances of myself.

And then she takes me into her mouth more fully, her fingers wrapping around the base of me, her eyes closing on a purring moan that sends heightened feeling to a near painful level. When she finds a rhythm of tormenting, sweetly heated pull and suck, it ratchets up pleasure to a place I'd never known before in my existence.

This is as close to being inside of her, of fully making love to her, as I have come in terms of feeling and I'm suddenly filled with not only raw desire, but acute tenderness. Such a strange mix of emotions she brings out in me in this moment.

Lust. Oh yes, lust. My spine is on fire, the unusual sense of heat spiralling into my abdomen and groin is tugged and ignited by every wicked glide of her feverish mouth. I could come this second and only the thought of the loss of this pleasure keeps me from doing so.

But more than that. I feel my love for her grow until I ache with it. I feel pride at her stubborn tenacity, and humbled by her convictions that I will not hurt her. Her faith in me never wavers.

My vampire mind processes it all, and still has time to groan her name in a litany of panting exhalations while I marvel that I have no urge to do anything more than to be her willing servant. Even as she services me.

Her clever mouth torments me and she grows braver. I don't think I can stand to be still any longer, but then her eyes open and lift to mine and they're so full of heat I drown in them.

This is Bella, my Bella and she likes what she's doing. Likes what it is doing to me as I groan so loudly it reverberates in my ears and tries to tear me apart.

Or maybe that's the pleasure...

Her tongue touches the underside of me and I feel that now familiar pull deep within that warns I can't hold on any longer. It's too much, that sweet pulling sensation of her hot mouth...

"Stop, Bella... I'm going to come, love, stop, stop."

She pulls her mouth away and the loss of such pleasure nearly makes me snarl, but then her hand encloses me more firmly. The slick moisture she's left behind makes her hand glide over me as she leans away but continues to stroke me, hard and demanding. I want to stop her. Oh God, no I don't, but I should, but I can't.

With a deep growl, I tilt her head back away from me gently and spill across her chest. The waves of my release violently jet across her pale skin and the pretty swell of her breasts, soaking into the lace of her bra.

Mind numbing pleasure wracks me with each contraction so that all I can do is hiss. The sight of my release on her skin, the feel of her small hand pumping me harder and harder...

If I was human that last wave of my orgasm would have sent me to my knees. As it is, I feel oddly adrift as the pleasure fades away.

Bella looks up at me, her breath panting in and out of her mouth as though she's been running. Her heart is beating wild and fast and the pulse in her neck throbs so deliciously. Then she smiles and her eyes close on a moan. I can smell her arousal, sweet, heavy and hot in the air.

"Dangerous," I groan. "You are so bloody dangerous, Bella." I tug the remains of my shirt off of her, and use it to clean my release from her skin before pulling her to her feet and carrying her to the bed. Freeing her from the ruined bra, I settle her weight on top of me and hug her close when she dips her head shyly into my neck.

She relaxes against me after a moment of silence, no doubt having been tensely awaiting my anger. I find I have none to give, though I should admonish her for pushing us again past a most dangerous limit. I'm torn between a desire to do just that and the desire to sing her praises. After a few minutes she lifts her head and regards me warily.

"Are you angry?"

I trace my fingers over her cheek and brush her hair back over her shoulder, holding it there tightly while giving a small tug.

"Yes."

She bites her lip and pales a little.

"And no."

Her eyebrow arches and she tries to move away, but I don't allow it.

"You're so determined to break the rules." I shake my head at her even as I inject a teasing tone to my voice. I cannot be overly mad with her. Not when I understand the driving need she feels to give back pleasure. And especially not when I'd taken what she'd offered so readily.

She sighs and shrugs one delicate shoulder, resting her chin upon her folded hands that lay on my chest. A small, smug smile plays across her mouth, though she tries to hide it by biting her lip again.

"Don't be mad," she requests quietly. A mischievous twinkle appears in her eyes. "Consider it a gift if you want."

I release the last of my tension with a short laugh then tug her face to me so I can kiss her mouth. She tastes like me and it's oddly arousing.

"Did you like it?" She blushes the second the shy, quiet question comes out of her mouth, biting even harder at her lip in her sudden rush of insecurity.

"I should think that the answer to that would be rather obvious." My reply is dripping with sardonic amusement and she smiles around her blush, the smug look returning.

"I fear I'm creating a monster," I tease. After another moment of quiet in which I regard her thoughtfully, I tap her nose lightly and the teasing note leaves my voice. "No more," I tell her, gently but firmly. "We've pushed the last boundary line, Bella."

She regards me warily. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, from now until our wedding night no more risks, no more experiments. It's safe or nothing, love. Take it or leave it."

She smiles softly and moves up to kiss me.

"Actually," she murmurs against my lips, "I was thinking we could..."

I growl warningly and she laughs, her head falling back, the sound beyond beautiful. I pull her back and kiss her until she's breathless.

With a tired sigh she settles against me, reaching out and taking my hand. The last of the late day sunlight spills weakly into the room and she stretches out my arm until the light hits it. Her fingertips slowly trace the patterns of colour reflected back on my skin in the prism effect as I stroke my fingers just as lightly down her back.

I kiss the top of her head and she exhales softly against my chest, growing sleepy.

"Thank you, for today," I tell her quietly. I feel the smile against my skin and she turns her head a little to kiss my chest. Peace descends over me, one I've rarely ever felt in my existence and I hold her closer to me.

As the sun slips far enough down in the sky it no longer reaches the window, I put my outstretched arm back around her, tugging a blanket up to keep her from getting too chilled.

"Only a little more than two weeks and then you'll be my wife," I remind her, and she laughs a little.

"And then all bets are off, Edward Cullen. You do know that right?"

"Mmm," I murmur turning her face towards me again for a deep lingering kiss. "I'm looking forward to it, love," I tell her, and for the first time, the anticipation comes without the baggage of any fear.

. . . . . .

* * *

**A/N **I've posted a link to Debussy's, La plus la quente on my profile page in the DFE category for anyone who wants to take a listen. It's an absolute gorgeous piece of music and very fitting for the mood here.

*****Now, on to the important stuff. DFE has been a WIP now for a very long time. Those of you who've been around since the beginning know that I never intended for this story to be more than 3 chapters in length, hence my affectionately calling it "my lemon monstrosity." Lol. I LOVE writing this and if I had my way, I might never let it go. I know some of you feel the same and I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed sharing it with you guys. That being said, all good things must come to an end and I've reached the point where there is very little left that I can do with this story. My imagination well is running dry and the last thing I want is to ruin the fun, steaminess of this story by dragging it down with an inability to know when to quit. I've made the decision to wrap this story up by writing one more chapter, and then an epilogue.

That being said, in the spirit of how the "lemon monstrosity" was born, I'd like to once again open things up to you guys and write the epilogue based on 'reviewers choice'.

The epilogue _will_ take place during the time spent on Isle Esme during the honeymoon, that's non-negotiable. I'm not into writing vampire Bella, sorry. It's the human vampire dynamic that rocks my particular boat. ;-)

So, here are your choices for content.

**A.** The wedding night. Canon or non-canon. Please be specific. (In other words, bruises and feathers, or no bruises and feathers.)

**B.** The blue room. (canon only)

**C.** Romance on the beach.

**D.** Naughty in the jungle.

**E.** Open for suggestion. (I.e. Is there a missing moment or fade to black scene you'd like to see played out? A moment from those Isle Esme days that started out promising then went south? You know, where you wish Edward had caved? Something you wish they would have done on the island? Etc. Etc.)

I will be making my decision based either upon most popular choice, or the most intriguing suggestion that calls upon the muse for me. ;-) So don't be shy, if you have an idea, share it. With any luck, I'll have things narrowed down and we'll have one final vote at the end of chapter 24.

You're help here, dear readers, would be greatly appreciated. So come out of the lurker's realm if you haven't already and feed the lemon trees. They're going to need extra sustenance if I'm going to end this story with a bang, pun intended. ;-)

Next update, Nov. 25th (approx.)

Aleea


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N Many parts of this chapter are directly derived from Breaking Dawn and the chapter that takes place the night before the wedding. I've altered things quite a bit to suit the story and theme of Defrosting Edward, but at the end of the day we all know this all belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I thank her for being such a generous author that she allows writers like myself to play with her amazing creation. No copyright infringement is intended or implied.**

**Huge thanks to my amazing beta _Octoberland _for all her help with this chapter.**

**Speaking of _Octoberland_, not only is she a grammar queen who is hard pressed to constantly fix my careless errors, she's also an incredible writer in her own right. One who I beta in return. Fanfiction can be a fickle place that doesn't always give writers the support they need to feel valued and appreciated. I've been lucky and blessed enough to have, bar none, the most amazing readers. Time and time again you guys have stepped up to the plate and shown me incredible support and now I'm asking you to help me by doing the same for her. She wants to give up writing and the thought of not getting to read and be a part of her amazing work has me heartbroken. **

**She's recently updated her story Resurrection, which is a great New Moon inspired look at a Bella I think many of us wanted to see, and an Edward that actually has to work to repair the damage done by his leaving. This story starts out slow but quickly gains speed and shows us a more realistic side of the consequences of Edward's actions. It's one of my fave NM fics and absolutely worth reading. Chapter 19 contains my favorite piece of writing ever. An Epov of his time spent hunting humans that literally gave me goosebumps. Please take a minute to add this to your reading list, and more importantly, to show another reader the kind of support you've shown me. Help me keep her writing because trust me, this is someone the Twilight fanfiction fandom cannot afford to lose. **

**I also highly recommend her story Blood Roses, one of the most incredible, sexiest well written, blood play fics around, and her story Kiss Me, which I guarantee will break your heart and then put it back together again in a highly unique way. You can find Octoberland in my fave author list and these stories in my fave stories list. **

**While I've got my pimp hat out, I'm also a pre-reader for Sins of the Piano Man, another sadly underappreciated yet incredible story written by an author of amazing talent. _Solareclipses _owns me heart and soul as does this story. This is an incredible AU story with an original twist on canon that you guys should all be reading. God this girl can write! Again, you can find _solareclipses_ and SotPM on my fav author and stories list.**

**And finally for those of you who like to see our beloved Twilight characters in human form, check out another writer I pre-read for, _les16_, and her story The Greatest Gift. This is the perfect story for the holiday season and features Seth as an angel with the task of guiding Edward towards righting the wrongs of his past and finding forgiveness and love. Again, you can find _les16_ and TGG in my fave lists. **

**Okay, now on to the reason you're all here. :) Some night before the wedding fun. ;-)**

* * *

Chapter 24

Out of the Frying Pan...

**BPOV**

The phone rang just as I threw the lasagne in the oven. I've been up since 5 a.m. finishing off the last of the meals I've been preparing and stockpiling for Charlie. The counter top is covered in dishes in various states of cooling and the freezer is nearly bursting with ones already frozen. I've been cooking all week in between dress fittings and whirlwind sessions with dynamo Alice, trying out various hairstyles and helping to make last minute selections for everything from flowers to music for the wedding tomorrow. The thought of Charlie falling back on old bad eating habits now that I won't be around to cook for him has been my driving force in this cooking venture I'm currently embroiled in. It's also better I've found something to keep me busy than to think too much about what's coming.

I stretch the kinks out of my back and yawn. I'm exhausted. Right now all I want to do is crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head and sleep through the next 24 hours. When I wake up, Edward and I will be on our honeymoon.

"Bella. Alice is on the phone for you," Charlie calls from the safety of the living room, interrupting my daydreams. Other than braving the kitchen to make a cup of coffee and some toast, he's given it, and me, a wide berth.

Resisting the urge to run out the back door and hide, I reach for the kitchen extension.

"Hey, Alice." I try, but I'm not exactly successful at hiding my lack of enthusiasm. Not that Alice is ever in the least bit daunted by that.

"Don't sound so excited, Bella," she laughs, the sound tinkling through the phone like wind chimes in a spring breeze.

"Sorry," I mutter. "What's up?"

"Well, we need to try your dress on one last time, but that's not why I'm calling," she hurries to add before I groan. "I wanted to give you the heads up that Angela's going to be calling you in ten minutes and inviting us all to her house for a barbeque dinner."

I pinch the bridge of my nose, catch myself doing it and quickly drop my hand. I love Edward, but I don't want to be one of those couples that mimic each other's every move until you start thinking you're seeing double. Maybe in a hundred years that will be inevitable, but for now, I'd like to keep some of my identity intact. A volley of nervous butterflies takes flight in my stomach at the thought that in less than 24 hours, I'll be married.

"Alice, I don't know. I'm trying to finish up all these meals for Charlie to store in the freezer..."

"You have time. Besides, maybe I never told you but in all the times I've looked forward into the future, I've never once seen Charlie suffering from starvation or malnutrition." For Alice, this as close as she gets to sarcasm. "Besides," she continues without giving me a chance to comment, "Edward is on his way and he'll help, and Angela has gone to a lot of trouble to do this for you, Bella. Since you refused any kind of traditional rehearsal dinner affair, a barbeque is the best it gets, I suppose. And it's better than nothing." She doesn't sound entirely convinced of that.

My refusal to do a traditional rehearsal has been a sore spot with Alice for weeks now. She obviously had plans that I squashed. Plans that no doubt entailed things I can't even begin to imagine. She promised low key and for the most part has delivered, but she's not above trying to sneak things in when I'm not looking. Really, with that in mind, she's right. A barbeque at Angela's doesn't sound so bad. And this is my last opportunity - aside from the actual wedding tomorrow when I'll most likely be too overwhelmed to enjoy it - to spend time with everyone.

"Alright, Alice."

"Good. Edward will bring you here in a couple of hours so we can do the final dress fitting so I'll see you then."

I hang up the phone with a sigh and stare at the mess in the kitchen, glad Edward is coming to help. With any luck I can distract Charlie enough that Edward can put some of that super speed vampire power of his to good use.

. . . . . .

Alice spins me around a mouthful of pins protruding from her mouth. "You've lost weight," she accuses in a mutter, eyeing me and the dress critically. I open my eyes and leave my happy mental place to view the dress, and myself, in the mirror. It looks the same to me as it did the last time, and the time before that, and the time before that...

"What, like an ounce and a half?" I snark with an exaggerated eye roll.

She moves behind me and a few tugs and pulls that make no discernable difference to me has her at least satisfied. She begins the process of removing me from the dress and I return to my mental happy place where Edward and I are currently walking hand in hand towards the Eiffel Tower in Paris. Since I have no idea where he's taking us for our honeymoon, the location varies from moment to moment depending on my mood. More often than not, I'm not imagining places anyway. I'm imagining us, alone somewhere, anywhere, in a big bed...

"Okay, that about does it. I'll make this little tuck in the bodice and the dress should fit perfectly tomorrow. Provided you don't pig out too much tonight, Bella," she adds warningly.

I open my eyes again and leave Paris behind, gathering my clothes and dressing quickly as Alice vanishes into her humongous closet. "Can I go now?" I ask, trying not to sound ungrateful. I really am in love with everything Alice has done, both with the dress and the wedding tomorrow as a whole. I'm just tired and nervous. God, I'm so nervous.

I stare at the ring on my finger and then twist it in circles, a small smile playing around my lips. It isn't being married that terrifies me any longer. But the thought of the wedding itself? Yep, still terrified of that. I've envisioned a hundred different scenarios, all of them mortifyingly embarrassing, where I trip or stumble or knock something over...

"Quit that, Bella." Alice emerges from the closet having ignored my plea to leave.

"Quit what?"

"Imagining bad things."

"Oh, so now you're a mind reader, too?" I ask with a raised eyebrow running my fingers through my hair to smooth out the flyaways brought on by static electricity.

"Of course not," she huffs. "But each time you imagine something bad happening, you have a tendency to do so in a way that's oddly like making a decision. It's messing with my sight." She gives me a small push towards the door. "Go play with Edward," she demands. "I have a few last minute phone calls to make to the caterers. At least when you're with him, you're distracted enough you don't plot out scenarios in your mind that make this wedding a disaster."

I escape gratefully and find Edward in the living room with Jasper and Emmett, watching them play video games. It's such a normal scene that for a second I'm taken aback. These are _vampires_ I constantly have to remind myself. Vampires playing Call of Duty and cussing each other out like sailors mind you, but still, vampires.

Edward is leaning against the back of the couch, arms folded over the top, occasionally giving strategic advice to Jasper. He looks up when he senses me and smiles that glorious crooked grin that melts me in so many ways.

Emmett drops his controller with a harsh exclamation of several really bad words that has Edward smacking the back of his head. It makes a loud sound like two rocks being smashed together.

"Hey! What was that for?"

"Try to control your language around mixed company, Emmett," Edward replies dryly, coming to my side with an apologetic shake of his head.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry, Bella. Forgot my manners for a minute." Emmett grins at me, clearly showing he's not all that remorseful. Turning back to Jasper he picks up his controller once again which is surprisingly still in one piece.

"Okay, you male genitalia sucking, matriarch fornicating, illegitimate. Time for a rematch! Loser has to wear a low-cut dress and red stilettos to the wedding tomorrow."

"Absolutely not," Edward snaps, while I burst out laughing at the thought. I cover my mouth with my hand when Edward scowls at me. Sometimes I think he takes this wedding as seriously as Alice. For me the idea that Jasper and Emmett might get up to antics means the spotlight won't be on the bride quite so much. All the better in my opinion.

Jasper laughs and sends a small wink my way. "Forget it, Emmett. Alice would tear off my bal...er...boy bits and then refuse to reattach them for at least a week."

"Try more like a month," Alice informs him coming into the room. She has a phone attached to her ear and murder in her eye which I'm assuming means she's just 'seen' something that she doesn't like. "And you?" She points at Emmett. "I promise I will tell Rose every stupid thing you are going to do for the next ten years, and trust me, I've seen some really stupid things."

If a vampire could turn pale, I think Emmett might. He leans over and smacks Jasper on the back of the head, the sound identical to the one made when Edward hit him. "Way to get me in trouble, Jazz."

While the rest of us laugh, Emmett gets up calling Rose's name, probably to apologize for things he hasn't done yet. Alice disappears back upstairs with Jasper right behind her and Edward tucks me in even closer to him, turning my body so he can wrap both arms around my waist.

He lowers his head to whisper in my ear, his cool breath giving me goose bumps. "Alone at last..."

"Edward! The boutonnieres aren't right." Alice flies back down the stairs, her notebook PC balanced in one of her tiny hands. She points to the screen, flashing it his way so fast I can't really see what's on it. "That flower is all wrong. I did not order those, and the florist is emailing me this picture and telling me she's already completed them all and doesn't have the orchids we wanted even in stock."

Hell really has no fury like an irate Alice. She's actually scary when she's mad and I'm grateful I'm not the florist as I step away from Edward and allow him to handle her. He takes the notebook from her and enlarges the images before sighing and pulling out his cell phone with an apologetic look my way. I smile back, hiding my sadness at the interruption. I feel emotional and needy and blame it on being tired as I drift farther into the living room and collapse on the sofa. From there I listen to the soft drone of Edward's voice as he politely, but firmly, insists that the boutonnieres are remade to the exact specifications he's previously instructed, smiling a little as Alice huffs loudly in the background.

My eyes feel dry and hot, and even my feet hurt. The dull ache in my back from all the bending and standing on Charlie's hard, cold kitchen floor for hours today throbs in time with my heartbeat. I stretch out contentedly on the decadently soft sofa and close my eyes. The last week of hustle and bustle, not to mention the lack of sleep caused by nerves and my early morning spent cooking, have all caught up with me.

I'll just lay here for a minute, I think. Just for a minute...

. . . . . .

EPOV

"There is a florist in Seattle that has the orchids we prefer in stock now," I tell the frazzled florist on the phone after Alice flashes her notebook screen at me with the information. Her fingers fly over the keyboard as she secures the shipment. My attention though is mostly on my exhausted bride to be. She's drooping like a dehydrated flower herself and I'm not at all surprised when she stretches out on the sofa and almost instantly falls asleep.

Crisis averted and my sister once again temporarily mollified, I go to Bella's side and brush a flyaway strand of hair behind her delicate ear. She murmurs something incomprehensible even to my ears and settles deeper into her sleep. I consider taking her upstairs to bed where she'd be more comfortable, and then decide against it for fear of waking her. Between our late evenings spent 'practicing' for our wedding night, her frenetic paced attempts to see her Father well settled, and her restless sleeping where nerves and tension have stolen the better qualities of rest, she's exhausted. With only an hour until we need to leave to be at Angela Webber's house, I settle into a chair with a book to wait out her nap.

. . . . . .

"Edward. There you are. Here, will you take these? I'll bring the rest with me when Phil gets here. Oh, and the salad in the blue bowl needs to be put in the refrigerator," Renee says, filling my arms with containers of food meant for the barbeque. She and Esme spent the better part of the afternoon invading Charlie's kitchen and personal space, much to his chagrin, cooking enough human food to feed a small army. Added to Bella's whirlwind this morning, he's more than a little disgruntled.

"Mayonnaise you know," Renee states while tapping the blue bowl's lid to indicate the contents within. "We wouldn't want your wedding to be hit with a slew of guests with food poisoning, now would we?" She wrinkles her nose and then laughs, hurrying away before I have any chance of forming a reply. Renee's energy could rival Alice's, if Alice were restrained by human limits that is. Her arrival in town two days ago has both delighted Bella and added to her level of exhaustion.

Charlie comes around the corner, his usually quiet mind a little louder today with the stress he feels at having his normally sedate world invaded by so many women with agendas. Today alone he's been forced to sit for Alice and be – in his own words – 'trussed up in a damn monkey suit'. Lectured by Renee and ordered to get a haircut, and even been banished from his own kitchen with not even an offer of a sandwich to hold him over till dinner.

Seeing me he steps forward and offers to take the containers. "There's some room yet in the cooler I put in the back of the squad car," he tells me.

"Perhaps this one, I'm not sure what it is, but it needs to be kept cold apparently," I tell him, handing over the blue bowl whose contents escape me other than the ingredient mayonnaise. He accepts and lifts the lid curiously.

He puts the lid back on quickly. "Potato salad," he advises me, looking a little odd. "Renee make this?"

"Yes, I believe so."

He looks around almost furtively; his thoughts not clear enough to read but the tone of them seeming suddenly anxious. He darts into the now empty kitchen and puts the bowl on the counter, hiding it behind the bread bin before coming back to me and taking the rest of the items.

"You didn't see that, son," he informs me with a slight wink. "Trust me; you don't want to eat Renee's potato salad. That stuff will give you nightmares for a week." He stalks off to his car whistling lightly under his breath and I give in to the urge to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Bella asks coming down the stairs carrying a large, purple, canvass bag full of jackets and blankets for later when the temperature drops. I take the bag for her and then take her hand drawing her to me for a slow, sweet kiss that makes her forget that she'd just seen me laughing.

When I let her up for air she blinks and sighs. "Can't we just skip the wedding and go straight to the honeymoon?"

"Oh no you don't, Miss Swan," I tease, raising our clasped hands and without releasing hers drag the backs of my knuckles softly down her satin cheek. My kiss has brought a flush of the sweetest pink to her skin and the heat against my own is delicious. "I'm going to make an honest woman of you before I steel your virtue, like it or not." She rolls her eyes and comes up on tiptoe to kiss me again. I drop the bag, and her hand, and pull her closer; deepening what she intended to be teasing and light.

My lips press down into the softness of hers and her taste swamps me as her little gasp of pleasure opens her mouth under mine. I can feel every inch of her body. The heat of her skin is all too noticeable today covered as it is by only a small pair of white shorts and a thin cotton t-shirt that hugs her breasts so sweetly it's been making me ache for the last hour. Her nipples tighten in what feels like a direct response to my thoughts, and my palms and fingertips tingle suddenly with the desire to caress them. She makes the most arousing sounds whenever I do and I'd love to hear them now. The soft sighs and breathy little pants. Even better is the sound she makes when I lick my tongue over each sweet little silky tip...

The sound of someone clearing their throat pulls us apart reluctantly. I shield her body with mine in a protective instinct and turn a small glower on the intruder. Luckily Phil is making an attempt to be polite and has his eyes raised like he's inspecting Charlie's soffits so he misses the look that isn't appropriate. Lucky as well that my small growl was too low for human ears. I restrain the instinctual part of me that tends to be entirely too territorial when it comes to Bella, and adopt a more human looking response of mild discomfit at having been caught manhandling my fiancé.

"Sorry, Phil," I apologize smoothly when he stops inspecting the house and looks at us, though I'm not in the least bit sorry, unless one counts being sorry that we'd been interrupted.

Bella steps out from behind me, blushing prettily and he winks at her, his thoughts amused and content. He cares for Bella, though more in a brotherly way than that of a father , and he's pleased to see her as happy as he's perceived her to be over the last few days.

"Your Mom sent me in search of a blue bowl full of potato salad. Charlie says Edward didn't give it to him?"

Charlie throwing me under the bus is quite amusing, though I deadpan a confused look. "I thought I did give it to him, but maybe not..." I feign looking around perplexedly as though searching for the bowl in question. Bella watches me curiously, no doubt wondering how a vampire with perfect recall is unsure as to the whereabouts of a simple bowl of salad.

Phil scratches his chin and looks behind him quickly before turning back with a small wink at Bella. "Well, maybe we'll just assume it's already packed up and on its way then?" he asks with a conspiratorial tone that makes her grin. According to his thoughts, this isn't the first time a dish of Renee's has been deemed better left 'unfound' by the two of them.

He turns to me and mimes pulling a zipper across his mouth with a second wink solely for my benefit before heading back to their rental car where Renee is waiting. She's attempting to get Carlisle to accept one of her homemade carrot ginger muffins for the ride and Charlie is standing behind her shaking his head in secret warning at Carlisle. When Renee turns around to see what Carlisle is looking at, Charlie quickly pretends to be trying to stretch a kinked muscle out of his neck.

"Charlie, honestly. You and that neck. You had that same problem when we were married. Carlisle, you're a doctor. Tell him he really should have that looked at..."

Bella sighs then laughs beside me, the amused sound tinged with something sad as she shakes her head at the scene in front of us. "Some things never change, I guess," she says quietly before looking at me with a smile. "Where'd Charlie stash the potato salad?"

"Kitchen counter behind the bread bin," I reply with a return smile. Her cheeks are still slightly flushed as she hands me the keys to the Guardian. Jasper and Alice have the Volvo and though we could have gone together with them, I liked the idea of having a few minutes alone with her before we get to Angela's house. It seems as though all week our time has been monopolized by things having to do with the wedding and family members. Other than the few stolen moments we've had when I've snuck into her bedroom window late at night, we've had very little alone time.

It hasn't helped that the last three nights have been somewhat of a return to our old ways. Charlie's sleep patterns seem to be almost as disturbed by the upcoming wedding as Bella's, making him prowl the house at odd hours of the night and spend more time than usual watching TV till the wee hours of the morning. Combined with my decision to hunt at every available opportunity, she's either asleep by the time I have a chance to come to her or we've been forced to confine our nightly practice sessions to hungry kisses and over clothing petting. Neither of those things has done much to ease either of our needs.

"Are you ready to go hang out with the humans?" she asks teasingly.

"As long as this human is with me," I reply tapping a finger to her nose gently, "then of course."

She looks a little wistful as she notices we are actually truly alone for the first time all day. Carlisle and Esme's car is the last to pull out of the driveway and the taillights blink briefly before they disappear around the corner.

I lean down meaning to give her a quick kiss and whisper reassurances about how by this time tomorrow we'll be on our way to spending as many days and nights as we please, just us, together. Instead of my lips meeting the soft corner of her mouth where I'd been aiming, Bella turns her head and meets mine with a breathless little moan. Her hands fist in my hair tightly and I drop the car keys to the floor and gather her into me so that not even air can get between us. I press her back to the wall and my thigh between hers, fingers sliding down her skin to the soft place behind her knee and hitching her leg up around mine so I can press against her more fully. I can feel the incredible heat from the apex of her thighs through the thin cotton of her shorts and it drives me insane with the need to touch her there. Knowing how she'll feel, all satin and heat and growing dampness makes the desire to touch her stronger. I can't get enough of how her body responds to me.

Bella whimpers loudly and I suddenly remember that we are standing in her front hall, right in front of an open door. With one quick movement I shut the door and snap the lock in place. With another, I lift her so that her legs come around my waist before carrying her into the kitchen away from where anyone will see us if they come in. We should be leaving before we're missed, but I need to hold her and touch her for a minute more, and propriety can be damned.

I place her on the counter, the height perfect to allow her to keep her legs around me and still return my kiss. Sliding my hand up, I tug her shirt from her shorts and slip my fingers underneath to get at her skin. So warm, so soft. Satin cream under my hand as I sweep it upwards and cover her left breast. One more tug and the cup of her bra is down and I can touch skin even more impossibly soft here than it is on her stomach.

Groaning and not complacent to just be touched, Bella moves her own hands under my t-shirt as well; running blunt, ineffectual nails down my marble hard back like a kitten scrabbling for purchase as her hips press against mine.

She gasps as my thumb brushes back and forth over her hard, tight little nipple and the musky sweet scent of the honey like liquid gathering between her legs floods my sense of smell and taste, even carried to me only by air.

I want my hands on her, my fingers on her, my mouth on her. I want to be inside of her the way I was meant to be, the way we've waited for. The urge makes me nearly feral with desire and it's all I can do to keep my hands gentle on her hips as I pull her closer to the edge of the counter, increasing the pressure and grinding her soft, plush heat against the burning cold ache of my erection.

Bella bucks against me, desperate now for the release of the tension I can feel coiling up tight inside of her. I center my movements for her, pressing firmly but gently in repeated thrusts directly against her mound, rocking my pelvis so that I can feel her firm little clit bumping against me. The pressure of my thrusts has exposed it from its hood, opening the petals of her sex so that even with the barriers of fabric my heightened senses can feel every inch of her grinding over the shaft and head of my erection.

She bites my lip, her smooth teeth feeling more like a graze and I move my kisses down to her jaw and then to the soft place beneath her ear just above the hammer of her pulse. The smell of her floral blood slams into me as I lick that throbbing vein, feeling the flow and ebb of her life beneath my tongue. Venom floods my mouth and a violent urge to bite down and drink deep mixes with the screaming hunger to be inside her.

I freeze, locking down my entire body against the dual dangerous urges and Bella seems to sense my distress instantly. Her frantic movements slow and her hands move from my back to my chest caressing softly like the fluttering of warm wings.

"Edward. Look at me," she whispers with a voice just as soft as her touch. My eyes open slowly though I know they'll be black and I hate that she'll see this side of me yet again.

She smiles, no trace of sadness or fear on her beautiful face. "You won't hurt me," she murmurs, leaning towards me to graze her lips over mine, breathing her sweet breath in my face and mouth. "I love you, don't be afraid."

Her hands move down over my abdomen and then lower, one landing on my hip like a searing, grounding anchor, the other slipping beneath the waist band of my board shorts. The touch of her fingers sends my teeth snapping together so I cannot answer her assurances and brings a growl racing out from deep in my throat. She takes me in her hand, moving slowly, the movement and the sensation almost hypnotic. Or it would be if heavy shards of pleasure weren't splintering my mind and body.

My focus stays on her now, watching her eyes and expression. She bites down on her lip and then parts them with a need filled sigh as her gaze drops to the place she touches. Her thumb runs over the head, gathering the bead of clear, venomous moisture and smoothing it down my length. I drop my own gaze, mesmerized by the sight of her feminine, delicate hand wrapped around me. Sight and sensation combine with her sudden throaty moan of my name. I climax instantly, spilling over her hand and wrist in complete loss of control, though somehow I manage to hold onto my mental faculties enough to drag my hands away from Bella. Charlie's countertop is not so lucky.

When the sensation recedes I'm instantly ashamed. Quick concise movement has me using a warm, damp paper towel to clean Bella's hand and wrist as gentle as I can be, aiming for tenderness and apology in the task. I can't meet her eyes as I try to come to terms with what just happened.

"Edward? Are you okay?" she asks quietly as I adjust her clothes and help her down from the counter. Her heart is continuing to beat quickly in her chest and she has to be physically uncomfortable having been so close to orgasm and then being abruptly denied it, and yet still her concern is for me alone.

I trace one cool finger down the high colour in her cheeks that spreads beautifully down into a flush of pink above her breasts. "I'm fine," I tell her. A half truth, but honestly my emotions are whirling in a constant state of change and flux. "I'm sorry, love. I don't..."

Sighing, I rest my forehead against hers and then kiss her. She shivers so I unclench my fist and pull her closer. She comes easily, no sense of restraint or self protection as usual.

"Give me a minute. I just need to clear my head and then I'll take care of you. You must be aching."

"I'm fine," she replies and I can't help the rueful half smile that tugs at my lips. I've just said the same thing, and like my claim to that exact thing, I'm sure she's only telling half the truth.

Just then I hear a car start down Bella's road and catch the quiet tenor of Charlie's mind as he heads back to the house.

"You're Father is coming back," I tell Bella, oddly grateful for the reprieve.

Bella's eyes widen and she looks around quickly seeking out any sign of our activities that might need to be eradicated.

"I've got it," I ease. "Why don't you take a human minute and I'll meet you in the car."

She nods and darts for the stairs while I double check everything and move a few items to cover the crack at the back of the counter that I'd created by pulling it away from the wall. I'll need to fix it, but for now Charlie shouldn't notice. Next I hurry outside, start the car and pretend to be putting the blankets and jackets in Bella's purple bag in the trunk by the time Charlie pulls in.

He gets out and nods at me. "I came back for the damn potato salad," he mutters. "Renee's on to me," he explains.

"In the kitchen behind the bread bin where you left it," I reply with a laugh that he would see as false if he knew me better. Which thankfully he does not.

"Where's Bella?" I thought you two would have left by now." His brow furrows and I don't need to be able to hear what he's thinking to know it. He's slightly suspicious, though he's thinking there isn't much to be said or done considering we'll be married tomorrow.

"She's just in the washroom," I tell him and he nods, appeased and thinking about women and their small bladders and constant primping.

Charlie, always a man of few words heads for the house, passing Bella on his way. I move to sit in the car and Bella joins me.

The ride to Angela's is a quiet one, but she does let me hold her hand.

. . . . .

BPOV

I watch Edward as he adds more firewood to the Weber fire pit as nonchalantly as anyone else, as though fire isn't the one thing that can destroy him. I suppose the absence of anyone looking to dismember him makes fire much less of a threat though.

Angela's twin younger brothers flank him, one on either side. They attached themselves to him within moments of our arrival for some reason. With that special unaffected way of seeing the world that all children have, they seem to be more aware that he and the other Cullens are something other and therefore worthy of fascination. That awareness had made them somewhat nervous about something they lack the ability to name or discuss, but Edward has managed to turn their slight fear into adoration.

"Should we get more firewood, Edward?"

He smiles at the one on the left who'd spoken, I can't tell them apart, but he seems to have no trouble. "No, there's more than enough now, thank you."

The little boy beams as though Edward had just given him some huge praise or gift rather than simply acknowledging the messy pile of sticks they'd gathered from the yard, some still with leaves attached.

The one on the right grins while rubbing a dirt smudged nose before pointing at one of the sticks with pride. "I pulled that one down from the big tree in the front. It's a good one, right, Edward?"

Rather than tell him the stick is too fresh to burn effectively, Edward merely agrees. He's slightly awkward with them and I see his eyes widen and blink when one of them suddenly leans against him with a loud yawn, small hands stuffed into grubby pockets. Reaching down he gives a gentle but restrained pat to the mop of dark brown locks slightly sweat dampened from their wood gathering adventure. The other twin copies the action of his brother and receives the same hesitant pat before Edward stills, apparently prepared to play leaning post indefinitely.

"He's good with kids." Renee crosses her legs and tips her head back to the starry night sky from her place in the lawn chair beside mine. The overcast day has given way to a clear night and the stars shine like diamonds in a sea of black. "Do you think you'll have a family some day? Not too soon mind you, but later, after college?"

Despite her words being very quiet and meant for my ears only, I see Edward look my way and silent understanding passes between us. His, conveying regret and apology, mine, conveying acceptance and a certain sense of relief. I've never felt like mother material. Maybe it's all those years spent being the mature one and caring for her or Charlie, or maybe it's just not in my nature. Either way, I don't feel sad at the idea that there will be no children for Edward and me. Maybe that's what makes me say what I do, or maybe it's the spiked sangria punch I've had three glasses of, courtesy of Mike and Jessica who managed to sneak it under the radar of the adults and one police chief.

"Looking forward to grand kids, Mom?"

She laughs, still watching the stars. "Perish the thought, Isabella Marie. I'm too young to be a grandmother ." She drops her gaze from the stars and turns it to me, her features warm but a little wary. "Not that I don't ever want them."

I can't help but shake my head at her with a rueful smile. I can still feel Edward watching me. "Edward and I can't have kids, Mom."

She looks over at me, surprise clear in her face. "What do you mean?"

I shrug. "Um, just that. We can't. Edward was really sick when he was younger." Not a lie that one, and I find myself looking over at him again. The fire makes his eyes look very dark and his skin very white. A dark angel watching me intently. More passes between us. Acceptance, love, regrets, heat and need. So much emotion it makes me ache. "He nearly died," I say softly, feeling my throat tighten up at the thought of how true that is. How if Carlisle had not changed him, he and I would have never met. Emptiness wells up inside of me at that thought. It's all I can do not to get up and go to him to reassure myself in the strong cold arms he'll wrap around me that he is real, and here, and mine.

"I'm sorry," Renee says quietly. "I didn't know."

"It's okay," I tell her, managing to break the spell between Edward and me to look back at her with a reassuring smile. "I'm not sad about it, at all."

She reaches out and squeezes my hand. "Nowadays I don't think anyone can say never anyway when it comes to something like that. And you can always adopt. Look at how wonderfully that turned out for Carlisle and Esme?"

"True," I reply, squeezing her hand back and not letting go. I don't know why I'd said anything at all, but I don't regret that I did. It felt good to say something honest for once to her. I look back over at Edward and he's still watching me. I can't read him now, his face closed and impassive again as it's been for most of the day since our time alone at Charlie's.

I know he's upset about it. Berating himself no doubt in typical Edward fashion. I've been forced to let him stew, too busy in forced socializing to corner him and make him to talk to me so I can only speculate about what had happened. I'm guessing my blood overwhelmed him. That he'd had a moment of instinct to bite and drink that had terrified him. The fact that he hadn't even come close to doing it as far as I could tell should have eased him. But he's nothing if not hard on himself, rationale finding no place in anything he sees as weakness when it comes to my safety. I can only pray that he isn't changing his mind about trying. Or that he isn't changing his mind about us.

That little knot of fear that has been sitting in my stomach all afternoon and evening gives a lurching twist, tightening and making me glad I haven't eaten today. Memories of him leaving me that day in the woods come flooding back and a cold sweat breaks out over my skin.

Would he do that now? Again? Would he decide it was just too dangerous and he needed to save me? Was I going to be left at the altar? Humiliated and broken beyond repair? I won't survive it this time? I won't...

"Bella?" Renee's voice pulls me out of threatening panic, tinged with worry. "Goodness, you're as white as a sheet. What's wrong?"

Edward's gaze had dropped down to the fire but it snaps back up as soon as Renee speaks.

"I'm fine," I lie, covering the tremor in my voice with a small cough and pulling my hand from hers before she becomes aware of how damp it's become. "Just tired, I guess." I smile at her as I get up and Renee as usual is easily fooled as she stands as well.

"Well of course you are. Maybe you should go home and get some rest, honey. Phil and I are going to head to the hotel soon as well. It's been a long day for everyone, and I dare say, tomorrow will be even longer." She gives me a teasing wink, obviously thinking I'm not just tired but also having a case of night before jitters.

A loud yawn heralds Emmett's arrival and he swings one huge arm around my shoulders nearly knocking me down. "Yeah, everyone's getting beat. And don't forget, Bella. Jasper and I are going to kidnap your groom to be for awhile tonight. Bachelor party." Jasper joins him, Alice at his side, and they bump fists grinning lightly. Alice reaches for my hand and squeezes it in her icy fingers. She's smiling with warmth and understanding, but no worry or concern. Maybe my fear had triggered a vision of me having a breakdown moment and she seems like she wants to comfort me.

"Tomorrow _is_ going to be a long day, Bella. Long but wonderful," she amends, emphasis placed strongly on the wonderful. Her secretive way of reassuring me, combined with a warm feeling of calm that descends like a blanket with Jasper's quick wink, eases the last traces of panic trying to clutch at me. "And you need to get some beauty sleep. I don't want to see any bags under your eyes tomorrow, Bella!" Alice adds in her usual bossy wedding planner tone.

I roll my eyes at her and then feel Edward's arms wrap around me from behind. He places a cool kiss on my neck and I sink back against him suddenly so exhausted I could curl up right here and sleep. Emmett lets go of me when Edward shoves him away, drawing me closer still so that I can feel his entire body pressed against my back. Cold and solid, and very reassuring, just as I'd known it would be.

Renee reaches out and cups my face, kissing my forehead lightly. "Yes. We can't have tired eyes on your wedding day, Bella," she laughs, backing up Alice. "Edward, take her home, she looks like she's about to fall off her own feet." Spinning around she fixes a gimlet eye on Emmett and then Jasper wagging her finger at both of them. "And no pranks you two," she admonishes. "The no tired eyes rule goes for the groom as well. I've seen all those bachelor party movies. He needs to be at the altar on time and fresh or you two will answer to me!"

Jasper grins and gives her a slight courtly bow of his head, his southern accent coming out in full charm. "Yes, ma'am," he murmurs and Renee actually blushes and looks a little dazed. The expression grows when Emmett too pours on the charm.

"Don't worry, Renee," Emmett adds smoothly, flashing his amber eyes and dimples, his voice oozing warmth and sincerity as he catches her hand and kisses the back of it flirtingly. "My pretty boy brother will be on time and at his prettiest. Marrying your lovely daughter is the smartest thing he's ever done. Rest assured none of us will let him forget it or be so much as a second late." Renee blinks and Emmett takes her arm and links it through his. "Now, why don't we go find that husband of yours, gorgeous? Let him know he's got a little competition..." He leads her off, her girlish giggle as she smacks playfully at his arm but makes no move to extricate herself, making all of us smile.

"So, Renee. Did you ever hear the story about me and the bear..."

As they walk away, all of us rolling our eyes as Emmett launches into a slightly altered rendition of how he met his demise, Alice moves to kiss my cheek and whisper in my ear. "Everything is going to be fine, Bella. I promise."

Then her and Jasper are gliding away to thank Angela and her parents, and help gather stuff together as I lean even more into Edward who tightens his arms around me gently.

"Shall we make our good-byes as well?" He asks.

Turning, I look up at him and nod. "If that's okay?"

Cool fingers brush my cheek and then over my bottom lip. His usual intoxicating smell mingles with the scent of wood smoke and pine sap from the green tree branches the twins had brought him. "It's fine," he replies and I can see worry in his eyes. "You didn't eat, are you not hungry?"

"No."

He doesn't fuss about that for once, just nods and begins to lead me away. I hug Angela and we both thank her parents. The twins reappear and hover near Edward who is sure to spend a moment saying goodnight to them and thanking them for their company and help with the fire. They beam like someone lit them up from the outside in and watch him in rapt fascination, following us around as we make our final good-byes.

I feel like I don't breathe until we're in the car and on the road. My shaky exhale has him looking over at me and reaching for my hand.

"I'm sorry."

I look back at him. "Why?"

"For today. For earlier."

"Edward..."

"Hear me out?" he asks quietly.

"Okay."

"I lost control..."

"No you didn't," I interrupt, irritation flaring up inside of me. Edward looks back at me coolly and falls silent. He turns the car down a side street and parks at the end under a huge tree so that it's hard to see his face in the dark. "I'm sorry." It's my turn to apologize and I do it softly. "I won't interrupt again, go ahead."

He's quiet for a long breathless moment that has my heart squeezing in my chest like it's caught in a vise grip and breaking my promise not to interrupt.

"You didn't hurt me, Edward."

His eyes flash dangerously, that much I can see even in the gloom. "Do you think the lack of injury should make me...happy?"

"Yes," I answer immediately, rushing on before he can form a retort. "It means you controlled your instinct to... bite or whatever it was. It means exactly what I always say it means. You won't hurt me, Edward. You never have, not once, and you won't. How many times do you have to prove it to yourself before you believe it?"

He looks startled by that, and for once it's me giving him a moment to think and absorb what's been said.

"You can't control your instincts, Edward," I continue quietly after a moment. They'll always be there, I know that. All you can control is what you do with them, and time and time again you deny them and stop yourself from ever hurting me."

He's staring out the window and that combined with the dark makes it impossible for me to know what he's thinking. Needing to be closer to him and hoping he won't push me away, I release my seatbelt and rise up to sit on my heels on the seat facing him. Reaching out I turn his face so he has to meet my gaze.

"Look at me, Edward. I'm fine. You didn't hurt me. Not at all," I repeat. The words are all I have, but I don't know if they're enough.

He exhales harshly and closes his eyes. "Thank God for that," he mutters, more to himself than I think to me. When his eyes open again immediately after, I can see the torment clearly. "You have no idea, Bella...It's my greatest fear," he hisses. Anger at himself and what he is laced in every word before it fades to something softer and more desperate. "To hurt you in any way. To take moments as beautiful as those when I'm loving you physically and taint them with this monstrous impulse to harm you... It does not bear words the horror I feel at both the instinct and the possibility of such a thing."

"I know," I tell him quietly, because there is nothing else to say and because I do know.

He smiles a little at that. A small minuscule crooked tug at the corner of his mouth. Taking my hand that still rests on the side of his face he kisses my palm and then my wrist. Unable to bear space between us anymore I clamber awkwardly over and into his lap, banging my knee against the steering wheel.

He chuckles at my 'ouch' and muttered oath, and wraps his arms around me to help settle me against him. I bury my face in his cold, marble-like neck, surreptitiously inhaling his sinful scent and trying to find comfort in it. He seems to sense my need because his arms tighten around me, allowing me to get closer still.

"I'm sorry," he says again.

"I thought we covered this," I reply, my voice muffled by his skin is still a bit petulant in tone.

I feel his smile in the tightening of his jaw that brushes my cheek. "I ruined your day. I could feel your worry. You didn't even eat."

"Alice told me not to pig out or my dress won't fit tomorrow," I lie.

He makes a scoffing sound in the back of his throat that I feel in my lips when I kiss him there.

"Are you going to leave again?" I ask, forcing the question out of my own throat which suddenly feels as dry as the desert.

I feel his surprise in the way his whole body goes completely still. "What? No!" The shock in his tone mollifies me more than the words. He'd obviously not even been contemplating it.

His body doesn't relax, but mine does. "Are you going to back out of our agreement to try?"

He does relax then and he sighs as well. "I should. If I was smart I would."

I lift my head to look at him, unable to keep the scowl off my face as my fingers clench in his shirt. His smile this time is the genuine full-fledged crooked deal.

"If I thought you wouldn't renege on your end of the deal and leave me at the altar, Miss Swan, I just might." He's teasing me which has to be a good sign that the storm has passed.

"A deal is a deal, Mr. Cullen" I tell him, curling back in around him.

"So it is," he replies, kissing my hair while one of his hands runs up my back and under my hair at the nape of my neck. He rubs cool soothing circles into the tense muscles he finds there and I relax against him feeling beyond tired.

"I should get you home before Charlie worries," he says after a period of soothing quiet so long I'd almost begun to fall asleep. My arms tighten around him even as I nod.

"Yeah, and you have a bachelor party to get to." The idea of him leaving even to go be with Jasper and Emmett unnerves me and he must feel it.

"There's time still," he murmurs, using one cold finger to tip my chin up so he can kiss my mouth. It's a soft, undemanding kiss that lingers and burns so that I'm breathless by the time he lifts his head with a small smirk when I blink at him from the dazed place he's put me in.

"I'm not averse to driving with you on my lap, love. But you may be more comfortable back in your own seat," he teases when I don't move.

Blushing, I once again awkwardly scramble back and buckle in as he begins to drive with a light laugh at my expense.

Back home he insists on warming me a piece of the lasagne I hadn't yet frozen while I shower. Charlie joins us at the table seemingly in good spirits and joking with us about whether we're ready for tomorrow. Eventually he goes to the living room to catch the last few minutes of some game while Edward and I go through our pretend ritual of saying good bye at the door.

Ten minutes after that, I've cleaned up the kitchen and said good night to Charlie who thankfully doesn't seem inclined to do anything more than wish me a good night's sleep and give me a very brief one armed hug. I can sense the emotion in him simmering just under his usual quiet, closed off demeanour, and I get that tomorrow will be hard in a way for both us. Still, true to style, he and I won't talk about it and I'm grateful we don't need to.

Edward is already waiting for me in the bedroom, half laying half sitting on the bed with his back against the headboard. He smiles softly and holds out his arms and I don't hesitate at all to go to him.

It isn't long before we're both lying down, our lips moving over one another's, our bodies close together. Or as close together as we can get seeing as how Edward has me wrapped up in an afghan since my traitorously warm human flesh became stippled in goose bumps from his cold skin.

At least he doesn't have a shirt on. I take full advantage of that and trail my fingers up and down his bare chest that feels like sculpture.

Our movements are slow, unhurried and without pressure. I can feel the usual ache between my thighs as his delicious mouth moves down my neck, pressing more firmly to the place just under my ear that makes me sigh, but I don't make any move to do anything about it. By this time tomorrow, with any luck, Edward and I will be on our way to our honeymoon. I'm more than willing to wait.

Edward doesn't seem to feel the same way. The afghan suddenly is gone from around me and his lips are more urgent against mine. Cool fingers inch under my t-shirt, gliding over the bare skin found there and moving upwards, slowly but surely.

My entire body begins to sing in response but even though I want him, desperately if I'm being honest, I push against his shoulders and he stops instantly. His eyes are dark with desire when his gaze meets mine curiously.

"Jasper and Emmett are probably going to come looking for you soon," I say by way of a weak explanation for stopping him.

"Not if they value their limbs," he intones dryly, dropping his head back down to kiss my collarbones, his fingers now just beneath my left breast.

"I'm already anticipating being the butt of many jokes when we come back from the honeymoon, "I moan breathlessly. "Let's not give them a reason to start early."

He chuckles. "Your lips are saying no, but your body? Hm, it's saying something very different to me." He sweeps his thumb over the already very tight peak of my nipple making me gasp. He lifts his head and does it again, like he wants to watch my expression this time. He nuzzles my mouth with his, groaning when I can't quite keep myself from arching against him. "I left you unsatisfied today, a purely selfish and unacceptable action." His voice turns velvet and his sweet cool breath intoxicates me way more than the sangria punch I'd had earlier. "Let me rectify that, love."

I'm very tempted to say yes. Instead I push against him again. "You'll have days ahead where you can rectify that," I joke. "And I'll fully expect you to."

Edward cocks his head to the side, one eyebrow rising to disappear under a lock of hair that has fallen down over his brow. "Are you saying no to me, Bella?" There's an edge to his voice that is a little surprising and I realize Edward doesn't like to be told no.

"I guess. I mean it is the day before we get married. It feels a little like we should...I don't know...hold off?"

He laughs quietly at that. "That isn't what you were saying earlier in the kitchen."

I blush and roll my eyes. "I got caught up in the moment."

"And you're not caught up in the moment now?" His smirk tells me he knows I am. Damn vampire senses.

"Edward..."

He moves off of me to lie on his back at my side with his arms crossed under his head. I sit up and look down at him. His expression isn't one I can read.

"Are you mad?" I ask surprised and nervous.

He moves one arm out from under his head to reach up and remove my bottom lip from under my teeth. "I don't believe I like you saying no to me, Bella," he confirms, his eyes, still dark with desire, flashing even darker with this new emotion. I'm suddenly flat on my back again and Edward is above me, an arm on either side of me trapping me where I am. He rakes my entire body with a very hot, possessive look that makes me nervous but even more, it excites me.

"No. I don't believe I like it at all." He drags the words out slowly, his eyes moving back up to find mine before he lowers his head to give me a near bruising, very demanding kiss. He breaks it abruptly, his breathing calm and even where mine is ragged and gasping. "Don't make a habit of it, love," he breathes, unmistakable, serious warning in his tone. And then he's gone. It takes my befuddled head a second to catch up and see that he's moved off the bed and his putting his shirt back on. I'm instantly regretting saying no and nearly ready to cross the room and yank that shirt back off.

I manage to get back on my knees. "Are you leaving?"

He smiles as though he's very aware of my change of heart, which he no doubt is. My body is screaming.

"My brothers are on their way. Apparently my bowing out of tonight is not an option. Luckily for you."

"Or unluckily for me," I mutter under my breath. He moves back to my side and kisses me again, softer this time, as the eerie sound of diamond hard fingernails scraping against my window fill the room.

"Send him out, or we're coming in after him, Bella." Emmett's voice drifts out of the night as eerie as the sound of his unnatural nails on the glass.

"Until tomorrow, love," Edward murmurs with one last lingering kiss. He pauses, his expression turning intent as he cups my face gently. "I can't wait to call you my wife," he growls lightly and then he's spinning around in a blur and flashing out of my window.

I hear a loud thump and a grunt from Emmett, followed by Edward's soft laughter. Jasper appears in my window with a warm smile.

"Sleep tight, Bella. Don't let the bed bugs...bite." He winks. "Save that for my brother." His joking words are followed by a warming rush of contentment that makes me instantly sleepy and then he too is gone.

Alone, I curl under the covers and try very hard to hang onto that feeling.

* * *

**A/N Ooh, Edward doesn't like being told no. ;-) Anyone else find that a total turn on? **

**Thanks to everyone who chimed in with a preference for our upcoming epilogue. I didn't get a chance to respond to everyone (sorry) but I carefully paid attention to all the comments and non-canon wedding night won by a landslide. I'm going to try and incorporate a little something extra, but we'll see how it all comes together.**

**Okay, my lovely readers. You guys are beyond incredible at showing support and I need it now like never before if I'm going to do our epilogue justice. Hit that review button and feed the lemon trees. Let's try to get a bumper crop so I can take our delicious lemon monstrosity known as DFE, out with a bang. Pun intended, lol. ;-)**

**Oh and I'm now on twitter. (aleeab4u) Come follow me and let me follow you. :) I'm just learning this whole twitter thing, but I'll be tweeting updates notifications and heads ups on some stories I have in the works including a dark delicious Darkward story that I can't wait to unveil...;-) As well as the usual. I can't promise to be very interesting but one never knows. At the very least I'll feel less pathetic if I actually have followers and people to follow, lol. So pretty please?**

**Aleea**


	25. Honeymoon Epilogue Part 1

**A/N** *waves* Hi. So...some of you are probably clicking on this update link and thinking - What story is this? And some of you are probably remembering this story and thinking - What's the point of posting this now!? Who cares, we're gone! Or, something else along those lines, lol. A few of you are probably thinking - It's about time, I've waited forever! And you might even be happy. I'm hoping there is more of you in that category than the latter. *fingers crossed*

I'm not going to blather on with excuses. I have lots; those of you who follow me know all about it, but the bottom line is these characters just quit talking to me. I'm not sure why. Maybe they wanted to keep their private moments private. Whatever. Point is I begged and coaxed and banged my head against the writer's block wall hard enough they finally relented and let me back in. ;)

Truth is, I probably just didn't want to let this particular Edward and Bella go by writing 'the end.' I still don't, which is why this epilogue will be in two parts.

If you're willing to still read, you have my utmost gratitude and appreciation.

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just trying to keep her characters alive a little bit longer in our hearts and imaginations.

**Warning:** The following chapter contains material of the citrus variety. Is it intended for readers 16 and over.

**Reminder: **I asked readers to vote on what type of honeymoon scene they wanted. Non-canon won. I chose to blend a little canon in here as well though to keep the feel of DfE intact.

* * *

**Defrosting Edward**

**~~xx~~  
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Epilogue Part 1

Island Heat

. . . . . .

Isle Esme.

_Isle. _Esme.

_Esme's_ Island.

An _island_. An entire _large,_ beautiful, tropical island. 'A gift to Esme from Carlisle,' Edward said casually when he docked the boat that brought us here, as if describing something average and normal, like flowers or jewellery.

An island!

My jaw hurts from gaping. Even in the dark I can see how perfect everything is. Edward is leading me across a moon-washed beach, my bare feet making imprints in pristine white sand that literally glows under my feet. He's carrying my shoes in his free hand; the overly priced heels with a designer name I can't pronounce aren't exactly beach material.

They aren't exactly Bella material either. The sand under my feet is fine and soft, but even if it wasn't, I still would have taken them off.

I look around, the word gobsmacked coming to mind in terms of my mood. I would have been happy to stay in Rio, I think to myself and almost say out loud. It was amazing, or at least what little I saw was amazing. So colourful—a sensory overload really. There certainly wouldn't have been any shortage of things to do...

I lose the train of my thoughts and gape some more as a house comes into view. I should be far beyond the ability to feel surprise by now. I mean, what did I expect? A cute little beach bungalow? I nearly snort at that thought.

Edward turns back to me, stopping so I'm forced to do the same. I clamp my jaw shut, too aware that standing there with my mouth open is hardly attractive. Tonight, of all nights, I want to be attractive.

I clear my throat and try to act worldly. Instead, my silence and rapid blinking conveys exactly what I am—a fish out of water, and the clichéd nervous virgin bride on her wedding night. I force my throat muscles to swallow over the lump in my throat, offering him a weak smile I doubt reaches my eyes.

"Wow. It's...um...wow."

This house reminds me a bit of the Cullen home in Forks. The same lines, the same large windows that I know will give the most stunning, unobstructed views of the prettiest places on the island, first and foremost the ocean.

"It's certainly...big."

Edward nods at my less than eloquent appraisal, and I realize I'm not the only nervous one. I reach up to wipe a bead of perspiration from my forehead. I'm sticky with the hot humid air and feeling every one of the thousands of miles we've travelled in my stiff muscles and joints. I'm also overwhelmed and incandescently happy.

I grin.

Edward grins back.

I laugh, and his smile turns mischievous—a devilish smirk that only barely preludes the sudden unexpected movement that has him scooping me up into his arms.

I gasp and laugh some more. "What are you doing?"

"Carrying my beautiful bride over the threshold, of course."

"Oh, of course."

"I'm nothing if not traditional." He smiles down at me. Just like that my universe finds its footing, and I fall madly in love with Isle Esme.

How can I not? Blissful endless days and nights stretch out before me. Days and nights spent alone, completely and utterly alone, with Edward. No meddling sister-in-laws, no teasing brother-in-laws, no friends or family members at all—just _us_.

Edward sweeps me through the door and sets me gently on my feet in a large, open space living room. Mainly decorated in soft creams and ivories, splashes of warm corral reds and cool aqua blues add colour, blending beautifully together as though the outside has spilled in.

Someone has been here, I realize as I take in the lit candles on the tables, the soft, well placed lights, some of which are now turned on. An insulated ice bucket sits on a glass coffee table, cooling a bottle of champagne. A gorgeous spray of flawless velvety-red roses lay beside it, their stems tucked inside tiny vials of water. Loose petals are scattered artfully around the arrangements, looking almost black in the shadows the candlelight fails to reach.

I glance at Edward questioningly, wondering if maybe we aren't truly alone after all. He's watching me, leaning against a pillar that seems more artful than structural, his arms crossed over his chest. He looks so handsome. Despite the weight of the rings on my fingers it's still hard to believe he's mine. The warm wind has messed up his hair even more than normal. The dark linen pants and crisp, light blue button-down shirt he's wearing fit him so well my mouth waters a little. Anxious, excited little butterflies take flight in my belly when he moves in that sinfully graceful way of his, coming to my side and running a gentle hand down my bare arm. He links his fingers with mine and watches as his thumb traces back and forth patterns over my rings. His smile is radiant and a little smug.

He looks up when I squeeze his hand, following my lead when I glance at the champagne and flowers with an inquisitive look.

"Carlisle and Esme employ caretakers who look after the house year round. They come in once a week to clean and inspect the property unless told otherwise. I called ahead and asked them to prepare everything for our arrival," he answers my unspoken question.

"Efficient."

He smiles in answer and reaches for the champagne, plucking it from the melting ice and inspecting the label. It's French. I wouldn't be able to pronounce the name if I tried.

"They'll come twice weekly while we stay to clean and bring us anything we might need from the mainland."

"That's not necessary. I can clean." I try to sound practical when what I am is horrified at the expense and the idea of having housekeepers cleaning up after me. And it will be after me. Edward doesn't eat and never makes a mess.

"Don't be silly, Bella," he admonishes gently, wiping condensation and ice water off the bottle of champagne. "This is our honeymoon. I want to spoil and pamper you, not watch you do menial labour. He grins a bit. "Not that those tasks don't have their appeal from a spectator's standpoint, especially when you wear those tiny cut-off shorts that should be illegal..."

I slap at him playfully, careful to do it lightly so I don't hurt my hand. My cheeks get hot remembering the day I spent with him and his family—well my family now, too—putting in a garden for Charlie. Those shorts and his frustration at not being able to touch me were the creative fuel he used to create a stunning bed from branches in our meadow. I remember that night so well that even now I can easily draw on my memory and relive the exact sensation of silk ties around my wrists, Edward's hands on my skin, his mouth...

He changes the subject, though I see his eyes dance with the same memory that makes me blush. "They've stocked the fridge as well, if you're hungry?"

I resist the urge to pathetically proclaim an appetite for things other than food, and settle instead for shaking my head. Food is the last thing on my mind. With my nerves still buffeting my insides, I think it will be a while before I get hungry.

"Are you tired?" he asks next, his tone concerned and gentle. "It was a very long flight."

"I slept nearly the entire time," I remind him.

"Yes, you did." He looks amused, and I roll my eyes at him. It was a crazy, hectic week and our flight took place in the dead of night for obvious reasons. What did he expect? If he wanted scintillating conversation from an alert, energized travel companion, he should have thought of that before whisking me away after such a long—wonderful, but really, _really,_ long—day. I am only human. Between the nerves, excitement and the overwhelming ceremony and reception, not to mention tearful goodbyes to Charlie and Renee and my few friends, I was exhausted.

"I'm not tired now," I insist, when he uses the hand not holding the champagne bottle to skim his thumb under one of my eyes. I probably have mascara smudges highlighting the dark circles that will need more than broken, uncomfortable sleep on an airplane to banish.

I most likely also need to brush my hair; if Edward's looks messy, mine must look like small animals are trying to nest in it. Looking down, I also notice the pretty dress Alice put me in is rumpled. A knot forms in my stomach and doesn't relent despite Edward's light laugh and the kiss he places on my lips that though brief, hints he's not finding me unappealing.

"Would you like some champagne?"

I think about teasing him by pointing out the legalities of alcohol and minors, but if ever there was a moment where I felt less like a minor, this is it.

"I'd love some." I watch him pop the cork, laughing with him when it spills over, splashing a little on his shoes. It smells crisp and sweet and makes the nicest fizzing sound. I'm sure it's outrageously expensive and completely wasted on someone who won't be able to tell the difference between it and the cheap stuff Renee used to buy and let me have a small glass of every New Year's Eve.

Edward puts the bottle down to wipe up the excess, and I decide I need a minute to myself.

"Will you pour me a glass?" I ask him. "I'm just going to...take a human minute."

"Go ahead," he murmurs, rising and kissing my forehead. "Come outside when you're done. We can watch the moonlight on the water."

I nod and point toward the short hall I can see on my left. "There?" I ask, clarifying where I think the bedroom and bathroom most likely are.

"Yes. I'll bring the luggage in, too. Take your time."

. . . . . .

I find the bedroom easily, passing the gleaming, spotless, modern kitchen on my way. It's large and airy with more floor-to-ceiling windows that no doubt have a view as amazing as the living room. I wouldn't know for sure though. My attention is too fixated on the giant white bed in the center.

White, tons of white—white down filled comforter, white satin sheets, white pillows so fluffy they look like clouds. More white cascades down the sides from an elaborate mahogany wood canopy, frothy, gauzy material fluttering slightly in the warm breeze that floats through the open windows.

More roses and more loose rose petals, this time scattered across the white bed. I don't miss the symbolism in the way they show so intensely red against all that white, like blood on snow.

_Or a virgin sacrifice._

Did I really just think that?

I make my way to the bathroom, barely noticing the opulence. My stomach twists and flips, and it takes effort not to hyperventilate.

I don't even know why I'm so nervous. Despite the inappropriate thought I just had, my trust in Edward isn't wavering. After everything we've been through, all our ups and downs and tortured moments, I trust him more now than ever before. In the last few months he's proven what I knew all along, that real intimacy is not only possible between us, it's more intense and beautiful than I ever imagined.

We've had the dress rehearsal. I haven't changed my mind about wanting the real thing. I take a deep breath and look at myself in the mirror. The girl who stares back at me smiles confidently. I find my gravity and sink back to earth.

Outside, waiting for me, is the love of my life, the love of my existence.

"Be brave," I tell myself, then I proceed to whip myself into shape, starting with brushing my hair.

. . . . . .

Edward is waiting for me, exactly as he said he would. A large deck spans the front of the beach house, and he's standing at the waist high railing, looking out at the view. The moon is high and large, emitting a cool silver glow and dappling the water with striations of whites and grays that ripple with the waves. Everything looks serene and magical.

I join him, and he instantly puts an arm around me, gently pulling me into his side. He hands me a champagne flute halfway filled with gold, little bubbles dancing against the insides.

It tastes divine, and I resist the urge to chug. I've never been drunk before; have in fact hardly ever imbibed. Tonight would be a poor place to change that even if my nerves crave a jolt of liquid courage.

"Have you ever had champagne?" I ask him suddenly, aware of the way he watches me drink.

He shrugs. "I believe so yes. It wasn't uncommon in my time for even young children to have a bit of wine or champagne at special events. I can't remember the exact circumstances, but the smell is familiar." He watches me take another sip. "Is it good?"

I nod, letting the flavours slip over my tongue, enjoying the tickle of effervescence in my throat. "It's delicious."

He smiles, pleased. Reaching out he draws my attention to a small dish of strawberries. He plucks a large one free from the others and offers it to me, holding it to my mouth so I can bite. The fruit is ripe and luscious, bursting with sweetness on my tongue.

"I hear these go well together," he comments, eyes fixed on my mouth. A little of the juice escapes the remnants of the berry and slips down my chin. Before I can wipe it away, Edward suddenly swoops down and licks the trickle away, starting at my chin and ending up at my mouth where he seals his lips over mine and thoroughly kisses me. When he pulls back I'm breathless and trembling. It's all I can do to hold onto my glass.

He seems to notice this and takes the glass away from me, his expression playful and musing.

"Hmm," he hums teasingly. "I disagree on the taste of the champagne and strawberries, but you, Mrs. Cullen, are definitely delicious."

There is only a mild breeze, and it's as humid and warm as the still air. I'm suddenly overheated, though I think it has nothing at all to do with the ambient temperature and more to do with that kiss.

Edward places a cool hand on the nape of my neck, massaging my damp skin gently.

"I'd apologize for the heat, but under the circumstances I think it will be beneficial." His eyes dance, and his lips quirk up at the corners. Still, I sense a slight hesitance in him that undermines the teasing. As if he knows I've noticed, his expression turns serious and contemplative. He studies me, searching my eyes and my expression the same way I'm searching his. "I tried to think of everything that would make this...easier."

Reaching up, I tug his hand away from my nape and link my fingers with his. "It's perfect, Edward. I can't imagine a more romantic place to spend our honeymoon."

He glows under my praise, or maybe that's the moonlight, either way, the tense line of his shoulders relax somewhat. He raises the hand I'm not holding and strokes my cheek, cupping my face gently in his cool palm. I see conflicting emotions battle for dominance in the way his jaw tightens and his gaze skips back and forth between my eyes.

"I promised we'd try, Bella..."

"Don't," I whisper, tightening my fingers over his to the point if he were human it would most likely hurt. "It's just me, Edward. You don't have to prove anything, and you don't have to be afraid. All you have to do is love me."

He takes a breath, the deep unnecessary inhale proof of just how nervous he is. My own nerves settle slightly at this realization. I step closer to him, sliding my free hand around his waist, tilting my head up further to see him more clearly. Rising on my tiptoes, I kiss his jaw, his chin, his cheek, and the corners of his mouth.

"It's just me," I repeat softly. "Just us. We'll figure this out together, Edward."

He exhales roughly and clamps me closer, a groan escaping his mouth seconds before he captures my lips with his. His taste fogs my head, and his wicked tongue slips sensually between my lips and steals my ability to breathe and reason. My knees threaten to give out.

Before I can figure out how to move and function and tackle him, Edward breaks away to press his forehead to mine. Our panting breaths mix, and my heart beats double-time for both of us.

"Come for a swim with me?"

I blink, confused. My head can't absorb the words that aren't what I wanted to hear at all.

"Swim? Now?" What I wanted to hear was come to bed with me. Is he trying to put me off? Has he changed his mind?

"The water is warm. I think you'll approve."

The teasing tone is back, but my traitorous self-doubts wonder if it's fake.

He steps backward, forcing me to let go. I watch him. Despite the fact I've had my own attack of nerves on several occasions tonight, it hurts to think he might not want this, might not be willing to try.

"I don't have a bathing suit on," I tell him, not even bothering to try and hide the flat hurt and disappointed tone to my voice.

He takes another step backwards, cocking his head slightly, smirking a little. He glides effortlessly down the stairs, transitioning from hard wood to soft sand without any marked difference in his movements. I see his fingers move up the collar of his shirt and hear buttons sliding out of their fabric holes. Moonlight kisses the skin he bares, painting him in soft almost ethereal light. He looks like a dark angel, wickedly beautiful sin and innocence. The shirt falls to the sand. His fingers fall to his waist band and the button and zipper below.

"There's no one here, love. We don't need swimsuits."

A rasping sound of metal teeth parting heralds a flash of more skin and the darker trail of hair on his lower abdomen. My skin breaks out in goosebumps. He isn't wearing underwear.

Before I can see more, Edward turns away and heads for the water. Darker shadows obscure my view as he moves away from the lights of the house. I catch a better view of him again when he reaches the ocean's edge, naked, before he glides into the water and vanishes completely.

With my heart in my throat and every nerve ending in my body igniting, I force my shaking hands to work, slipping out of my dress and underwear before moving to join him.

It's clear he's not backing out.

Neither am I.

. . . . . .

I hear Bella gasp a second before I dive into the water. I know I've shocked her. I also know I've made her nervous and insecure with my hesitance moments ago. I'm sorry for that, but I needed to slow things down before I ended up laying her out on the hard wooden deck and taking her without the proper romance and care a bride deserves on her wedding night.

I tamp down my anxieties and slice through the water until I reach a suitable depth. When I stand up, the water level reaches just above my waist. I resist the urge to turn around when I hear Bella's clothing slide off her skin. I have a moment's regret that I did not undress her myself, but it passes quickly. Time enough for that later.

If tonight is to be a success, I need to set a slower more careful pace. I cannot let my confidence with how we've been intimate these last few weeks cloud my judgement. Making love to Bella is less risky now that I know so much more about how to touch her and how to control my instincts, but it's still not safe by any means. If anything, all our so-called practicing could be our downfall, especially if I let my pride at my successes lure me into false confidence.

She's no less fragile, and I am no less strong or dangerous. I use the minutes she takes fumbling out of her clothing and making her way through sand that sucks at her feet and challenges her balance to ground myself and put my lust up on a shelf. I want her, so badly. All I've thought about from the moment we left Forks is the way her skin feels under my hands and mouth, the way she tastes and the sounds she makes when her pleasure consumes her and she forgets to guard her actions and behaviours. I've imagined so many times what it will be like to make love to her fully, but I know not even my imaginative mind can measure up to such a sublime, unknown reality.

I hear her feet slip into the water and hear her shiver a little in response. I didn't lie, the water is warm, but of course it isn't as warm as she is. I let my hands sink to my sides, allowing the warmth to penetrate. I cannot be mortally warm for her, but at least this way I'll be closer to her temperature. The water will lower hers and raise mine. Somewhere in between human heat and vampire cold is a happy medium. I'm striving for that now. I want our lovemaking this first time to be as un-jarring and unnatural as possible. I chose to bring her to Isle Esme in large part for the heat. My cold skin will comfort her in the days and nights to come, but tonight, I want to be more like her. More human.

I want her to feel she's making love with her husband with little reminder of my real nature.

I know it's ridiculous. Were I to tell her this she'd be upset and quick to tell me she knows who and what she married, and that she loves me as I am. I know, too, that she has never been repelled by the coldness of my skin. Still, I want this for her.

And yes, for myself as well.

I say a silent last prayer for patience and strength as Bella finally makes her way to my side. I turn my head and manage not to groan through sheer hard effort. I've seen her naked. Kissed and touched and caressed almost every inch of her body, and still the sight of her fills me with unbearable yearning and desire, just like the first time.

I turn towards her, slowly, waiting for her eyes to meet mine.

"It's beautiful here," she murmurs, looking up at the moon and the stars.

"Not half as beautiful as you are."

She smiles and blushes, the scent of her enfolding me like a warm blanket. The fire ignites in my throat, venom filling my mouth so that I'm forced to swallow it down past the pain. It's nothing. Effortless to ignore when all I see is her. Bella, my wife, my life, my soul.

Under the water, I find her hand and begin to walk backwards, drawing her with me this time, leading her out to deeper waters.

Slow, I admonish myself again and again.

Slow.

. . . . .

The water is so warm, Edward was right. It floats over me like a soft touch. I giggle as he scoops me closer, my legs coming up and wrapping around his waist, my arms around his neck, fingers in the hair that brushes the nape of his neck as he keeps us effortlessly afloat. I can't see the shoreline anymore. You'd think I would be worried about that. I'm not. Likewise, I don't worry about sharks or jellyfish or anything else that might go bump in the ocean. I feel safe and happy and deliriously turned on.

Edward kisses a trail up my neck and over my earlobe.

"You smell so good," he groans.

I shiver, well aware that a vampire is at my neck and all I truly care about is that he stays there. Well, maybe not permanently. I have other places aching to be kissed. I tug harder on his hair, trying and failing to pull him to my mouth so I can kiss him back in some way.

He chuckles, and the sound ripples against me.

"Edward," I groan in frustration as his hands slip down my back and cup my bottom, pulling me closer.

"Oh..."

I can feel the hard press of his erection nearly where I want it as he drops his head and kisses over my collarbones. If he doesn't touch me soon, I'm going to combust.

"Please."

"What, love? What do you want?"

"You. I want you."

"You have me, Bella. All of me, always."

I groan, frustrated as his fingers skim the backs of my thighs and his mouth brushes over the tops of my breasts, teasing and never quite giving me what I want, what I need. I let go of his hair and run my hands around to his front. It's his turn to groan as I slide over his wet skin, learning anew all the dips and hard curves of his chest and abdomen. He looks at me as I slowly lean in to kiss him, careful even though what I want is to attack him. I brush my lips across his.

"Please," I plead again.

"Tell me."

"I need you."

"Tell me."

"Edward, please."

"Tell me what you want, love."

"I want you, inside of me," I breathe against his mouth, running my tongue over his bottom lip, beyond shame or pride. I'll beg if he wants.

He groans, loudly this time, the sound curling up into a low growl.

"Now," I tell him. "I don't want to wait anymore. I need to feel you." I'm nervous about this, but it doesn't change how much I want it.

I'm aware of movement, but it's too quick to process. I feel the water, and then the air, and then the soft touch of white, plush fabric as he lays me down on the big white bed.

"Slow," I hear him say, so quietly I'm not sure if he's telling me or talking to himself. Either way, I want none of it.

"No, not slow."

"Bella..."

I drag him down on me when he tries to pull back. I'm aware he lets me do this just as I'm aware I'm probably pushing him too far, too fast. I try to care, but he feels so good over me, and I want, I want, I want...

"Now," I demand, hooking my leg over his thigh, pushing my entire body off the bed and up against him, my hands greedy down his back, moving to his hips, trying to find the perfect point of connection and align us. I'm awkward and grasping, and he's stone still and not breathing.

The haze over my mind fades when I realize this. I let my weight fall back on the bed, my hands falling to my sides, frustrated and worried.

"I'm sorry," I tell him, trying to catch my breath. His eyes are closed, and I ball my fists up, clenching handfuls of snow white sheets, striving for self control. "I'm sorry."

I barely realize I'm repeating myself until his eyes fly open and he kisses me silent. Soft, gliding little kisses.

"Hush, love, hush." He lowers himself down to me, our bodies touching at all points the way I so desperately wanted. "It's all right."

"I'm pushing you."

"No," he answers, one hand sliding down my side to my hip and thigh, keeping me where I am, my leg hooked over his.

"You stopped. You weren't even breathing."

He smiles though it looks a little forced. "I'm trying to pace myself."

"Why?" I realize I sound incredulous when he laughs a little.

"Bella, this isn't a race."

I blush, because to me it feels like it is. I've waited so long it seems, and my nerves make me antsy.

He trails a cool finger down my hot cheek. "Let me do this at my pace, love."

"Is it too much?"

He shakes his head, smiling a little. "It is and it isn't. I want you very badly, but my other...urges...are well in check."

I relax a little at that, grateful I didn't send him into the equivalent of a vampire tailspin.

I reach up and touch his jaw, running my fingers over the almost sharp delineation, marveling at his cool skin and gorgeous face.

My husband.

"I get carried away," I admit, blushing.

He smiles. "I like when you get carried away. I just want to take my time. I want to touch you, love you until you can't breathe for how much you want me. I don't want to hurt you." He looks tortured at the thought that he could, and my heart hurts. This is all so hard for him.

"You won't hurt me, and I already can't breathe for wanting you."

"Love," he breathes, lowering his mouth to mine, soft kisses quickly becoming deeper. He breaks away to let me breathe, peppering kisses over my cheek to my jaw, up to my ear where he whispers, "You haven't come for me yet tonight, Bella. I want that first."

I shiver all over.

"Cold?"

"God no." I'm hot, boiling. His words just made it worse. I feel starved.

"Good." He shifts slightly, his movements bringing me closer as his kisses move down my neck.

"I want...oh," I lose the train of my thoughts when he finds a sensitive place halfway down. Trying my best to focus, I grit my teeth a little to keep form moaning. "I want...us, I want to...do that together...with you inside me...Edward."

He seems to interpret my disjointed mutters, lifting his head and brushing my hair to the side, freeing more skin to be kissed. His expression is gentle, knowing.

"It's your first time, love. It doesn't always happen that way."

I blush hard and shake my head. I know that, really I do, but it doesn't matter to me.

"It matters to me," he says, like he's read my mind, though most likely he just knows me well and is interpreting my head shaking.

A cool finger caresses my warm cheek, soothing the burn of my embarrassment. I start to protest again, but he kisses me quiet, and really this kind of torture is the sweetest kind.

I give up and give over, letting him have the control he so obviously wants and needs.

. . . . .

Bella acquiesces sweetly, settling and relaxing against the bed. I know what she wants, but I also know what I need. She's taxing every part of my self control. The burn in my throat is hotter, harder than it's ever been, and while there is no part of me that wants to bite her, I worry about instinct and nature kicking in.

I worry even more about getting carried away and hurting her with my strength.

I need to take the edge off, for both of us.

Very carefully, I trail my fingers down her body. Her breasts fit my palms like they were made for them. Her nipples tighten, and I drop my head to lavish them with attention, the sweet tips firm under my tongue.

She moans and arches, and I slip my hand between her thighs and over her. As I suspected, she's warm and wet, but not nearly ready. I can feel how tense she is and taste her nervousness in the air she releases on a sweet gasp. I cup her, letting her heat saturate my palm, pressing the base of my thumb against her, rocking lightly before sliding my fingers up, opening the tender outer lips of her sex.

She feels exquisite. I growl in approval as she grows wetter with my touch, letting her thighs fall open as I skim the opening of her body, drawing her honey up to her clit. She's swollen there, perfect.

When she moans my name, I circle that bud slowly, using the lightest touch, wanting to make her arch and squirm. She pants and trembles as I slide down and press inside, one finger then two. I feel her stretch around me, silk and tight and, God, she's perfect. I use my thumb on her tender little clit now, finding that rhythm I know she likes best.

Her heart pounds and races, the sound better than any symphony I've ever heard. Her moans are nearly constant, soft whimpers and exhalations that convey her rising pleasure. Her hands roam my arms and shoulders, clenching down on my muscles every time I press inside, a delicious little gasp escaping her mouth each time I slide out.

She's melting and clutching at my hand, tight and so deliciously warm. I can't help wonder what it will feel like to finally, _finally_ be inside of her. My erection aches and strains, and the impatient part of me wants to be in her now, but I need her to come first. I need it.

It will ready her body and ease my mind.

It will remind me how fragile and precious she is.

It will center me and fill me with heat and pride.

It will also burn me alive in the best way, making me so hot I won't be able to stop myself from taking things to the next, natural, level. I need the courage so I won't break my promise, for the truth that I'm hiding from her is I'm terrified.

She's never felt more fragile to me, more precious. I've never felt like more of a brute, capable of atrocity.

I kiss her mouth, drawing in all her uninhibited cries, moaning my approval.

"Yes, there, love, right there," I groan when she scrapes her fingernails down my sternum. "You feel so good. Let me feel you come for me, Bella. Let go." She's right on the edge, fighting it like she always does that first time, resisting, like a part of her struggles to stay in control. I don't let her resist. My fingers move faster, deeper, pressing further inside of her than I have before, _faster_, stroking the sensitive nerves on her upper wall. It's always a bit of a fight to make her come the first time. The sweetest struggle between male and female occurs here in this moment.

She cries out, louder, tensing. I run my thumb over the very tip of her clit, back and forth, quick and demanding, knowing how sensitive that is and swallowing her final cry as she begins to shake and come apart in my arms.

I've won and her pleasure is the most decadent prize.

Beautiful.

I don't let her catch her breath. I don't even let her orgasm fully complete before I'm up, over her, my fingers still caressing her as I push her thighs further apart. I struggle for control and grasp proverbial thread that is weak and tattered.

Careful. Slow. _God_.

I'm right there, nudging against what has to be the gate to heaven. Her heat is unbelievable, her wet arousal slippery and inviting. She's forgotten her fear and is arching against me, riding out the last of her climax.

Careful, my mind screams, except I _need_ this, and I'm not sure careful can play any part. Oh, how I need _this_. To be a part of her, to be buried in her comfort and heat, to possess and bond in this most carnal way. I ache.

Gritting my teeth, I push forward, feeling her open for me, tender flesh parting perfectly. I can feel her stretch, the small piece of delicate skin that marks her virginity still partially intact despite all we've done. I push forward a little more and feel it tear under my persistence.

"Sorry, love. Hold me, I have you."

She doesn't react outwardly. Her eyes are closed, her head turned slightly to the side. She's panting, dragging air in quick, shallow inhalations. A tiny V appears between her eyes, a furrowing of muscle and flesh that speaks her pain louder than words.

"Look at me, Bella." I need to stop breathing. If she bleeds...

Her eyes meet mine, gravity yanking me back down to earth.

I inhale tentatively.

Blood.

Bella's blood.

I stop breathing, stop moving, stop _thinking_. She surrounds me, and the sensation is like nothing I've ever experienced. Better than her touch, better even than her mouth...

The monster I feared underestimating rattles his cage.

My hips surge against hers, once, twice, a third time.

My hands clench into fists, tearing sheets and the cover of the mattress beneath us. I push into her, deeper, _wanting_ deeper, _needing_ deeper. I'm not breathing but the smell of her perfect blood is locked in my airways, lush and alive. Venom pools so that I have to swallow again and again, and with every swallow more of that scent is consumed until I see red, feel red,_ need_ red...

"Edward, look at me."

Warm hands frame my face, and her voice stops the monster cold.

Her.

She is his...

_Mine._

Ours.

I open my eyes and groan. Bella is pale. Her eyes glisten with unshed tears.

"There you are," she murmurs, her smile tremulous and grounding—an anchor in my personal, conflicting storm. "It's okay."

I try to pull back, terrified I've hurt her in some way. Her legs are around my waist, and I don't want to hurt her more by tearing away from her. I can't get my hands uncurled from the springs inside the mattress. They seem wrapped around my fingers.

I'm evil enough the feeling of her tight and wet around me is just as much of a deterrent to moving away as any of the other reasons.

"I'm fine, Edward. You didn't hurt me at all. Not at all, okay? I'm fine."

"Are you lying to me?" I sound harsh and angry, though I don't mean to be. The anger is directed at me and my weakness, not at her. Bella only smiles, shaking her head, forgiving my tone the way she forgives everything bad and dark about me.

Speaking makes me breathe, and I realize the scent of her blood is actually very faint. No more than a drop or two has been spilled. The smell of laundry detergent on the sheets is stronger. The smell of the ocean-salt on her skin from our swim is stronger. The smell of sex and love is stronger.

"Look at me. I'm not lying. I'm perfectly okay."

Dropping my head to hers, resting my forehead on hers, I exhale slowly, relaxing somewhat while still keeping myself immobile above her.

"We can stop if you want?" Her offer is sympathetic and understanding. I know she will allow me to draw away and not hold it against me. She will forgive my failure and take me as I am.

I don't want that at all. Now that the moment has passed, I'm more and more aware of our bodies and how intimately connected they are. I want to fix this, if I can. I want to do this right. I want no reason to need her forgiveness.

I get my hands free of their shackles of twisted bedsprings and use one to cup her hip, the other to touch her face, caressing her cheek, running my thumb over her parted lips. My hips move against hers, tentatively. Her lips part, and she pants warm breath over the pad of my thumb with a tiny moan, part pleasure part pain. I breathe her breath into me.

She exhales deeper, a tiny wince showing in the minute crinkles around her eyes and the slight tightening of her jaw. Her thighs tighten as well, as though to keep me still.

"You're hurting," I accuse.

Her head shakes in negation.

"Bella?"

"Only a little. It's...uncomfortable."

I sense she's editing, but instead of pulling back the way I once might have been inclined to do, I push forward. A simple flex of my hip that regains the depth I previously had. Her discomfort is all part of this. Her body has been invaded by mine. I've taken over, buried deep, _claimed_ her. She needs to submit, to soften, to accept my claim.

I'd spare her pain if I could, but I would lie if I said a part of me didn't relish everything about this moment.

Mine, my thoughts roar in praise. No one else has touched her like this. No one else ever will.

I move again, and I feel her trying. Trying to relax, trying to accept.

"That's it," I murmur in approval. "Relax, love, relax your thighs," I encourage, reaching to stroke her skin from her hip down, moving behind her knees, unhooking them from my hips and pushing them down on the bed. The action opens her further. My fingers press against satiny flesh, pressure on her inner thighs. I slide deeper.

Dear God there is no match for this, _nothing_, nothing has ever felt more exquisite...

Beautiful love, my life, moans softly just for me. I sense her pain, but her pleasure is right there as well.

"Feel me, love. Feel me so deep inside of you," I tell her, encourage her, though I say it just as much for myself for I am awed and pride-filled and so delirious with how good this feels, how right. "You were made for me, for this, for us. Take me inside, Bella. Deep, deep inside."

A part of me wants to lay my head against her chest and bite deep, find her heart and bury myself there as well.

A stronger part, the healthier sane part, wants only this.

That part easily wins.

I move faster, and she whimpers, arching a little now, trying to give me what I've asked for—my self-sacrificing, beautiful girl. Instead of biting her heart, I kiss her breast, let my tongue re-learn the sweet taste of her silk-hard nipple. I press her thighs down more and push deeper until I feel the end of her, careful but insistent.

"There," I groan-growl-moan. "Take me, love, all of me."

She says my name and arcs her back off the bed, squirming to get closer, retracting now to get away. She wants and doesn't, the sweetest yes and no as she tries so hard to let me in. I hear her heels dig into the sheets as she fights to accommodate and accept me, _this_.

I want more than accommodation. I want to own her, every inch.

I slide my hand beneath her, under her firm little bottom, lifting her into me.

She says "Edward, oh," and I can hear the inner battle of more and less and slow and fast and stop and don't stop twisting in her tone of voice.

I move faster, pulling back and pushing in, stroking muscle and flesh that is slick and warm, wet, satin, and she is annihilating me with her love, her acceptance of all that I am despite the way it burns her.

I shake. My steel spine and muscles undergo some radical change, and I shake like I never have before. Heat curls in my groin, blasting through my erection that is so buried in her I can't tell where she ends and I begin.

I'm going to come and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

I don't want to stop it.

Bella curls her arms around me, holding me close. Too close. I feel her pulse against my lips and I want her, all of her. I turn my face to the pillows with a loud groan and bite the fabric just to get my teeth in something, anything. My hands leave her flesh and grab the headboard. It splinters under my grasp as I growl her name into teeth-clenched fabric, my mouth suffocating in down-fill-feathers. She cleaves onto me, around me, saying my name again and again in soft panting breaths, all praise and yes and take me-fill me, come-come-come.

I drive into her, careful but deep, as deep as she can take and my release races through my entire body, down until it's centered right where I am locked inside of her, jetting out of me, spilling from my body into hers with the most sublime sensation, like being purged and re-filled.

Like being reborn.

I gasp at the end and turn away from tortured pillows, keeping our bodies connected until we are both on our sides away from the mess I made. I stroke over her, using my heightened senses to examine every inch I touch and see, searching for hurt places for I lost all control, and what a selfish animal I am...

Bella bats my hands away and captures them in hers, dragging them up her body and tucking them between us before leaving them to touch my face. Her breathing is quick, her skin beautifully flushed and glistening with perspiration. Her smile is incandescent.

"Stop," she tells me, gently. "I'm fine. That was..." She slump-rolls onto her back, our lower halves still connected and entwined. Incandescent turns dreamy.

I groan, a little ashamed and a whole lot happy and proud. I didn't hurt her at all, well, beyond the realm of what any woman feels her first time.

"We did it," she laughs, giddy and blushing.

I groan again and move lightning quick over top of her again, right between her thighs, pressing against, but not re-entering, her tender, swollen, newly invaded place.

"We did," I say as well, allowing her infectious joy to numb some of the inadequacy I feel at having lasted no longer than a mortal man experiencing sex for the first time. Though in my defense, I can't see how any male, supernatural or not, can have any restraint when surrounded by such perfection and pleasure as this beautiful creature.

I sober. "It gets better, love, I promise. I'm sorry I..."

"Shh," she hushes, pressing her lips to mine to stop my apology. She bites at my bottom lip, probably hard, though it feels like a nibble to me, then laves over it with her wicked, sweet tongue.

Unlike a mortal man, I don't need recovery time, and I let her know with a slight rocking motion. She shivers in response, a little moan vibrating from her mouth to mine, reminding me that she didn't reach orgasm. Again I feel selfish, though I know intellectually it's hardly uncommon for a first experience with intercourse. Some women never find release that way at all, and it hardly matters to me. I know endless ways to make sure she's never left unsatisfied.

I lift her, moving until I am upright and she is straddling my lap. I kiss her, slowly, deeply, teasing her mouth open, delving inside, stroking her tongue with mine, petting her lips with mine, sucking her bottom one, then the top, tasting her for long, sweet minutes.

I ache to be back inside of her but refrain, despite the way she moves against me, as though she wants the same.

She whimpers, and I align us, taking her bottom in my hand and dragging her over me, soft, still-wet flesh gliding over my hardness. The feeling is familiar and erotic. She knows this. I know this. We've done it dozens of times, and our bodies move without effort, knowledge and lessons learned combining so that each of us knows where to press, where to glide, when to move faster, _faster_...

I run a hand up her back, still keeping one pressed tight to her thrusting little bottom, loving the curve of her in my hand, urging her to move the way she wants. She moans my name softly as I curl my palm over the back of her head, cradling her precious skull and precocious mind, fingers twining in her silky tangled hair as she lets her head fall back, mouth open in pleasure. My, God, she's so beautiful as she lets me take all of her weight, trusting me as I lift my hips off the back of my legs where they were bent under me, giving us a new, better angle.

Bella tenses against me, panting, and I know she's close by the way her leg muscles clench around my hips and the sound she makes deep in the back of her throat, a purring whimper that drives me mad.

"Yes, love, yes," I encourage as she lets go, slick and wet and warm, so warm, against me. Before I can stop her, lost in watching her, she moves, and I'm there, _right there_ where she opened for me so perfectly. She presses down, and I groan, "No, love, it's too soon, you're too tender, wait..." But she ignores me, and I have no resistance as I feel her wrap around me, opening and accepting and taking as though she's sucking me in like a hot little mouth...

"Christ," I growl, fighting and then just as quickly giving in. Hands once guiding and cradling tighten. I pull her down on me, burying myself in all her heat and glorious-tight love.

She can't hide a hiss of discomfort, but I don't stop.

I know she doesn't want me to.

I take and I give, and it hurts us both. Restraint is a prison my body aches to be free of. Her tender body fights to rebel the dominant invasion of mine. We both teeter on the brink of surrender.

I lower her back to the sheets and press deep and, oh, I know this now, this place, this feeling, this aching heat and consuming, sheltering, covering, wraparound bliss, and I want _more_. I will always want more.

I know her now. Know how deep I can go, and how far she can take me, and there is nothing in me that doesn't want to test that limit, to urge her to take more. She opens and does, and nothing is more perfect than her humid breath on my skin and her never-still hands all over me, clenching, stroking until I'm nearly mindless.

I move and she moves, and though I want to last I can't. I fill her with my release and hope she knows every aching toe-curling make me shake like a weakling jet and drop of it is love.

She softens around me, and _yes, yes, yes_, this is love.

. . . . .

I wake up sore, stiff, sticky and... Ticklish?

Squirming against torn sheets, I blink and rub sleep out of my eyes to survey my surroundings.

Feathers.

Everywhere.

_Feathers?_

I sag back against pillows that I now can tell are slightly deflated. Blurry eyed I take in more details of destruction as I swivel my head to look around, stirring up more feathers. It's like a small snowstorm in here, fed by my movements.

The bed dips. I turn my head again to watch as Edward puts his knees on the mattress and climbs up over me, smiling and gorgeous, dressed in nothing but black boxers with a designer label. Silk.

Looks like Alice got to his underwear as well.

"We made a mess," Edward tells me, his arms bent on either side of my head as he lowers his body to mine, acknowledging the destruction around us and my notice of it. He keeps most of his weight off me, but I can still feel every incredible inch of him. His skin is blissfully cool, drawing attention to how overly warm I feel in contrast.

"We?" I inquire playfully, my voice slightly hoarse. This level of destruction isn't something I could do. The headboard is broken in several places, and my left foot has sunk into a deep depression, the feel of mattress coils scraping not uncomfortably against my heel. Despite my teasing, my eyes are searching his, looking for signs of unease or self-effacement. Last night, in my opinion, was perfect, but I see things the way a human does, in shades of spectacular life-altering color, and he sees things in black and white, either perfect or not, no room for in-betweens.

He laughs, and I relax a bit. He's not beating himself up at least.

"Well, perhaps it was me that created the destruction, but you were the catalyst so I'm afraid you have to share the blame."

He kisses me, and I groan a little against his lips. "Is Esme going to kill us?" I ask a bit breathlessly when he lifts his head to give me air.

Glancing around the room, Edward grins in that crooked way I love. "Well, she can't kill me, I'm already dead."

I give him a playful smack on the chest but it only smarts my palm. He captures it and kisses it softly, soothing the sting, laughing more.

"Don't worry. I'll replace everything." He frowns a bit at the headboard. "I'll have to tell her about that, though. It's an antique, and it will be difficult to find another exactly like it."

I groan, thinking how that conversation will go.

_Hey, Esme. Sorry, we destroyed your one-of-a-kind bed having crazy hot sex on our wedding night..._

I'm blushing in an instant. Edward notices, chuckling darkly, running his nose up my cheek and kissing my temple.

"Don't worry," he tells me, lips soft and cool on my hot embarrassed skin. "The only thing she would not want me to break is quite intact. Well, mostly," he grins, mischief dancing in his eyes.

I look around the room warily. The destruction seems to be everywhere...

"Not any of that," Edward murmurs, turning my head back to him. "This." He lays his hand over the side of my face then runs it down my neck and shoulder before moving it over to my chest, directly over my heart that is suddenly speeding up with his touch. "This is the most precious thing, the only thing that matters. _You_ are the only thing that is irreplaceable, Bella."

And just like that I want to cry. Instead, I kiss him, dragging my hands through his hair and pressing my lips to his tightly. We did it, I think, and he's happy and we're good and it was perfect.

When I need air again, I study him, pleased with how relaxed he is. "What do you mean, mostly intact?" I take quick inventory. I feel sore, definitely, yet otherwise fine.

Edward grins some more and slides his hand up my outer thigh and over till it rests dead center between my hips. "One thing is not _'intact'_ any longer." He gives my pubic hair a gentle tug. I get the meaning and blush more while he laughs at my expense, kissing me until all I want to do is get closer.

He's more than amenable, pressing his knee between mine, pushing my legs open and moving between them. It's then I realize I may be a little more than just sore. I was sore last night. This morning, I hurt. Just the parting of my legs tugs on tissues that want no part of what the rest of me wants.

I wince and Edward draws back, studying me. I lick my lips and shake my head, remembering last night when I was so tired and he insisted on us having a bath anyway. In the bathroom, I was surprised at the small amount of blood on my thighs, and more than a little squigged out as I'd looked at him nervously.

He merely shook his head and urged me into the water, joining me in the huge tub, slipping in behind me where he proceeded to wash me and massage my aching muscles. He admitted the blood took him out of the 'moment' for a short time, but assured me I brought him back. I remembered the moment he spoke about, though at the time I hadn't realized it was the blood specifically. I'd only known he was struggling.

I thought the bath was all about getting rid of the blood so he wouldn't have to be tortured all night. Now I realize it was also about trying to make me more comfortable.

He smiles now, gentle and sympathetic. The hand on my curls moves to cup me and his cool touch feels good. Too good, and I squirm a bit.

"Sore, little love?"

I bite my lip and nod. Stupid human body.

My stupid human body gets stupider when my stomach growls.

Edward smiles more.

"What do you say we get you up and fed, my fragile human?"

I pout and sigh and nod. I'm hungry, and I am too sore for what I really want to do. That's just reality, whether I like it or not.

Edward helps me up and leaves me to do human things while he heads to the kitchen to start my breakfast. I mean to shower quickly, however, the water feels too good and even though sex is off the table, I want to shave my legs and take a little extra time to make myself look nice.

I find a white, pretty, light cotton sundress in my suitcase and thank Alice silently for compromises. White soft cotton panties are directly underneath, making me blush while wondering if Alice saw that I'd only want comfortable undies today.

In the kitchen I'm greeted by the sight of Edward in a white apron. He's still wearing only boxers, and he looks sexy and adorable. He's whistling as he stirs pancake batter, and the love I feel for him threatens to overwhelm me. I don't know how to hold it all inside of me.

Edward turns to check the pan heating on the stove and spots me standing there watching him, overwhelmed. The tenderest expression comes over his face.

"You look lovely," he tells me, and I have to swallow past the lump in my throat, too full of love to respond in kind, because yes, he looks lovely, too.

He puts the bowl with the batter down, his expression growing softer, as though he understands and knows what I'm feeling. He leans back against the counter and holds his arms out to me.

"Come here, my beautiful wife."

I'm across the room and in his arms in a heartbeat. He wraps me up like I'm precious and breathes me in as I do the same. Cupping my face, his kisses are sweet and reverent, like he's worshiping me with his sweet, hard cold mouth.

"I love you, Bella," he groans. "I love you so much. You are my life, my heart, my everything."

I taste tears and move away a little. "I love you, too," I tell him, though it's hardly enough to convey what I mean, how much I feel.

"Thank you for last night," he tells me, still holding my face between his palms, his thumbs brushing away my silly tears.

I choke on a wet laugh and sniff unattractively. "You're welcome," I reply flippantly.

He laughs as well and kisses me some more. When he draws back something passes over his expression and his mouth opens momentarily, like he's about to speak then changes his mind.

He takes me by the waist and lifts me, placing me on the countertop like a small child. Tapping my nose playfully, he gestures to the batter. "Blueberry pancakes okay?"

I nod. "My favourite."

Edward adds blueberries, his eyes meeting mine, the memory of the first time he made these for me present and heated between us.

_I remember the taste as he fed me, the sticky warm sweet syrup dripping, his mouth on me as he licked it off despite how awful it must have tasted to him. _

What was between us was so new then, so raw and overwhelming as we fought to find our way in brand new intimacy.

It still is.

My body wants more than it can take, and his cocky little smirk tells me he knows it.

In an effort to change the subject, I opt for conversation as the enticing smell of pancakes begins to fill the room. I notice he has fresh cut fruit for me as well and help myself to the bowl as he adds strips of bacon to another pre-heated pan.

"Covering all the food groups, Mr. Cullen?"

"Definitely Mrs. Cullen," he replies, pushing a glass of milk across the counter towards me with a wink. "I want you strong and healthy and energetic."

"You looked like you wanted to say something a minute ago," I say, not rising to the sexual innuendo bait his comment implied, taking a sip of the milk to hide the pink in my cheeks.

"Did I?" he asks evasively, instantly making me more curious.

I arch an eyebrow in answer, and he smirks.

"Are you going to tell me?"

The smirk falls away as he flips the last pancake onto a plate and turns off the burner.

"I was thinking I wanted to apologize," he says quietly, seriously. He pours syrup over the pancakes and uses the fork to cut a small bite-size piece, offering it to me. I accept and moan at the taste. It's ridiculous how perfect he gets these. Fluffy and warm and decadent-rich.

"Good?"

"Delicious."

He gives me another bite and transfers the bacon to a plate lined with paper towels to absorb excess grease. He offers me a strip, warning about it being hot. I skip plates and utensils and take a bite. I'm ravenous.

"Why did you want to apologize?" I ask, swallowing the bacon, worrying.

Edward offers me another bite of pancake. He watches me accept it, heat in his appraisal as I lick the syrup from my lips.

"Last night wasn't perfect..."

"Edward, don't..."

"Let me finish, Bella."

I sigh and scowl. He gives me another bite, and I chew and relent, nodding for him to go on.

"I know you'll say it was perfect for you," he tells me, a knowing smile tugging up the corners of his mouth. "The reality, though, is I faltered, and you had to bring me back. I feel like I should apologize, but I decided not to."

I blink, surprised. "Well, you don't need to, so that's good, but, um, why did you decide not to?"

He spears a large piece of cantaloupe with the fork and offers it to me. I take it off the fork and nibble on it, watching him and waiting for an answer. He seems to be thinking, a small furrow between his brow. I want to touch it and smooth it out. I don't.

"I had a vision in my head of how I wanted last night to be," he tells me quietly. "I wanted to go slow. I wanted to...make it perfect and have no part of what I am come into play. I wanted to be a man, your husband, not a vampire."

I start to tell him how wrong that is, how I love who he is and what he is. He stops me, a finger on my mouth, a "Hush, Bella," silencing me.

"I know now how wrong that was. It made me careless. I am what I am, and yes, I know you love me as I am." He smiles, gentle and conciliatory for making me think he didn't.

He sighs and shakes his head, all crooked smile and self-mocking beautiful man. "As I went to apologize to you, I realized how wrong it was to say sorry for what we shared."

His cool amazing hands come down on my knees and slide upwards, pushing my dress up and baring my thighs. Pulling them open he moves between them, stroking wicked thumbs and clever fingers up and down the skin he's revealed. A few small yet vivid bruises mar the otherwise pale expanse of my upper legs, and he touches them gently. I can see they match the size and shape of his fingertips. Fear of his reaction makes my heart race, but he only bends down to kiss them.

"I should hate the sight of these," he murmurs against me, turning his face so I feel the brush of his cheeks and his eyelashes before he looks up at me. "I should hate myself for giving you these."

My heart beats harder, faster. Does he hate himself?

He unbends and takes my wrist, kissing the inside where another tiny bruise rests. "I should hate myself," he repeats, so soft I barely hear him. "I should believe I'm not worthy of touching you."

"Edward no! They're nothing. I bruise easy, you know that. They don't even hurt. It's only a few marks, don't..." I feel panic clutching at my chest, a cold unease growing.

He brushes his mouth back and forth over my wrist and smiles.

"I don't."

"You don't...?" My voice is high, breathy and quivering.

"I don't hate myself. I don't believe I'm unworthy of touching you."

Relief makes me sag even as I want to hit him for scaring me like that.

He kisses me and groans against my lips. "I never want to hurt you, Bella. I hate the marks I left on your perfect skin, but I think under the circumstances..." He shakes his head, ruefully. I can feel him smiling against my just-kissed lips. "I wanted perfection and the fantasy of sex without effort. I wanted you screaming my name in repeated climax as I filled you and took you with perfect, controlled technique." He chuckles a little as he pulls back. I watch his eyes, trying to see inside his head as he stares back, open and honest—brutally so.

"What happened instead was messy, dangerous, and too quick by far." He trails his fingers down my cheek and rests them on my racing pulse, watching my artery hammer away the last of my anxiety. "No screaming climaxes," he murmurs, "no technique, just me losing control, and finding it, and trying to hold on as you made me humble and loved me more than anyone ever has."

He looks back at me, smiling softly, and, oh, how I love him.

"I thought to apologize for lack of perfection but the truth is it was perfect in its own way, Bella. Every second, every sensation, every touch of your body on mine, around mine, was perfect."

More kisses steal what is left of my breath and any ability I might have found to say something in reply. I pour my 'yes, it was perfects' into my arms that clutch him closer, into my tongue that dances with his, my lips that glide over his, my thighs that press over his hips, and my calves that tighten around his backside and pull him as close as I can get him.

I tell him 'yes, perfect' in the way I moan as he pulls the dress from my body and carries me back to the destroyed bedroom.

I tell him 'yes, perfect' in the way I open for him when he whisper-pleads, "Please, love. I know you're sore. I'll be so careful, so gentle, but I need you. I need to be inside of you. Let me, love, let me inside, let me..."

And he is so gentle, and it doesn't matter that it hurts. Not when he groans my name like a benediction. Not when he holds me like I'm his saviour and his home.

'Yes, perfect,' I say without words as he rocks so slow, so careful, so easy, touching me where we join, kissing me, caressing me, taking me past any part of discomfort.

I tell him 'yes, perfect,' in the way I hold him tighter when I feel him shake and come apart in me, because of me, moments later.

After, wrapped in torn sheets, feathers tickling my skin, cool, solid arms wrapped around me so tight, I tell him out loud as he kisses my throat and that place behind my ear that makes my toes curl.

"Mmm, Edward, yes, perfect."

"And the best part," he tells me in return, "is this is only the beginning." His eyes sparkle as he turns me onto my back and frees me from tattered sheets, blowing feathers off my skin with his cool breath as he kisses a sweet pattern over my breasts. "More practice equals more perfect after all, Mrs. Cullen."

"Really?" I ask, already breathless.

"Really. But for now..."

His fingers glide down and touch me there, right _there_. My back arches as my head falls back.

_Perfect._

. . . . . .

* * *

A/N Part 2 will be posted in 2 weeks time. Thank you to those of you who have supported me through this mad case of writer's block with this story. I doubt I would've kept trying to overcome it without the incredible amount of patience and love you guys doled out by the shovelful.

Just for FYI purposes, I've replaced chapters 1-4 with cleaned up re-edited versions of the originals. I will be methodically going through the remaining chapters as well and doing the same. Changes will occur in wording/grammar only and won't alter the original storyline.

To those of you waiting for a Preyward update, chapter 15 is with my beta and pre-readers so it should be up soon.

Aleea


	26. Epilogue Part 2

**A/N Thanks to all of you who came back to this story and read part one of the epilogue. Your support and readership means the world to me, your forgiveness for having the story on hiatus for such a long time, even more.  
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**Are you ready for part 2?  
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**Good. I'll let you read and tell you what I have planned at the end.  
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**Enjoy!  
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**Warning: This story contains material meant for adult readers only. This chapter has not been beta'd. I'm flying solo and as such there are most likely errors. Please forgive the small ones, but feel free to point out any large ones. Thank you.  
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**Defrosting Edward**

**Honeymoon Epilogue Part 2**

**~xx~  
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. . . . . .

It was the perfect honeymoon. _Was_. Past tense. It doesn't feel perfect now. _I_ don't feel perfect now. In fact, I feel pretty awful.

Wandering into the living room, I straighten colourful couch cushions that don't need straightening and refold an already flawlessly folded blanket.

I look at the clock on the wall. Edward has been gone for three hours, and in that time I've tidied, straightened, and scrubbed clean every surface in every room. Not one thing I did was necessary, and the beach house looks the same now as it did before I went on a scouring rampage.

I'm hot and sweaty, and I need a shower. Instead, I make my way outside and down to the beach, picking my way carefully around washed up shells and stones. The sand is hot and burns the bottoms of my bare feet. I take the punishment as my due, blinking back tears that have nothing to do with the searing sensation and everything to do with what happened three hours ago.

Cooling my toes in the wet sand closer to the water's edge, I take a deep breath and dig my fingernails into my palms. The little sting grounds me and helps me get my emotions under control. _I will not cry like a child,_ I tell myself. I just...won't.

What I will do is accept responsibility for my actions like an adult and figure out the best way to apologize to my husband.

Closing my eyes against endless blue skies and blue water, I breathe slowly. The air I draw in smells like salt and fish, the clean unmistakable scent of ocean mingling with the remnants of coconut-papaya sunscreen and...sex.

I smell like sex, or more accurately sex with Edward. I should shower. When he comes back—and I know he will come back, no matter how upset he is—it might be better if I don't smell like a reminder of something that upset him enough to make him leave in the first place.

Spinning on my heel, I choose to head away from the house and the shower I really should take, needing time to get my thoughts in order.

I'm so...torn.

My mind replays events as I move through the lapping edges of small waves, ignoring the way the wet sand sucks at my toes and heels.

The last three days have been so wonderful. Even Edward's insistence that I rest and take it easy after our wedding night and subsequent morning hasn't put a complete damper on things. He declared a moratorium on sex, wanting me to—in his words—'heal.' Luckily though, his ban only applied to actual intercourse. That left enough wiggle room for plenty of toe-curling, breath-stealing orgasms, for both of us, though as usual he's been generous to a fault and mine have definitely outnumbered his.

We've also lounged on the beach, gone for short walks to see sea turtles and island flora and fauna, swam and snorkeled and took the boat to the other side of the island to see a gorgeous waterfall and pristine lagoon.

Edward's cooked, and I've eaten. We've played chess and checkers and endless card games I inevitably lost, though I did best him once at Go Fish. There have been late night movies that we only half-watched—somewhere in the first half hour one of us always lost interest, and a soft touch or kiss would lead to more touches, more kisses. Pretty soon, clothes were scattered on the floor, and Edward would show me creative new ways to touch me and make my toes curl.

I wanted more, and so did he. It was impossible to be fully satisfied now that we knew what it was like to be together completely. I wanted more of _that_, and I knew he did, too. I never pushed, though. I understood the validity of his ban. The sooner I healed, the sooner we could be together again. I was so curious and excited to experience fully making love with Edward without any discomfort, I found the patience to wait.

It was all perfect, that is until I decided we waited long enough. My mind drifts back. Though a part of me doesn't want to think about it, I can't help it...

_I woke up this morning, feeling good. The stiffness in my muscles was gone, the few small bruises on my skin faded and yellowy. The insides of my thighs did not ache, and the soreness between them was a thing of the past. I wanted my husband. but I knew he would want to err on the side of caution and wait a few more days. So I set out to seduce him._

_I took extra time in the shower and shaved carefully and thoroughly. I fixed my hair and braided it, because I knew he wouldn't be able to resist taking it back out, preferring my hair loose and free. Then I dug through my suitcase until I found the smallest, most scandalous bikini Alice had packed for me, and I put it on. A see-through gauzy white cover-up finished it off before I went out to meet Edward on the beach._

_It seemed to go well. His eyes widened when he saw me, then he smirked and shook his head. I tried to play innocent, but he just laughed and drew me close, kissing that place beneath my ear that always makes me shiver before whispering, "You're beautiful, little temptress, but you have to be patient."_

_I pouted at the rebuff, then simply upped my game, asking for sunscreen application and dropping the cover-up that covered nothing. His eyes darkened, and I felt powerful._

_It went to my head._

I never should have let it go to my head, but how could I not?

_I stood there, feeling his hands on me, and I'd remembered every minute of what it had been like to have him inside of me. I remembered how he'd breathed and groaned. I remembered how he'd said my name like a prayer, like a benediction. I remembered that I'd made him come undone, completely, utterly, and I was high on that memory. _

Maybe Edward remembered, too. He definitely reacted to me, and with the very physical encouragement tenting the thin fabric of his swim shorts, I only got higher.

_I watched his jaw clench and those dark eyes take in every inch of my body, lingering on the small triangle that barely covered the swell of my sex, the thin strip of fabric he couldn't see that ran between the cheeks of my bottom, baring me completely for his eyes and his hands. I moaned like a wanton when he touched me, smoothing lotion over my skin and over my bare ass, and then, I went too far._

_I looked at him over my shoulder. I smiled. And then...I ran._

_I felt the wind in my face and the sun on my skin, and I laughed as I headed for the jungle's edge that began at the left side of the beach house. There was a path there that led into thicker and thicker growth. I looked back over my shoulder expecting to see Edward behind me, smiling, ready to catch me with too-fast ease. Instead, I saw him frozen where I left him._

I should have known. I realize now, that his posture was anything except playful, but I didn't.

_Caught up in the teasing game, I turned back and ran faster, wondering if maybe it would be possible to put enough distance between us that he might actually have to put effort into finding me. I could see a tight grouping of tangled brush and exotic bushes dotted with little purple and white flowers, and I thought I could hide. I thought about the laughter and hot wet kisses that would follow him finding me. I nearly tripped, and then..._

_I felt air under my feet, forward motion that was too fast and sucked the breath out of my lungs in a squeal of surprise. I was still laughing, even when I felt myself spinning in mid-air, then coming to a sudden stop, my back against a tree. The last of my air came out, this time in a squeak of discomfort as the force made me exhale hard in a whoosh._

_Edward wasn't laughing, and he didn't look playful. He looked dark, predatory. He pinned me to that tree with the weight of his body and growled. I should have tried to soothe him. I should have said...something, but I was mesmerized as he dropped his head to my neck and bared his teeth with a hiss. I remembered too late the warnings._

Never run from a predator. It triggers their instinct to hunt and kill.

_"Edward." My mouth was dry, and I swallowed, managing to say his name quietly, striving to sound calm though my heart was racing out of control. His head snapped up, and I saw him fighting. I should've tried to reason with him. I knew I needed to apologize for running. I thought to calm him with light touches and soft reasoning, but I didn't. Instead, ruled by some instinct of my own, excited by the short chase and the thrill that made me run in the first place, I reached up, tangled my fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck, pushed up on tiptoe, rubbing our oh-so-close bodies together in the action. I kissed him, hard, with tongue, darting it out to lick along the tight seal of his mouth._

_I expected him to pull away, but he surprised me. Hard cold hands, less than gentle, gripped my waist and yanked me up and closer. Off my feet it was instinct to wrap my legs around him as he suddenly kissed me back, roughly. I felt his mouth grind against mine. I felt his tongue lick past my lips and flick like a small sweet-stinging whip over my teeth and palate. His cold breath swamped my airways and made my head spin. I still felt the bikini shred. _

_The g-string dug into tender flesh, a little bite of pain that should have scared me yet somehow did the opposite._

_This is Edward losing control, I thought to myself, and I wanted it. I wanted him, like this, even though a part of me knew this was dangerous. I was willing to risk it. I was willing to risk everything..._

_And then, he was inside of me. It was abrupt, hard, and it hurt. For a second it shocked me, made me come back to my senses enough to realize he wasn't breathing, wasn't touching me in any way except where our bodies connected, inside and out. His jaw was clenched iron tight, and I could hear his teeth grinding, like metal plates. It made a sound; a quiet muffled screech that made me blink. The tree supported my weight, and the bark was rough on my skin. I heard it cracking and snapping, and I realized Edward's clawed fingers were burrowing into it. I heard the pattering sound of chips of wood falling onto the ground._

_I grabbed Edward's biceps, curling my fingers around them hard, though my hands made no impression on his skin or on his mood. His eyes snapped open, centered on mine. They were black, completely. I should have been terrified, or at least repentant. Instead, I melted, around him, over him. Liquid heat bloomed where we joined, and I softened, molded. Pain faded and the bite of pleasure reared its presence._

Oh, God, I wanted him. To move, to take, to have all of me. I shouldn't have, I know now, but then, in that moment, I couldn't help myself...

_My hips flexed, and though I didn't have any real room to move, Edward felt it. We both did._

_Heat flared between us. The sweat on my skin and the warmth of my body warmed him, especially where he was inside of me. He still wasn't breathing, but he made a noise with whatever air he had left and then he moved, inside of me, against me. It was hard, punishing, though I recognized that some part of him had control because otherwise he would have done real damage. As it was, all I truly felt was a dull ache as he found the end of me and butted the head of his erection against it, then the harsh fast drag as he pulled back, almost all the way. My body, my sex, clutched, trying not to lose him. The sound I made was desperate and needy._

_He pushed back in, fast and hard. Then out, then in, then out... Dragging, fast-paced, hard, almost punishing thrusts that pushed my back into the tree and stretched the muscles in my thighs and calves till they burned as I tried to hold onto him. And through it all, I felt the most incredible heat and pleasure. The little bites of discomfort couldn't stop it. In fact, it seemed to make it better in some weird way. I wanted more, and I arched as my nails tried to dig into him._

_His lips twisted in a tight grimace while the pleasure swarmed me. It made me want to close my eyes. Something warned me against being that vulnerable, and God, I wanted to watch him._

_"More," I heard myself say, though the voice didn't really sound like me. Needy, my throat parched, it sounded deeper, huskier._

_He gave me more, and I should have regretted asking except the new pace and harder thrusts just fuelled the fire raging in me. Something big began to build, my stomach clenching, my tight, burning thighs shaking. Every time Edward pushed in, he drove against a spot inside that made me see stars. Every time he pulled back, he hit that spot again and again. I couldn't think, though I could hear a keening sound, like a cry, only longer, sharper._

I didn't realize it was me until now...

_Edward's hands stayed on the tree. _

I didn't realize that until now either. All I knew, all I felt, was him...and us...

_My heart pounded. I felt myself racing towards something. I thought maybe I was going to come, something that had eluded me the first few times we made love, but it felt too big, too dangerous. It ached and it burned and it was so damn good I could barely stand it. I arched my back again and lifted my hips. The movement aligned me closer with Edward so that every thrust of his pelvis hit mine, ground against it, against that __spot that throbbed and ached for touch, and suddenly I didn't think I might come, I knew I would._

_The pleasure pulsed, and I needed it, the release, or I was going to combust, go up in flames and turn to dust because it wasn't possible to sustain this much sensation. I didn't know how much of it hurt and how much felt good. I thought maybe it was equal. Maybe..._

_Edward snarled, but the sound was soft, lost, because I knew he didn't have any more air. He still wasn't breathing. It didn't stop him from moving, from continuing to take me. And that's what it was. A taking. It wasn't making love. It was something darker, more primal. I knew he was fighting instincts that went beyond what I could understand fully._

I should've cared, but I didn't, and he didn't stop. He didn't pull away. I knew he felt what I felt, though even then while my mind was disintegrating under the force of my impending release, I knew he didn't want it the way I did.

_I tried to stop myself from coming. Some sane part of my mind told me I would regret it later, but it was too late, and Edward was pushing me, taking me higher and higher until I shattered like a sun gone supernova._

_It was bliss and pain mixed. Sharp sensation so raw and forced it made me scream even as it spilled the hottest bliss through my veins. I pulsed around him, squeezing hard, and through the haze my eyes fell closed. I heard Edward drag in air and curse. I felt him shake. I heard him say my name, and it was rough but no less sweet than the way he'd said it last time he had been inside of me, every time he'd been inside of me..._

_I felt him come. Felt the way he throbbed inside me, the way he went still and the pulsing coolness that filled me, coinciding perfectly with the sharp crunching of wood._

_Behind me, the tree fell and only Edward's arms and speed saved us both from being crushed by the massive weight that toppled forwards._

I blink and focus back on what's currently around me. I watch waves curl. I've drifted far down the beach and can't see the house anymore. I sit in the wet sand, feeling the water soak my shorts and underwear as I curl my arms around my lower legs and put my head down, resting my hot forehead against the knobby bones of my knees.

The sting of tears presses hard against my eyelids. I push them back, remembering how Edward put me down at the edge of the tree line, close to the beach house...

_He took off his shirt, the one I then realized he never took off, and pulled it roughly over my head, covering my nakedness. I reached for him but he stepped back. His eyes were still dark, though not as much as before. He growled a sound that I took as a warning, making me drop my hands to my side._

_"Are you hurt?" It was a sharp-voiced question, angry as much as it was inquisitive._

_I tried to take stock of the little aches and pains, the dull but insistent throb between my legs in my most tender place. I was still scattered, still feeling the last little pulses of my pleasure, but no, I managed to say. "I'm not hurt."_

_I tried to take a step closer. In response, he took one back and glared at me. "Don't," he snapped, and it was quiet but brittle with fury. "Bella do you have any idea...any idea at all how stupid you just were." He said 'stupid' with sneering inflection, and his disdain made me wince. _

_"You're upset," I replied dumbly. "Don't be, I'm fi..."_

_"If you value my sanity, do not say the word fine to me."_

_"Edward..."_

_He reached out and grasped my shoulders. His grip was tight and almost punishing. I knew he wanted to shake me, though I knew just as well that he wouldn't._

_"I'm sorry," I started to say, though I was still flustered and reeling and not entirely sure what I was sorry for._

_He cut me off. "You have no idea how sorry you should be." He stepped back again, dropping his hands that despite the cold hardness of his grip I instantly missed. "Go in the house. Get dressed in something that actually covers you."_

_I blushed and started to protest, despite the sting of that order. Edward spun me around in the direction he wanted me to go. I felt banished. Pushed away. Worse yet, I felt ashamed. I tried one last time to talk to him, but when I turned around, he was gone._

_I was alone. No sign of him anywhere, not even footprints in the sand leading away from me._

Lifting my head from my knees, I look around again and see that I'm still alone. Only my footprints mar the pristine beach.

Maybe I deserve to be alone right now, I'm not sure. The small rush of shame I felt when Edward left, has grown. All the pleasure I felt is gone. Now I just feel raw and sad and exactly what he called me. '_Stupid_.' I trek slowly back to the house and find it still empty.

In the shower I scrub until my skin is pink, tender and thin feeling, then I dress in clothes too hot for this weather. Baggy sweat pants and a big t-shirt that Alice somehow knew to put in the bottom of the suitcase. The fabric swallows me up and hides me, a stark contrast to the outfit I wore earlier. I yank out the braid I took such care with, not minding at all that my scalp hurts when I'm done. Then I make my way to the living room and sit in the corner, curling up in a chair to wait for Edward to come home to me so I can try and make things right again.

. . . . . .

I can't get far enough away. I race to the east side of the island and scale the cliffs to the highest peak, then I dive down to the thick, near-violent cresting waves crashing against the bluff and swim to the west side. The island isn't big enough to run away from myself. Neither is the world or the Universe. If I thought it would be, I might leave the island all together.

Ire at Bella has given way to my true feelings; rage at myself. Not just for what I did to her against that tree, taking her like an animal, nearly losing myself to an ingrained monstrous instinct to drink from her, but also for the way I spoke and behaved after.

When she needed comfort and care, I gave her the sharp side of my tongue and the brunt of my blame, foisting it on her when she deserved so little of it.

I think about the way she came out of the house, looking so incredibly sexy and sweet, smiling and confident and playful, so beautiful she took my breath away. And I think about the way she moved, sure and sultry and with only the tiniest trace of the under confident, clumsy girl who stole my heart. I was awed by her, proud of her, even as I tried to steal myself against what I could clearly see was an attempt at seducing me into breaking my no intercourse edict until she was fully healed from the loss of her innocence.

I was caving anyway. I wanted it as much as she did. Still, I was determined to last twenty-four more hours—one more day to allow her to recover, one more day to watch the small bruises fade and see her walk with less care for sore muscles and sorer, tender, feminine insides. Her sweetest place had accepted me, but at a cost. I vowed the next time I made love to her would be pain free.

I was holding my own, enjoying her teasing seduction as I applied sunscreen to her soft curves and sweet crevices. I was thinking that I was prepared to give her something more. I'd made the decision to give her time to heal not only in deference to her soreness, but also out of fear that her impossibly tender sex could have abrasions and tears that could spell disaster if they came in contact with my venom. I knew my ejaculate contained only trace elements that were most likely too weak to envenomate her and change her, but I wasn't prepared to take chances. Likewise, I pleasured her in these last three days only with my hands, knowing that the venom in my mouth if it were to come in contact with even the tiniest of abrasions would instantly guarantee a painful transition that would end this honeymoon on a disastrous note.

I was confident though that today I could make love to her with my mouth without fear. I was looking forward to laying her out in the sun and warmth on the blanket I brought and sating myself, _gorging_ myself, on her sweetness and pleasure. I was hard at the very idea, as I'd missed the way she writhed under my lips and tongue, the singular way she trembled and cried out my name when I brought her to climax against my mouth. I craved the erotic, sweet-slippery taste of her pleasure, her hands that would clench in my hair so hard. I wanted her thighs trembling against my cheeks and jaw as she rode out her climaxes, lifting her pretty hips and ass, rubbing herself against me, lost as she comes for me, repetitively...

And then Bella did something I never expected. She looked at me, eyes dancing with mischief, and then..._she ran_.

Perhaps if I hadn't been fantasizing about laying her out and devouring her with my mouth, I might have resisted the impulse that screamed at me to chase and catch what was mine.

Perhaps if I didn't have her remembered flavor teasing my mind with memories so strong of other times I'd loved her that way, so that I swore I could actually taste her, I might have resisted.

Perhaps if I wasn't so starved for her, so wanting of what she was trying to coax from me, maybe...

But I was all of those things, and above all else, I'm cursed. I am a predator, and she is—despite all my love and utter adoration—my natural prey.

_She ran. _

_I chased._

_I heard her laugh and felt her excitement in the air she displaced to lash back against me. I sucked it up as I ran and it fueled me. I tasted her arousal, hot and musk-earth-freesia, and I wanted her. _

_She was mine and instinct roared at me. I battled it as I ran. I battled it as I caught. I battled it as her startled eyes looked at me from her pinned-to-a-tree position and her heart raced sending surprise and newer, sharper, arousal-laced pheromones swirling around us._

It was sex and the raw need I felt to stake a claim as her mate that saved her—us—from the darker side of my nature, and I used it like an anchor in my storm of insanity.

I used it, and I used her. It was all I could do to temper my strength, to keep from driving into her so deep I could have split her in half. If she'd fought me, if she'd struggled...

But no, I can't think of that. She didn't fight me. Of course she didn't. She opened herself, and I buried deep, and she took, and I gave. She accepted, I demanded more.

I hate what I did, and yet... I can still feel her. Her heat, her silky wet sex so tight like a vise around me, her acceptance, her love, her shocking, sexy, panting cry for more. She should have been terrified. I know what I look like in that frame of mind. Dark eyes, darker soul peering out at the world from its encasement of white, cold flesh.

She didn't fear me, she wanted me. She held me and gave me herself even though I was as far from tender or loving as a male can get. I was brutal, and I took, and she not only let me but accepted me, gave back to me, responded to me.

She _came_ for me. Her first release with me inside of her and I did nothing to deserve it. I did nothing to praise her for the gift of it that allowed me to hold onto my control even through my own roaring release.

And what did I leave her with afterwards? Sneering accusation and insults.

Deeply ashamed, I hang my head and roar my regrets until the ground beneath me vibrates and the trees above me rattle and drop green life-filled leaves that don't deserve the early death I give them.

When my throat feels rough, I stop and heave out a last hiss. With a heavy heart, I head back to my reason for existing, hoping she'll accept my apologies and let me earn her forgiveness.

. . . . . .

I keep thinking about the last three days as I sit and watch out the windows, hoping for Edward, _needing_ Edward.

He's been so generous. He could have said no sex and cut me off entirely, but he didn't. Instead, he's touched me and cherished me, showing me how much he loves me and my body, over and over.

I think about our second night on the island, remembering the bath Edward and I took together.

_He ran the water for me, and then brought me a glass of white wine. It was perfectly chilled and tasted so good._

_"Come in with me?" I asked, trying to be seductive. I wanted to make love with him. Though I was sore, I thought I didn't care._

_"Can you behave if I do?" he asked teasingly._

_I glowered at him. "Don't tell me you were serious about the no sex thing, Edward. It's our honeymoon!" I say the last part with a full on whine in my tone, and he chuckles a bit._

_"Totally serious," he answered, his laugh fading away to be replaced with gentle concern. "You can't tell me you're not sore, love."_

_It was true, I couldn't. I also knew he'd noticed that even walking made me move a little too gingerly. It was useless to try and lie about it, not to mention the little hissing cry he heard me make when I'd gotten in the water. "I'm not _that_ sore," I say instead. Which wasn't a lie, at least not in the technical sense. I was '_that_' sore, but I was willing to ignore it._

_"You're a lousy liar, Bella," he replied, shaking his head, amused. Still, he stood up and removed his shirt and shorts, sliding into the water behind me. I nestled against him, stifling the little cry of shock at how cold he felt in contrast to the hot water. He'd put some kind of oil in the water and we both felt slippery. I thought that might make things interesting, but Edward locked me into place, my back against his chest, and I subsided in my attempt to turn around, tired and happy enough to be held._

_"So no sex at all?" I asked for clarification purposes, unable and unwilling to hold back the despondency in my tone at the thought._

_He nuzzled my neck, and his hands slid over my ribs and teased the undersides of my breasts. I felt my nipples harden, the tight nubs sending sensation and alertness straight down between my legs. I pressed my thighs together and felt the ache and burn leftover from where he'd been. He was probably right. I didn't think I could actually take him inside of me, but still..._

_"Insatiable little thing," he teased. "Aren't you tired? You should be exhausted. Jet lag, all the activity of the last few days, the fresh air and sun and heat-none of this is affecting you?"_

_I yawned, my jaw cracking providing his answer. I felt him smile against the back of my shoulder. _

_"That's what I thought," he gloated as I relaxed further against him, pliant yet still achy. The little burn between my legs only seemed to make it worse, drawing attention to the fact I was empty there when I really wanted and needed him._

_His thumb stroked the inside curve of my left breast, so close to my achy nipple. If he'd just stretch the joint of his thumb a little more, I thought. His mouth brushed over the place my neck ends and shoulder begins, back and forth, the same way his teasing thumb moved. I arched my back a little, wanting him to touch me there so badly..._

_"Do you want the jets on?" The question was so out of context to what I truly wanted, I only blinked._

_"Bella?" His thumb stopped moving entirely and I wanted to pout. I was sure he knew what he was doing to me._

_"Sure, jets, fine," I muttered in answer, totally lacklustre. He reached out with the hand not currently torturing me by not touching where I needed and turned on the Jacuzzi. It was a quiet system but I felt the pulse of the water all around me, showing that the quiet motor didn't lack power. The swirl and push of the water made me more aroused, not less._

_"So, no sex at all then," I muttered grumpily, answering my own question since he seemed intent on making me realize he was serious without answering me himself._

_His lips pressed back against my shoulder, soft, cool, moist kisses that made me feverish. His thumb finally connected with my nipple, the smooth pad slipping over the tip until I moaned._

_"I think, under the circumstances, love, no penetrative sex until you heal is best." He emphasized 'penetrative.' "But, we can be creative."_

_"Creative?" I asked, breathlessly. _

_"Do you trust me?"_

_"What?"_

_"Do you trust _me_?"_

_He pinched my nipple lightly between his thumb and forefinger, rolling it gently. My back arched, wanting more of the sensation._

_"You know I do," I answered, panting as his tongue, flickered over my pulse, his lips closing softly over my ear lobe in a cool sucking little kiss as he kept caressing my breast._

_He turned us slightly then moved us forward. "Put your leg up here," he urged, touching the right side of the tub where a small indent created a thin shelf. I did as he asked, wondering what he had planned, yet trusting him as I said I did._

_"Good, girl. Now, bend your left leg up towards me." He captured the leg I bent just behind my knee and forced it up further, then suddenly turned me a little more, and oh... The force of one of the jets rippled through the water and touched me where Edward had me open and exposed. I jolted. Water sloshed over the side as I suddenly moaned, my head falling back. I wasn't expecting it, but that didn't make the feeling any less decadent. Warm water raced against me, right there, between my legs. A concentrated rush and hum and vibration that made goosebumbs rash out all over my skin. It was...different, in a very good way._

_"Relax," Edward urged. "Lean back against me. There you go, love. Just feel." He kept caressing my nipple and every tug and stroke and soft tweak sent electric darts of sensation down to where the water rushed and danced. He stopped for a minute but before I could complain, I heard a louder hum from the Jacuzzi motor and the pressure of the jet increased. My back arched, and I cried out, a sharp little exclamation of intense pleasure._

_"Good girl," Edward praised again as my hips rocked. He makes another adjustment of our position and suddenly the jet began pulsing directly on my clit. I heard more water slosh over the edges but didn't care. "Tell me if you want it harder," he urged, his voice warm, seductive velvet as he turned my head gently and kissed me. The taste of him was so good, so sweet, the feel of his lips and tongue touching mine set me off, ensuring I definitely didn't need the jet to pulse any harder._

_"Edward," I gasped against his lips. "Oh, god...I'm going to come, I'm going to..."_

_He growled a yes, against my open mouth. I lost myself to the touch of the jet, but mostly to him and the way he held me and kept me centered with the pulsing of water even when I lost muscle control and couldn't hold myself up anymore. He held me all the way through an intense release, then slowed the jets by increments until the water was still around us again._

_When I could breathe normally, I sighed, slumping fully against him as he moved us back to the end of the tub, letting me stretch out fully, a completely sated, exhausted mess._

_"Well, that was definitely creative." I blushed to the roots of my hair and Edward chuckled, handing me my glass of wine which somehow survived the sloshing water and vibration._

_"I aim to please, wife." _

. . . . . .

The light is fading. I wonder if Edward went to hunt. I wonder if he'll be back at all tonight. I should eat. Or go to bed. I don't. I just sit and wait.

And I remember.

I remember our third night on the island... _My hands buried in warm soapy water as I washed my few dishes from the dinner Edward made. He came up behind me on silent feet and enfolded me in his arms. Soft kisses up the top half of my back, my loose fitting sleeveless top exposing an expanse of easily reachable bare skin. Cool hands slid under the fabric to find my breasts, also bare for his touch. I'd never bothered to put my bra back on after he took it off that afternoon... Edward groaned, though I knew he noticed I wasn't wearing a bra all through dinner._

_I attempted to turn but he stilled me. "Stay," he murmured, kissing the curve of my ear, the place beneath, making me shiver in the best way. "I've been dying to touch you for hours. I thought you'd never finish your meal."_

_I laughed a little, because he'd made me gelato for dessert and I'd enjoyed it so much I couldn't help the little moans I'd made while eating. I'd noticed it affected him._

_His hands moved down, and my breasts and nipples ache at the loss. Then he undid the button on my shorts, then the zipper, and I whimpered because other parts of me wanted his attention just as much. _

_He didn't make me wait. One hand tugged my shorts lower, the other slid into the gap left by the undone closure and stroked me softly over my panties._

_My head fell back on his shoulder and sudsy water sloshed over the side of the sink when I dragged my hands out to grab the edge, bracing myself against the pleasure his touch evoked. _

_He caressed and slid, and it all felt so good. Warm pleasure rippled into a little hot ache, right there. My clit started to feel tight, and I whimpered as he brushed over it, teasingly._

_"Don't tease," I begged, and he laughed. _

_"What do you want, love?"_

_"Touch me for real," I moaned, needy and not caring about pride. I'd beg if he wanted me to._

_"Like this?" he asked, as his fingers moved up and then under the elastic at the leg of panties. Past damp fabric to the exact place I needed him._

_"Yes, there, oh, God, Edward, ummm..."_

_"You feel so good," he praised. "So warm and swollen for me, right here." His clever finger slid over my clit, circled it, dragged wetness up from my still slightly tender opening. He used it to add glide to his touch. My knees buckled. He easily held me up. "I want to feel you come, Bella. Right here, just like this, all over my fingers."_

_And I did, and he made me feel like the sexiest thing on the planet as he praised me for what he gave me. _

_Later, when I could function again, he let me touch him, and when it was my turn to say, "I want to feel you come, Edward. Right here, just like this, all over my fingers," he did, and I understood why he praised me because watching him come apart felt like a gift._

I stare out the window, waiting for him to come back, needing him.

. . . . . .

Before I go back to Bella, I decide it would be prudent to hunt. I slip into the water and flex my arms, allowing my full strength to reign. Slicing through the water, over ten feet under the surface, I take no time at all to reach the small uninhabited island adjacent to Isle Esme. Carlisle and Esme own this island as well and they stocked it with small game decades ago. The wildlife has prospered, and I know I'll find a quick easy meal. Nothing as appetizing as what I could find on the mainland of course, but I'm not searching for appetizing, merely something to slake my thirst so I'm safe to be around Bella. I make my way up the beach and into the thick jungle, eager to feed so I can get back to her.

It's easy to find what I need, and I make quick work of it, leaving the carcass for other predators. Back in the water, I swim slower now, letting my mind wander back over the past few days.

My thoughts fall upon the moments Bella and I spent together just last night... _Bella, high on her accomplishment of besting me at a silly game of Go Fish, did a little dance around the living room. Outside, a soft rain fell and a moist breeze fluttered the flames on the candles I'd lit on the table._

_Laughing, she tackled me where I sat on the couch, displacing the pile of cards, sending them to the floor. I allowed her weight to push me backward and she stretched out over top of me, kissing my chest. She was breathless and exhilarated, and I laughed._

_"So, what do I get for winning?" she asked playfully, smiling up at me, her chin resting in her hands which she'd crossed over my sternum._

_"What do you want?"_

_"Hm...well, that's a loaded question." She waggled her eyebrows in an imitation of suggestiveness, and I tapped her nose._

_"Within reason and limitations taking your safety, health and wellbeing in consideration..."_

_She stopped me from talking by pushing up my shirt, running her hands along my chest, dropping her head to place warm, wet kisses along my stomach. The feel of her lips on my skin, her hands, made me groan. _

_Lifting her head, she met my eyes. "Is this within reason of my safety, health and wellbeing?" she asked playfully, her hands skimming lower to tease along the waistband of my shorts._

_I was about to take control and roll her under me, when she shook her head, as though she knew what I was about to do. _

_"My turn," she insisted gently. "I won. I should get to choose my prize." _

_"Bella..." I swallowed as I felt her small hands deftly undo the button on my shorts, followed by the sound and feel of her pulling down the zipper. _

_"My turn," she repeated, reminding me that she is as entitled to my body as I am to hers. Equals, partnership, husband and wife, love and sex, give and take. I curse mentally, even as I moaned out loud at the way her hand felt moving lower over my abdomen, sliding into the gap she made undoing my shorts. I wasn't wearing underwear, making it all too easy for her to slide her hand over me where I was so eagerly jutting upwards. I groaned then hissed at her touch, yanking my hands away from her as I tried to find a safer place to put them. Realizing there was nothing to anchor myself to here, I moved quickly, sitting up, securing my arms around her waist and rising, carrying her swiftly to the bedroom. Her safety was my first concern, but wrecking anymore of Esme's furniture was a distant second. _

_In the bedroom, I laid her out on the bed and came over her. I wasn't averse to turning the tables if she would allow it. She didn't. She wiggled out from under me and urged me back to the mattress, coming over me again. I should have known she would insist._

_"Something wrong with the couch?" she asked, sliding those wicked warm hands back under my shirt again, pushing it up under my arms, urging me to lift my head so she could pull it all the way off. _

_"I figured it might be best to keep the damage confined to one room."_

_"Is there going to be damage?" she asked playfully, letting her hands wander down to the tops of my thighs then back up again to pull my shorts down and off. I watched the way she admired my body, her skin flushing with pinks that were softer in hue than the way she appears when she blushes. Her hands glided back up my thighs, fingertips trailing over my erection which held her fascination. _

_I gritted my teeth tightly together on a hiss as the pleasure of that light touch hit me. Reaching up behind me, I grabbed the splintered headboard. It gave an ominous creak that made her gaze dart up to where my hands clenched. _

_"If you keep touching me like that," I replied through clenched teeth, "then yes, there is going to be damage."_

_"Oh," she said. A little sexy smile pulled her lips up at the edges. "And if I do this?"_

_She lowered her head and kissed the tip of me, then her tongue flickered out. I groan as the headboard cracked a little, realigning my hands to a more secure spot. When her mouth opened and she took me inside, the headboard cracked a lot, saving me from replying what was a very obvious answer._

I move out of the water and onto the beach. The daylight is fading as I shake water from my hair and begin to make my way to the beach house. Remembering the way Bella's mouth felt on me, the way her hands stroked me that day, has me hard. The erection fades as I get to the door, not because I don't want her, but because I have much to do to deserve her touch again.

The house is quiet, but I can hear her heart beat. It's faster now as she sees me enter. She's in a chair in the living room, curled up. She doesn't look comfortable. She does look worried.

I stop, not wanting to frighten her. "Bella, love..." I swallow, hating this, hating that I spoiled our perfect days with the reaction I had to her running from me. My body physically seems to hurt with how much I want to hold her, kiss her, tell her a million times over how sorry I am, but I don't move, not certain if she wants me to touch her. She's so still, her eyes too big, her hair tousled and tangled down her back. Perspiration glistens on her forehead and forearms. She's hot and most likely miserable with it. Her clothes swallow her up, too big, just like her eyes. I smell her tears before I see them.

Suddenly she lurches up out of the chair and runs across the room. I catch her easily and pull her close and tight, and _God_, she feels so good in my arms. I feel her sob.

"I'm sorry. Please, don't be mad, Edward. I didn't think. I just...I should have known better. You're right. You're right, I was so stupid. I did know, I just, I was...Edward, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Her disjointed apologies spill against my neck with her tears, and I loathe myself.

"Hush, hush, baby, love, hush." I tell her. She tries to burrow deeper. "No, stop." I pull her away from me enough so that I can see her face, push the sweat damp hair from her skin. Her cheeks are very warm as I cup her face. "Listen to me," I demand, using my thumbs to wipe away tears that come too fast. I made her cry, and I cannot hate myself more.

She shakes her head. "Edward, no, I have to tell you..."

"You have to tell me nothing," I say quickly. "You did nothing wrong. I was angry at myself. I lashed out at you in retaliation, and I was an..._asshole_."

She blinks at my uncustomary use of foul language. Grateful for her attention, still aware of how overheated she feels to me, I lift her into my arms and carry her outside where it's a little cooler than in the house. I carry her to the beach and set her feet in the sand. With quick movements, I reach for her shirt, attempting to lift it off her. She tries to stop me.

"Let me, love," I insist gently. "You're too hot. Why are you wearing this?" I strip the heavy shirt from her sweat soaked skin and toss it aside. She's wearing a white cotton tank top underneath and it's soaked through. Her skin feels clammy, her body trying too hard to cool itself. I feel like an even bigger asshole.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you alone. I should at least have a damn air conditioner in the house for you."

"I'm fine," she lies, eyes wet and red, still too large in her pale face as she watches me. Her sadness tears at me. I'd rather her anger. I _deserve_ her anger.

"It's not fine," I growl, then tug the drawstring to the ridiculous sweat pants and push them down to her feet. I lift her from the pool of fabric and carry her once again in my arms down to the water's edge. I settle us both in the wet cool sand, placing her between my splayed legs so the water can lap at her feet and ankles. She leans heavily against my chest, and I can feel the heat radiating off her skin. She's cooling already, though, and some of my anxiety fades. Both because of that and the way she melts against me, letting me know she isn't afraid of me at least. The rest, well...

"You don't need to apologize to me," I tell her a moment later. "It's me who needs to do that."

She starts to shake her head, but I silence her with a soft kiss on her neck and the tightening of my arms around her waist.

"Bella, what happened, we do need to talk about it, we do need to have clear...boundaries, but what I said to you after, it was wrong. You are _not_ stupid, and what you did, running from me, while it wasn't a good thing to do, it was hardly a crime or a lack of intelligence."

"I didn't think," she answers, her voice slightly rough and thick from crying. "But Edward? I do know better, and I put you in a bad place. I did that."

I tighten my arms again in a gentle hug, sighing against her cheek. "You were teasing your husband, Bella. Playing a game. It shouldn't have put me in a bad place!" I can't keep the vehemence from my voice.

No longer complacent to stay where she is, Bella struggles out of my arms and turns to face me on her knees, her expression livid. "Don't you dare do that, Edward Cullen. Don't start with the self-hate." Her face softens, her features smoothing out into a look of adoration and understanding. "You are what you are. I love you. I knew what I was getting myself into when I married you."

"Did you expect your husband to turn into a beast and take you roughly against a tree in the jungle?" I ask angrily.

Bella shakes her head at me, looking exasperated. "I didn't expect, but I...hoped."

I blink at her, lost for words as the meaning sinks in.

"You didn't hurt me, Edward. I know you're freaked out. I know you scared yourself, and I'm sorry I did what I did, but only because it upset you and made you feel that you lost control. Not because of what actually happened. Not the act itself, only the way it came to happen."

Reaching out, I grab her and pull her close, lifting her until she's straddling my lap. Her legs go around my waist and I hold her tightly, breathing in her scent. "You don't know, Bella. You don't know how close I came...to biting you."

"But you didn't," she assured me, her hands running over my back, her lips against my neck. "You didn't even really try."

It's true, I didn't. My teeth only came close to her neck only once and only to get her scent, but that didn't mean I wasn't thinking about it, battling the urge the entire time.

"It _was_ in my head," I growl. "Bella, it was in my head and I...I would die if I hurt you, don't you understand? What happened, it was so reckless, so dangerous. It can't happen again, not while you're still human!"

Leaning back, Bella rests her hands on my shoulders and meets my eyes. "I know," she whispers. "I know it can't, and I'm sorry I ran. I swear to you, I'll be more careful."

I hate hearing those words and I tell her so. "I hate that, Bella. I don't want you to have to be more careful, but it is what it is, love. I am what I am, and you can't take risks like that again. You can't challenge me, please," I beg. "Please, promise me you won't."

She nods, solemn and beautiful in the growing moonlight. "I promise and I'm so so sor..."

"Hush," I tell her against her lips, brushing them with my own, taking her by the hips and pulling her closer to me, gathering her tight and pressing my lips next to her throat, all around the soft column, all over her lovely, living, pulse. "No more apologies, love. No more."

She nods, and I move my mouth back to hers, kissing her slow while the water laps at our legs, the tide coming in. My hands move to the back of her head, cradling her skull and tangling in her hair to deepen our kiss, filling myself with her taste and the reassurance that we can overcome this.

I give her a moment to breathe, my mind busy working its way through all that has happened. "You liked what happened, the act?" I ask her quietly.

I feel her blush and the way she goes so very still in my arms. She nods, tentatively, and I groan, kissing her again and again, because a part of me liked it as well.

"When you're changed," I tell her in between deep dragging kisses. "When you're less fragile, I promise you a thousand moments like that, only better." I pull back, my hands still in her hair, help keep her angled so I can drag my eyes over her face, see her and let her see me as I impart importance and resolve. "But for now, love, boundaries, okay?"

She nods, breathless from my kisses, cheeks still flushed with heat, though she's thankfully much cooler now. I untangle one hand to brush one of the dark circles defined under her tired eyes. She's exhausted and needs every ounce of my reassurance and comfort, but we have to establish our boundaries.

"Never run from me," I reiterate. "Not ever. Never take me unaware or surprise me with your actions. Don't initiate or do unexpected things, Bella. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be harsh," I tell her when I see her face pale slightly. "For now, I need to have the control, okay?"

She bites her lips but nods, and I soothe her with light kisses.

"I love making love to you, Bella. So much. More than I can express with words. What we share, it's perfect, and I want to explore our intimacy with you, learn with you, but above our desires your safety has to come first. Promise me," I breathe, gathering her closer.

"I promise, Edward."

I hold her while the water moves closer with the rising tide, then stand in the glow from a very full moon and carry her into the house. She lets me take her into the bedroom and lay her on the bed, lets me gather towels to dry her feet and calves, lets me kiss her and tell her how much I love her.

I peel off the rest of her clothes and move down her body, inspecting her skin carefully under the guise of soft touches and caresses. Her eyes on me let me know the guise is useless, she knows what I'm doing.

I find a few fresh bruises on the inside of her thighs where she clung so tight to my hips. I find a few light scratches on her back from the tree and a small welt on her arm. I can't identify the maker of that mark, but I kiss it anyway, unspoken apology all over my lips.

Lastly, giving her a firm look to let her know she must not fight me, I gently part her legs and run my hands up, parting them more. My eyes inspect, but oh, yes, they admire as well. The flower of her sex is closed tight in its unaroused state, and I skim my fingers up the seam of her, gentle, so gentle. Her hands touch my hair, run through it, letting me know it's okay. She knows I need to do this, must get my reassurance or be driven mad. She lets me part her, open her.

I kiss her knee, then her leg, then move down to kiss the Venus mound covered in the tight silky curls of her small pubic triangle. She's shaved herself closer than normal. I let her know I notice by kissing the skin on either side, then I open her more and take a second to ensure she's not been harmed by the roughness I used on her.

Assured, that at least physically, she bears no wounds beyond a darkening of the normal bloom of colour she bears here, I let my kisses linger, move lower.

My inspection turns to worship. Soft opening touches turn to soft, questing flicks of my tongue, cool open-mouthed kisses, the most careful of suckling, guarding her against my teeth at all times.

Her response, her soft moans and pants, the circling of her hips, the clutch of her hands in my hair, they're all markers of my forgiveness. I drink them in greedily and take her over the edge again and again, repeated apologies uttered with touch instead of words, cherishing her and giving her pleasure until she's spent and quivering and unable to rise and crest any longer.

Cradling her close, I draw a sheet over her and urge her to sleep. Her exhaustion draws her away from me, and I settle myself close, ready as always to wait out the night for her to return to me when she wakes.

For now, dreams I can't read, thoughts and feelings I can't be a part of, claim her attention. I'm patient and willing as always to hold vigil, to keep her close and safe until morning.

We've weathered another storm together, and we're stronger for it.

. . . . . .

**A/N** Some of you who are also reading my fic Prey for the Wicked may notice a similarity to Prey's last chapter here in the tree action. ;) It was unintentional and coincidental, but it was still fun to write what felt like 2 sides to the popular sex against a tree scene. Though it kinda feels like the tree action here would have been more fitting to Preyward then Defrostedward... lol. (If you're not reading Prey for the Wicked and you enjoy a darker, dominant, take-what-he-wants, no apologies, Darkward, you might want to join us. We are having loads of fun - oh, well, I am anyway - with Preyward.) :) *shameless self-pimping is shameless, I know.*

Anyway, I digress. I just wanted to remind those who haven't read recently that in chapter 24 I did have sex against a tree in the jungle as an option for action in the honeymoon epilogue when I asked for readers to vote on what they wanted to read. Again, non-canon won, but I couldn't resist putting this in here as well. I actually originally planned to have it be an event that would not cause drama. Then, as I began to write it, I realized (imo) it wouldn't fit canon Edward to engage in sex like this without angst or regret. At least not while Bella was still human. I hope you all agree. Plus, I also realistically feel that these two have to find their way to making this work, and bumps are inevitable. To me that they can find ways to overcome and deal with issues makes the read all that much sweeter. Feel free to disagree, I love to hear your opinions.

Finally (sorry for being long-winded but readers familiar with me must be used to that by now) I'm sure you guys noticed the ending isn't exactly a good one. That's cause it's not the end, yet. This ended up so long, the epi will now have a part 3. (Yes, I have issues. Both in letting go of this story, and in doing anything short. You guys should be used to that as well, lol.)

Part 3 will be the final part. (Apologies to those that find that sad, and you're welcome to those who think I should have ended this ages ago but hung on to see the train wreck, lol.) Oh ugh, I hope this isn't a train wreck...

Anyway, see you all in about 2 weeks. Thank you for reading. Know that I value and use your reviews as inspiration, even if I sometimes fail at replying.

Feed the lemon trees, pretty please.

Aleea


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